Well, It was Good News...
Konbanwa Minna-sama!!
Well, today was a very happy day because I got accepted to Brown. I was extatic about my acceptance to Brown, because really, all along, it has been my first choice. I had been getting discouraged reading about all the other schools I had been admitted to because, although there were a lot of aspects I liked about them, Brown was the only school that really stood out has having all the aspects of a college that I want: good location, open curriculum, medium sized student body, good programs in everything I like...and plus, everyone I know who goes there (which is actually quite a few people) is cool...they are people that I like and know I could get along with. So, I was very excited. Don't worry, I didn't lower myself to the level of Jamie's cheeleaderesque "happy dance," but I was definately jumping around and giving people high fives. It was tight because Erin had just found out she got into Harvard so we successfully wasted like twenty minutes of Japanese.
But anyway, I get home and find out that I've been accepted to Harvard too. I was excited about that also, but still way more excited about Brown, because that's what I've been hoping for for...well...a long time. But anyway, my mood of happiness was quickly killed by my mom. Although she claims she isn't pushing me in one direction or another, I can't feel that she is, and that we're going to have a lot of arguments before May 1st. She says that I should visit both schools before I set my mind on anything, but I can't help but feel that she is completely pressuring me to go to Harvard. I mean, what she's saying make sense, and I will visit both schools, but it just bugs me that she doesn't understand what I'm saying: I WANT TO GO TO BROWN. It isn't like I haven't given her good reasons...I've given her plenty, but she just doesn't seem to be listening to me. I mean, the only reason I applied to Harvard in the first place was because she wouldn't stop bugging me about applying to a "good" school (as if any of the schools I applied to were bad...argh), and I figured that I wouldn't get in and she would just fucking get over it. But clearly, this is not the case. Maybe I wouldn't be so mad at her if she just hadn't completely killed my happy mood. It felt so good to just be excited about getting into college, going to college, to have somewhere to be excited about getting into and going...and then my mom just makes it seem like I'm wrong for being excited and that I haven't thought enough about it and...argh. It just makes me angry. But I probably sound like a total bitch writing this, because I should just be happy that I have a choice and that I'm not arguing with my mom about whether I should go to CCC or get a full time job at Mervyn's instead.
Well, congrats out there to everyone else out there who got accepted today!!
*AkEmiSAMA
**note: I just wanted to share the news, not turn this into a huge rant (even though that's essentially what it is, anyway), so after writing it I cut all the rant-ish material and pasted it here for your reading pleasure.
I knew (and I still know) that I could never stand going to a place like Harvard. Even if I would get a great education, I'm not even sure I could make it through the first year--if not for academic reasons, for mental health ones. Going to Branson has already fucked me up enough, so what the hell would four years at a place like Harvard do? I honestly think that I would either come out of the ordeal a) severely depressed and discouraged or b) dead (well ok maybe not dead, maybe just in a mental institution...aaah the yellow wallpaper!!).
I really don't think I'm generalizing when I talk about the people from Harvard. All the people I know who have gone there or are going there are amazing people, yes, but I could never STAND going to school with people like them, and ONLY people like them, for four years (these people being, by the way, molly h., jessica a., eesir, the admissions rep i met over the summer, and my interviewer). Furthermore, I already get discouraged enough at Bransonwith how smart and talented everyone is, and everyone at Branson is NICE about it. Add a bunch of snobby, pretentious attitudes into the mix, and I'm not sure how I would possibly deal. I mean, don't get me wrong, I understand that there are going to be people exactly like this at Brown too (there would at Dartmouth and Amherst too) but I just can't help but think that they appear in a larger concentration at Harvard. And, at least Brown's philosophy seems to endorse a more laid-back, non-traditional (if that term can be applied to any of the ivy league schools) view of education, and I can only assume that this attracts more of the kind of people I would get along with. Plus all the people I know who go to Brown or who have gone to Brown (my moms favorite co-worker, three of tahle's best friends, catherine's boyfriend, and alex young) are people that are most definately DIFFERENT from the people I've met from Harvard.
And then my mom starts going on about how I need to make connections etc...well yes everyone I "should" make connections with goes to Harvard, but what about the people I WANT to make connections with. As much as I want to be successful and pursue the american dream and all that crap I still want to at least have a marginal amount of fun while doing so, and college seems like one of the only times in my life where I can get to know the people I WANT to know instead of putting on a fucking fake act so I can get to know the people I SHOULD know to advance myself in society for some idealized end that is negligable in the overall workings of the world. Honestly, how can my mom think I HAVEN'T thought about the differences between the schools and what I WANT. Yeah, so maybe what I want isn't the best decision for HER, but maybe it actually is a good decision for me. And then lastly, it just fucking pisses me off that she keeps telling me "oh, well now you can just say that you got into Harvard." WHO THE FUCK CARES???????? NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!!!! I was happy I got into Brown, isn't that fucking good enough? ARGH. I'll stop now. I swear.
Well, today was a very happy day because I got accepted to Brown. I was extatic about my acceptance to Brown, because really, all along, it has been my first choice. I had been getting discouraged reading about all the other schools I had been admitted to because, although there were a lot of aspects I liked about them, Brown was the only school that really stood out has having all the aspects of a college that I want: good location, open curriculum, medium sized student body, good programs in everything I like...and plus, everyone I know who goes there (which is actually quite a few people) is cool...they are people that I like and know I could get along with. So, I was very excited. Don't worry, I didn't lower myself to the level of Jamie's cheeleaderesque "happy dance," but I was definately jumping around and giving people high fives. It was tight because Erin had just found out she got into Harvard so we successfully wasted like twenty minutes of Japanese.
But anyway, I get home and find out that I've been accepted to Harvard too. I was excited about that also, but still way more excited about Brown, because that's what I've been hoping for for...well...a long time. But anyway, my mood of happiness was quickly killed by my mom. Although she claims she isn't pushing me in one direction or another, I can't feel that she is, and that we're going to have a lot of arguments before May 1st. She says that I should visit both schools before I set my mind on anything, but I can't help but feel that she is completely pressuring me to go to Harvard. I mean, what she's saying make sense, and I will visit both schools, but it just bugs me that she doesn't understand what I'm saying: I WANT TO GO TO BROWN. It isn't like I haven't given her good reasons...I've given her plenty, but she just doesn't seem to be listening to me. I mean, the only reason I applied to Harvard in the first place was because she wouldn't stop bugging me about applying to a "good" school (as if any of the schools I applied to were bad...argh), and I figured that I wouldn't get in and she would just fucking get over it. But clearly, this is not the case. Maybe I wouldn't be so mad at her if she just hadn't completely killed my happy mood. It felt so good to just be excited about getting into college, going to college, to have somewhere to be excited about getting into and going...and then my mom just makes it seem like I'm wrong for being excited and that I haven't thought enough about it and...argh. It just makes me angry. But I probably sound like a total bitch writing this, because I should just be happy that I have a choice and that I'm not arguing with my mom about whether I should go to CCC or get a full time job at Mervyn's instead.
Well, congrats out there to everyone else out there who got accepted today!!
*AkEmiSAMA
**note: I just wanted to share the news, not turn this into a huge rant (even though that's essentially what it is, anyway), so after writing it I cut all the rant-ish material and pasted it here for your reading pleasure.
I knew (and I still know) that I could never stand going to a place like Harvard. Even if I would get a great education, I'm not even sure I could make it through the first year--if not for academic reasons, for mental health ones. Going to Branson has already fucked me up enough, so what the hell would four years at a place like Harvard do? I honestly think that I would either come out of the ordeal a) severely depressed and discouraged or b) dead (well ok maybe not dead, maybe just in a mental institution...aaah the yellow wallpaper!!).
I really don't think I'm generalizing when I talk about the people from Harvard. All the people I know who have gone there or are going there are amazing people, yes, but I could never STAND going to school with people like them, and ONLY people like them, for four years (these people being, by the way, molly h., jessica a., eesir, the admissions rep i met over the summer, and my interviewer). Furthermore, I already get discouraged enough at Bransonwith how smart and talented everyone is, and everyone at Branson is NICE about it. Add a bunch of snobby, pretentious attitudes into the mix, and I'm not sure how I would possibly deal. I mean, don't get me wrong, I understand that there are going to be people exactly like this at Brown too (there would at Dartmouth and Amherst too) but I just can't help but think that they appear in a larger concentration at Harvard. And, at least Brown's philosophy seems to endorse a more laid-back, non-traditional (if that term can be applied to any of the ivy league schools) view of education, and I can only assume that this attracts more of the kind of people I would get along with. Plus all the people I know who go to Brown or who have gone to Brown (my moms favorite co-worker, three of tahle's best friends, catherine's boyfriend, and alex young) are people that are most definately DIFFERENT from the people I've met from Harvard.
And then my mom starts going on about how I need to make connections etc...well yes everyone I "should" make connections with goes to Harvard, but what about the people I WANT to make connections with. As much as I want to be successful and pursue the american dream and all that crap I still want to at least have a marginal amount of fun while doing so, and college seems like one of the only times in my life where I can get to know the people I WANT to know instead of putting on a fucking fake act so I can get to know the people I SHOULD know to advance myself in society for some idealized end that is negligable in the overall workings of the world. Honestly, how can my mom think I HAVEN'T thought about the differences between the schools and what I WANT. Yeah, so maybe what I want isn't the best decision for HER, but maybe it actually is a good decision for me. And then lastly, it just fucking pisses me off that she keeps telling me "oh, well now you can just say that you got into Harvard." WHO THE FUCK CARES???????? NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!!!! I was happy I got into Brown, isn't that fucking good enough? ARGH. I'll stop now. I swear.