Comments | khfanficrants: Kingdom Hearts 73X2!!!! lawl

____ero__sennin in khfanficrants

Kingdom Hearts 73X2!!!! lawl

Nov 27, 2006 17:14

Okay, Kingdom Hearts adventure fics? Make me sad. And I have a few bones to pick.

1. CAPSLOCK OF RAGE Riku is not any better than CAPSLOCK OF RAGE Harry Potter. I do give you props for having Riku's mom exist in fic. You then lose credit, though, by trying to put JENOVA into KH. Which, when you look at Sephiroth's canon existence, wouldn't make ( Read more... )

mary sue, keyblade, crossovers, kairi, final fantasy

Comments 71

amslizrah November 27 2006, 18:29:16 UTC

...wouldn't the "darkest color of silver" be a really dark gray? As for the "slathering of 97 enemies" bit, I keep envisioning Kairi with a butter knife and a tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter...That's all just too surreal to be believed. It must be a troll. It MUST. *curls up in a ball*

____ero__sennin November 27 2006, 19:27:00 UTC

No, the darkest color of silver is shinier. See, that makes it cool.

And now I have an image of Kairi yelling, "Eat low cholestoral, forces of darkness!" while Sora and Riku just gawk in the background.

I'm really hoping troll. I shall watch this fic with much interest.

lynxgriffin November 27 2006, 19:19:04 UTC

This entire paragraph made me lawl really hard.

It could sparkle in the moonlight and could be seen from a zillion light years away.

GEE WILLIKERS, A ZILLION?!?!

It could slather 97 enemies in her most powerful attack, called star maximum.

Star Maximum is actually her favorite barbecue sauce!

You could glide on it for miles in the sky

Now I'm just picturing Kairi surfing across the universe on a sparkly DARK GRAY Keyblade, or riding it like a witch's broom or something, and it's hilarious.

and could also shoot stars out of her key blade 2,352 feet.

That's the most random number ever. Why not A ZILLION?!?!?!

____ero__sennin November 27 2006, 19:30:31 UTC

GEE WILLIKERS, A ZILLION?!?!

Why yes, Jimmy, a ZILLION. That's more than the commies that will come and kill you if you don't buy war bonds! [/60s announcer voice]

Star Maximum is actually her favorite barbecue sauce!

Try new STAR MAXIMUM barbecue sauce! STAR MAXIMUM; a supernova of flavor. IN YOUR MOUTH!

Now I'm just picturing Kairi surfing across the universe on a sparkly DARK GRAY Keyblade, or riding it like a witch's broom or something, and it's hilarious.

See, Keyblade surfing? Would be hilariously fun in-game, I will admit. But in a really cheesy way, that makes it completely inappropriate when you don't get to appreciate it yourself.

That's the most random number ever. Why not A ZILLION?!?!?!

Or a ZILLION.....AND ONE?

ryuuzoku_aya November 27 2006, 20:33:40 UTC

Dangit, now I'm hungry for some BBQ.

held November 27 2006, 19:46:10 UTC

GOD WHY CAN'T PEOPLE LEAVE MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER ALONE LKSMDF god kairi mary sue? why have i never ever seen people portray kairi in a good light? D: { okay that's a lie. i've seen some awesome kairi's and they made me sparkle with glee. }

why did CAPS LOCK RAGE riku and harry potter make me laugh so hard. XD

____ero__sennin November 27 2006, 19:59:05 UTC

Kairi is so abused D: Poor, poor girl.

Because CAPS LOCK OF RAGE Riku and Harry Potter are funny :D OMGtheirloveissoCAPSLOCK.

sparkism November 27 2006, 19:49:00 UTC

1. CAPSLOCK OF RAGE Riku is not any better than CAPSLOCK OF RAGE Harry Potter.

:roffle:
Oh gawds, I love you so much. xD
And...you're quite right. That keyblade description is...special. Haha.

____ero__sennin November 27 2006, 19:59:56 UTC

:D *loved*

I dunno if special quite covers it, really.

oblivilynn November 27 2006, 20:08:05 UTC

You throw Vincent in for no good reason and have him suddenly macking on some KH pretty boy and expect it to be all roses.

You have no idea how mad that makes me. I love the idea of integrating Vincent into the KH-verse, seeing as they originally were going to include him in Cloud's place. Totally not counting the fact that Vincent/Leon is one of my many closet crack!OTPs. But seriously, there's a good way and a bad way to do this.

Good way? Don't have it be so flashy. Maybe Sora encounters him in one of the worlds. Maybe Cloud convinces/persuades Hades to resurrect him - but for a price! (Oh noes, plot!) Maybe Leon finds him half-dead in one of the canyons/craters/ravines/other geological features in Radiant Garden, and it turns out that Vincent has no idea where the hell he is because the demons in his head are messing up his thoughts and they need to help him and... yeah. :D

Bad way? "Vincent appeared in a burst of light. Leon stared. Vincent stared back. A connection forged between them and they instantly fell in ( ... )

____ero__sennin November 28 2006, 00:30:45 UTC

Bad way? "Vincent appeared in a burst of light. Leon stared. Vincent stared back. A connection forged between them and they instantly fell in love. Vincent pulled Leon closer, kissing him forcefully, tongue delving into his mouth. And Leon, having lost his spine completely and thus reverted to FF8!Squall's persona, had a lot of inner-monologue that was completely irrelevant to the current situation. And then they had magical, true love-inducing buttsex. The end!"

That? That just made me laugh. A lot. Win to you.

But yeah, FF characters are better slipped in as cameo players. Or, villains. But permanent heroes and romantic interests? It usually just ends up too messy. Not to say you can't, but...I'd really like to see more Vincent fighting along the Gargoyles than Vincent having magical buttsex. Really. And now I want to write Vincent into my Gargoyles world whut.

And I kinda want to read one of these threesomes just to see what it's like. But it also frightens me. So.

oblivilynn November 28 2006, 01:26:12 UTC

I try. xDD The sad thing is that I've actually seen stories that do just that. It's terrible.

There's a depressing lack of action!fic in this fandom. I would love a dark, action-filled Kingdom Hearts story. Lots of blood, broken bones, and mass carnage all around. Kind of like Saïx's personal fantasies, you know? Lots of tragedy and death, maybe a bit of romance, but all around a TON of action.

Extra points for including Vincent and having him go head-to-head with Xigbar in a massive shoot-out. (Though, I have no idea how that would happen, seeing as Xigbar has, um, kicked the bucket, shall we say?)

...It's never going to happen, is it? D:

Tread carefully. xD Try to find one that has decent writing, I guess? That should limit the amount of brain-breakage.

____ero__sennin November 28 2006, 02:11:36 UTC

Mm. I am not at all surprised by that.

I would love something like that. And while there's a part of me that goes "Kingdom Hearts = Poofs of dark ooze, not blood," another part goes "God damn, that Oblivion would tear a person's scalp open." Which it really, really would. So, yeah.

...That actually sounds beyond awesome, so I might just have to figure out a way to make it work. Somehow.

I will be careful! *salute*

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