i can't help but feel my heart is dying.

May 10, 2005 14:14

i know nobody reads these of mine anymore...but who cares. typing out my feelings and problems helps a bit so thats what i'm doing. i didn't cry myself to sleep last night like i expected i would. but i did wake up crying. it really sucks to have everything i've done so wrong continuously circulate through my mind. i don't think its ever going to stop hurting. especially when all i could dream about was the person i've let down the most. i wish i could regain the trust i once had. and i wish i could go back and start it all over again. there are so many things that i would've done right, and so many things that i wouldn't have done at all. i'm a fucking wreck waiting to happen and all i can do is let my eyes well up to cause it. i will always be there for you. if it means waiting years...i'm such a loser that i will wait around whether you want me to or not. and if you call yourself a dork i must be one too...b/c there have been many times i've used your pillows b/c i miss it when you're not here. So please, don't think i don't care.
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