I have a lot to talk about and it's hard to know where to begin.
For starters I am not pregnant, and I thank God for that fact every day. It's not that I don't want another baby. I do. But not right now. And it's not that I'd mind if John Carter was the father either. I would rather be married again and have it be planned, though of course if
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Hi Jor. What's up?
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*smiles*
How's Leo? And lawyer magazine? Are you going back to work?
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So how are things with you?
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*shakes her head*
I'm...I'm ok. You know how I get this time of year. And, well, I kind of let myself get really run down. And collapsed at work and ended up in the hospital. Exhaustion, dehydration, and stress. I'm out now, but Woody practically has me under house arrest.
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Jeez Jordan, I wish I'd known that. I would have called you or something. I'm sorry you have to go through this every year. I wish I could fix it for you. I've always wished that.
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*laughs*
It's ok Kim. I know it's coming. I...I don't know. I've got a new shrink and we've talked about doing that hypnosis thing to go back through it. But we'll see what happens.
It was weird. Before it happened, things...I just didn't feel right for a few days. They ran every conceivable test on me in the ER. All of them negative...which was basically good news...
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Hopefully your new shrink can help. Is it anyone I might know? And I guess you're not pregnant then. That makes two of us.
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And, um...it's Michaela Davis. She was third year when I was first at med school, but we never really knew each other. She's done a lot of post doc stuff on "complicated bereavement" or whatever the heck it is Howie says I have.
And no. Honestly? I...as terrifying as the idea was and is for me, I really hoped I was. But we had a long discussion about starting to consciously try. *laughs* I like how Woody put it when I finally told him what was on my mind. He said "we're not trying, but we're not NOT trying either." So I think once he decides I'm 100%, we're officially "trying." Am I crazy???
*pauses* So, are you glad or...?
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Hmm, don't know her. But keep me posted on how that's working out, if you want.
No, you're not crazy. I think, really, after all you've been through you'd make a great mother. You value you that bond more than a lot of people so personally I think you'd be a great mother who would cherish every moment with your child. And if you're worried about screwing up... we all worry about that.
As for me, yes I'm glad for now. I want another child someday but not yet. I would want to be married again and have it be planned, but of course if I had been this time I would have dealt with it, and tried to figure out how to tell Leo that on top of everything else he was going to have a little brother or sister...
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*sighs* I don't know. Maybe. Which reminds me I need to get some things to make a little "gift basket" for Woody. He's terrified to touch me until I'm "100%" and...well, I got annoyed with him last night and he finally conceded...but apparently he missed the day in health class where you learn that withdrawl isn't a foolproof method...
I know Leo would make an awesome big brother...when the timing's right.
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Yes, he will. I've always kind of regretted he was an only child. I know you and I both were but we could have benefitted from siblings, don't you think?
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