I want off this ride Damn it!
Ahhhhh....what a day yesterday was! Well the day climaxed after Dwight was on the computer and stumbled across a file/pics on the hard drive. yeah fun stuff. I know that he doesnt want to hurt either but I understand that he thinks hes getting closure by this..after all I remember. As well as I rmember wanting nothing being kept from me either like it was b/c to me that was telling me is was being lied to, etc. In this case, enough damage has been done. My heart told me to intervene reguardless of the initial consequences. And part of it im sure is thinking we got over that hump until setbacks like this occur. I dont want to hurt my baby! I dont want to relapse either.Yesterday I felt so shitty as well. I hated it man! Meanwhile after us two going at it and him (for the first time) leaving (but only for a few), and then me feeling as if I needed to leave before my mind snapped (I wasnt mad though) and leaving only to meet Sharie at the end of our road and turn around to go back to her house,Amy coming over, having a drink, Brian wanting to come over and talk to Dwight, Dwight and I being civil while he played his new game, and me waking up at 4am in a damn good mood (thank Goodness I snapped out of yesterday)and the toliet overflowing, Dwight and I are good =) Im happy, hes able to be sleeping, and im signing off to go make him lunch!