(no subject)
I like LiveJournal a lot, and I think I overlook it far too much. It's always a good place to rant; and its safe from prying eyes (MySpace). I'm home nice and early tonight, which is alright, considering I feel really, really, sick right now. I wish I could sleep, but I know it's not going to happen for a while.
My sister is comming for the summer pretty soon, and I'm pretty stoked about it. I miss her a whole lot, like an insane amount. When she comes were gonna fuckin' beach it up. Argh! I can't wait. There's a lot of things I feel like I can't wait for, it's a list that I seem to keep adding on to.
I was talking with this guy the other day about my life, and he told me that I'm too passive. He's just some guy, but it really got me to think about everything. I can be very passive about certain things, a lot of things actually, including the way I feel about everything. There's a lot of things I could and shouldn't have done, but I did or didn't them anyway, and I kinda just shoved how I felt about it to the back of my brain. Some things I don't ever want to think about, and I'm afraid will haunt me for a long time. I guess the best thing to do is to just start doing the right things and get prepared for the future. I still have no idea what I want to do, but I know I want to go to FSU with my sister, I think her and I shouldn't be so apart, its abnormal. I look up to her a lot. The whole situation makes me feel sad for some reason. I wish I didn't have to do this Hawaii thing all by myself, if my sister was here I'd always have someone here that's sane. I now know how much it sucks being an only child. Then I guess you can't miss what you never had.
I've been really getting into guitar lately, I just realized last night that I've been playing for over a year. This is something that I want to carry with me through my entire life. I have a really good time mixing tracks, it doesn't feel like work to me. It feels good making shit up that sounds decent, it gives me a really feeling of accomplishment. Another thing I realized last night is that if I'm actually serious about making an EP, or even possibly a full length album, it can't be covers. I mean yeah, The Light and The Glass and Junesong Provision would be on there because those are the songs I love the most and play well, but I need to make up my own shit. It's a lot harder than you would think. Making the actual music is the easy part, but sensical lyrics and ideas for songs is insanely difficult. Every idea that floats to your head seems exhaughsted and overused. I don't want to write a bunch of cliche songs that sound like anyone could have done, but songs that more utilize my better skills and are creative. The same issues arise when thinking about writing a novel. I'm just gonna keep working on both, I feel pressured to do both soon just because I'm exited to do something epic that I can call my own. It only has to be epic in my eyes, but I have really high standards about this sort of thing.
So I ended up buying Matchbook's Voices about a month ago. I usually don't buy music either, I was just super exited about their new stuff. I'm a little dissapointed though, just because it feels like they about to hop on to list of bands that sold out. I know I sound really close-minded and lame when I talk about this but it's just something else that urks me, and I'm at liberty to say what I think. It sounds good, don't get me wrong, but I don't know, I feel like I've just heard it before. After a month of listening, it's alright gotten old, as where things like Vheissu, Second Stage Turbine Blade and Matchbook's old stuff haven't gotten old and I've been listening to them for a really long time. It's just that it's not uncommon for an excellent band like them to end up in Hot Topic, and that's always dissapointing. I guess it's not really Hot Topic that pisses me off, it's more the stuff they have to sell because of thier consumer base. People with such a bad mindset about things that are so much more concerned than the next cool thing than the actual work put into making such a great thing shop there. What can you expect though, everyone wants to feel noticed. I just think that the people that buy things that say punk-rock princess or something are confined with the shackles of angsty shit that the corporations use to make money and should be liberated to a better more productive way of thinking.
Alright I'm tired and done with typing for right now. Toodles.
My sister is comming for the summer pretty soon, and I'm pretty stoked about it. I miss her a whole lot, like an insane amount. When she comes were gonna fuckin' beach it up. Argh! I can't wait. There's a lot of things I feel like I can't wait for, it's a list that I seem to keep adding on to.
I was talking with this guy the other day about my life, and he told me that I'm too passive. He's just some guy, but it really got me to think about everything. I can be very passive about certain things, a lot of things actually, including the way I feel about everything. There's a lot of things I could and shouldn't have done, but I did or didn't them anyway, and I kinda just shoved how I felt about it to the back of my brain. Some things I don't ever want to think about, and I'm afraid will haunt me for a long time. I guess the best thing to do is to just start doing the right things and get prepared for the future. I still have no idea what I want to do, but I know I want to go to FSU with my sister, I think her and I shouldn't be so apart, its abnormal. I look up to her a lot. The whole situation makes me feel sad for some reason. I wish I didn't have to do this Hawaii thing all by myself, if my sister was here I'd always have someone here that's sane. I now know how much it sucks being an only child. Then I guess you can't miss what you never had.
I've been really getting into guitar lately, I just realized last night that I've been playing for over a year. This is something that I want to carry with me through my entire life. I have a really good time mixing tracks, it doesn't feel like work to me. It feels good making shit up that sounds decent, it gives me a really feeling of accomplishment. Another thing I realized last night is that if I'm actually serious about making an EP, or even possibly a full length album, it can't be covers. I mean yeah, The Light and The Glass and Junesong Provision would be on there because those are the songs I love the most and play well, but I need to make up my own shit. It's a lot harder than you would think. Making the actual music is the easy part, but sensical lyrics and ideas for songs is insanely difficult. Every idea that floats to your head seems exhaughsted and overused. I don't want to write a bunch of cliche songs that sound like anyone could have done, but songs that more utilize my better skills and are creative. The same issues arise when thinking about writing a novel. I'm just gonna keep working on both, I feel pressured to do both soon just because I'm exited to do something epic that I can call my own. It only has to be epic in my eyes, but I have really high standards about this sort of thing.
So I ended up buying Matchbook's Voices about a month ago. I usually don't buy music either, I was just super exited about their new stuff. I'm a little dissapointed though, just because it feels like they about to hop on to list of bands that sold out. I know I sound really close-minded and lame when I talk about this but it's just something else that urks me, and I'm at liberty to say what I think. It sounds good, don't get me wrong, but I don't know, I feel like I've just heard it before. After a month of listening, it's alright gotten old, as where things like Vheissu, Second Stage Turbine Blade and Matchbook's old stuff haven't gotten old and I've been listening to them for a really long time. It's just that it's not uncommon for an excellent band like them to end up in Hot Topic, and that's always dissapointing. I guess it's not really Hot Topic that pisses me off, it's more the stuff they have to sell because of thier consumer base. People with such a bad mindset about things that are so much more concerned than the next cool thing than the actual work put into making such a great thing shop there. What can you expect though, everyone wants to feel noticed. I just think that the people that buy things that say punk-rock princess or something are confined with the shackles of angsty shit that the corporations use to make money and should be liberated to a better more productive way of thinking.
Alright I'm tired and done with typing for right now. Toodles.