"You Know You Like My Big Blue Truck"
FINALLY, the entry you've been waiting for!!! Well...... actually, probably not considering my LiveJournal isn't exactly a cult or anything cool like that such as Sarah Morrison's "Best Week Ever" but, for those of you who do read my entries here is the entry following my best friend Amanda's and my visit to North Myrtle Beach, SC.
The night before leaving for the beach Amanda and I went to the pool with a bunch of guy friends that can easily throw us around the pool. While at the pool we find a ball and start playing a happy game of "keep the ball away". At one point in the game where I had the ball and this boy, Tyler, was holding me out of the water and started to play "pass the ashley" instead I yelled, "I don't care what you do, I'm not dropping the ball !"..... that was when Amanda informed me I was the ball.
There's nothing real amazing about this but, on the car trip down to the beach I saw the fucking Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile for the first time ever. I discovered the only thing that sucks about seeing the Weiner Mobile is you have that stupid balogna song stuck in your head.
No, I didn't have to sing the song in my head to remember how to spell balogna.
Where Amanda and I stayed in North Myrtle everyone always jumps in their golf carts, gets real loud, obnoxious, drunk and cruises down the main street next to the beach from 8 till 11 when the security guards or party poopers as we like to call them would kick everyone off the street... It was there on that street where some of the most interesting stuff happened to us while cruising at night.
One golf cart behind ours one night had a drunken redneck father and little boys with water guns. So, all of a sudden Amanda and I are getting our backs drenched by the little boys and we turn around and their just giggling their faces off. The father started talking about how they shouldn't be shooting their game and told us they're never going to get girls if they're 16 and still squirting girls with water guns. They were fun and the next night the same golf cart ended up infront of ours so, when they squirted us we had the golf cart windshield to block everything and I stopped the golfcart in the middle of the road and chased after one of the little 9 year olds.. We won.
A little boy riding his bike on the opposite side of the street started yelling after a little girl trying to pick her up while she was frantically walking away from him on the opposite side of the street. It was then I started yelling from the golf cart, "Don't listen to him!! Stay strong girl, don't give him your number!!" It was then I got a real dirty look from an 8 year old.
A truck parked on the side of the main street was being searched by one of the "party poopers". A girl that was standing in the bed of the truck started yelling, "Hey man, we're cool, we're cool, i'm cool, we're cool !!" No.... you're just high and are getting busted because you have weed in your truck. Sucked for them...
While at the beach people decided they would hop on our golf cart. After a while Amanda and I said we were going to have a record high of 9 people on the cart... we only got up to 7 but, one night we had two guys jump on our carts because we were hot.. they weren't the greatest looking but, I hooked up with one and he stole me a butane lighter that lights up and everything, it was a fair trade... They were friends with these two other boys, Bryan and Jordan, who jumped on our golf cart as well when invited. One thing led to another and next thing I know we're all out on the beach half naked and taking hits..... Did I mention how much I love the beach ??
As I ran away into the water with a good looking boy named Bryan, Amanda told me she caught herself with her arms stuck out and a pouty "but, why?" face. That was an interesting night with a big group hug. How we got back to the house, didn't get caught and remembered to rub the "fuck me" off the windshield amazes me.
On the golfcart we were driving there was this little horn that proved to be extremely annoying to other people which was amusing to us. This boy, Kyle, decided to start honking it over and over again while the guy in the cart in front of us was on the cell phone. The guy on the cell just stared straight at Kyle with the death stare. Also, while driving down the main street there was these middle-aged men with a stereo on the side of the road dancing to a song that just kept repeating the words "booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty" over and over again. No, it wasn't Ms. New Booty by Bubba Sparxx. But, Kyle jumped out of the cart and went and danced with the middle-aged drunk men while waiting in golf cart traffic. They were probably the saddest sight at the beach that night until the next morning and everyone had hangovers and were standing on their porches with coffee and the look of "don't fuck with me" written all over their faces.
If North Myrtle Beach wasn't made for hangovers than I don't understand the plethra of pancake houses. Seriously, when driving down the main road through North Myrtle all you'll see is the beach store, Waves, and a pancake house right across the street every single block. I wonder what ethnicity owns these pancake houses.. you know, indians and casino's, middle easterners and 7-11's, asians and their laundromats, etc. Like.. what race would own pancake houses?? I'm going to hell.
We all know.. lighting a cigarette on the beach gets real annoying and almost impossible to do at times. So, I came up with the ingenious idea of sticking my head in the huge sewage pipes and lighting my cigarette because the wind doesn't blow in those things. You can tell I wasn't quite right in the head at the time of doing this and can only imagine how funny it had to have been being Amanda watching me with my legs spread out wide ass up in the air bent over with my head in a sewage pipe trying to light a cigarette. Ontop of me shoving my head in the sewage pipe I also lost our pack halfway through the vacation. That sucked so bad but, not as bad as Amanda losing her cell phone on the beach and having to look around for it for 20 minutes in pitch black... We found it but, I held her phone hostage for the rest of the vacation.
Out shopping with Amanda and her mother one afternoon we decide to stop in to Friendly's. I get all excited because all I wanted on Earth that very moment was a Fribble. It's been an ongoing joke with my dad and I whenever one of us gets a Fribble and the other doesn't we shove it in their faces. So, I gladly sent him a text message telling him I was at the beach drinking a fribble and that he just failed at life. He responded telling me he was going to get his Fribble later... sure enough I got a text message later with a picture of him drinking a Fribble. Little bitch, can't let me win.
I went down to the beach only having one bathing suit and I found one in waves in like 2 seconds that I love for what said 40 bucks total. When I got up to the register the boy rung it up and told me the total was 150$. I don't even want to know how big my eyes got at that very moment... I guess big enough for him to tell me he was shitting with me and then asked for my number. I paid and ran out of the store feeling like the biggest dork.
In the car, Amanda started singing the line "the three hour tour" from Gilligan's Island because of the fishing boat tour her brother and his father were going to be taking. John then commented, "but, it's not going to be three hours". I proceed to put my face in my hands and shake my head and said "No, John... just no". I felt kind of old because he didn't know that was the Gilligan's Island theme song and Amanda and I got at least a lingering 10 minute giggle over that.
Driving down the main road one night there was a cart full of guys one sporting a mohawk and everytime we passed them in the line they would say, "weren't those the girls from.. nahh, can't be" then finally after the 5th time passing them one boy started singing "There She Goes" by Sixpence None The Richer. Another guy from a different cart yelled for us and when we turned our heads he just simply said, "Oh, I'm sorry.. I made you turn your head for nothing" and made a pouty face. While walking down the street to the beach a guy drove by and yelled at us asking if we wanted to party, I just put my hands up and said when and where? Unhesitatingly, slammed on the brakes, shoved it into reverse and we were exchanging phone numbers. 2 nights later I got a drunken 2 AM phone call from him that I didn't pick up and a message that had the slurred line "gawwwwsh, you're beautiful."
You know how most beaches have their entrances marked with either letters or something so you don't get completely lost? Well... Amanda and I would go walking on the beach for at least 5 miles and when we'd turn around she'd always be, "shit, where did we come in at??", for some reason I always remembered the markers and would just quietly tell her the letter we parked the golf cart at. My memory amazed her and, for some reason.. the letter entrance Q brought some interesting times. Where I lit up the cigarettes up in the sewage, where I hooked up with a good looking boy, where Amanda lost her cell phone, etc..
I will warn you though, if you ever go to the beach with Amanda Stires... she will want and crave a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and not shut up about it until she gets it. I love that girl to death, she's one of the only one's that will bring me out of my shell and become that loud and become a hooking up beach whore as she calls me now.
Late one night, I was hyper as hell with so much energy so I decided to get on one of the pimp bikes with the 3 in. wide tires and just go up and down our street. Amanda was up on the front porch talking to her boyfriend, John, while watching me just going up and down the street singing songs like "Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" and asking random questions. It was then she told me I reminded her of Keira Knightley in the new POTC movie when she acts like a little girl and throws a temper tantrum trying to get the guys to stop fighting. I really don't mind this whole let's compare Ashley to Keira Knightley thing at all.
The last day, hours before we were about to leave the beach, Amanda and I decided to go on a walk to try and find the boys, Bryan and Jordan, we had met the night before. We walked past the skatepark and I was pretty sure I saw them but, they were sitting at a picnic table but, I was nervous. That's when Amanda made me turn around and sure enough it was them, I decided we were going to walk up to the deck above the skatepark and while standing up there I started joking around that it would be such a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie moment if Bryan caught a glimpse of us and followed us up to the deck. Not but seconds later I looked to my left and there he was standing on the opposite side of the deck. I practically peed myself and Amanda pushed me over to say hello.
When we got downstairs Jordan offered us vodka mixed in pink lemonade. A security guard walked by later and we just smiled and waved sipping our spiked pink lemonade. A little while later Bryan and I walked away and hooked up again but, these two other guys had joined Jordan, whom they had met earlier, and Amanda at the picnic table. The two guys asked if Amanda and Jordan were together they both just responded, "No, our friends are just busy hooking up around the corner while we're getting drunk off pink lemonade." Jordan proceeded to pass out on the table then wake up and mutter he had a headache and ask where the vodka was. Jordan is Amanda's new hero because of that moment.
At the convenient store down the road who has the cutest old lady employee named Irene there is also a little food place next door with seating. While sitting around one morning Amanda noted how many laptops were around and started to wonder if there was wireless internet. That's when she looked up and a huge sign on the wall behind all of the people logged onto myspace at the beach that said, "Free Wireless Internet." We decided it's lame to come to the beach and get on Myspace so, we didn't bring her laptop down so we could go home and have that nice feeling of logging on and seeing New! everything's on our Home pages. Damn myspace.
One night Amanda's brother's baseball team decides to go to the restaraunt/bar, Senor Frogs, which I found hilarious that a little league baseball team went to Senor Frogs to celebrate because this place is about booze and dancing ontop of tables. At one point Amanda and I were doing the congo with the whole entire place and doing some Senor Frogs dance onstage. It was great and they had these bar seats in the shape of a butt with sayings and thongs drawn on and other things like that. We got a picture of us sitting in the Senor Frogs bar seats which is at the bottom of the entry. I'm the one with the thong chair and Amanda has the huge CAUTION written straight across her ass. Also at Margaritaville the balloon lady made us a hat and we put sunglasses on it and everything. It was pretty kickass.
When leaving the beach I was still wet from getting in the water with Bryan and had jeans and a white tee on with my hair out in every which direction and a sexy red face from the sun, I also walked around like a zombie from the whole beach experience. That was probably the best trip I've taken with another person's family. I love Amanda to death and our stealth like ways of covering up certain smells and coming back into the house at midnight and never getting caught and knowing how to enjoy the beach how it's supposed to be enjoyed.
That's all for my beach entry. Congrats, if you actually read that whole entire thing on my trip to North Myrtle.
The night before leaving for the beach Amanda and I went to the pool with a bunch of guy friends that can easily throw us around the pool. While at the pool we find a ball and start playing a happy game of "keep the ball away". At one point in the game where I had the ball and this boy, Tyler, was holding me out of the water and started to play "pass the ashley" instead I yelled, "I don't care what you do, I'm not dropping the ball !"..... that was when Amanda informed me I was the ball.
There's nothing real amazing about this but, on the car trip down to the beach I saw the fucking Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile for the first time ever. I discovered the only thing that sucks about seeing the Weiner Mobile is you have that stupid balogna song stuck in your head.
No, I didn't have to sing the song in my head to remember how to spell balogna.
Where Amanda and I stayed in North Myrtle everyone always jumps in their golf carts, gets real loud, obnoxious, drunk and cruises down the main street next to the beach from 8 till 11 when the security guards or party poopers as we like to call them would kick everyone off the street... It was there on that street where some of the most interesting stuff happened to us while cruising at night.
One golf cart behind ours one night had a drunken redneck father and little boys with water guns. So, all of a sudden Amanda and I are getting our backs drenched by the little boys and we turn around and their just giggling their faces off. The father started talking about how they shouldn't be shooting their game and told us they're never going to get girls if they're 16 and still squirting girls with water guns. They were fun and the next night the same golf cart ended up infront of ours so, when they squirted us we had the golf cart windshield to block everything and I stopped the golfcart in the middle of the road and chased after one of the little 9 year olds.. We won.
A little boy riding his bike on the opposite side of the street started yelling after a little girl trying to pick her up while she was frantically walking away from him on the opposite side of the street. It was then I started yelling from the golf cart, "Don't listen to him!! Stay strong girl, don't give him your number!!" It was then I got a real dirty look from an 8 year old.
A truck parked on the side of the main street was being searched by one of the "party poopers". A girl that was standing in the bed of the truck started yelling, "Hey man, we're cool, we're cool, i'm cool, we're cool !!" No.... you're just high and are getting busted because you have weed in your truck. Sucked for them...
While at the beach people decided they would hop on our golf cart. After a while Amanda and I said we were going to have a record high of 9 people on the cart... we only got up to 7 but, one night we had two guys jump on our carts because we were hot.. they weren't the greatest looking but, I hooked up with one and he stole me a butane lighter that lights up and everything, it was a fair trade... They were friends with these two other boys, Bryan and Jordan, who jumped on our golf cart as well when invited. One thing led to another and next thing I know we're all out on the beach half naked and taking hits..... Did I mention how much I love the beach ??
As I ran away into the water with a good looking boy named Bryan, Amanda told me she caught herself with her arms stuck out and a pouty "but, why?" face. That was an interesting night with a big group hug. How we got back to the house, didn't get caught and remembered to rub the "fuck me" off the windshield amazes me.
On the golfcart we were driving there was this little horn that proved to be extremely annoying to other people which was amusing to us. This boy, Kyle, decided to start honking it over and over again while the guy in the cart in front of us was on the cell phone. The guy on the cell just stared straight at Kyle with the death stare. Also, while driving down the main street there was these middle-aged men with a stereo on the side of the road dancing to a song that just kept repeating the words "booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty" over and over again. No, it wasn't Ms. New Booty by Bubba Sparxx. But, Kyle jumped out of the cart and went and danced with the middle-aged drunk men while waiting in golf cart traffic. They were probably the saddest sight at the beach that night until the next morning and everyone had hangovers and were standing on their porches with coffee and the look of "don't fuck with me" written all over their faces.
If North Myrtle Beach wasn't made for hangovers than I don't understand the plethra of pancake houses. Seriously, when driving down the main road through North Myrtle all you'll see is the beach store, Waves, and a pancake house right across the street every single block. I wonder what ethnicity owns these pancake houses.. you know, indians and casino's, middle easterners and 7-11's, asians and their laundromats, etc. Like.. what race would own pancake houses?? I'm going to hell.
We all know.. lighting a cigarette on the beach gets real annoying and almost impossible to do at times. So, I came up with the ingenious idea of sticking my head in the huge sewage pipes and lighting my cigarette because the wind doesn't blow in those things. You can tell I wasn't quite right in the head at the time of doing this and can only imagine how funny it had to have been being Amanda watching me with my legs spread out wide ass up in the air bent over with my head in a sewage pipe trying to light a cigarette. Ontop of me shoving my head in the sewage pipe I also lost our pack halfway through the vacation. That sucked so bad but, not as bad as Amanda losing her cell phone on the beach and having to look around for it for 20 minutes in pitch black... We found it but, I held her phone hostage for the rest of the vacation.
Out shopping with Amanda and her mother one afternoon we decide to stop in to Friendly's. I get all excited because all I wanted on Earth that very moment was a Fribble. It's been an ongoing joke with my dad and I whenever one of us gets a Fribble and the other doesn't we shove it in their faces. So, I gladly sent him a text message telling him I was at the beach drinking a fribble and that he just failed at life. He responded telling me he was going to get his Fribble later... sure enough I got a text message later with a picture of him drinking a Fribble. Little bitch, can't let me win.
I went down to the beach only having one bathing suit and I found one in waves in like 2 seconds that I love for what said 40 bucks total. When I got up to the register the boy rung it up and told me the total was 150$. I don't even want to know how big my eyes got at that very moment... I guess big enough for him to tell me he was shitting with me and then asked for my number. I paid and ran out of the store feeling like the biggest dork.
In the car, Amanda started singing the line "the three hour tour" from Gilligan's Island because of the fishing boat tour her brother and his father were going to be taking. John then commented, "but, it's not going to be three hours". I proceed to put my face in my hands and shake my head and said "No, John... just no". I felt kind of old because he didn't know that was the Gilligan's Island theme song and Amanda and I got at least a lingering 10 minute giggle over that.
Driving down the main road one night there was a cart full of guys one sporting a mohawk and everytime we passed them in the line they would say, "weren't those the girls from.. nahh, can't be" then finally after the 5th time passing them one boy started singing "There She Goes" by Sixpence None The Richer. Another guy from a different cart yelled for us and when we turned our heads he just simply said, "Oh, I'm sorry.. I made you turn your head for nothing" and made a pouty face. While walking down the street to the beach a guy drove by and yelled at us asking if we wanted to party, I just put my hands up and said when and where? Unhesitatingly, slammed on the brakes, shoved it into reverse and we were exchanging phone numbers. 2 nights later I got a drunken 2 AM phone call from him that I didn't pick up and a message that had the slurred line "gawwwwsh, you're beautiful."
You know how most beaches have their entrances marked with either letters or something so you don't get completely lost? Well... Amanda and I would go walking on the beach for at least 5 miles and when we'd turn around she'd always be, "shit, where did we come in at??", for some reason I always remembered the markers and would just quietly tell her the letter we parked the golf cart at. My memory amazed her and, for some reason.. the letter entrance Q brought some interesting times. Where I lit up the cigarettes up in the sewage, where I hooked up with a good looking boy, where Amanda lost her cell phone, etc..
I will warn you though, if you ever go to the beach with Amanda Stires... she will want and crave a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and not shut up about it until she gets it. I love that girl to death, she's one of the only one's that will bring me out of my shell and become that loud and become a hooking up beach whore as she calls me now.
Late one night, I was hyper as hell with so much energy so I decided to get on one of the pimp bikes with the 3 in. wide tires and just go up and down our street. Amanda was up on the front porch talking to her boyfriend, John, while watching me just going up and down the street singing songs like "Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" and asking random questions. It was then she told me I reminded her of Keira Knightley in the new POTC movie when she acts like a little girl and throws a temper tantrum trying to get the guys to stop fighting. I really don't mind this whole let's compare Ashley to Keira Knightley thing at all.
The last day, hours before we were about to leave the beach, Amanda and I decided to go on a walk to try and find the boys, Bryan and Jordan, we had met the night before. We walked past the skatepark and I was pretty sure I saw them but, they were sitting at a picnic table but, I was nervous. That's when Amanda made me turn around and sure enough it was them, I decided we were going to walk up to the deck above the skatepark and while standing up there I started joking around that it would be such a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie moment if Bryan caught a glimpse of us and followed us up to the deck. Not but seconds later I looked to my left and there he was standing on the opposite side of the deck. I practically peed myself and Amanda pushed me over to say hello.
When we got downstairs Jordan offered us vodka mixed in pink lemonade. A security guard walked by later and we just smiled and waved sipping our spiked pink lemonade. A little while later Bryan and I walked away and hooked up again but, these two other guys had joined Jordan, whom they had met earlier, and Amanda at the picnic table. The two guys asked if Amanda and Jordan were together they both just responded, "No, our friends are just busy hooking up around the corner while we're getting drunk off pink lemonade." Jordan proceeded to pass out on the table then wake up and mutter he had a headache and ask where the vodka was. Jordan is Amanda's new hero because of that moment.
At the convenient store down the road who has the cutest old lady employee named Irene there is also a little food place next door with seating. While sitting around one morning Amanda noted how many laptops were around and started to wonder if there was wireless internet. That's when she looked up and a huge sign on the wall behind all of the people logged onto myspace at the beach that said, "Free Wireless Internet." We decided it's lame to come to the beach and get on Myspace so, we didn't bring her laptop down so we could go home and have that nice feeling of logging on and seeing New! everything's on our Home pages. Damn myspace.
One night Amanda's brother's baseball team decides to go to the restaraunt/bar, Senor Frogs, which I found hilarious that a little league baseball team went to Senor Frogs to celebrate because this place is about booze and dancing ontop of tables. At one point Amanda and I were doing the congo with the whole entire place and doing some Senor Frogs dance onstage. It was great and they had these bar seats in the shape of a butt with sayings and thongs drawn on and other things like that. We got a picture of us sitting in the Senor Frogs bar seats which is at the bottom of the entry. I'm the one with the thong chair and Amanda has the huge CAUTION written straight across her ass. Also at Margaritaville the balloon lady made us a hat and we put sunglasses on it and everything. It was pretty kickass.
When leaving the beach I was still wet from getting in the water with Bryan and had jeans and a white tee on with my hair out in every which direction and a sexy red face from the sun, I also walked around like a zombie from the whole beach experience. That was probably the best trip I've taken with another person's family. I love Amanda to death and our stealth like ways of covering up certain smells and coming back into the house at midnight and never getting caught and knowing how to enjoy the beach how it's supposed to be enjoyed.
That's all for my beach entry. Congrats, if you actually read that whole entire thing on my trip to North Myrtle.