I am anxious. I feel that I should've already heard back from the place where I just got hired by now. I am extra-super-duper hoping that the Seroquel did not create a false positive on the drug screen. I keep thinking, "oh shit what if that's why I haven't heard from them, the Seroquel created a false positive! Or what if the benzos were not out ( Read more... )

So Monday I saw my new psychiatrist and was happy with the way things went. This guy is not a douche bag like the other guy is. This guy was thoughtful, listened to what I had to say, asked me for my opinions, and was not unpleasant. I'm glad I found him! It cost $240 to see him, so I'm really really glad it went well. He prescribed me Ativan to ( Read more... )

Went to the new Pdoc today and am happy to say he is a much nicer fellow. He took time to listen to me, was thoughtful, explained how the medicine works in my brain -- all of these things the other guy never did. I'm glad I went and the $240 was worth it (ugh I need insurance so bad). He prescribed me ativan (lorazepam) and no more clonazepam ( Read more... )

 Somehow I got EBT benefits. $200 a month for food. Probably because I am unemployed and also because the awesome lady at the fancy DSHS (I know right?) was gay and we talked about the Pride festival in Spokane and such. I have to wait a week (meaning this Sunday I can file) before I get unemployment benefits, but I still have some $ left in my ( Read more... )

 June 18, 2011 I will finally get to see Minus The Bear, one of my favorite bands. When I lived in Seattle and the Seattle area, which is where they are from, I’d always miss them. But they are coming to Spokane, so I’ll be there. Its going to be a great birthday present ( Read more... )

 I feel better today. Laurel talked to me last night and helped me feel better. I have nothing to be anxious about. My mom said that over the phone, too. When I realized I didn't have anything to be anxious about, I think it helped. I'm feeling a lot better today. My stomach was upset but I don't think its related ( Read more... )

  The room seems bigger than usual. It is more vibrant, like the air is breathing. I am not in it. I am not in the room -- or its reality. I am a bystander, like I'm watching a movie on the big screen, but not partaking in it. It seems like it is not real. My hands are shaking. I am gagging, choking. I can't breathe. I am hot, I am sweaty. My heart ( Read more... )

 Goin to Seattle with VIP passes to Indigo Girls playing @ the Woodland Park Zoo in July -- Laurel's birthday present! They were the last concert I've seen, too ( Read more... )

 I just don't know me and my moods anymore. Something isn't right...

 Today I saw the psychiatrist again, and brought Laurel. For my anxiety he gave me something called "citalopram" or something like that. He is increasing my abilify and didn't seem too concerned that I will be laid off and not have insurance in 2 months time ( Read more... )