(no subject)
something kev said earlier - 'a lot can change in two months' - got me thinking.
two months ago today, i was in the middle of what may be the last argument i'll ever have with luke. i wouldn't even have twigged that small but relatively major milestone if kev hadn't said that, and that in itself is an indicator of how much things can change; of how far i've come. [i was, at one point, counting hours.. days.. weeks..]
i spent the entirety of last term immersed in a computer game, an alternative reality which provided the background scenery for a wholly engrossing and, in that, damagingly unhealthy friendship. i allowed myself to feel so safe there, with him, that i was no longer myself in the real world; to be melodramatic, i wasn't really living, just existing - not applying myself to anything or anyone, to all intents and purposes withdrawn into my own little world. two months ago today was the turning point.
i have spent the entirety of this term trying to reverse the effects of last term, by reconciling with old friends and making new ones where possible. i had a lot of making up to do, both to old friends and to myself.
it's been quite up and down; thinking i'm getting somewhere, feelings of elation and such only to take a fall shortly after, on a semi-regular basis... but overall the past 2 months have been just.. amazing. making new friends and solidifying connections with older ones and... yeah. i honestly think i'm finally coming out the other side, not just of these two months, but of this cloud i've been living under for i couldn't even say how long...
and this isn't one of my 'i'm myself again, it's fucking fantastic' posts; i say this with a feeling of mellow satisfaction with my lot. i've spent the past few evenings at home without finding myself dwelling on.. well, anything really. or anyone... and i think that's it, y'know? that's what i've needed. peace of mind. and yeah, there've been the numerous fantastic (understatement of the century) nights with gagz et al which i'm almost honoured to be a part of, but i feel so comfortable in their company that i'm not allowing myself to think of it in that way. i am just.. loving this term. and i don't particularly want it to end.
some highlights of the past month or so :
burns night rapping [♥ julie, ben, kev ♥]
a walk in the snow [♥ mel ♥]
welsh club [♥ ben, rob, mel ♥]
kismet [these guys [♥ johnny, gagz, tanya ♥] have in fact practically made the past 2 months for me, really...]
central bar (same night) [♥ me, tanya, angharad ♥]
still central bar [♥ ben & richie ♥]
all for josh and aidan's birthday:
(♥ josh - sort of new friend)
a walk; some suspect underwear [♥ ally, rob, ben ♥]
a shoe-related calamity
group shot :-) [♥ mel, [me], ally, ben, rob ♥]
old friends out [♥ rhi, [me], cathy ♥]
for meagles' birthday :) [♥ matt dowse!, [me], wife, rhi ♥]
worcester [too many to name]
for ♥wife's♥ birthday
gagz's birthday - actually love all these guys:
♥ james ♥
♥ dale, emily, ross, tanya ♥
♥ richie and ross ♥
♥ lucy (don't know her), ♥GAGZ♥, josh, ellie ♥
♥ dale, ross, em, angharad (my loverrr) ♥
♥ ben (and me, obv..) ♥
beer festival
metros with the most fantastic people in the world.
♥ dave. love this guy... ♥
♥ ross ♥
♥ dale [latest addition to my crazy world] ♥
♥ ferdia [+drunk face from me...] ♥
♥ [me], dave, cathy, ellie ♥
and, of course, arguably the most important highlight:
tea. [i only started drinking the stuff this month.... excuse the crappy image, google wasn't playing ball!]
and those are only the bits there are photos of...
yes i am a photo whore :D
there have been other amazing evenings consisting of dodgy movies, essentially quiet nights in and spliffage and it's been just.. yeah. :)
a lot can change in two months.
the reason this is significant? that's how long ben's away for. i wonder how much will change in his absence? a pretty hopeful prospect i reckon...
.... and that's it for now :) night all.
two months ago today, i was in the middle of what may be the last argument i'll ever have with luke. i wouldn't even have twigged that small but relatively major milestone if kev hadn't said that, and that in itself is an indicator of how much things can change; of how far i've come. [i was, at one point, counting hours.. days.. weeks..]
i spent the entirety of last term immersed in a computer game, an alternative reality which provided the background scenery for a wholly engrossing and, in that, damagingly unhealthy friendship. i allowed myself to feel so safe there, with him, that i was no longer myself in the real world; to be melodramatic, i wasn't really living, just existing - not applying myself to anything or anyone, to all intents and purposes withdrawn into my own little world. two months ago today was the turning point.
i have spent the entirety of this term trying to reverse the effects of last term, by reconciling with old friends and making new ones where possible. i had a lot of making up to do, both to old friends and to myself.
it's been quite up and down; thinking i'm getting somewhere, feelings of elation and such only to take a fall shortly after, on a semi-regular basis... but overall the past 2 months have been just.. amazing. making new friends and solidifying connections with older ones and... yeah. i honestly think i'm finally coming out the other side, not just of these two months, but of this cloud i've been living under for i couldn't even say how long...
and this isn't one of my 'i'm myself again, it's fucking fantastic' posts; i say this with a feeling of mellow satisfaction with my lot. i've spent the past few evenings at home without finding myself dwelling on.. well, anything really. or anyone... and i think that's it, y'know? that's what i've needed. peace of mind. and yeah, there've been the numerous fantastic (understatement of the century) nights with gagz et al which i'm almost honoured to be a part of, but i feel so comfortable in their company that i'm not allowing myself to think of it in that way. i am just.. loving this term. and i don't particularly want it to end.
some highlights of the past month or so :
burns night rapping [♥ julie, ben, kev ♥]
a walk in the snow [♥ mel ♥]
welsh club [♥ ben, rob, mel ♥]
kismet [these guys [♥ johnny, gagz, tanya ♥] have in fact practically made the past 2 months for me, really...]
central bar (same night) [♥ me, tanya, angharad ♥]
still central bar [♥ ben & richie ♥]
all for josh and aidan's birthday:
(♥ josh - sort of new friend)
a walk; some suspect underwear [♥ ally, rob, ben ♥]
a shoe-related calamity
group shot :-) [♥ mel, [me], ally, ben, rob ♥]
old friends out [♥ rhi, [me], cathy ♥]
for meagles' birthday :) [♥ matt dowse!, [me], wife, rhi ♥]
worcester [too many to name]
for ♥wife's♥ birthday
gagz's birthday - actually love all these guys:
♥ james ♥
♥ dale, emily, ross, tanya ♥
♥ richie and ross ♥
♥ lucy (don't know her), ♥GAGZ♥, josh, ellie ♥
♥ dale, ross, em, angharad (my loverrr) ♥
♥ ben (and me, obv..) ♥
beer festival
metros with the most fantastic people in the world.
♥ dave. love this guy... ♥
♥ ross ♥
♥ dale [latest addition to my crazy world] ♥
♥ ferdia [+drunk face from me...] ♥
♥ [me], dave, cathy, ellie ♥
and, of course, arguably the most important highlight:
tea. [i only started drinking the stuff this month.... excuse the crappy image, google wasn't playing ball!]
and those are only the bits there are photos of...
yes i am a photo whore :D
there have been other amazing evenings consisting of dodgy movies, essentially quiet nights in and spliffage and it's been just.. yeah. :)
a lot can change in two months.
the reason this is significant? that's how long ben's away for. i wonder how much will change in his absence? a pretty hopeful prospect i reckon...
.... and that's it for now :) night all.