Invictus Chapter 52/59

[kibatsu]

Pink has done it again with another awesome song that fits well on the NoG/Invictus/RoS soundtrack.



“Frankenstein,” said Harry.

Tucking the book away, Severus said, “You’re finally awake.”

“I am?” asked Harry, blinking rapidly.

Reaching across the bed, Severus felt Harry’s forehead. Warm, but not beyond normal. “Your fever has broken.”

Harry’s eyes darted around the room, taking in Severus’s furnishings. “I’m in your room.”

“Both sets of your sheets are in the laundry,” explained Severus as he fetched Harry’s breakfast. “Do you feel hungry?”

“No,” said Harry.

He had to still be sick. “You should attempt to eat unless you feel nauseated.” Sweeping over, he set the bowl to the side and grabbed Harry, helping him upright. “Sit up.” Perhaps the sleeping potions he’d been feeding Harry still remained in his system because Harry could barely move on his own.

Propping Harry up with magic, he spread towels over Harry’s lap and the bedspread, then sat down and offered Harry a spoonful of oatmeal.

He’d expected Harry to try to snatch the spoon out of his hand and spill it all over himself, but Harry just lay there and opened his mouth. If he felt so ill, why didn’t he just rest? Because he was Harry, that’s why. Why take the easy path?

After Harry’d eaten half the bowl, he asked, “What's wrong with me?”

“You aren't responding as well to the treatments as you normally do,” said Severus as he scooped up another spoonful of porridge. “Based on your symptoms, I suspect a previously undiagnosed allergy weakened your immune system, causing you to be more susceptible to infection. Since I've begun treatment measures for both, you have improved considerably.” Tom had tried to escape and it had been harder to contain him. He grew in power with each passing day. Best that he not think about that now. Severus had repaired the walls, but who knew how long they’d hold?

“What about those . . . things that were inside me?” Harry shuddered at the memory.

“Nothing was put inside of you. You were fed a hallucinogenic that made you more susceptible to suggestion.”

“You're lying!” Harry clutched his stomach. “I could feel them! They were-!”

“Potter,” Severus interrupted. “It was all through the power of suggestion. I refused to allow them to actually engage in such behaviours for fear of the damage it could cause to your person."

Harry shook his head. “You can't tell me everything that happened in the throne room was fake. That girl was real, wasn't she?”

“Yes,” Severus reluctantly confirmed. “However-”

“Don't tell me she was a Death Eater they were going to kill anyway. The girl who looked like Hermione was an innocent Muggle, wasn't she?”

He should’ve known that lie would come back to haunt him. “Yes, she was.”

“Why did you lie to me?” hissed Harry.

I didn’t want to see you hurt. “I knew you would blame yourself if you knew the truth.” Since Harry wasn’t accepting any more breakfast, Severus sent the bowl away.

“It is my fault,” insisted Harry, his hands clenched.

He’d accept blame for nearly every wrong with his life if Severus let him. “Potter, for many years since before you were born, Muggles have been pulled off the streets and used for various purposes. I assure you, neither was selected simply to die by your hand.”

Harry gazed at him suspiciously. “How can you be so sure?”

“If they had chosen Muggles specifically with you in mind, I know Lucius would have taken great pleasure in bringing in girls who had some connection to you or your friends. You aren't responsible for their deaths any more than you are responsible for any other action undertaken here. The girls ultimately died to please the Dark Lord; not to torture you. It is the height of arrogance for you to believe that you are responsible for all the actions performed in the throne room. To them, you are nothing but a toy of the Dark Lord's with which they can occasionally play. There was nothing you could've done.”

Harry shook his head.

Not this again. “Listen to me!” Severus grabbed Harry’s chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. “What do you think would've happened had you not attempted to rescue her? They would've tortured her to death in front of you. Would you have preferred to see her thrown into a box of spiders, burnt until her throat gave out, given a hallucination-?”

“Stop,” begged Harry, weakly pulling away from Severus’s grip.

Severus didn’t let him go. “No, you listen. Torturing Muggles has always been a favourite pastime of Death Eaters. You have saved many Muggle lives by allowing them to use you for their entertainment. You took the torture they would've used on her. You saved her from a long, excruciating death. What will your whinging bring you? You couldn't save her, you never could. No amount of guilt will bring her back from the dead. Cast aside your guilt and train to avenge her.”

For a moment, Harry just stared at him, his eyes lost and confused, as if he couldn’t figure out how he’d ended up in this situation. Then, moisture appeared, dotting his lashes and brightening his eyes. If there had been any way to take his pain, Severus would have held it all for him, but he could do nothing to ease that hurt, so he released Harry’s chin and ordered, “Potter, concentrate on what you can do rather than what you didn’t.”

The sadness faded to anger. Glaring, Harry asked, “Did you torture Muggles with them?”

Merlin help him, he once had tortured Harry. “I have.”

Harry’s disgust mirrored his own. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Yes. I created the potion Mulciber used on you.”

“How could you?” hissed Harry. “How could you treat people like that?”

“I was angry and they were weaker than I. I did it simply because I could. That's how I know the girl's death didn't come about because of you. If you'd not been there, it would've been a Muggle mother and child, or a pair of lovers, or-”

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and Severus stopped, not wanting to add to his pain.

His voice soft, Harry asked, “And it doesn't bother you? You don't feel any guilt?”

I should have saved you. “Of course I do, but my responsibility is greater than yours. You've never killed anyone, much less an innocent.”

His lips pressed tight, Harry made a small noise of disagreement. His stubborn streak was a mile long and he’d bury himself in his guilt if Severus allowed him.

Coldly, Severus snapped, “Potter, when you've decided to end this pointless bout of self-pity, inform me.” He stood and adjusted his robes. “Until then, I have a Dark Lord I intend to vanquish which I will do with --or without-- your direct help. Once you've finished whinging and wish to return to work, rap your knuckles again the wall-”

“Wait a minute,” cried Harry. “I want to train. I want to destroy him - them - for what they did.”

Much better, but he couldn’t have Harry injuring himself. “You will train once your non-superficial injuries have-”

“Non-superficial? What's that mean exactly?”

So poorly educated. “Superficial,” he lectured, “is a term that pertains to the surface area, which in your case, would be your skin. I shall use numbing potions to prevent you or the Dark Lord from feeling pain, but I’ll purposely allow the burns on your back to heal at a slow rate. If my calculations are correct, I should be able to delay your recovery by a full week-”

“What about Malfoy?!” Harry interrupted, jerking upright. “He’s going to get me in a week! You said I’d be free in a week!”

“Calm down!” Harry would undo all the healing in one day if Severus let him. “Do you think I’ve forgotten? I must consider every variable, including that the Dark Lord might delay our plans by a few days. Lucius will wait until you have recovered. He would rather wait a week to obtain you than acquire you while you are injured.”

Suspiciously, Harry asked, “How can you be so sure?”

“I have known Lucius for longer than you've been alive. He prides himself on his possessions and he will only desire you as his personal toy while you are at the peak of health. In addition to his lack of desire to own a ‘broken’ toy, he has no inclination to play nursemaid, and the Dark Lord wishes to keep the Healers brought to you to a minimum. Finally, and most importantly, he is well aware that I have many concoctions which are harmless but would leave you feverish and weak for days, preventing him from having full enjoyment of you. He will want me to swear before the Dark Lord that you are healthy and completely recovered from any tortures before I hand you over to him.” As if I’d ever hand you over.

“Why wouldn’t he be suspicious that I'm taking so long to heal? I’m usually better in a few days.”

Hadn’t they been over this? “As I've already informed you, no one else is aware how well the potions and spells I've developed for you work. I am not a mediwizard and, with my other duties, cannot be expected to heal you as efficiently as a practitioner in the field. When one factors in the atypical spells that Mulciber used on you -- gathered from more intelligent colleagues no doubt -- it is quite impressive that I am able to heal you completely within a week’s time.”

It worked. Calmer, Harry nodded. “Right, so what can we do now?”

Do now? “Please speak clearly.”

"You said that there was work I could do. What is it?"

Pulling out his wand, Severus transfigured the bedside table into a chair and took it. Lacing his fingers in his lap, he met Harry’s eyes and stated, “As you are undoubtedly aware, unless you managed to strike your head against the tiles harder than I thought, which is very possible considering the earlier ‘conversation’ we had-”

“Just get on with it.” Harry crossed his arms.

He was fun to tease. “In order to ensure the Dark Lord's defeat, we must destroy all of his Horcruxes as well as his body. I have debated the order of destruction which would be most beneficial to us. It is highly unlikely the Dark Lord has managed to create a Horcrux of which only he is aware for the reasons I stated earlier. However, it might be prudent for us to attempt to confirm that assumption by leaving one Horcrux intact before we attack his corporeal form. If he is in fear for his body, then he might retreat and possess another one of his Horcruxes. With two souls in the same object, he will have more power and control over that Horcrux.

“Of course, upon destruction of his body, we cannot predict to which Horcrux he will retreat. If he has another outside of our knowledge, he may decide to possess that one instead of Nagini. In order to reduce this chance, I suggest that we leave Nagini alive, to be destroyed after his death. He would be a complete fool not to suspect our suspicions of Nagini and if we surround her with possible allies, he will only possess her if he has no other choice.” It was a foolish plan, but he couldn’t trust Harry’s Occlumency completely and, if this all went bullocks up, he had to leave false trails. He could only hope that Harry’s intelligence didn’t extend too far.

Unfortunately, Harry’s eyes narrowed at that announcement. “Why would he go to his Horcrux? Why wouldn't he just try doing what he did last time?”

He would. Smoothly, Severus lied, “He knows that we hunt his Horcruxes and would not want to leave the ones that remain unguarded. It is possible that he might try to rise again the same as before, but as of now, we know how he can be raised, so stopping him will be easy. I'd be very surprised if any bones remain from his father's body.” He’d ordered them destroyed by Weasley and Granger, but one could never be too cautious. The Dark Lord probably had one hidden away somewhere.

It didn’t fool Harry. “Wait, what about the Diadem? We don't even know where it is.”

Very true. “After your insistence that it was to be found in Hogwarts, I’ve been using my sources to try to ascertain the dates of the Dark Lord’s visits. I was able to confirm that the Dark Lord paid a visit to Hogwarts shortly after the Cup was removed from the vault; however, I do not know if he removed the Diadem from within the castle’s confines or merely checked to see if it had been destroyed as well. As Hogwarts is currently the most well-guarded building in the UK, possibly in all of Europe, as well as completely under his control, I would be surprised if he had taken it from its confines. Of course, we must plan for either scenario.”

“I’m sure it’s there,” said Harry with strong conviction. He slowly smiled, the grin brightening up his face and, for a moment, Severus lost himself in it. Then, Harry bolted upright and Severus grabbed his wand.

His eyes wide, Harry said, “He was going to send us there. To Hogwarts. Where his Horcrux is.”

Had he figured it out?

“That means....” Harry searched Severus’s face for confirmation. “Either he trusts us completely.... Or he isn't planning on sending us there at all."

Exactly. “That was the other reason I have planned for our escape to occur before you are delivered to Lucius.”

“Oh god,” Harry whispered. “What went wrong? Did I-?”

You were perfect. “He is as convinced of your servitude as he will ever be,” Severus reassured him. “I believe he is simply tying up loose ends. How soon he will move I cannot say, but I imagine he first wants to test Lucius as a possible future guardian. I don’t believe he will act within the week; I think it far more likely that he will find some excuse to refrain from sending either of us to Hogwarts. However, it is certainly only a matter of time.”

His hands smoothing the bedcovers around him as if they held his anxiety, Harry promised. “I won't let him kill you. I’ll get him first. I swear it.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I can save you.”

No. He’d been the cause of too much pain and hurt for Harry. He wouldn’t live to see Harry die for him. He couldn’t. It would be a fate worse than death. “You must promise me that you will focus on the Dark Lord. No matter what happens to me, you must destroy him. You may have to let me die and-”

“I couldn’t! I can’t just sit there-”

“You must! Potter...” If he had to, he would use every dirty trick he had. He would abuse and belittle Harry until the tears flowed and Harry screamed and raged against him. He would rather die by Harry’s hand than suffer through Harry’s martyrdom. If Harry had to die for the sake of the world and his own happiness, so be it. Harry would not die for him. You can’t save me. “If you throw away this plan on some desperate attempt to save me, or any other person for that matter, then he will win and all my planning will be for naught. If I do survive his initial attack, then he will surely finish me after he has finished you, and I do not want to see this plot go to shit due to your idiotic Gryffindor sense of heroics. If you deviate from your role to save anyone else, then I will strangle you myself, and if you throw it away to save me, then I will come back as a ghost and haunt you for the rest of your short, sorry life.

“And trust me, Potter,” said Severus, lunging forward so suddenly, Harry scurried to the other side of the bed. “If you thought being the Dark Lord's plaything was wretched, just try to imagine, as best you can with that feeble brain of yours, just how much more gruesome it would be to be the Dark Lord’s plaything whilst under Lucius’s control and haunted by the most vengeful ghost that ever existed. I would make your life hell far more than Lucius ever could and I’ve known Lucius long enough to know that such a claim is not stated lightly. You will spend the rest of your excruciating days wishing you had obeyed me and begging me for a mercy which will not be granted. Now promise me!”

“I promise!”

“Swear it on your mother! Swear on her grave that you will follow the plan until the very end and allow others to die if it enables you to defeat the Dark Lord!”

“I SWEAR IT!” yelled Harry.

Not enough.

“I swear it on my mother. I swear I won’t try to save you, you arsehole!” In a more sturdy voice, he added, “Or anyone else. Unless I can do it without endangering the plan.”

Good. Standing, Severus motioned for Harry to return to him. “Come here. You shouldn’t have moved so suddenly. Did you open any of your wounds?”

“I don’t think so,” said Harry with a greater measure of calm as he crawled across the bed and sat down before Severus. “If you don’t want me to move like that then don’t jump at me, you wanker.”

“It is important that you obey me,” Severus retorted as he drew his wand and cut off Harry’s bandages. “I will not have years of preparation thrown away because you decide to play the hero.”

“What happens if he kills you tomorrow? What will I do?”

Kreacher will save you. “He won't,” he promised, kneeling down to examine Harry’s stomach. “There are a few things he needs from me first.” Harry had clawed at his own abdomen, tearing flesh with his fingers in an attempt to excise the imaginary bugs. Severus had been so busy focused on restoring Harry’s mind, combating his fever, and patching up his back that he hadn’t bothered much with the broken flesh. He ran his fingers over the scratches while gently probing the skin with magic. The cuts hadn’t been deep. Healing potions would work well enough, although the Dark Lord would be less likely to bother Harry if he’d not been fully healed. “It's healing well. I may have to use potions to delay it.”

Harry pressed his hand down on the top of Severus’s head and Severus, distracted, shot an irritated glance at him. “Potter, remove your hand this instant.”

Harry obeyed, pushing back Severus’s hair. “Your hair was tickling me.”

“Tickling you?” He’d had to slice open Harry’s abdomen to feed him the potion and that scar ran deeper than the others. Already, it had started to heal. Should he use a stasis spell? Maybe he should place Harry back in a feverish state. Raising his hand to examine Harry’s heart, he shifted slightly and received a knee to his face for his efforts.

“Potter!” he growled as he jerked back.

“The spiders!” cried Harry. “They tickled me.”

He’d probably been terrified by them. Standing, Severus ordered, “Turn around and kneel on the edge of the bed.”

Harry quickly obeyed, bending his neck down. His back hadn’t fully healed, but if Severus didn’t heal it soon, it might permanently scar. Scars didn’t bother him so much as limited movement due to recently formed scars.

Harry asked, “If you're going to leave it damaged, then how will I train?”

Opening his healing salve, Severus spread it on the damaged flesh. “If your recovery continues at its current rate, then you should be able to train again tomorrow.” He might as well train Harry in useful subjects. “However, I will use different methods of training you which will be less taxing to your system. You have become quite accomplished in most of the basic tasks and we'll begin on the more advanced tasks soon, rather than wait for you to obtain mastery.”

“There's not enough time,” agreed Harry. “So what are we going to do next?”

If he failed to get the Diadem, Harry would need to. What would be most useful? What sort of traps would the Dark Lord employ knowing his Horcrux would be hunted? “We will engage in ward detection training. Based on how proficient you are with spell detection, I predict that you will be able to master ward detection in general rather swiftly; however, due to your inexperience with wards, I imagine that learning to differentiate between the types of wards will require more effort.”

“I can do it.” said Harry confidently. “If I can dodge a Muffliato then I can detect wards. Wards are stationary.”

Concentrating on rubbing the salve into Harry’s back, Severus absently said, “You will need to learn not only the major types but also the proper responses for each one, which can be quite difficult. Otherwise you will trigger them instead of slipping past them unnoticed.”

Nodding, Harry asked, “What else do you think he has guarding his Horcrux besides wards? More Inferi? Poison? If it's in the Chamber of Secrets then I need to be there, because I'm the only one besides Voldemort who can speak Parseltongue.”

Very true, but there had to be ways around that. “Perhaps a recording of your voice can be used as well. Or you could teach me the words.”

“I doubt I can just teach it to you,” scoffed Harry, “or that you could imitate it. That doesn't make a lot of sense.”

“We shall plan for all contingencies, including one where you are indisposed. If you leave, your cover will be broken. For that reason, it is best for you to remain here, at least for the time being.”

Firmly, Harry retorted, “Not if he thinks that the Order kidnapped me. He might go to Hogwarts first, but he won't stay there for long; he'd be too busy hunting them down. I bet I could get in and destroy the Horcrux before he catches any of them, especially if you warned them first. You probably wouldn't have to warn them, I mean, he's hunting them down already right? And if they were easy to catch he should've found them by now.”

Lifting his hands, Severus cleaned them, then cast. “Accio bandages. Lift your arms.” When Harry complied, Severus wrapped the bandages around Harry’s torso. “I am not in contact with the Order. Besides, he would kill me for allowing you to be freed.”

“You said that he planned to send you off to collect ingredients. Is there someone who can guard me that would leave me mostly alone?” He paused, straightened his back and said, “I'll even take Avery or Lucius, if it means we'll be rid of him.”

“No,” Severus insisted. “I won't allow it.”

Turning around, Harry met Severus’s gaze with calm, firm eyes. “I need to do this. I want to do this. Well, I choose to do this.” His eyes searched Severus’s face. “‘Neither can live while the other survives.’ Even if it wasn't a prophecy I’d still feel the same. I can take a few days of either of them if I know that he'll die sooner. I’d rather experience three days of torture knowing I’ll defeat Voldemort at the end of it than three weeks of relative peace while he’s out there, hurting people, and I could've stopped him and I didn’t.”

I know. I know. That’s why I’m helping you die. “It’s not necessary.” Severus shook his head, keeping his gaze on those gorgeous eyes. “It’s far too risky as well. Lucius would bring you to his home, from which rescue or escape would be near impossible. Avery,” he scoffed as he picked up a second set of bandages. He’d kill Harry now if it saved him from Avery. “Avery is deranged and convinced that I am allied to you. He might kill you out of devotion to the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord would surely destroy him for such a desperate act, but that would not return you to life. I’ve already planned to find someone more suitable for the position whilst I leave to hunt the Elder Wand and the last Horcrux, but you must remain here to uphold your cover.”

Setting the bandages to the side, he sealed Harry’s back. “You have nothing to fear from any other guard. They are forbidden from hurting you and sexually abusing you.”

Harry smiled softly.

Standing, Severus headed to fetch Harry’s lunch. “You should try to ingest a stronger form of nourishment before you sleep again.”

“I’m not very hungry.”

He’d never heard that from Harry before. “Not hungry?”

“Yeah.” Harry fluffed the pillows behind him. “I don't really feel much of anything. Too many drugs I guess.”

“Not enough,” countered Severus, summoning more porridge. “You always heal more quickly when you allow yourself time to sleep. Once you've finished your meal, I'll give you a redesigned sleeping potion." He transfigured a bed-tray for Harry and set down the porridge.

“Why do you insist on drugging me?” asked Harry, clumsily shoveling food into his mouth. “Why can't I just sleep when I want to sleep?”

“I've watched you strain yourself trying to perform some task of which you aren't capable, far too many times for me to allow you authority over your own care. Not to mention, I have no desire to rearrange my schedule to cater to your whims.” Folding into the chair, Severus summoned a cup of tea, watching Harry eat.

When Harry had finished eating, he leant back against the pillows and asked, “What's my reward?”

“Your reward?” Severus cleared the bed. “Do you believe you deserve a medal for finishing your meal?”

“You said that you'd give me a reward if I performed perfectly last night.”

He’d intended to free Harry. “Indeed.” He’d have to think of some other reward. “You may sleep in my bed tonight.”

“While you sleep in mine?” asked Harry, frowning.

“I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight.”

Harry crossed his arms. “You fucking me is my reward? That's your reward!”

He hadn’t intended anything of the sort. “I won't be anywhere near the bedroom!”

His voice haughty, Harry said, “You have to give me a blowjob. A blowjob and a massage.”

It took everything Severus had to not show his amusement. “You’ve become quite demanding.”

“Right, so a massage, a blowjob, and then sleeping - or not sleeping - in your bed.”

Standing, Severus marched to the edge of the bed and raised his hand. Harry’s eyes flickered over Severus’s body, lingered on the upheld hand before returning to Severus’s face. Waving the cabinet open, Severus summoned his latest creation. “My newest sleeping draught.” Severus pressed it towards Harry.

His jaw setting, Harry said, “I don't want to sleep.”

No, he wanted to run around until he dropped from exhaustion. “Hence the sleeping draught.”

“I've slept all day.”

Nearly. “Unfortunately, you've not.”

“Can't I read instead? You can brew or whatever while I read.”

“For the thousandth time, Potter, ‘may I’. How-”

Harry didn’t let him finish. “I want to read Frankenstein.”

Harry probably only wanted it because he’d seen Severus reading it. “I know it did not escape your notice that I am in the process of reading that work.”

“Fine,” muttered Harry, matching his scowl to Severus's. “Then I want to read that book.” He jabbed a finger at Roast Chicken and Other Stories.

“Very well.” Severus swept to the other side of the bed and fetched the book. “You will read this or sleep. Agreed?”

“Yeah.”

Severus tossed the book onto the bed beside Harry.

Harry slid it closer, his expression melting from obstinacy to disbelief. He picked up the book gingerly and opened it, his fingers flying through the pages as though he might find a more interesting subject later.

“The sleeping draught,” Severus smugly offered.

Glaring at Severus, Harry snatched the bottle and quaffed the draught. After he’d finished, he re-corked the bottle and pressed it back into Severus’s hand, firmly stating, “When I wake, I'm training.”

“When you wake,” agreed Severus.

His eyelids drooping, Harry rubbed against the pillows like a cat. “Don't drug me anymore. I need to train again.”

Bending over to take Harry’s pulse, Severus promised, “You will train when you have recovered.”

“Cold,” muttered Harry, his eyelashes fluttering.

Unable to resist, Severus ran his fingers across the soft, warm skin of Harry’s chest, feeling the proud heartbeat, and the slow, even breath.

Harry held his gaze and promised, “I can save you.”

I’ll save you.

Chapter 53