Newports and Cadillacs.
At the beach Amanda and I wrote out a list of weird ass awesome stuff that happened to us while in North Myrtle but, she hasn't sent me the list yet so, I thought I'd make a short little entry right now instead of a huge one when we finally got the list together. I promise the next entry will be sarcastic, random, and filled with pictures from the beach.
One morning I had no ride to work so, I came up with the ingenious idea of calling a taxi that came out to a whopping 15 bucks for a 5 minute ride down the road because I didn't want to ask my friends for a ride to work so early in the morning. I call up the taxi service closest to me and half an hour later I'm in the taxi with what has to be the most amazing taxi driver ever. I got a black man whom I couldn't understand a word he said that was driving a cadi with the taxi sign ontop barely hanging on by a thread that chainsmoked Newports the whole way to work. Now that... that is a man to make yo' baby's daddy.
While at Carowinds Amanda, Megan, Jen, and I decided to go ride the old wooden coaster called Hurler. After the first turn on the ride we all always unbuckle our seats so we get thrown even harder around in our wooden bruisebox. When coming into the station the first time riding Jennifer and I look at each other and I say.. "I feel like I need a cigarette after that long night of hot sex." She responded, " I don't even smoke and I was thinking the same thing!"
Sunday evening at Coldstone two older ladies came into Coldstone and started up casual conversation with me and started asking about the job and all of a sudden randomly one of the older ladies said, "I bet your boobs have gotten bigger since working here because you're working your pecs out so much." It took about every ounce in me to not fall on the floor and die with laughter because here's two old ladies both dressed in the old lady outfits that match top to bottom including their keds.
Also, one little girl whispered to her mom, "mommy, is that the elizabeth girl in the pirate movie?" Needless to say that little girl got some extra m&m's in her bubblegum icecream because she thought I was Keira Knightley. She was only like 4 and she already knows how to work people... Awesome.
You know what two teenagers do on a Saturday night when they're bored and have nothing else to do. They go to Target, get packs of apple juice boxes, coloring books, crayons, go home, crank up crunk music and color in coloring books while drinking apple juice boxes. Amanda and I win at life.
Saturday night I needed a breath of fresh air so I decided to go for a walk barefooted down my road and ventured down Perth for a bit only to step on a snail, get whistled at by mexicans, and not have anyone to talk to. That's when I realized how lousy of a day it had been.
Could there possibly be anymore motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane???!!!! Didn't think so.
I made the comparison of the new movie Snakes On A Plane to the classic Jaws because of how cheesy it is but somehow you're still sucked in. Then I realized.. they can't make more than one movie about snakes on a plane but, then again ... Jaws is basically just a bunch of kids getting eaten over and over again. Maybe there will be a few more planes with motherfucking snakes in it.
