Santa Cruz must be DESTROYED!!!
The nineteen laws of Santa Cruz:
1) All that can be set on fire shall be smoked.
2) Everyone must listen to bad music. This may include techno, hard core punk, goth, metal, late ninties alternative, and Pink Floyd.
3) No one can listen to Dashboard Confessional.
4) Everyone must wipe their ass with Dashboard Confessional liner notes.
5) No one may eat meat of any kind, unless you are a hypocritical vegan who thinks that eating raw fish in sushi somehow does not constitute meat, even though it comes from a living fucking animal.
6) Everyone gets laid and has a girlfriend, EXCEPT people named Jacob August Beizer.
7) Rich people are evil.
8) The definition of rich is middle class white guys who wear 2 dollar thrift store t-shirts and do not have cars, do not shop at organic markets, (which, by the way, are more expensive), eats meat, and buys products made by corporations.
9) Corporations and the people who support them are evil.
10) The definition of a corporation is any company that does not make organic food, or charges incredibly low prices on basically everything in order to make living more affordable, especially for those in society who cannot afford to buy everything from a fucking organic market called New Leaf, or a CD store that charges $70 for the Star Wars trilogy on DVD. The definition of support is buying something and admitting it, whereas if you buy it and pretend you didn't, you're okay.
11) Independent stores, of any kind, are sent from God.
12) God does not exist. Ever.
13) Making money is evil. If you make money, you must give it ALL to poor people, rather than making a comfortable and healthy life for the ones you love and cherish.
14) Cutting hair is evil. Never cut your hair.
15) Never shave either.
16) Drinking excessively is encouraged, but not required.
17) If you choose not to drink excessively, or drink at all, you must accept the fact that you will be alienated from everyone who can express themselves through talking. Those of you who do not drink, report to your room immediately and remain there until you die.
18) If your name is Jacob August Beizer, you suck major ass.
19) Garden State rules above all. If you like it, you are cool, unless you are Jacob Beizer. If you are Jacob Beizer, and you like Garden State, you still suck.
Well, this is what I've gathered since I've been here.
What do you think, Olivia?
1) All that can be set on fire shall be smoked.
2) Everyone must listen to bad music. This may include techno, hard core punk, goth, metal, late ninties alternative, and Pink Floyd.
3) No one can listen to Dashboard Confessional.
4) Everyone must wipe their ass with Dashboard Confessional liner notes.
5) No one may eat meat of any kind, unless you are a hypocritical vegan who thinks that eating raw fish in sushi somehow does not constitute meat, even though it comes from a living fucking animal.
6) Everyone gets laid and has a girlfriend, EXCEPT people named Jacob August Beizer.
7) Rich people are evil.
8) The definition of rich is middle class white guys who wear 2 dollar thrift store t-shirts and do not have cars, do not shop at organic markets, (which, by the way, are more expensive), eats meat, and buys products made by corporations.
9) Corporations and the people who support them are evil.
10) The definition of a corporation is any company that does not make organic food, or charges incredibly low prices on basically everything in order to make living more affordable, especially for those in society who cannot afford to buy everything from a fucking organic market called New Leaf, or a CD store that charges $70 for the Star Wars trilogy on DVD. The definition of support is buying something and admitting it, whereas if you buy it and pretend you didn't, you're okay.
11) Independent stores, of any kind, are sent from God.
12) God does not exist. Ever.
13) Making money is evil. If you make money, you must give it ALL to poor people, rather than making a comfortable and healthy life for the ones you love and cherish.
14) Cutting hair is evil. Never cut your hair.
15) Never shave either.
16) Drinking excessively is encouraged, but not required.
17) If you choose not to drink excessively, or drink at all, you must accept the fact that you will be alienated from everyone who can express themselves through talking. Those of you who do not drink, report to your room immediately and remain there until you die.
18) If your name is Jacob August Beizer, you suck major ass.
19) Garden State rules above all. If you like it, you are cool, unless you are Jacob Beizer. If you are Jacob Beizer, and you like Garden State, you still suck.
Well, this is what I've gathered since I've been here.
What do you think, Olivia?