Farewell, Bert.
Last night was Bert's final night in Austin. I thought we'd spend it out somewhere, but unfortunately his host's grandmother died and so I went over to Georgetown to hang out with Bert and a cool chick friend of his. I was super tired, and it was getting late, but I wanted to spend a few more hours with him.
We spent some more time talking about our history, and how we felt about the situation. He seems disappointed in my anti-boyfriend stance, despite the fact that that isn't possible for us right now anyway. If he lived here, I might consider taking the dive again. I'm just so paranoid of repeating history again. I just don't think I'm cut out to be a LTR guy. That doesn't mean I can't be romantic and caring; it's just that I don't think I can commit to one person for the rest of my life. I sometimes think about doing the relationship thing again; but then I think about last April, and the April before that, and the thought vanishes.
This morning I kept hitting the snooze on my alarm to get more snuggle time in with Bert. I got to work about an hour later than normal, but it was well worth it, and I worked extra hours this week anyhow. I'm definitely planning on seeing him again, perhaps during his spring break. He's a wonderful guy, and I wouldn't be surprised if he landed a man before I see him again. He's definitely stirred up thoughts in my head in the few days he's been here. They'll settle back down again, though, for a few months at least.
We spent some more time talking about our history, and how we felt about the situation. He seems disappointed in my anti-boyfriend stance, despite the fact that that isn't possible for us right now anyway. If he lived here, I might consider taking the dive again. I'm just so paranoid of repeating history again. I just don't think I'm cut out to be a LTR guy. That doesn't mean I can't be romantic and caring; it's just that I don't think I can commit to one person for the rest of my life. I sometimes think about doing the relationship thing again; but then I think about last April, and the April before that, and the thought vanishes.
This morning I kept hitting the snooze on my alarm to get more snuggle time in with Bert. I got to work about an hour later than normal, but it was well worth it, and I worked extra hours this week anyhow. I'm definitely planning on seeing him again, perhaps during his spring break. He's a wonderful guy, and I wouldn't be surprised if he landed a man before I see him again. He's definitely stirred up thoughts in my head in the few days he's been here. They'll settle back down again, though, for a few months at least.