Paid a visit
Patience is a virtue and that is probably why I possess so little of it. While sitting in the doctor’s waiting room you have the choice of reading out of date magazines or watching the corner television that’s usually tuned into ESPN news or Barney. Rather than watch the latest scores scroll by or hear about Michael Vick and his illegal dog fighting, I chose to bring along my I-pod so I could just veg out for the next 15 minutes and not be bothered by screaming babies and Grandpa’s gastrointestinal noises.
I get called 20 minutes later, that’s an added 5 to the standard 15 minute wait if you can’t count after your ten fingers. Luckily most song increments are about 3:75 minutes long and so I was able to listen to a good half an album. When I was in the next room I thanked the nurse for wasting a small portion of my life that I could have spent masturbating. She laughed at me and took my blood pressure. Said it should be higher for someone who masturbates frequently and I told her that it’s all the pot smoking that calms me down. Then she shook her head, wrote it on my chart!1...and left the room. Some people just don’t appreciate honesty.
When the Doctor came in he read over it but didn’t mention anything. He obviously appreciates a good toke now and then. Let’s hope it’s not just before he heads into the operating room. That of course is not any worse than the guy who flies your plane failing his wiz quiz just before take off. That shit always makes me nervous.
Now it’s all bend over for a prostate exam when I thought I came in here for a cold. The doctor’s hands are freezing and he doesn’t even use the good KY. I’ll appreciate that sticky feeling when I’m older and wear diapers all day long. Prescription is rest and fluids and he writes me something up for my cough while suggesting I quit smoking…like that’ll happen. I pay him a 120$ for a pat on the shoulder and a finger up my ass. A good time is had by all. I contribute to the economy; he contributes to my need for a shower.
Quote for the day comes from Polly Walker: and remember as Atia says "large penis is always welcome"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONNE!
I get called 20 minutes later, that’s an added 5 to the standard 15 minute wait if you can’t count after your ten fingers. Luckily most song increments are about 3:75 minutes long and so I was able to listen to a good half an album. When I was in the next room I thanked the nurse for wasting a small portion of my life that I could have spent masturbating. She laughed at me and took my blood pressure. Said it should be higher for someone who masturbates frequently and I told her that it’s all the pot smoking that calms me down. Then she shook her head, wrote it on my chart!1...and left the room. Some people just don’t appreciate honesty.
When the Doctor came in he read over it but didn’t mention anything. He obviously appreciates a good toke now and then. Let’s hope it’s not just before he heads into the operating room. That of course is not any worse than the guy who flies your plane failing his wiz quiz just before take off. That shit always makes me nervous.
Now it’s all bend over for a prostate exam when I thought I came in here for a cold. The doctor’s hands are freezing and he doesn’t even use the good KY. I’ll appreciate that sticky feeling when I’m older and wear diapers all day long. Prescription is rest and fluids and he writes me something up for my cough while suggesting I quit smoking…like that’ll happen. I pay him a 120$ for a pat on the shoulder and a finger up my ass. A good time is had by all. I contribute to the economy; he contributes to my need for a shower.
Quote for the day comes from Polly Walker: and remember as Atia says "large penis is always welcome"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONNE!