Looking for two fics

[kijikun]

One was where Dean was about to kill himself after Sam goes to hell and Cas stops him.
more details - Cas traveled alot with Dean after and at one point Raphael started sending horrifying dreams to Dean in a effort to break Castiel through him.

The other is where Gabriel arranges for Cas to become a pagan god and Dean creates a ritual for him. Found! Now and Forever by amempress