..blah blah blah..
this morning we got up real early and went to mass with jan, alex, and stuart. so my day was pretty much done from the start. it was a long mass for many reasons. sometimes i find it hard to see them...alex cries and i always know that jan will say something about matt and i know that stuart won't. i don't know which is worse..saying something or
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Jess you don't have to have us over, and I know you want out of your house, and I wish that I could take you out of there all the time, and I wish I could take away all the things that make it hurt that much more, from now on we'll think of things to go out and do, and I know that's always a task for us, but we'll try...
Please realize that we are your friends, and even if it's not me that you talk to, because I don't expect it to be, but we are your friends, and we do care about you, as much as you care about matt, we care about you, and we want you to be happy, it's not that we forget, or pretend, but I think maybe we feel like if we're distracting you, you're not hurting, and I know that may be real ignorant, but it's hard for us to know how to interact with you, I never know if something I say we'll touch a nerve, and make it hurt that much more...
I've told you before, you're not expected to wake up and smile and everything to be ok, and I think you know that, but I don't think you're ok with telling us how you feel, and you don't have to, but if you don't want to hang out, or even if were enroute to your house, it's ok to tell us you've changed your mind...
I'm sorry, if I said anything to make you mad, I would of just said something to you in person, or online, but sometimes it's hard to just start up a conversation like this, so I figured I'd just say it here...
I love you, and all of your other friends love you too...
Just tell us what you want to do, or how you feel, and we'll try our best to make things as painless for you as possible...
<3Always, ~*~me~*~
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