The Bitch's Breaking Point
Ive always known I was lucky so far. To separate from my husband and to get to keep my house, and own it free and clear. To be able to work part time, be able to take Lol to school and be there for her when school was out and still keep the home for her and for me.
But all this was only ever until she was 19 and still in full time education and living at home. It was too good to last, but then, I always knew that the day would come. I just didnt expect it so soon.
She is now only 16, but has become increasingly unhappy at college and is now considering leaving to take on an apprenticeship. Im pleased for her, because it has become evident to me over the last year or so that she is much more of a hands-on person (like myself) than an academic. Although she would love the buzz and social life of Uni, the studying is not for her.
My problem is that, as pleased as I am that she has finally decided what is right for her, if she leaves college at the end of this year I am no longer entitled to either my tax credits nor maintenance from her father. And yet, she wont be earning enough to be able to contribute anything like enough to make up for even half of the shortfall in the household income which that will cause. I dont blame her, but...
... at that point...I can no longer afford to keep my house.
This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but it is to me.
Ive lived in this house for almost 25 years. Both my daughters were brought up in this house, mostly by me, and have never known any other home. Everything in it I chose and paid for, in one way or another. I re-designed the whole ground floor after the flood two years ago. I fought a bitter battle with my ex for it and finally traded off my future for the title to this house.
Its my home and I love it, it holds all my roots.
But Ive done the numbers. Without tax credits or maintenance, Im screwed. Even if I go full time at my job, without a large pay-rise (which is unlikely) I wont be able to afford the bills, let alone a life.
And yet, I wont let it go without a fight. If it takes a second job, Ill do it. If it takes living on pasta and rice, Ill do it.
But...Im frightened, all the same.
But all this was only ever until she was 19 and still in full time education and living at home. It was too good to last, but then, I always knew that the day would come. I just didnt expect it so soon.
She is now only 16, but has become increasingly unhappy at college and is now considering leaving to take on an apprenticeship. Im pleased for her, because it has become evident to me over the last year or so that she is much more of a hands-on person (like myself) than an academic. Although she would love the buzz and social life of Uni, the studying is not for her.
My problem is that, as pleased as I am that she has finally decided what is right for her, if she leaves college at the end of this year I am no longer entitled to either my tax credits nor maintenance from her father. And yet, she wont be earning enough to be able to contribute anything like enough to make up for even half of the shortfall in the household income which that will cause. I dont blame her, but...
... at that point...I can no longer afford to keep my house.
This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but it is to me.
Ive lived in this house for almost 25 years. Both my daughters were brought up in this house, mostly by me, and have never known any other home. Everything in it I chose and paid for, in one way or another. I re-designed the whole ground floor after the flood two years ago. I fought a bitter battle with my ex for it and finally traded off my future for the title to this house.
Its my home and I love it, it holds all my roots.
But Ive done the numbers. Without tax credits or maintenance, Im screwed. Even if I go full time at my job, without a large pay-rise (which is unlikely) I wont be able to afford the bills, let alone a life.
And yet, I wont let it go without a fight. If it takes a second job, Ill do it. If it takes living on pasta and rice, Ill do it.
But...Im frightened, all the same.