Comments | kim_watkins: Things and stuff

kim_watkins

Things and stuff

Sep 06, 2004 19:22

I have a lot to talk about and it's hard to know where to begin.

For starters I am not pregnant, and I thank God for that fact every day. It's not that I don't want another baby. I do. But not right now. And it's not that I'd mind if John Carter was the father either. I would rather be married again and have it be planned, though of course if ( Read more... )

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jordansmuse September 6 2004, 16:39:03 UTC

*finds the phone Woody hid again and dials Kim's number*

Things and stuff kim_watkins September 6 2004, 19:30:42 UTC

*Kim is sitting up reading a lawyer magazine and thinking about going back to work. She picks up the phone and sees Jordan's number on the caller ID*

Hi Jor. What's up?

Re: Things and stuff jordansmuse September 6 2004, 19:48:41 UTC

I just wanted to see how you were doing. *pauses* And i'm bored out of my skull.

Re: Things and stuff kim_watkins September 6 2004, 19:56:25 UTC

I'm fine. And sorry to hear that. Would you like me to read to you from my lawyer magazine?

Re: Things and stuff jordansmuse September 6 2004, 19:58:50 UTC

No. That's alright.

*smiles*

How's Leo? And lawyer magazine? Are you going back to work?

Re: Things and stuff kim_watkins September 6 2004, 20:02:51 UTC

I was thinking about it. John knows some people he could talk to. At the same time I know how I am when I work and I don't want to neglect Leo, who's fine by the way. Cast is off and he's practically good as new. But I'm not sure if I should go to work after all. It's hard to decide.

Re: Things and stuff jordansmuse September 6 2004, 20:05:38 UTC

Well... I mean, I'm not in your place and I'd never dream of telling you what to do, but... Will Leo be starting school? Do you think maybe you could find someplace that would let you work while he's in school? That way you won't be neglecting him. I just...I'd think you'd get bored not. But...well, it's your decision.

Re: Things and stuff kim_watkins September 6 2004, 20:22:02 UTC

Well, you're right. I would be and I just have to admit that. And yes, he'll be starting school. He um... he tested into first grade even though he missed so much of kindergarten. I guess he gets his brains from me. *she laughs*

So how are things with you?

Re: Things and stuff jordansmuse September 6 2004, 20:26:45 UTC

Wow. That's awesome. Do you think he's ready for first grade other than intellectually? I mean...that sounds bad. I don't mean it bad. Just... Well, after everything with Mom, Dad thought seriously about having me held back a year, just to be sure.

*shakes her head*

I'm...I'm ok. You know how I get this time of year. And, well, I kind of let myself get really run down. And collapsed at work and ended up in the hospital. Exhaustion, dehydration, and stress. I'm out now, but Woody practically has me under house arrest.

Re: Things and stuff kim_watkins September 6 2004, 20:43:05 UTC

Well, I'm not sure. He seems stable enough all things considered. And he actually seems to be better now that he knows Roger is dead. Isn't that awful? But if he shows any signs of being upset I'll do whatever I can to try and fix it.

Jeez Jordan, I wish I'd known that. I would have called you or something. I'm sorry you have to go through this every year. I wish I could fix it for you. I've always wished that.

Re: Things and stuff jordansmuse September 6 2004, 20:58:17 UTC

It's probably a relief to him in a weird twisted way. I mean, he knows he doesn't have to be afraid anymore. At least not of Roger.

*laughs*

It's ok Kim. I know it's coming. I...I don't know. I've got a new shrink and we've talked about doing that hypnosis thing to go back through it. But we'll see what happens.

It was weird. Before it happened, things...I just didn't feel right for a few days. They ran every conceivable test on me in the ER. All of them negative...which was basically good news...

Re: Things and stuff kim_watkins September 6 2004, 21:57:35 UTC

Yes, I know. I don't understand what made Roger go the way he did but I guess we never will. And part of me is glad he's gone but the other part is so angry that I'll never have any of my questions answered or see him brought to justice for what he did.

Hopefully your new shrink can help. Is it anyone I might know? And I guess you're not pregnant then. That makes two of us.

Re: Things and stuff jordansmuse September 7 2004, 03:54:49 UTC

Yeah...sometimes you just never know. The drugs might have had something to do with it...

And, um...it's Michaela Davis. She was third year when I was first at med school, but we never really knew each other. She's done a lot of post doc stuff on "complicated bereavement" or whatever the heck it is Howie says I have.

And no. Honestly? I...as terrifying as the idea was and is for me, I really hoped I was. But we had a long discussion about starting to consciously try. *laughs* I like how Woody put it when I finally told him what was on my mind. He said "we're not trying, but we're not NOT trying either." So I think once he decides I'm 100%, we're officially "trying." Am I crazy???

*pauses* So, are you glad or...?

Re: Things and stuff kim_watkins September 7 2004, 10:49:07 UTC

I'm sure they did, but he made the original decision to take them so basically, all the bad things that happened he chose.

Hmm, don't know her. But keep me posted on how that's working out, if you want.

No, you're not crazy. I think, really, after all you've been through you'd make a great mother. You value you that bond more than a lot of people so personally I think you'd be a great mother who would cherish every moment with your child. And if you're worried about screwing up... we all worry about that.

As for me, yes I'm glad for now. I want another child someday but not yet. I would want to be married again and have it be planned, but of course if I had been this time I would have dealt with it, and tried to figure out how to tell Leo that on top of everything else he was going to have a little brother or sister...

Re: Things and stuff jordansmuse September 7 2004, 10:53:16 UTC

I will.

*sighs* I don't know. Maybe. Which reminds me I need to get some things to make a little "gift basket" for Woody. He's terrified to touch me until I'm "100%" and...well, I got annoyed with him last night and he finally conceded...but apparently he missed the day in health class where you learn that withdrawl isn't a foolproof method...

I know Leo would make an awesome big brother...when the timing's right.

Re: Things and stuff kim_watkins September 7 2004, 12:11:24 UTC

Do I even want to know what would be in that gift basket? On the other hand, need any suggestions? *she snickers*

Yes, he will. I've always kind of regretted he was an only child. I know you and I both were but we could have benefitted from siblings, don't you think?

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