talking to walls

[kiggity]

i'm at my dad's now till suday
house/ dog sitting
feels more like i'm visiting reality, or maybe Adrian is reality and this, this place where my dad lives, is something else...
I don't know....
being in this house all alone is so much different than being at my place alone.
I think differently here, my mind works .......differntly......here

whenever I'm back around town, all I want to do is see my friends, my old friends..
I need to see those who know me, who care,
it's a list that keeps growing shorter, a battel which I always seem to be fighting...

I'm hungry for good conversation, for company who actualy wants me there, and who would miss me if I were gone...
sounds so vain..
not like me.

of coures i'm finding i don't really know me any more,
well, I know someone, but it's not who i use to be....

my birthday is coming, 25

i'm not old enough to be 25
am I?

i'm not at the right place in my life to be 25.

I can't fight it though......

while i'm in town i'm going to all my doctors and getting all caught up on 'health stuff'
before my health insurance goes away on my birthday.
it's unfortunate that my health stuff doesn't include a stop at my old therapist.
I need to talk, talk to someone..
lately writing things down hasn't been enought,
I talk to my mom once a week, but there is never enough time.

got put on my thrid kind of anti depressents today.
they are "weight nuetral"
nuff said there

my dad is lucky i don't charge him for my dog care,
I do more work for his dogs here than I do at work,
I started at the Lenawee county Humane society a few weeks ago,
it's a no kill shelter, or else i wouldn't be there.
I like it, it's hard work put rewarding.

anyway,

this post proves why i don't post alot

was it good for you?