First post~
Dealing with a very specific fanauthor here,
Okay, you. I respect that you've stuck with your fic for seventy chapters. That's a feat, yeah, and it's great. You're a decent writer, random capitalizations aside.
Firstly, you're writing a Sue. That's okay, we all start off with Sues -- well, those of us who write first and read second, anyway. I know I started off writing a Sue, so I'm not gonna say you're a mean awful horrible person even if you are older than me and need to be writing original fiction, if you're THAT attached to your girl, even though you say in your first chapter that your chick ain't a Sue. Great, that was a nice big tip-off, because the first step is generally denial.
The second nice big tip-off was that your girl looks exactly like Sora. And later it's ohmigosh revealed!!one! that she's Sora's long-lost twin sister. Who had an extremely angsty past. I'll give you points for sticking Laguna in her party -- I haven't seen anyone else make the jumps from Sora's sibling to Leon's sibling to Laguna's daughter and then have the guy actually be part of the main group.
I left a few reviews, and you and I started talking on AIM. Which was great, and got me into my first RP, and introduced me to a lot of things. Like NaNoWriMo and MUCKs and other useful things. I'm grateful, really I am.
But see, one day, you mentioned that pairing Riku with your little Sue would be cute. It would add to the angst! (And really, what is with your obsession with angst? You like, PILE it on all the characters.) Oh, and your Sue also wields the keyblade. Well. That's great for her. She's also got a Nobody, and the head bad guy (also an OC, and he made her life terrible when they were ickle kiddies) has an obsession with her. Mmhm, alright, whatever. I've started just skimming your chapters anyway.
But, see, then you killed Yuffie off.
No, wait, correction: you asked me to beta a chapter in which you killed Yuffie off. I spotted some typos, some awkward wordings, and...well...that. Not that I couldn't guess it. You've got a thing against Yuffie, and you've been honest about it. I mean, she obviously sucks, because she stole all your materia in FF7. Right.
So, I read through, blah blah blah, and IM you the corrections I would make. Commas where periods should be and vice versa, some genuine typos, a few grammatical errors, etc. Nothing very horrific, most of it I wouldn't have caught unless I was looking. But that's a beta's job, right? To look for that stuff?
So when I tell you that, please don't tell me that you did some of that intentionally. That "correctness sometimes obscures the true meaning." And for the love of Kingdom Hearts, don't include an example where you explicitly state that your readers didn't get your awesome punningness this one time. 'Cause, if your readers don't get it and they're not being dumbasses? UR DOIN IT WRONG.
Look, I understand. ee cummings was a genius. i love his Poetry, really i do i especially love )how he uses punctuation.( God, that hurt. I'M SORRY FOR BUTCHERING YOUR STYLE, MR. CUMMINGS SIR. And puns are awesome, as are double entendres. But. You are not Cummings, you are not Shakespeare, you are not even Piers Anthony. You don't get to do it like that.
In short: you fail, your Sue fails, and Yuffie wins OVER NINE THOUSAND awesome points for getting out of your fic. I'm really tempted to spork it with her, too.
Really regretting that first review,
Me
Okay, you. I respect that you've stuck with your fic for seventy chapters. That's a feat, yeah, and it's great. You're a decent writer, random capitalizations aside.
Firstly, you're writing a Sue. That's okay, we all start off with Sues -- well, those of us who write first and read second, anyway. I know I started off writing a Sue, so I'm not gonna say you're a mean awful horrible person even if you are older than me and need to be writing original fiction, if you're THAT attached to your girl, even though you say in your first chapter that your chick ain't a Sue. Great, that was a nice big tip-off, because the first step is generally denial.
The second nice big tip-off was that your girl looks exactly like Sora. And later it's ohmigosh revealed!!one! that she's Sora's long-lost twin sister. Who had an extremely angsty past. I'll give you points for sticking Laguna in her party -- I haven't seen anyone else make the jumps from Sora's sibling to Leon's sibling to Laguna's daughter and then have the guy actually be part of the main group.
I left a few reviews, and you and I started talking on AIM. Which was great, and got me into my first RP, and introduced me to a lot of things. Like NaNoWriMo and MUCKs and other useful things. I'm grateful, really I am.
But see, one day, you mentioned that pairing Riku with your little Sue would be cute. It would add to the angst! (And really, what is with your obsession with angst? You like, PILE it on all the characters.) Oh, and your Sue also wields the keyblade. Well. That's great for her. She's also got a Nobody, and the head bad guy (also an OC, and he made her life terrible when they were ickle kiddies) has an obsession with her. Mmhm, alright, whatever. I've started just skimming your chapters anyway.
But, see, then you killed Yuffie off.
No, wait, correction: you asked me to beta a chapter in which you killed Yuffie off. I spotted some typos, some awkward wordings, and...well...that. Not that I couldn't guess it. You've got a thing against Yuffie, and you've been honest about it. I mean, she obviously sucks, because she stole all your materia in FF7. Right.
So, I read through, blah blah blah, and IM you the corrections I would make. Commas where periods should be and vice versa, some genuine typos, a few grammatical errors, etc. Nothing very horrific, most of it I wouldn't have caught unless I was looking. But that's a beta's job, right? To look for that stuff?
So when I tell you that, please don't tell me that you did some of that intentionally. That "correctness sometimes obscures the true meaning." And for the love of Kingdom Hearts, don't include an example where you explicitly state that your readers didn't get your awesome punningness this one time. 'Cause, if your readers don't get it and they're not being dumbasses? UR DOIN IT WRONG.
Look, I understand. ee cummings was a genius. i love his Poetry, really i do i especially love )how he uses punctuation.( God, that hurt. I'M SORRY FOR BUTCHERING YOUR STYLE, MR. CUMMINGS SIR. And puns are awesome, as are double entendres. But. You are not Cummings, you are not Shakespeare, you are not even Piers Anthony. You don't get to do it like that.
In short: you fail, your Sue fails, and Yuffie wins OVER NINE THOUSAND awesome points for getting out of your fic. I'm really tempted to spork it with her, too.
Really regretting that first review,
Me