(no subject)
Thing is, people are so used to me being happy-go-lucky (even *I* am!). I don't believe it's possible to be optimistic and cheerful *all* the time, but I think that when I'm not, my friends are never sure how to deal with that. And then I feel guilty for being moochy etc without having any real impetus behind it, because it's not as if I can even expect anyone to be able to solve it. And it probably can't BE solved anyway. If anything, I'm the only one who can sort myself out...(But wouldn't it be nice to have someone do it for me...)
Perhaps citizenmeh is right and it's just because I know that this will all be ending soon and I am gradually getting more messed up about it. But then, I should be enjoying myself and making the most of this time instead of getting all paranoid about my moods...ultimately I think I am just being pathetic. How are you meant to get out of this? I'm even annoying myself.
I have plenty of fun things to look forward to, but that knowledge is coloured by the fact that they will be things that in some way mark the end of a period of my life and things won't ever go back to being the same as they are... Should I even want them to stay the same? I don't know, but what I *do* know is that some of my best experiences have been here, with people I've met in this place, and it makes me sad to think that come this summer, I mightn't see them again, certainly not in the same way that I have grown used to. I suppose I'm just scared of losing things. Losing people, more accurately.
...Right. Time to stop feeling sorry for self. Jeeeeez, I really gotta get that essay done... *headdesk* And maybe a bit of "Chico Time" will sort me out ;) X Factor Live tonight! It'll be cool to get out of the Cam bubble for a while (there I go again, contradicting myself...Saying I want to get out of Cambridge...Argh.)
Perhaps citizenmeh is right and it's just because I know that this will all be ending soon and I am gradually getting more messed up about it. But then, I should be enjoying myself and making the most of this time instead of getting all paranoid about my moods...ultimately I think I am just being pathetic. How are you meant to get out of this? I'm even annoying myself.
I have plenty of fun things to look forward to, but that knowledge is coloured by the fact that they will be things that in some way mark the end of a period of my life and things won't ever go back to being the same as they are... Should I even want them to stay the same? I don't know, but what I *do* know is that some of my best experiences have been here, with people I've met in this place, and it makes me sad to think that come this summer, I mightn't see them again, certainly not in the same way that I have grown used to. I suppose I'm just scared of losing things. Losing people, more accurately.
...Right. Time to stop feeling sorry for self. Jeeeeez, I really gotta get that essay done... *headdesk* And maybe a bit of "Chico Time" will sort me out ;) X Factor Live tonight! It'll be cool to get out of the Cam bubble for a while (there I go again, contradicting myself...Saying I want to get out of Cambridge...Argh.)