(no subject)
Wasting my days with him. Feeling a bit suffocated at times, by him. He went to the rainbow gathering and I have a week to focus. Is it it bad that I still want to be single? I just can't help that I'm surrounded by hotties and especially his friend. God that man is a masterpiece. Everything, about him. I like. I hold his lighter tight. But I know things never work out. I'm still in love with tee el. It's sad, sitting here in my basement with beach house. Remembering everything we did together this time last year. Tears no longer come to my eyes. It just a choking feeling and pain in my chest. Deep breaths and a long stretch. So many men that are handsome and talented. But it just isn't te same. And I'm disappointed with myself for getting involved with someone that I avoid introducing as my boyfriend, for fear that it will wreck the possibility of me meeting the right one. Not that he exists. My new home. It's nice, I guess. No windows. No energy, too much gin last night. A week to get my head straight. What do I want?! I think I know but it's a lonely road.