la vie

[kidpoet]

i've had the best intention of writing a post. lately, live has been the rush toward graduation. it's coming alright, and i've yet to pull things together. enough of that. so i'm 19 now. my birthday was shitty. i won't lie. practically none of my friends called me, especially a specific one who i was supposed to hang out with the weekend before, and who now doesn't answer my phone calls or messages. it was spent with three other people, two of which didn't really want to be there. some friends and i had planned to go to Richmond for dinner plans. the senior dance performance happens, the end has come. we all go out to the parking lot, and all of a sudden, John, Emilia, and Adam aren't going. none of them told me. well actually, Adam out right told me that he wasn't going anywhere we were. apparently something happened between them and Danielle, who was the ring leader of sorts. so my mom had to work, and my dad bought me a cake. and i sat home alone on my birthday, eyeing my cake. alone. crushed because, i guess i believe in humanity a little too much. so this guy came over, we hung out. he left after a while. so i always wonder around my birthday, did i do something to the world? am i an asshole? am i atrociously, disguistingly, ugly? whatever.

have you ever had a list of fuck you's? i have one right now.

dating younger is not the way to go. you end up wanting a libotomy.