(no subject)
Between trawling the anon meme, writing for the kink meme, and uni course work I haven't been spending much time reading fic -naturally first thing I do after this hiatus is visit FF.net (and am somehow surprised that I become overwhelmed with crap.)
Next I binge gender swap fic due to complete lack of sense of self-preservation.
I assure everyone it sounded like a fabulous idea at the time.
Now for the actual rant bit; if it's just a female version of the original and not some 'turn-character-into-a-female-supermodel' spell, I highly doubt Vexen will be a DD; nor will Lexaeus be some stick-thin pretty girl with the muscle mass of a wafer.
Various members could be attractive as a female, however just as most of the organization are not conventionally pretty as men -they probably aren't going to be conventionally pretty as women.
Face it, Xigbar is old -he is not going to be some perky-breasted teenage girl with porcelain skin.
Now even if they were turned female by some super-model-spell-freak-accident, this would not completely erase their personalities nor would all of their colleagues be immediately desperate to sleep with them without significant explanation. If they are, particularly if they are all aware of the change, why has no one even considered appealing to the interests of the original and instead all make use of caveman tactics and piss-poor attempts at appealing to a very generic female and expecting the previously male character to fawn all over them.
I won't even begin to describe what's wrong with the blushing, giggling and desire to shop despite being uninterested in the afore mentioned specifically because he was once male and stated to be still thinking as one. Especially when this is occurring in Larxene and Namine as well with no conceivable explanation other than all women apparently act like this.
By this point I believe the authors should just go write that self insert they are so desperate to write.
tl;dr: Not all women act the same, not all men act the same and just changing gender should not wipe all characterisation and features that make them them.
After this entirely mind numbing exercise in futility I stop by a badfic I've read before that just updated.
Different rant entirely:
Tip: When all the characters in your fic sound the same you may want to revise.
Fan author, it's hard, but not impossible. Your Xigbar should not sound like your Vexen (unless for mocking), your Demyx should not be indistinguishable from your Zexion and so forth.
When all the characters sound the same you'll find your story gets very bland.
When using a point of view, give hints of the character in your narration -when writing from more than one point of view not all of them should sound exactly the same as your usual literacy style.
Not everyone will call eyes 'orbs', not everyone will describe events the same way.
Woobie-battered-spouse!Vexen and abusive-drunk!Luxord should not describe the same story in the exact same way, and quite probably not refer to their eyes as 'my jade-green/ice-blue orbs'.
On the other hand, given the grievous characterisation rape I'm sure I don't want to know.
Given the title, 'By The Way, I Don't Wanna Know', author clearly loses no points for false advertising.
tl;dr: Not everyone speaks/thinks purple prose and stop writing battered-spouses claiming to be Vexen.
Next I binge gender swap fic due to complete lack of sense of self-preservation.
I assure everyone it sounded like a fabulous idea at the time.
Now for the actual rant bit; if it's just a female version of the original and not some 'turn-character-into-a-female-supermodel' spell, I highly doubt Vexen will be a DD; nor will Lexaeus be some stick-thin pretty girl with the muscle mass of a wafer.
Various members could be attractive as a female, however just as most of the organization are not conventionally pretty as men -they probably aren't going to be conventionally pretty as women.
Face it, Xigbar is old -he is not going to be some perky-breasted teenage girl with porcelain skin.
Now even if they were turned female by some super-model-spell-freak-accident, this would not completely erase their personalities nor would all of their colleagues be immediately desperate to sleep with them without significant explanation. If they are, particularly if they are all aware of the change, why has no one even considered appealing to the interests of the original and instead all make use of caveman tactics and piss-poor attempts at appealing to a very generic female and expecting the previously male character to fawn all over them.
I won't even begin to describe what's wrong with the blushing, giggling and desire to shop despite being uninterested in the afore mentioned specifically because he was once male and stated to be still thinking as one. Especially when this is occurring in Larxene and Namine as well with no conceivable explanation other than all women apparently act like this.
By this point I believe the authors should just go write that self insert they are so desperate to write.
tl;dr: Not all women act the same, not all men act the same and just changing gender should not wipe all characterisation and features that make them them.
After this entirely mind numbing exercise in futility I stop by a badfic I've read before that just updated.
Different rant entirely:
Tip: When all the characters in your fic sound the same you may want to revise.
Fan author, it's hard, but not impossible. Your Xigbar should not sound like your Vexen (unless for mocking), your Demyx should not be indistinguishable from your Zexion and so forth.
When all the characters sound the same you'll find your story gets very bland.
When using a point of view, give hints of the character in your narration -when writing from more than one point of view not all of them should sound exactly the same as your usual literacy style.
Not everyone will call eyes 'orbs', not everyone will describe events the same way.
Woobie-battered-spouse!Vexen and abusive-drunk!Luxord should not describe the same story in the exact same way, and quite probably not refer to their eyes as 'my jade-green/ice-blue orbs'.
On the other hand, given the grievous characterisation rape I'm sure I don't want to know.
Given the title, 'By The Way, I Don't Wanna Know', author clearly loses no points for false advertising.
tl;dr: Not everyone speaks/thinks purple prose and stop writing battered-spouses claiming to be Vexen.