I AM SO FUCKING CONFUSED!!!
Okay, I really really really really really like this guy named Sammus Gayner. REALLY LIKE HIM. I know, I know, I'm going out with Tyler and trust me, there's NO WAY I'll ever cheat on him, so don't worry. I don't know exactly why I like him, but I really like him and it's scaring me a little bit. I mean, it's always fun to have a crush, but I don't want it to ruin my relationship or anything like that. Tyler was all "It's alright, you can kiss him" but I don't want to do that because:
1. I'd feel extremely guilty.
2. I doubt Sam would even WANT to kiss me!
3. I'd be afraid of Tyler getting mad at me.
4. Everyone KNOWS I'm going out with Tyler, so I'd probably get a reputation as a slut.
5. It just doesn't seem like a good thing to do...
I admit that it would be NICE to kiss him, but I don't want to disappoint Tyler or risk our relationship. Tyler was saying "It's fine, I honestly don't mind, you can just get it out of your system" and although he did seem very honest and that he didn't mind, it doesn't make it okay for me to actually do it. FUCK!!!
Anyone who is reading this, PLEASE don't get mad at me! I'm not trying to be a slut or anything like that, it's just hard to like two guys and I'm confused and distressed.
I figured I'll just tell Sam that I've grown feelings for him and that I'm afraid that it will interfere with my relationship with Tyler, but that's pretty weak.
And if I don't do anything, I'll just think about Sam all the time.
I don't know.
Sometimes I honestly wish I could be single.