venting.
I am quite possibly going through the worst time of my life right now.
I've done something that I know I can never forgive myself for... and I'm terrified of what I see myself turning into.
I love my sisters to death but they're in their 30's and they look like porn stars. They have the most fucked up relationships and they both work at bars.. basically going no where. And I refuse to be that person.
I feel like I'm slipping into this whole different life style that I have no control over but I know this is all my doing. And things are happening so quickly.. I don't have a chance to breath.
I'm doing exactly what I wanted but I'm not so sure I can handle it.
EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED... and it's just really hard to cope.
I've lost the closest person to me, my best friend.. my life. It sucks because the one person who I can talk to openly about how I feel is the one person I have to avoid and It's the hardest thing to do.
I haven't slept in an actual bed and gotten a real nights sleep in a week. I can't sleep or eat.. my pants are falling off me.
I would love to just crawl in my room, lock the door and lay comfy and safe in my bed for as long as it takes but I can't even do that cause I don't have a room.
I'm dreading going back to the house to get the rest of my stuff. It's so unbelievably hard.
Okay. I'm done.