911
so...Its Sept 11th,a Sunday, yet another natural disaster on the course of distruction (my freakn house man), major things are set into play, and Im sure its only begun. I feel as if Im constantly fighting myself, but its worth it; my friends and family are worth it as well. The Lord is worth it. In this battle, I fear that all will grow tired. Maybe thats the determination I need. Had anxiety again lastnight, but no panic attack this time. I just want my fuckn brain out of this damn state. So much makes sense now; so much. My mother made a comment to me the other day stating that I am EXACTLY like my mother. I have to wonder who else in my family has this disease and to what degree. My manic side has been well nurished over the years and is quite powerful. Bi-polar I acute mania....me??!!@%$# How, why? The Lord has a plan for all of us, and its times like these when you cant help but wonder why certain events have to occur for this to happen. How come I had to impact so many peoples lives in such a negative way? I know my stubborn ass needs a push, but goodness. Oh well, theres no turning back