None of this is congruent
I am the tortured violinist.
I am the mad-man gone astray.
I am the devil in the fire,
who dances in the fray.
I am Satan's childe.
I am the past that cannot forget.
I am little hope.
I am the maker’s one regret.
I'm in the witches place
I am held in contempt
I dream visions to perfect,
all things I am inept.
If I offered you that quizzical look do you think you'd find a way to know what I'm thinking? To answer all the questions that are in my head. Maybe you're the reason I don't want to get out of bed in the morning but I still find that I push on. I look in the mirror and sometimes I don't know who I am. There is a smile that is familiar but my skin seems so much paler than it was. Sometimes we have to step through the looking glass just to see ourselves in the reverse composition. The mirror can lie. It doesn't show what others see. Do they view us as deeply as we view ourselves or are we our worst critics? I see all the flaws and the discolorations. I see the crack in my expression. Sometimes I see you are me. People would say that that is existentialism. Everything merges into the other, we are all connected. Jude Law starred in an amusing show about it called I Heart Huckabees. (she said fuckabees) It poked fun at those kinds of beliefs yet you still walked away with a sense of what was occurring all around you and you wanted to smack yourself in the face with the big red ball just to see if you feel.
I somehow fell into a conversation about menstruation. An unfortunate and very detailed conversation with an ex girlfriend of mine. I believe there are certain things in life that men shouldn't be aware of the full details of, menses being one. That way woman can have their secret societies and handshakes. Not to mention celebrate in their rule over us men when they make us go to the store for some "feminine products." Thankfully, the conversation turned and I told her about this odd occurrence the other day. I was taking a nap and I don't even recall any actual dream that I was following but just as someone was about to wake me up I hear the voice of a teenage boy say. "FINE! I'm going to go kick some dirt into a cloud shaped like a woman. Then I'm going to molest said cloud. So don't be surprised if there's rumors about how dirty I can be." o.O This was probably a manifestation of myself in my youth. Something I’d forgotten.
Do your days ever seem unclear? Do they constantly blur into one another until you wake up one morning and you go… “Did I get the trash out on Tuesday?” Sometimes Camilla’s cat looks at me and I wonder if I’ve forgotten to feed her for days because of the glare she’s offering me but then I see how freaking fat she is and know I probably did it subconsciously. Like most of my habits lately.
The season final of Getting Away With Murder has played and at this point I don’t know when the second season will begin but I’ll keep you informed. In the meantime if you haven’t seen it or you want to watch it all over again, you should. Just don’t come telling me what an amazing actor I am (This means you Adri Lima ;) ) because changes are I wont believe you. It was fun but I’m not very confident in it yet.
I will be doing another mix -early punk and suggestions are welcome.
Thank you to the lovely woman who paid my account with no strings attached, you’re a doll.
I am the mad-man gone astray.
I am the devil in the fire,
who dances in the fray.
I am Satan's childe.
I am the past that cannot forget.
I am little hope.
I am the maker’s one regret.
I'm in the witches place
I am held in contempt
I dream visions to perfect,
all things I am inept.
If I offered you that quizzical look do you think you'd find a way to know what I'm thinking? To answer all the questions that are in my head. Maybe you're the reason I don't want to get out of bed in the morning but I still find that I push on. I look in the mirror and sometimes I don't know who I am. There is a smile that is familiar but my skin seems so much paler than it was. Sometimes we have to step through the looking glass just to see ourselves in the reverse composition. The mirror can lie. It doesn't show what others see. Do they view us as deeply as we view ourselves or are we our worst critics? I see all the flaws and the discolorations. I see the crack in my expression. Sometimes I see you are me. People would say that that is existentialism. Everything merges into the other, we are all connected. Jude Law starred in an amusing show about it called I Heart Huckabees. (she said fuckabees) It poked fun at those kinds of beliefs yet you still walked away with a sense of what was occurring all around you and you wanted to smack yourself in the face with the big red ball just to see if you feel.
I somehow fell into a conversation about menstruation. An unfortunate and very detailed conversation with an ex girlfriend of mine. I believe there are certain things in life that men shouldn't be aware of the full details of, menses being one. That way woman can have their secret societies and handshakes. Not to mention celebrate in their rule over us men when they make us go to the store for some "feminine products." Thankfully, the conversation turned and I told her about this odd occurrence the other day. I was taking a nap and I don't even recall any actual dream that I was following but just as someone was about to wake me up I hear the voice of a teenage boy say. "FINE! I'm going to go kick some dirt into a cloud shaped like a woman. Then I'm going to molest said cloud. So don't be surprised if there's rumors about how dirty I can be." o.O This was probably a manifestation of myself in my youth. Something I’d forgotten.
Do your days ever seem unclear? Do they constantly blur into one another until you wake up one morning and you go… “Did I get the trash out on Tuesday?” Sometimes Camilla’s cat looks at me and I wonder if I’ve forgotten to feed her for days because of the glare she’s offering me but then I see how freaking fat she is and know I probably did it subconsciously. Like most of my habits lately.
The season final of Getting Away With Murder has played and at this point I don’t know when the second season will begin but I’ll keep you informed. In the meantime if you haven’t seen it or you want to watch it all over again, you should. Just don’t come telling me what an amazing actor I am (This means you Adri Lima ;) ) because changes are I wont believe you. It was fun but I’m not very confident in it yet.
I will be doing another mix -early punk and suggestions are welcome.
Thank you to the lovely woman who paid my account with no strings attached, you’re a doll.