New Gallade Porn
Since there is an insanely ridiculous amount of pron centered around Gallade, I feel like I should split my adult-themed posts into new and old....meaning content that has come out since I first became interested in this character a little over a year ago, and content that precedes all that. This is the post that will constantly be updating, although it's not impossible I should update the old post because even though I've looked hard and heavy, I might not have seen it all. Just recently, I found something to put in that post. Anyway....
Evil Pokemon seek to corrupt our hero...but wait. Isn't that a picture of himself he just saw in there dressed like a French Maid?!
You are not soyboy. You are Chad. You are GigaChad. (Someone told him he exists to be the bottom in gay pron).
This is why there is so much gallade pron. If you look at Pixiv unfiltered at any given time, this is the percentage of gardevoir fan art that is porn. At all times. Now I'm as much of a crusty, dirty cumbrain as the next person, but this disturbs me, just because it's a weird thing to sexualize. It's a frequent topic of discussion when we're having circle time over on the gardevoir fanboi discord.
An artist just recently uploaded a gallade/infernape drawing. Same artist also drew his sister saying, "Cease and desist with the gay shit. CEASE!!"
There will be no escape from Gardevoir's dynamax tiddies.
....and another:
Some bondage...I think? It was from a comic written in Japanese where it looked like a gallade with a strong sense of justice was suckered into aiding a 'damsel in distress' gardevoir (male?) who pulled a dirty trick on him. He ended up tied up and befouled.
Male gardevoir would make a better transvestite, but to each his own....
Is he convincing enough? It doesn't seem to matter to whomever those bedroom eyes are directed at.
A performer who is sure to earn many princess keys in Pokemon pageants.
This next gardevoir didn't want to be the damsel in distress (maybe because it's a dude). Everybody gets knocked out all around.
Maybe he's about to die....
....or maybe he'll be like someone's furry cosplay character gallade and become a bdsm slave. LOL!
More bondage that someone might have paid real money to an artist on DA for.
OMG, new porn on Twitter. Not only is there a crazy lot of Gallade, but artfags will make new stuff ev'ry so often. This is what happens when you give a gallade ten dynamax candies, then level him up to 100 all at once. He's like, "I've never felt this damn good...."
It's a gallade, considered a great beauty among the fairy folk. He came from fairy stock but has the sturdy, muscular body of a fighter. Anyone who gazes upon his loveliness won't be able to help but to instantly climax over and over, covering him with semen from head to toe before they are even properly introduced. Unfortunately for this individual, a gallade also has powerful extrasensory abilities, and his ability to understand the thoughts of others has forced his body to respond automatically..out of empathy. Here he stands with the most ferocious boner he has ever experienced, and he's very embarrassed by the whole situation..
Gallade got the cream pie tag for this series (for getting a cream filling and layer of frosting, I suppose). I omitted a panel because it looked like the artist had copied it right from an irl gay porno. All three Pokemon had huge, human-looking bodies and huge thighs, even though the tapu koko is like a wooden bird totem shell that opens up into a genderless blob inside...like a distorted clam. Latios is a male-only character that looks like a cross between an anthro passenger plane and killer whale.
The next one made me srsly look up on Google to see if it was even possible to stick two separate dicks in one butt. I'm not even joking. I looked it up and saw caps of irl examples, but it still comes across so awkward af that it's beyond belief. I'd imagine that after the two legendaries had their way with him, they'd have to slap his cheeks, splash some water on his face a few times and then try to get him to chew a revival herb. When he'd finally come to, they'd introduce themselves, beg his pardon for not being more concerned about his pleasure, and then explain they got carried away because they never thought they'd ever get to violently rape a gallade. Usually they are shy and stay hidden. Gallade would avert his eyes and think, Sheez...I come down for a quick pee, and this happens!
Is this like the equivalent of sticking ones head in the lions jaws? Someone is playing a stupid game and might win a stupid prize. Just eeease that pointy thing away from the junk before sexually assaulting your gallade. This artist has put up porn almost every day, and this next one is gallade (4). Maybe by the end of the month, we'll be seeing gallade (32), lol! Someday I should get in on this art faggotry, but my drawings would be more into romance, similar to what I did with the Brothers of Light.
Another gallade being assaulted by what's supposed to be an amorphous genderless ghost type called marshadow. After what this individual has been through, being thrown into an awkward submissive position and foot fondled might come across as a kindness.
A series of well-drawn (and adorable) blue lewds.
Next one was called, "Nothing to do." Frustrated guy doesn't have anyone around to help him with that either...plus no thumbs. Damn Covid-19 quarantines! Oh well, at least he has some entertainment.
What's the matter, Gallade? You shy around big girls?
Male trapdevoir jokes around about using draining kiss/attract/hypnosis on Our Hero, but he be like, "No no...I'm a holy crusader knight, and it goes against my religion to do the gay shit and have sex before holy matrimony...thank you very much!
-To which the gardevoir replies, "Don't be a homophobic bigot! Transwomen ARE real women, so it's not really gay. Plus I'm already in my wedding dress, so we can get married right now, u big silly!"
Gallade thinks about it for a second...then thinks some more. Finally, he says, "Well....I guess it's alright..."
-And that, my friends, is the most politically correct thing I'll ever write in my blog. During their wedding, Gardevoir pulls a Bisky from Hunter X Hunter and bulks up a bit...except 'she' is an actual dude.
The above bro-trannie and the two following are only uncensored on someone's patreon. I'm one of the few who would actually want to see pron of these characters, yet I've never spent money on a patreon in my life. The viewer must use his/her imagination.
Poor guy's whole family abusing him. I didn't include the last of a ralts putting a ball gag on him (or maybe it was more Covid-19 mask bullshit, idk...). Why you want to do the brave boi that way?! It might not hurt as much as it looks. I head-canon that gallade is vaguely insectoid as almost a 'third' type (the way gardevoir is vaguely ghost-like but not ghost type). The colored parts on his head-piece and upper body could be like a protective carapace.
A presumably Japanese artist put up new stuff just yesterday. I like the hot take of submissive gallade, but they could have made him enjoy himself a bit more. It looks more like they just got done wrapping up a movie in Uncle Garde's Puzzle basement, and it's now molestin' time (in two different colors for one instance). I know the Japanese like blushing and tears, but the submissive guy looks like he's darting his eyes around looking for an escape route.
I hope the artist finishes some of these because there isn't a lot of mega porn. There's an overabundance of mega romantic dancing because of the whole 'knight and his lady' theme, but not a lot of pron. I'm actually surprised by it, like one would think there'd be more if people were that into the mega form ship, but it must depend on if one is a male who likes this ship or a female.
Back to regular forms. The artist should make them mega in the finished pieces as well (although some might be too lazy to incorporate the cape, lol!)
What am I looking at?! Why did I include this?!
First instance of incest I've seen between the two. It makes me wonder if I put siblings in Pokemon daycare...would they make an egg? I'm not that involved in the game to find out. I'm posting this because I like the style, and it's the only version of gallade this artist has drawn that's actually male. They've drawn a heckin' lot of huge tiddie females, and I have to ask.....how far into wanting to bang a gallade were they before they decided he'd look better with gigantic boobs? There are A LOT of artists who really want him to be female lately.
It isn't even the incest that bothers me about this next one. It's that some lazy coomer drew them bright white and didn't bother with their mega accents. Also....dat impossible pose. I mean, imagine you are having sex like that. Would you even be able to move? How does the garde like having that chest piece digging into her back? The more I look at this, the more I imagine the gardevoir's voice sounding like an indignant Bianca from Beverly Hills Teens while my guy sounds like the most passive male ever, speaking in a tired whisper. That would turn this into peak comedy.
Here's another one. Give us some arm blades, cape, or at least those two extra lines on his helmet. Great dad bod though. Another artist on Tumble managed to give him a dad bod plus accents. They must not be a lazy coomer.
An artist put a bit more effort into this mega. I'm wondering what the person who commissioned this was going for? Maybe they wanted the garde to let the gallade be Big Spoon for once. The best he could do was to halfway mega evolve, then get down into a submissive position like a pansy while the garde used his willy like a dildo while he lied sprawled in a most awkward position. I like how the artist worked his hip disk in there somewhat.
I can't tell if the gardevoir is female or the guy from my favorite meme. After all, they're about the same size, and I can't tell if the dick is going into a female part or a butt. The genitalia is ambiguous.
They both don't know what they're doing, and the gallade thinks the ladies are the ones with the daintier penises. Lately, a lot has come out where the girly gallade looks nervous...as if he's going to lose hit points from the encounter. Is it possible to use draining kiss on a dick? I wish artists would stop giving him a huge ass. He's based off a red spider lily. Let him have a hip disk. It doesn't even have to make sense, although the default explanation could always be that females find a bulbous waist attractive. There are plenty of ridiculous males irl because a female found something silly to be hot during a pivotal point in evolution.
A female gallade where the artist kept the face exactly like cannon. I like it. Usually they give her hair and feminized features.
My great grandparents going at it. Most lewds are of males banging gardevoirs, which according to Pokemon breeding standards, will result in baby ralts, as offspring always takes after the mother. This woman will pop out human babies.
Gallade's eyes look like the standard Pokemon who has fainted or is about to. I don't understand Japanese, but maybe his hit points are dropping after every thrust, and the woman is saying, "You'd better shoot your load before you bottom out, Mr. Man!"
Somebody actually paid money and commissioned this fake news piece about Gardevoir's micro penis.
Worst pc hire EVAR.
Someone into lesbian nuns (main characters are a female gardevoir nun and a mewtwo 'chick with a dick' nun) decided to make a few about corrupted fem boy gallades. This has been popular lately, prob because of the thicc booty potential. The panels read up to down, left to right. I'm used to left to right, then up to down. I'm wondering if it won't end up too well for those guys because the creepy funeral dress gardevoir (the artist forgot her little devil horns) might be having a few drinks before deciding to kill them. I was tickled to see that the first two had the whole 'leaves flying around from their supernatural aura' theme. I'll let any readers in on a little secret... *whispers* I actually like that kind of thing better than the pron..
Hot take: It's opposite world. Creepy Funeral Dress Gardevoir is really a convincing trannie who thinks her favorite knights are a bit too upright and sanctimonious, so she sends them off to the dirty convent where Sister Mary Fuck and Sister Mary Hot-to-Trot will loosen them up a bit. When he....she hadn't counted on was that it would take 2 1/2 years to break the good Captain. The red gallade kept checking on him every couple of months, and that was the first time he got his dick sucked in all that time. Don't worry. They'll still be bros.
I'm dying over how they couldn't have gotten the captain cleaned up a bit before presenting him to the queen. Surely she didn't want to see him in the nun getup? -Or maybe she did? Gardevoir drinks because now she's worried they'll be no good as knights after that work over. Add to that, but it would be disappointing to see that her finest Captain has a little dick, whereas the subordinate is hung like that mudsdale. Oh well, it's not the size; it's what one does with it. One more thing...mega has been around since 2014. Why did it take this long for someone to think to turn him into a trannie naughty nun themed prostitute? *slams fist* IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!1!!1!
If an artist was trying to troll me personally, they couldn't possibly come up with anything worse than the following two. First one was gigantism pron found on FA (damn furries, srsly) of enormouly fat mega with two dicks and detailed shot of his sphinxter (which looks large enough to be a portal to Hades).
I heavily cropped the following because it's literally drawn kiddie slash of Wally looking like he's about ten screwing another ten year old 'chick with a dick' trainer with a gengar, while Gallade humps his leg (prob because the gengar is hot. It is in his amorphous breeding pool after all). I imagine that if Wally's Gallade ever encountered one of the artists who does underaged Wally porn, then he'd knee-jerk let out an eldritch screech and instantly hack them to pieces. Wally would stand there stunned covered in arterial spray with that shy bimbo look on his face they always draw him with. Finally, he'd say, "Gee wizz buddy...what was that all about?!" His gallade would reply, You'll have to trust me on this one. I found out via telepathy that they were thinking some NOT NICE thoughts about you..
In the world of Pokemon, there are a lot of trainers walking around with gardevoirs and gallades that never seem to see action on the battle arena. What's up with that?!
Okay, so someone recently did a piece that's as bad as it gets. Octillery got the surprise of his life. When he tentacle-rapes a 'mon, he expects them to be quivering with horror. The green guy, otoh, immediately popped a boner because he's a slut.
About this next one I wrote in my regular LJ: I'll never get jaded so long as there's internet. I know I'll always be able to find something even stupider to laugh at than the last stupid thing that I thought was the funniest yet most retarded thing I'd ever see. I found a hetero cartoon to add to my Gallade porn post featuring a hideous noivern with a bleach blonde Snooki style beehive weave. The piece is called, "Huge Tiddy Goth Noivern GF". (Pfft..) One can't even see the gallade's face..just the big girlie hips and ding dong going into a female part. Noivern is a retard in the anime who goes around bowling people over. I'd imagine after the gallade catches his breath, he'd have a look of relief on his face, like, "YET ANOTHER time I thought I was getting ate and instead made out like a bandit." I'm still getting that Washington visitor, so I'll upload it to my collection for their benefit. I'd link to the original, but to see pron on FA, one needs a password strength equal to what I had to create to access documents on the IRS webpage after applying for my current mortgage. I srsly wonder...how many family members and coworkers (among others) have been stalking me long enough to see my fabulous porn post?
Furaffinity gem found sifting all the inflation porn. Jynx knows sweet kiss, lovely kiss, lick and draining kiss through a TM. Those will (in order) confuse, make drowsy, paralyze and drain ones life energy. My guy looks like he's getting all of those, plus positional asphyxia from dat gigantic booty. Once again, he probably thinks he's going to be eaten, but instead, he's saved by sex. The only time he actually did get eaten in someone's twisted fantasy, I imagined that he wouldn't sink so low as to bang a muk and would rather suffer the horror of toxic oblivion.
He's glassy-eyed and panting with pleasure because it must feel amazing to have hitmonlee's willie almost up to his heart.
He can't even get jerked off without a small pearl of a tear forming in his eye. Of course, it might just be haterenne giving him the creeps. I didn't realize this until just recently, but haterenne is supposed to be a giant-headed gremlin with a little teeny shriveled up vestigal body hanging off its neck. It only looks tall and voluptuous because its abundant hair creates that illusion.
The brave boi isn't cut out for a life of crime....unless it's prostitution.
We all know the Brothers of Light share the greatest love story between two brothers, but the greatest love story of all time in general has to be scizor x gallade. Well, it would be if that blue gallade wasn't really terrified and worried scizor is about to eat him. It's classic big guy on little guy, as according to the video game stats, scizor has seven inches and about 150lbs on gallade. Imagine if such a thing existed in this world where people get freaked out over little bitty spiders.
Gallade looking like he can't move because that thing is steel and weighs 150lbs more than he does..and it's probably going to bite his head off any second now.
The next one has scizor trying to mate with a slack-jawed limp gallade who's in shock wondering what he's waiting for because he's been gnawing on his ear and tasting him for an hour. I shouldn't be so shallow. Maybe scizor is a stand-up insectoid. There was another one on pixiv of a smooch that startled my guy awake. It was really sweet. The only thing that would be sweeter is if I redid the drawing with the Cult Twins.
Awkward sex scene where gallade gets drilled from behind. It's a good ship because scizor does it for him, but the artist needs to watch some irl porn to see how semen works. I sure do. *wink*
I totally wished someone would make a detailed diagram explaining how bug-sex works (plus gallade's awkward anatomy)....but dammit! It's all in Japanese!
Called 'you've got a naughty body' in Japanese, and it's supposed to be bondage. One thing I've noticed looking at so much Japanese porn on Pixiv is that they accurately get the facial expressions of what someone getting plowed in the ass would look like for real. Everyone else draws ecstatic expressions, but the Japanese fans draw tears and agony.
As we know by now, our guy is in the amorphous egg group, as well as the human-like egg group. My guess is that he'd prefer to stick with his own kind because every match up with a ghost type is going to go down similar to a story found on AO3 pairing him with a chandelure, which is a haunted chandelier.
Summary:
As her fire envelops him, and takes him away from the clutches of the world, his mind turns blank. How did the two of them end up in such a place, basking at the warmth of one another? When did her golden eyes became so enticing?
"I am everything you feel; everything you hear". And so he sinks, in marvel at her voice, and in marvel at the way she makes him feel under her ghostly embrace.
Story:
The sky remains bright, its light finds its way to every nook and crevasse, and yet Lev the Gallade shows a noticeable look of concern. Crossing his arms and taking a look at the sunset-colored sky above, he manages to sigh softly enough not to be heard, but to ease himself a little. Behind him is North, the Chandelure, looking at him with a look of curiosity and apparent calmness that contrasts with the anxiety that slips through Lev's composure, and hovering like a protector -or maybe a hunter- beside the psychic/fighting pokemon without an apparent care.
And the thing is: the two've been lost for a while. In the middle of a dense -and told to be cursed- forest, silence governs over the dimming light, enveloping the wanderers with an aura of uncertainty. Separated from their trainer and fellow companions, Lev and North find themselves going in circles within the confines of this evidently haunted place.
The Gallade is annoyed, to say the least. Not only because he's trapped, lost and is wasting time wandering, but because for the many hours that they've been lost, he's been the only one making an effort to get out in the first place. He's aware that the forest itself is not convoluted enough to keep them from escaping, so he can only assume that the many ghost pokemon that live there are enjoying themselves by practicing their illusions on them. He knows that North herself is capable of overcoming the illusions, he knows that she's strong enough, and yet… she keeps herself at a distance, blindly following the upset knightly psychic type. Silent and eerie, she maintains a calm look of curiosity that always manages to creep him out, for he never knows what's beyond her attentive, golden eyes.
“North.” He calls her after a sudden stop, breaking the lingering silence that kept them company. With a look of hurry and mixed annoyance, he peeks over his shoulder only to face an unreadable Chandelure that is effectively there, being creepy as usual. She barely moves, tilts her body slightly to the side -maybe as a way to assure him of her awareness- but stays quiet, calm, and barely there.
“What are we going to do now? Are you just going to keep following me and do nothing?” He waits for a bit, expecting her to grace him with a monosyllable, at least. When she doesn't, he decides to turn and face her, positioning his body in a threatening pose.
“What are you doing, North? I know you can take us out, I know you can help, but you just don't. What do you want? What are you scheming?” His voice, a little strong, disturbs the atmosphere that surrounds them both. North doesn't answer- she never does, always staying firm and detached, no matter his words.
“Will you answer m-!”
“Hush.”
His words are cut short by a telepathic clash inside his head; one that always manages to shake him to the bone. He's known North for many years, almost since he was born, and from that point until now he hasn't managed to shake the primal fear that she installs upon him. He's always been scared of her: her countenance, her quietness, her assertiveness, her eeriness, and even her voice, which somehow manages to overwhelm him in its simplicity. She always barely speaks, but when she does, everybody listens. Even him, despite his apparent bravado, is always thrown out of balance by her. Her effects are fascinating, in a way.
And so he trembles, taking a few steps back as soon she decides to hover closer to him. There are no threats in her body language, but her very presence is unnerving. She's definitely aware of the effect that she has over Lev, though.
“Stay put. You will be safe. You are with me. I will keep you safe.”
Her voice is hauntingly sweet, and strangely calm. It sounds wicked to him, worrying and reassuring at the same time. The way her voice tickles his nape makes him shake a bit, but his annoyance helps him keep his composure.
“…Will you lead us out someday? I know you can, you just choose not to.” He tries to be kind, and stay calm.
“The night is near. Stay with me, just for tonight.” She answers while getting even closer, cornering him against a tree.
“Stay… here? Do you want to stay here?” He peeks at the darkening sky, and then at the foggy forest that exalts the shine of her spiritual fire. “Are you comfortable?” He smiles, anxiously. “You probably feel at ease in here, huh?”
She just stares.
“Ah um… I don't. I'd rather be out here, if you don’t mind.” He looks away and scratches his head.
“I will keep you safe.” Her answer is brief, and a little bit concerning.
“I know! I… I know.” He lashes a bit, turning towards her again. “I don't want to be protected, you know. I'd much rather be… the protector… of you. Maybe. But I don't know anything about this place, and Morgana is probably worried so…”
“Morgana.” She interrupts, encouraged by the mention of their trainer. “She knows. She knows that I will keep you safe. She trusts me, and you should trust me.”
Backed up against a tree and with lady-eeriness hovering so close to his face, he only manages to offer a nervous chuckle to her. “I'm not used to your definition of assurance, you know. I can't read your intentions.”
“I have never hurt you. You should know- I never would.”
“Yes, but still…” He finds some strength to build up his rage, if only a little. “What do you want, North?! Why are you doing this? What's the point? Do you want to scare me? Teach me a lesson? What is it?!”
She backs up a bit, and then stays quiet.
“Forget it. Just leave me alone, then. I'll eventually figure the way out of here.” He pushes himself to one side, attempting to get away from her. He doesn't manage to go very far, however.
“You will not. You need me.” She states, noticing the way his body trembles at the sound of her.
“… And you won't help me. What's the point then?”
She tries to close the distance between them. Slowly, calmly. He doesn't notice it at first. “Stay. With me. Be calm. You are not alone.”
A look of confusion obscures his features. “If you want to stay, then fine. Why do I have to stay, though? You don't even speak to me. You don't need me.”
“I need you. I want you. Lev.”
Then horror gets drawn in his face. The forest is cold, but his body feels even colder. “Um, what?” She never calls him by his name, and her wording is incredibly creepy, to say the least. “Wha- what do you mean, North? You don't- um…” He has no idea what's going on.
“Hush.” Again, his helpless self can't help but obey her hushing. “The light of me will shine brighter with the warmth of you. The path will show itself by then. Offer your soul. To me.”
An unknown pushiness envelops her voice in a way he had never felt before. She gets closer, but he's terrified; her sudden movement causes him to flinch and lose his balance, making him fall into the cold grass beneath him. “You said… you wouldn't hurt me. Morgana trusts you… won't.”
“And I will not.” She asserts with a cold voice. “I will let you out of here. I will set you free. You just have to submit. To me.”
He backs up a bit, crawling backwards while she keeps intent on getting closer. “Um… could you elaborate… then?” The hole in his stomach makes him instantly regret his question.
“Do not resist me. Do not get away from me. All you have is to do is submit.”
He stops on his tracks. “Ah- okay?” But it's hard to do so. He has no idea what he's signing up for.
She hums, content. Her real voice is beautiful, if unnatural. Soft like a chime; a bit like a guiding light. If she weren't so creepy, he would like it. And yet, as he is gently eased by her lovely voice, and being hypnotized in his tracks without noticing, she suddenly disappears from sight. She vanishes; just like that.
“North…?”
He frantically looks around, but she doesn't let him panic for long. Soon enough, he starts feeling the chilling warmth of her blue fire at his back, and his whole sight turns blue from the light.
“Hush.” She is fond of that. “Be quiet. Stay still. Do not fear me. Just lay, stay calm, with me. My voice is everything you hear.” She speaks true, for in that closeness, all he hears is her strong telepathic voice, and the delicate hum of her true voice. Somehow, enveloped in the warmth of her fiery soul, he melts.
And she does as she pleases. She presses herself against his back, marveling at the faint touch of his physical body and her incorporeal one, while her flames grow and envelop him in a ghostly embrace. She closes her eyes and just stays there for a little while, gesturing in a way that seems… loving, somehow.
“North, do you… what are you doing?” Why is she acting so… weirdly? He cannot begin to grasp her intent. And he's comfortable, strangely enough, warming himself up with her spiritual fire.
“I think you know.” Her voice turns so soft, she surprises him a bit. “I love you. I want you. Just this time.”
“WHAT?!” He recoils and panics, and then tries to frantically get away. He's powerless though; trapped in that ring of fire that burns his soul… and perhaps his body too.
“Do not leave. If you want, I will let you go. But stay; I will please you.”
Surprisingly… he doesn't keep pushing. Instead, he slowly but surely accommodates himself beside her just like he was mere moments before, and as soon as he does, she sighs in satisfaction and closes her eyes. His shaking, however, can't be ignored.
“North.” He blushes. “Do you mean… what I think you mean?”
“What do I mean?” She speaks in her commonly mischievous, overbearing tone.
“Come on…” He's frightened, but doesn't reject her. Despite her composure, she is joyful because of that.
“I want to touch you. Will you let me?”
He blushes harder, subconsciously coiling himself. His arms wrap over his torso, he bends his legs towards himself, and looks away. Despite the lovely warmth surrounding him, he trembles. “You're touching me already… what more do you want?”
“Your heat.”
“…Huh?” He genuinely didn't catch that.
“I want your heat. You are cold- that will not do.”
Well, that managed to heat up his face, alright. “Ah! Um… but your flames are warm. It's fine. You don't have to warm me up, really!” He laughs nervously, flinching as soon as he catches her opening eyes.
“You… do not like me?”
His heart skips a beat. “Um, what?”
“You do not want me?”
“North!” He cuts her with his voice, turning himself a bit to the side in order to face her better. “You're being… unfair. You give me no warnings whatsoever. I don't even know what you mean, most of the time.” He elevates his arms in an attempt to cup her head… though his attempts are mainly fruitless, considering her incorporeal being.
She doesn't emote, but her eyes shine brightly because she knows that he… he's not rejecting her. Not really. “Stay calm. Trust me. I will please you… if you let me.” And then she pushes a bit, connecting the front part of her face against his. Was that a kiss?
“Hey North, you know I… I won't run away. I trust you, it's just that… you aren't being clear about what you want, what you expect from me, and what you actually want to… do.”
He has never despised North, but still, he finds himself perplexed by his compliance. Isn't she the creepy Chandelure that always looms close? Isn't she the frightening ghost that only talks in order to hush and scare both him and the rest of the team? And most importantly: Isn't she the one that just minutes before was making him shake to the bone? Then… why? Why is he that comfortable? Why is she being… enticing? A part of him wants to run away, but her voice is feeling so lovely inside his head…
Answering him, she hovers as close as she can, and then she whispers in her real voice, hoping to thrill his sensitive ears. “I want. I want to touch you all over. I want to heat you up, and make you feed my fire with your seed. I expect your submissiveness; your helplessness, your moans, and I want you to…” she covers her voice with tingling distortion, just like a ghost type would. “Hush!”
And so, he petrifies; overwhelmed by his confusion and the weirdest arousal he'll ever experience.
“Am I clear now?” She returns to speaking inside his head, coating her words with a whimsical playfulness that arouses him even more. His legs recoil more in a weak attempt to hide his growing erection, but as always, she's delightfully aware of the way his body answers to her. He's always been so tame, so vulnerable… there's nothing she wants more than to take Lev's seed a million times.
She's in heat, indeed. She'd never say it, though.
“Clear, as a- ah!” He can't help but shy away at the strange feeling of… something, making its way all over his body. He takes a look at North and notices that her eyes are closed, but her body is unmoving. It's strange to think that a being resembling a chandelier could ever move in a way that could… please him, but it seems that she's not relying on the parts of her that everybody can see. It's incredibly creepy, but so it is in a way that both petrifies him and turns him into mush at the same time.
And so, her something starts caressing his skin, traversing with love and care thorough every single nook of his own self. She's not being lewd; she's not touching him there… though he seals his lips, basking on the shameful realization that he'd actually want her to touch his raging erection. He tenses up at the feel of ghostly tendrils heating him up and chilling him at the same time, accompanied by the unbearable feeling of her feminine hum cracking inside his skull.
“N- North…!”
“Stay calm. You will find release if you are patient.” Her blue fire then starts growing, causing him to scream quite suddenly. His shriek corrodes the eerie atmosphere of the forest, but while being inside the circling ritual fire, his distress gets completely muffled. He is helpless, vulnerable, subject to the Chandelure's whims and desires, and if she wishes to burn him, she will. And if she wishes to hurt him, she will. He knows… and still, he trusts; he knows that all she wants to do is… love him, somehow.
And he knows, because her fire burns his body in the most delightful way possible. He shouts out of surprise, because of the rushing heat, but not out of pain, for his most intimate parts swell and twitch at the feverish dream her light is subjecting him through. And in this dream he wonders, for he knows there's no physical body that could envelop him and make him suffer lust like a ghost' would; like this ghost' would.
He feels dirty, amused and weirded out, for a Chandelure's body is everything but alluring. Not in a million years would he have thought to feel this way at the mercy of North, and yet there he was; moaning out of the many feelings that concentrate in his cock and his throat, the last one which coils at the vibrations caused by her chiming hum.
And he wonders… is this foreplay, or the real thing? He really can't imagine… no; the thought of actually breeding with North is way too eldritch for his mind. Fortunately, the sensation of profound pleasure that sheathes his dick is enough to keep his mind blank. And yet, he feels a bit uncomfortable… and a bit curious as well.
“North, and… what about you?” He manages to vocalize despite the fact that there's not a single crevasse of his body uncovered by the fiery pleasure of her incomprehensible caress.
“Me?” Her echoing voice is embellished with genuine wonder, he notes. She stops for a moment right then, and because of it, he ends up silently cursing himself, for he wants everything but the cease of her fondling. Perhaps she stopped on purpose? He wouldn't put it beneath her.
“Yeah um… maybe there's a way I can return the favor?” He squirms a little bit, aching for her.
“You will breed me.” The way she speaks never ceases to make him gasp, certainly. “Pay no mind to the things you do not understand.”
He ponders whether to stay quiet, but his uneasiness stays palpable enough for him to continue inquiring despite knowing that this madness is something he's just supposed to experience for the sake of her.
And she hasn't resumed her loving touch, anyway.
“But… how do I know then? If I'm pleasing you, I mean. How do I know if you ever… want more of me?”
She stays quiet for a second, and then the fondling suddenly resumes. He gasps out of surprise and pleasure while drowning himself into limbs he can't see.
“Are you asking me to vocalize more?” She states, blatant and matter-of-factly.
“Well, yeah, that would hel- ah!” He screams when he starts feeling the warmth of her fire enveloping his shaft and pumping it with abandon, whichever the heck way she can. She's barely started to masturbate him again and yet he feels almost on the edge, but not because of the touch itself. No; the reason he feels like he's about to burst is because she took his request to heart, and is now making him suffer with a spooky choir of both her physical and telepathic voice moaning both beside and inside his head. Her chime-like sounds and feminine sweetness are enough to drive him mad.
“Wait-! North! Don't! I'm about to… !” He squirms, tension building up from his very core and traversing through his body in a way that feels like lighting bolts.
“Do it. Breed me.”
And she only needs to ask, apparently, for as soon as she ended her phrase, Lev found himself shouting away the powerful orgasm that overcame his overstimulated body. He closes his eyes by then and focuses on enjoying every pulse that comes from between his legs; a feeling only exacerbated by sensing her blue flames answering to every throb with a rhythmic warmth of their own. She holds his convulsing body in place, and when the thrill finally starts to recede, the fire starts embracing him right there.
“North, I'm… !” He gasps as soon as he opens his eyes, for he expected to see a big mess of cum both on top of his body and on the grassy floor, but there is… none. Not a single trace of his peak is left anywhere, and that freaks him out. Absolutely.
“Your warmth. It embraces my soul. It feeds my flames, my desire, and will make me cradle a new life. Thank you, Lev. My Gallade.” She then closes her eyes, rubbing her head against his in a manner so kind, one could say is even loving. He has no idea what happened, what's happening, nor what will happen, but the thought of seeing North not only lay an egg, but lay an egg that also belongs to him, weirds him enough to make his head explode. He's happy, however, in a way that he can't explain. The confusion keeps him from answering, though.
And then her flames start to subside, letting him take a new look at the forest that stayed away from their lovemaking. He turns to look up and blinks a few times after he notices that the light has returned to the sky, signalling a particularly long session that definitely didn't feel that long.
The backing of her flames gives him more control over his body, but he shows soon enough that he's not in the mood to leave her side. At all. “I loved this. I loved you.” He confesses not so shamelessly, for there is a small blush tinting his cheeks. “I had no idea you were this wonderful.” He tries to cup her head and kiss her just in the middle spot between her eyes and the flame above her head, but the motion results more like a memento due to her ghostly nature. Soon enough the forest stops feeling eerie, cold and uncertain, and more like a place fit for the growth of life. It's amazing, really.
And so she looks at him intently- silent, creepy, just as she's always been. He smiles while looking into her golden eyes and simply stays there, sitting on the grass and admiring her.
The sound of rushed footsteps and a voice going along with them breaks his trance, however.
“North! Lev! There you are!” A familiar feminine voice brings a little life to the forest, and also makes them both turn at the same time. It's their trainer, Morgana, breathlessly running towards them while waving her right arm above her head.
Lev lets go of North as soon as he sees her, beaming and standing up quickly enough to start waving back before Morgana reaches the place where they are. She catches her breath for a few seconds before standing tall again, a great joy drawn in her face.
“I'm glad to see you both! I see that you're fine, despite being here for so long. I was a little worried, you know!” Her semblance betrays her seemingly carefree attitude, since her skin is slightly pale and her eyes have bags under them. She was probably worried sick, and that realization makes Lev's heart sink. Her beaming voice didn't dare to show it though, and soon enough he gets distracted by the sight of the human reaching out to North with her arms outstretched; a sight very similar to his when he attempted to cup her head. “Oh, but I knew everything would turn out alright! You protected Lev, didn't you, North? You always do.” North simply hovers and chimes around her in response, making Morgana chuckle.
“Well, it's time we went back to town. Come along, you two.” The trainer simply starts walking towards a known path, with North trailing along. Lev, however, stays put for a few seconds, since his mind is still kind of overwhelmed by everything that happened.
His face reveals a little distress. What will happen now, considering that North is possibly pregnant? What will Morgana and the rest of the team think as soon as she lays her egg? Will they put two and two together, and suspect his involvement? Thankfully their baby will be a litwick, because if they were a ralts…
“Lev, are you okay?”
He is thrown away from his thoughts by two pairs of concerned eyes, though only Morgana's truly are, for North's are as obscure as they've always been. He shakes his head and rushes towards them in response, all as a way to reassure the human, though despite everything, he does notice a change within North's semblance. As she silently looks at him sideways, he perceives her expression as being… more alive.
And she has no need to talk to him through his mind. He sees her eyes, and knows exactly what she wants to say. That little word that reminds him that everything has changed, and yet at the same time nothing has changed at all.
“Hush.”
Found an image that goes with the above story on accident looking through the gallade tag on Tumblr. This expresses the mood perfectly.
Japanese kid on Twitter drawing my favorite pairing doing a bit of naughty role playing:
Dark energy (oh my, look at the time *cue rapin' time clock*):
Moar bondage, yay!
Now for my *other* favorite awkward pairing. It's been slow for gallade porn lately (surprise) so I'm just posting a bit of suggestion with our hero possibly using Dream Eater on a bisharp. It's a psychic attack used when a Pokemon is asleep to drain their energy. On Tumblr, someone called used this idea and made it not fun. Why do people
This ship first shown in the old porn post didn't turn out so well. The artist lost interest for the most part, but he/she uploads some ev'ry so often on Twitter. -Seems that the blue guy is mostly abusive towards the green who seethes with resentment.
Someone elses art of green done per artist's request.
Two lifelong friend gallades being gay with each other. Besides that one other artist discussed above, there's not many that ship gallade-on-gallade.
*looks uncomfortable* Wait a minute....what are you doing?! I'm only supposed to use that with a female in Pokemon daycare!
I have never laughed so hard over something so stupid in my life. The little frownie-face peeking out makes it. It must suck not being an apex predator and having so many things bigger than him. If the image wasn't enough, someone left a description in the comments that was as follows: Nidoqueen- *Pressing her foot on the Gallade's crotch* Poor boy, never stood a chance against us~
Rhydon- *Relaxing her full weight on his face, slowly wiggling her booty* We're gonna have lots of fun today.
Gallade- *Trying to push Rhydon off his face* MMMPPHH!!
Right after I saw this, I got a call from a Jehovah's Witness, and I was so full of mirth, I actually let him give me his spiel and direct me to his website. I was still wiping tears. The only related thing that was almost that funny was on FA when someone uploaded arts of gallade blasting a huge fart cloud. Then someone on DA did one better. They drew an enormously fat gardevoir with a gallade standing in her fart cloud behind her back with an expression of ecstasy on his face. Weirdos be into a fetish, but I laughed like a pre-schooler. That poor guy will have to drag his sorry ass back into a tree and think about being more careful coming down next time. -Or if they break both his arms stepping on them, he'll have to lie at the side of a heavily traveled human path and hope some kind person would come along and carry him to a Pokemon center.
Another scenario...gone wrong? He pretends to be shocked, but he bangs trapdevoir all the time.
Meet Rinto. He managed to form a deep psychic bond with a gallade while also managing to be a douchebag. I lol-ed when he told Ash he had to 'learn to fight in unison with Farfetch'd'...as if it's possible for Ash to have the same sort of relationship with a duck that he has with a psychic. I thought it was interesting he's the only character with oddly illuminated pupils. Hopefully he gets more episodes. Here's some fan art that looks like a lewd, as if they're 'Netflix and chilling' while he shows him what flexible human hands can do.
Rinto's Gallade shows us how it feels to have a Heart of Justice.
Here's our hero being a whore in the actual anime. It's now canon. Damn...he loses one fight and assumes the position
-And finally, here's a pin-up of mega in an absol costume. It's the kind of exotic underwear a guy wears when he's in the amorphous egg group...compatible to breeding with all sorts of creepy ghosts and demon witches.
Evil Pokemon seek to corrupt our hero...but wait. Isn't that a picture of himself he just saw in there dressed like a French Maid?!
You are not soyboy. You are Chad. You are GigaChad. (Someone told him he exists to be the bottom in gay pron).
This is why there is so much gallade pron. If you look at Pixiv unfiltered at any given time, this is the percentage of gardevoir fan art that is porn. At all times. Now I'm as much of a crusty, dirty cumbrain as the next person, but this disturbs me, just because it's a weird thing to sexualize. It's a frequent topic of discussion when we're having circle time over on the gardevoir fanboi discord.
An artist just recently uploaded a gallade/infernape drawing. Same artist also drew his sister saying, "Cease and desist with the gay shit. CEASE!!"
There will be no escape from Gardevoir's dynamax tiddies.
....and another:
Some bondage...I think? It was from a comic written in Japanese where it looked like a gallade with a strong sense of justice was suckered into aiding a 'damsel in distress' gardevoir (male?) who pulled a dirty trick on him. He ended up tied up and befouled.
Male gardevoir would make a better transvestite, but to each his own....
Is he convincing enough? It doesn't seem to matter to whomever those bedroom eyes are directed at.
A performer who is sure to earn many princess keys in Pokemon pageants.
This next gardevoir didn't want to be the damsel in distress (maybe because it's a dude). Everybody gets knocked out all around.
Maybe he's about to die....
....or maybe he'll be like someone's furry cosplay character gallade and become a bdsm slave. LOL!
More bondage that someone might have paid real money to an artist on DA for.
OMG, new porn on Twitter. Not only is there a crazy lot of Gallade, but artfags will make new stuff ev'ry so often. This is what happens when you give a gallade ten dynamax candies, then level him up to 100 all at once. He's like, "I've never felt this damn good...."
It's a gallade, considered a great beauty among the fairy folk. He came from fairy stock but has the sturdy, muscular body of a fighter. Anyone who gazes upon his loveliness won't be able to help but to instantly climax over and over, covering him with semen from head to toe before they are even properly introduced. Unfortunately for this individual, a gallade also has powerful extrasensory abilities, and his ability to understand the thoughts of others has forced his body to respond automatically..out of empathy. Here he stands with the most ferocious boner he has ever experienced, and he's very embarrassed by the whole situation..
Gallade got the cream pie tag for this series (for getting a cream filling and layer of frosting, I suppose). I omitted a panel because it looked like the artist had copied it right from an irl gay porno. All three Pokemon had huge, human-looking bodies and huge thighs, even though the tapu koko is like a wooden bird totem shell that opens up into a genderless blob inside...like a distorted clam. Latios is a male-only character that looks like a cross between an anthro passenger plane and killer whale.
The next one made me srsly look up on Google to see if it was even possible to stick two separate dicks in one butt. I'm not even joking. I looked it up and saw caps of irl examples, but it still comes across so awkward af that it's beyond belief. I'd imagine that after the two legendaries had their way with him, they'd have to slap his cheeks, splash some water on his face a few times and then try to get him to chew a revival herb. When he'd finally come to, they'd introduce themselves, beg his pardon for not being more concerned about his pleasure, and then explain they got carried away because they never thought they'd ever get to violently rape a gallade. Usually they are shy and stay hidden. Gallade would avert his eyes and think, Sheez...I come down for a quick pee, and this happens!
Is this like the equivalent of sticking ones head in the lions jaws? Someone is playing a stupid game and might win a stupid prize. Just eeease that pointy thing away from the junk before sexually assaulting your gallade. This artist has put up porn almost every day, and this next one is gallade (4). Maybe by the end of the month, we'll be seeing gallade (32), lol! Someday I should get in on this art faggotry, but my drawings would be more into romance, similar to what I did with the Brothers of Light.
Another gallade being assaulted by what's supposed to be an amorphous genderless ghost type called marshadow. After what this individual has been through, being thrown into an awkward submissive position and foot fondled might come across as a kindness.
A series of well-drawn (and adorable) blue lewds.
Next one was called, "Nothing to do." Frustrated guy doesn't have anyone around to help him with that either...plus no thumbs. Damn Covid-19 quarantines! Oh well, at least he has some entertainment.
What's the matter, Gallade? You shy around big girls?
Male trapdevoir jokes around about using draining kiss/attract/hypnosis on Our Hero, but he be like, "No no...I'm a holy crusader knight, and it goes against my religion to do the gay shit and have sex before holy matrimony...thank you very much!
-To which the gardevoir replies, "Don't be a homophobic bigot! Transwomen ARE real women, so it's not really gay. Plus I'm already in my wedding dress, so we can get married right now, u big silly!"
Gallade thinks about it for a second...then thinks some more. Finally, he says, "Well....I guess it's alright..."
-And that, my friends, is the most politically correct thing I'll ever write in my blog. During their wedding, Gardevoir pulls a Bisky from Hunter X Hunter and bulks up a bit...except 'she' is an actual dude.
The above bro-trannie and the two following are only uncensored on someone's patreon. I'm one of the few who would actually want to see pron of these characters, yet I've never spent money on a patreon in my life. The viewer must use his/her imagination.
Poor guy's whole family abusing him. I didn't include the last of a ralts putting a ball gag on him (or maybe it was more Covid-19 mask bullshit, idk...). Why you want to do the brave boi that way?! It might not hurt as much as it looks. I head-canon that gallade is vaguely insectoid as almost a 'third' type (the way gardevoir is vaguely ghost-like but not ghost type). The colored parts on his head-piece and upper body could be like a protective carapace.
A presumably Japanese artist put up new stuff just yesterday. I like the hot take of submissive gallade, but they could have made him enjoy himself a bit more. It looks more like they just got done wrapping up a movie in Uncle Garde's Puzzle basement, and it's now molestin' time (in two different colors for one instance). I know the Japanese like blushing and tears, but the submissive guy looks like he's darting his eyes around looking for an escape route.
I hope the artist finishes some of these because there isn't a lot of mega porn. There's an overabundance of mega romantic dancing because of the whole 'knight and his lady' theme, but not a lot of pron. I'm actually surprised by it, like one would think there'd be more if people were that into the mega form ship, but it must depend on if one is a male who likes this ship or a female.
Back to regular forms. The artist should make them mega in the finished pieces as well (although some might be too lazy to incorporate the cape, lol!)
What am I looking at?! Why did I include this?!
First instance of incest I've seen between the two. It makes me wonder if I put siblings in Pokemon daycare...would they make an egg? I'm not that involved in the game to find out. I'm posting this because I like the style, and it's the only version of gallade this artist has drawn that's actually male. They've drawn a heckin' lot of huge tiddie females, and I have to ask.....how far into wanting to bang a gallade were they before they decided he'd look better with gigantic boobs? There are A LOT of artists who really want him to be female lately.
It isn't even the incest that bothers me about this next one. It's that some lazy coomer drew them bright white and didn't bother with their mega accents. Also....dat impossible pose. I mean, imagine you are having sex like that. Would you even be able to move? How does the garde like having that chest piece digging into her back? The more I look at this, the more I imagine the gardevoir's voice sounding like an indignant Bianca from Beverly Hills Teens while my guy sounds like the most passive male ever, speaking in a tired whisper. That would turn this into peak comedy.
Here's another one. Give us some arm blades, cape, or at least those two extra lines on his helmet. Great dad bod though. Another artist on Tumble managed to give him a dad bod plus accents. They must not be a lazy coomer.
An artist put a bit more effort into this mega. I'm wondering what the person who commissioned this was going for? Maybe they wanted the garde to let the gallade be Big Spoon for once. The best he could do was to halfway mega evolve, then get down into a submissive position like a pansy while the garde used his willy like a dildo while he lied sprawled in a most awkward position. I like how the artist worked his hip disk in there somewhat.
I can't tell if the gardevoir is female or the guy from my favorite meme. After all, they're about the same size, and I can't tell if the dick is going into a female part or a butt. The genitalia is ambiguous.
They both don't know what they're doing, and the gallade thinks the ladies are the ones with the daintier penises. Lately, a lot has come out where the girly gallade looks nervous...as if he's going to lose hit points from the encounter. Is it possible to use draining kiss on a dick? I wish artists would stop giving him a huge ass. He's based off a red spider lily. Let him have a hip disk. It doesn't even have to make sense, although the default explanation could always be that females find a bulbous waist attractive. There are plenty of ridiculous males irl because a female found something silly to be hot during a pivotal point in evolution.
A female gallade where the artist kept the face exactly like cannon. I like it. Usually they give her hair and feminized features.
My great grandparents going at it. Most lewds are of males banging gardevoirs, which according to Pokemon breeding standards, will result in baby ralts, as offspring always takes after the mother. This woman will pop out human babies.
Gallade's eyes look like the standard Pokemon who has fainted or is about to. I don't understand Japanese, but maybe his hit points are dropping after every thrust, and the woman is saying, "You'd better shoot your load before you bottom out, Mr. Man!"
Somebody actually paid money and commissioned this fake news piece about Gardevoir's micro penis.
Worst pc hire EVAR.
Someone into lesbian nuns (main characters are a female gardevoir nun and a mewtwo 'chick with a dick' nun) decided to make a few about corrupted fem boy gallades. This has been popular lately, prob because of the thicc booty potential. The panels read up to down, left to right. I'm used to left to right, then up to down. I'm wondering if it won't end up too well for those guys because the creepy funeral dress gardevoir (the artist forgot her little devil horns) might be having a few drinks before deciding to kill them. I was tickled to see that the first two had the whole 'leaves flying around from their supernatural aura' theme. I'll let any readers in on a little secret... *whispers* I actually like that kind of thing better than the pron..
Hot take: It's opposite world. Creepy Funeral Dress Gardevoir is really a convincing trannie who thinks her favorite knights are a bit too upright and sanctimonious, so she sends them off to the dirty convent where Sister Mary Fuck and Sister Mary Hot-to-Trot will loosen them up a bit. When he....she hadn't counted on was that it would take 2 1/2 years to break the good Captain. The red gallade kept checking on him every couple of months, and that was the first time he got his dick sucked in all that time. Don't worry. They'll still be bros.
I'm dying over how they couldn't have gotten the captain cleaned up a bit before presenting him to the queen. Surely she didn't want to see him in the nun getup? -Or maybe she did? Gardevoir drinks because now she's worried they'll be no good as knights after that work over. Add to that, but it would be disappointing to see that her finest Captain has a little dick, whereas the subordinate is hung like that mudsdale. Oh well, it's not the size; it's what one does with it. One more thing...mega has been around since 2014. Why did it take this long for someone to think to turn him into a trannie naughty nun themed prostitute? *slams fist* IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!1!!1!
If an artist was trying to troll me personally, they couldn't possibly come up with anything worse than the following two. First one was gigantism pron found on FA (damn furries, srsly) of enormouly fat mega with two dicks and detailed shot of his sphinxter (which looks large enough to be a portal to Hades).
I heavily cropped the following because it's literally drawn kiddie slash of Wally looking like he's about ten screwing another ten year old 'chick with a dick' trainer with a gengar, while Gallade humps his leg (prob because the gengar is hot. It is in his amorphous breeding pool after all). I imagine that if Wally's Gallade ever encountered one of the artists who does underaged Wally porn, then he'd knee-jerk let out an eldritch screech and instantly hack them to pieces. Wally would stand there stunned covered in arterial spray with that shy bimbo look on his face they always draw him with. Finally, he'd say, "Gee wizz buddy...what was that all about?!" His gallade would reply, You'll have to trust me on this one. I found out via telepathy that they were thinking some NOT NICE thoughts about you..
In the world of Pokemon, there are a lot of trainers walking around with gardevoirs and gallades that never seem to see action on the battle arena. What's up with that?!
Okay, so someone recently did a piece that's as bad as it gets. Octillery got the surprise of his life. When he tentacle-rapes a 'mon, he expects them to be quivering with horror. The green guy, otoh, immediately popped a boner because he's a slut.
About this next one I wrote in my regular LJ: I'll never get jaded so long as there's internet. I know I'll always be able to find something even stupider to laugh at than the last stupid thing that I thought was the funniest yet most retarded thing I'd ever see. I found a hetero cartoon to add to my Gallade porn post featuring a hideous noivern with a bleach blonde Snooki style beehive weave. The piece is called, "Huge Tiddy Goth Noivern GF". (Pfft..) One can't even see the gallade's face..just the big girlie hips and ding dong going into a female part. Noivern is a retard in the anime who goes around bowling people over. I'd imagine after the gallade catches his breath, he'd have a look of relief on his face, like, "YET ANOTHER time I thought I was getting ate and instead made out like a bandit." I'm still getting that Washington visitor, so I'll upload it to my collection for their benefit. I'd link to the original, but to see pron on FA, one needs a password strength equal to what I had to create to access documents on the IRS webpage after applying for my current mortgage. I srsly wonder...how many family members and coworkers (among others) have been stalking me long enough to see my fabulous porn post?
Furaffinity gem found sifting all the inflation porn. Jynx knows sweet kiss, lovely kiss, lick and draining kiss through a TM. Those will (in order) confuse, make drowsy, paralyze and drain ones life energy. My guy looks like he's getting all of those, plus positional asphyxia from dat gigantic booty. Once again, he probably thinks he's going to be eaten, but instead, he's saved by sex. The only time he actually did get eaten in someone's twisted fantasy, I imagined that he wouldn't sink so low as to bang a muk and would rather suffer the horror of toxic oblivion.
He's glassy-eyed and panting with pleasure because it must feel amazing to have hitmonlee's willie almost up to his heart.
He can't even get jerked off without a small pearl of a tear forming in his eye. Of course, it might just be haterenne giving him the creeps. I didn't realize this until just recently, but haterenne is supposed to be a giant-headed gremlin with a little teeny shriveled up vestigal body hanging off its neck. It only looks tall and voluptuous because its abundant hair creates that illusion.
The brave boi isn't cut out for a life of crime....unless it's prostitution.
We all know the Brothers of Light share the greatest love story between two brothers, but the greatest love story of all time in general has to be scizor x gallade. Well, it would be if that blue gallade wasn't really terrified and worried scizor is about to eat him. It's classic big guy on little guy, as according to the video game stats, scizor has seven inches and about 150lbs on gallade. Imagine if such a thing existed in this world where people get freaked out over little bitty spiders.
Gallade looking like he can't move because that thing is steel and weighs 150lbs more than he does..and it's probably going to bite his head off any second now.
The next one has scizor trying to mate with a slack-jawed limp gallade who's in shock wondering what he's waiting for because he's been gnawing on his ear and tasting him for an hour. I shouldn't be so shallow. Maybe scizor is a stand-up insectoid. There was another one on pixiv of a smooch that startled my guy awake. It was really sweet. The only thing that would be sweeter is if I redid the drawing with the Cult Twins.
Awkward sex scene where gallade gets drilled from behind. It's a good ship because scizor does it for him, but the artist needs to watch some irl porn to see how semen works. I sure do. *wink*
I totally wished someone would make a detailed diagram explaining how bug-sex works (plus gallade's awkward anatomy)....but dammit! It's all in Japanese!
Called 'you've got a naughty body' in Japanese, and it's supposed to be bondage. One thing I've noticed looking at so much Japanese porn on Pixiv is that they accurately get the facial expressions of what someone getting plowed in the ass would look like for real. Everyone else draws ecstatic expressions, but the Japanese fans draw tears and agony.
As we know by now, our guy is in the amorphous egg group, as well as the human-like egg group. My guess is that he'd prefer to stick with his own kind because every match up with a ghost type is going to go down similar to a story found on AO3 pairing him with a chandelure, which is a haunted chandelier.
Summary:
As her fire envelops him, and takes him away from the clutches of the world, his mind turns blank. How did the two of them end up in such a place, basking at the warmth of one another? When did her golden eyes became so enticing?
"I am everything you feel; everything you hear". And so he sinks, in marvel at her voice, and in marvel at the way she makes him feel under her ghostly embrace.
Story:
The sky remains bright, its light finds its way to every nook and crevasse, and yet Lev the Gallade shows a noticeable look of concern. Crossing his arms and taking a look at the sunset-colored sky above, he manages to sigh softly enough not to be heard, but to ease himself a little. Behind him is North, the Chandelure, looking at him with a look of curiosity and apparent calmness that contrasts with the anxiety that slips through Lev's composure, and hovering like a protector -or maybe a hunter- beside the psychic/fighting pokemon without an apparent care.
And the thing is: the two've been lost for a while. In the middle of a dense -and told to be cursed- forest, silence governs over the dimming light, enveloping the wanderers with an aura of uncertainty. Separated from their trainer and fellow companions, Lev and North find themselves going in circles within the confines of this evidently haunted place.
The Gallade is annoyed, to say the least. Not only because he's trapped, lost and is wasting time wandering, but because for the many hours that they've been lost, he's been the only one making an effort to get out in the first place. He's aware that the forest itself is not convoluted enough to keep them from escaping, so he can only assume that the many ghost pokemon that live there are enjoying themselves by practicing their illusions on them. He knows that North herself is capable of overcoming the illusions, he knows that she's strong enough, and yet… she keeps herself at a distance, blindly following the upset knightly psychic type. Silent and eerie, she maintains a calm look of curiosity that always manages to creep him out, for he never knows what's beyond her attentive, golden eyes.
“North.” He calls her after a sudden stop, breaking the lingering silence that kept them company. With a look of hurry and mixed annoyance, he peeks over his shoulder only to face an unreadable Chandelure that is effectively there, being creepy as usual. She barely moves, tilts her body slightly to the side -maybe as a way to assure him of her awareness- but stays quiet, calm, and barely there.
“What are we going to do now? Are you just going to keep following me and do nothing?” He waits for a bit, expecting her to grace him with a monosyllable, at least. When she doesn't, he decides to turn and face her, positioning his body in a threatening pose.
“What are you doing, North? I know you can take us out, I know you can help, but you just don't. What do you want? What are you scheming?” His voice, a little strong, disturbs the atmosphere that surrounds them both. North doesn't answer- she never does, always staying firm and detached, no matter his words.
“Will you answer m-!”
“Hush.”
His words are cut short by a telepathic clash inside his head; one that always manages to shake him to the bone. He's known North for many years, almost since he was born, and from that point until now he hasn't managed to shake the primal fear that she installs upon him. He's always been scared of her: her countenance, her quietness, her assertiveness, her eeriness, and even her voice, which somehow manages to overwhelm him in its simplicity. She always barely speaks, but when she does, everybody listens. Even him, despite his apparent bravado, is always thrown out of balance by her. Her effects are fascinating, in a way.
And so he trembles, taking a few steps back as soon she decides to hover closer to him. There are no threats in her body language, but her very presence is unnerving. She's definitely aware of the effect that she has over Lev, though.
“Stay put. You will be safe. You are with me. I will keep you safe.”
Her voice is hauntingly sweet, and strangely calm. It sounds wicked to him, worrying and reassuring at the same time. The way her voice tickles his nape makes him shake a bit, but his annoyance helps him keep his composure.
“…Will you lead us out someday? I know you can, you just choose not to.” He tries to be kind, and stay calm.
“The night is near. Stay with me, just for tonight.” She answers while getting even closer, cornering him against a tree.
“Stay… here? Do you want to stay here?” He peeks at the darkening sky, and then at the foggy forest that exalts the shine of her spiritual fire. “Are you comfortable?” He smiles, anxiously. “You probably feel at ease in here, huh?”
She just stares.
“Ah um… I don't. I'd rather be out here, if you don’t mind.” He looks away and scratches his head.
“I will keep you safe.” Her answer is brief, and a little bit concerning.
“I know! I… I know.” He lashes a bit, turning towards her again. “I don't want to be protected, you know. I'd much rather be… the protector… of you. Maybe. But I don't know anything about this place, and Morgana is probably worried so…”
“Morgana.” She interrupts, encouraged by the mention of their trainer. “She knows. She knows that I will keep you safe. She trusts me, and you should trust me.”
Backed up against a tree and with lady-eeriness hovering so close to his face, he only manages to offer a nervous chuckle to her. “I'm not used to your definition of assurance, you know. I can't read your intentions.”
“I have never hurt you. You should know- I never would.”
“Yes, but still…” He finds some strength to build up his rage, if only a little. “What do you want, North?! Why are you doing this? What's the point? Do you want to scare me? Teach me a lesson? What is it?!”
She backs up a bit, and then stays quiet.
“Forget it. Just leave me alone, then. I'll eventually figure the way out of here.” He pushes himself to one side, attempting to get away from her. He doesn't manage to go very far, however.
“You will not. You need me.” She states, noticing the way his body trembles at the sound of her.
“… And you won't help me. What's the point then?”
She tries to close the distance between them. Slowly, calmly. He doesn't notice it at first. “Stay. With me. Be calm. You are not alone.”
A look of confusion obscures his features. “If you want to stay, then fine. Why do I have to stay, though? You don't even speak to me. You don't need me.”
“I need you. I want you. Lev.”
Then horror gets drawn in his face. The forest is cold, but his body feels even colder. “Um, what?” She never calls him by his name, and her wording is incredibly creepy, to say the least. “Wha- what do you mean, North? You don't- um…” He has no idea what's going on.
“Hush.” Again, his helpless self can't help but obey her hushing. “The light of me will shine brighter with the warmth of you. The path will show itself by then. Offer your soul. To me.”
An unknown pushiness envelops her voice in a way he had never felt before. She gets closer, but he's terrified; her sudden movement causes him to flinch and lose his balance, making him fall into the cold grass beneath him. “You said… you wouldn't hurt me. Morgana trusts you… won't.”
“And I will not.” She asserts with a cold voice. “I will let you out of here. I will set you free. You just have to submit. To me.”
He backs up a bit, crawling backwards while she keeps intent on getting closer. “Um… could you elaborate… then?” The hole in his stomach makes him instantly regret his question.
“Do not resist me. Do not get away from me. All you have is to do is submit.”
He stops on his tracks. “Ah- okay?” But it's hard to do so. He has no idea what he's signing up for.
She hums, content. Her real voice is beautiful, if unnatural. Soft like a chime; a bit like a guiding light. If she weren't so creepy, he would like it. And yet, as he is gently eased by her lovely voice, and being hypnotized in his tracks without noticing, she suddenly disappears from sight. She vanishes; just like that.
“North…?”
He frantically looks around, but she doesn't let him panic for long. Soon enough, he starts feeling the chilling warmth of her blue fire at his back, and his whole sight turns blue from the light.
“Hush.” She is fond of that. “Be quiet. Stay still. Do not fear me. Just lay, stay calm, with me. My voice is everything you hear.” She speaks true, for in that closeness, all he hears is her strong telepathic voice, and the delicate hum of her true voice. Somehow, enveloped in the warmth of her fiery soul, he melts.
And she does as she pleases. She presses herself against his back, marveling at the faint touch of his physical body and her incorporeal one, while her flames grow and envelop him in a ghostly embrace. She closes her eyes and just stays there for a little while, gesturing in a way that seems… loving, somehow.
“North, do you… what are you doing?” Why is she acting so… weirdly? He cannot begin to grasp her intent. And he's comfortable, strangely enough, warming himself up with her spiritual fire.
“I think you know.” Her voice turns so soft, she surprises him a bit. “I love you. I want you. Just this time.”
“WHAT?!” He recoils and panics, and then tries to frantically get away. He's powerless though; trapped in that ring of fire that burns his soul… and perhaps his body too.
“Do not leave. If you want, I will let you go. But stay; I will please you.”
Surprisingly… he doesn't keep pushing. Instead, he slowly but surely accommodates himself beside her just like he was mere moments before, and as soon as he does, she sighs in satisfaction and closes her eyes. His shaking, however, can't be ignored.
“North.” He blushes. “Do you mean… what I think you mean?”
“What do I mean?” She speaks in her commonly mischievous, overbearing tone.
“Come on…” He's frightened, but doesn't reject her. Despite her composure, she is joyful because of that.
“I want to touch you. Will you let me?”
He blushes harder, subconsciously coiling himself. His arms wrap over his torso, he bends his legs towards himself, and looks away. Despite the lovely warmth surrounding him, he trembles. “You're touching me already… what more do you want?”
“Your heat.”
“…Huh?” He genuinely didn't catch that.
“I want your heat. You are cold- that will not do.”
Well, that managed to heat up his face, alright. “Ah! Um… but your flames are warm. It's fine. You don't have to warm me up, really!” He laughs nervously, flinching as soon as he catches her opening eyes.
“You… do not like me?”
His heart skips a beat. “Um, what?”
“You do not want me?”
“North!” He cuts her with his voice, turning himself a bit to the side in order to face her better. “You're being… unfair. You give me no warnings whatsoever. I don't even know what you mean, most of the time.” He elevates his arms in an attempt to cup her head… though his attempts are mainly fruitless, considering her incorporeal being.
She doesn't emote, but her eyes shine brightly because she knows that he… he's not rejecting her. Not really. “Stay calm. Trust me. I will please you… if you let me.” And then she pushes a bit, connecting the front part of her face against his. Was that a kiss?
“Hey North, you know I… I won't run away. I trust you, it's just that… you aren't being clear about what you want, what you expect from me, and what you actually want to… do.”
He has never despised North, but still, he finds himself perplexed by his compliance. Isn't she the creepy Chandelure that always looms close? Isn't she the frightening ghost that only talks in order to hush and scare both him and the rest of the team? And most importantly: Isn't she the one that just minutes before was making him shake to the bone? Then… why? Why is he that comfortable? Why is she being… enticing? A part of him wants to run away, but her voice is feeling so lovely inside his head…
Answering him, she hovers as close as she can, and then she whispers in her real voice, hoping to thrill his sensitive ears. “I want. I want to touch you all over. I want to heat you up, and make you feed my fire with your seed. I expect your submissiveness; your helplessness, your moans, and I want you to…” she covers her voice with tingling distortion, just like a ghost type would. “Hush!”
And so, he petrifies; overwhelmed by his confusion and the weirdest arousal he'll ever experience.
“Am I clear now?” She returns to speaking inside his head, coating her words with a whimsical playfulness that arouses him even more. His legs recoil more in a weak attempt to hide his growing erection, but as always, she's delightfully aware of the way his body answers to her. He's always been so tame, so vulnerable… there's nothing she wants more than to take Lev's seed a million times.
She's in heat, indeed. She'd never say it, though.
“Clear, as a- ah!” He can't help but shy away at the strange feeling of… something, making its way all over his body. He takes a look at North and notices that her eyes are closed, but her body is unmoving. It's strange to think that a being resembling a chandelier could ever move in a way that could… please him, but it seems that she's not relying on the parts of her that everybody can see. It's incredibly creepy, but so it is in a way that both petrifies him and turns him into mush at the same time.
And so, her something starts caressing his skin, traversing with love and care thorough every single nook of his own self. She's not being lewd; she's not touching him there… though he seals his lips, basking on the shameful realization that he'd actually want her to touch his raging erection. He tenses up at the feel of ghostly tendrils heating him up and chilling him at the same time, accompanied by the unbearable feeling of her feminine hum cracking inside his skull.
“N- North…!”
“Stay calm. You will find release if you are patient.” Her blue fire then starts growing, causing him to scream quite suddenly. His shriek corrodes the eerie atmosphere of the forest, but while being inside the circling ritual fire, his distress gets completely muffled. He is helpless, vulnerable, subject to the Chandelure's whims and desires, and if she wishes to burn him, she will. And if she wishes to hurt him, she will. He knows… and still, he trusts; he knows that all she wants to do is… love him, somehow.
And he knows, because her fire burns his body in the most delightful way possible. He shouts out of surprise, because of the rushing heat, but not out of pain, for his most intimate parts swell and twitch at the feverish dream her light is subjecting him through. And in this dream he wonders, for he knows there's no physical body that could envelop him and make him suffer lust like a ghost' would; like this ghost' would.
He feels dirty, amused and weirded out, for a Chandelure's body is everything but alluring. Not in a million years would he have thought to feel this way at the mercy of North, and yet there he was; moaning out of the many feelings that concentrate in his cock and his throat, the last one which coils at the vibrations caused by her chiming hum.
And he wonders… is this foreplay, or the real thing? He really can't imagine… no; the thought of actually breeding with North is way too eldritch for his mind. Fortunately, the sensation of profound pleasure that sheathes his dick is enough to keep his mind blank. And yet, he feels a bit uncomfortable… and a bit curious as well.
“North, and… what about you?” He manages to vocalize despite the fact that there's not a single crevasse of his body uncovered by the fiery pleasure of her incomprehensible caress.
“Me?” Her echoing voice is embellished with genuine wonder, he notes. She stops for a moment right then, and because of it, he ends up silently cursing himself, for he wants everything but the cease of her fondling. Perhaps she stopped on purpose? He wouldn't put it beneath her.
“Yeah um… maybe there's a way I can return the favor?” He squirms a little bit, aching for her.
“You will breed me.” The way she speaks never ceases to make him gasp, certainly. “Pay no mind to the things you do not understand.”
He ponders whether to stay quiet, but his uneasiness stays palpable enough for him to continue inquiring despite knowing that this madness is something he's just supposed to experience for the sake of her.
And she hasn't resumed her loving touch, anyway.
“But… how do I know then? If I'm pleasing you, I mean. How do I know if you ever… want more of me?”
She stays quiet for a second, and then the fondling suddenly resumes. He gasps out of surprise and pleasure while drowning himself into limbs he can't see.
“Are you asking me to vocalize more?” She states, blatant and matter-of-factly.
“Well, yeah, that would hel- ah!” He screams when he starts feeling the warmth of her fire enveloping his shaft and pumping it with abandon, whichever the heck way she can. She's barely started to masturbate him again and yet he feels almost on the edge, but not because of the touch itself. No; the reason he feels like he's about to burst is because she took his request to heart, and is now making him suffer with a spooky choir of both her physical and telepathic voice moaning both beside and inside his head. Her chime-like sounds and feminine sweetness are enough to drive him mad.
“Wait-! North! Don't! I'm about to… !” He squirms, tension building up from his very core and traversing through his body in a way that feels like lighting bolts.
“Do it. Breed me.”
And she only needs to ask, apparently, for as soon as she ended her phrase, Lev found himself shouting away the powerful orgasm that overcame his overstimulated body. He closes his eyes by then and focuses on enjoying every pulse that comes from between his legs; a feeling only exacerbated by sensing her blue flames answering to every throb with a rhythmic warmth of their own. She holds his convulsing body in place, and when the thrill finally starts to recede, the fire starts embracing him right there.
“North, I'm… !” He gasps as soon as he opens his eyes, for he expected to see a big mess of cum both on top of his body and on the grassy floor, but there is… none. Not a single trace of his peak is left anywhere, and that freaks him out. Absolutely.
“Your warmth. It embraces my soul. It feeds my flames, my desire, and will make me cradle a new life. Thank you, Lev. My Gallade.” She then closes her eyes, rubbing her head against his in a manner so kind, one could say is even loving. He has no idea what happened, what's happening, nor what will happen, but the thought of seeing North not only lay an egg, but lay an egg that also belongs to him, weirds him enough to make his head explode. He's happy, however, in a way that he can't explain. The confusion keeps him from answering, though.
And then her flames start to subside, letting him take a new look at the forest that stayed away from their lovemaking. He turns to look up and blinks a few times after he notices that the light has returned to the sky, signalling a particularly long session that definitely didn't feel that long.
The backing of her flames gives him more control over his body, but he shows soon enough that he's not in the mood to leave her side. At all. “I loved this. I loved you.” He confesses not so shamelessly, for there is a small blush tinting his cheeks. “I had no idea you were this wonderful.” He tries to cup her head and kiss her just in the middle spot between her eyes and the flame above her head, but the motion results more like a memento due to her ghostly nature. Soon enough the forest stops feeling eerie, cold and uncertain, and more like a place fit for the growth of life. It's amazing, really.
And so she looks at him intently- silent, creepy, just as she's always been. He smiles while looking into her golden eyes and simply stays there, sitting on the grass and admiring her.
The sound of rushed footsteps and a voice going along with them breaks his trance, however.
“North! Lev! There you are!” A familiar feminine voice brings a little life to the forest, and also makes them both turn at the same time. It's their trainer, Morgana, breathlessly running towards them while waving her right arm above her head.
Lev lets go of North as soon as he sees her, beaming and standing up quickly enough to start waving back before Morgana reaches the place where they are. She catches her breath for a few seconds before standing tall again, a great joy drawn in her face.
“I'm glad to see you both! I see that you're fine, despite being here for so long. I was a little worried, you know!” Her semblance betrays her seemingly carefree attitude, since her skin is slightly pale and her eyes have bags under them. She was probably worried sick, and that realization makes Lev's heart sink. Her beaming voice didn't dare to show it though, and soon enough he gets distracted by the sight of the human reaching out to North with her arms outstretched; a sight very similar to his when he attempted to cup her head. “Oh, but I knew everything would turn out alright! You protected Lev, didn't you, North? You always do.” North simply hovers and chimes around her in response, making Morgana chuckle.
“Well, it's time we went back to town. Come along, you two.” The trainer simply starts walking towards a known path, with North trailing along. Lev, however, stays put for a few seconds, since his mind is still kind of overwhelmed by everything that happened.
His face reveals a little distress. What will happen now, considering that North is possibly pregnant? What will Morgana and the rest of the team think as soon as she lays her egg? Will they put two and two together, and suspect his involvement? Thankfully their baby will be a litwick, because if they were a ralts…
“Lev, are you okay?”
He is thrown away from his thoughts by two pairs of concerned eyes, though only Morgana's truly are, for North's are as obscure as they've always been. He shakes his head and rushes towards them in response, all as a way to reassure the human, though despite everything, he does notice a change within North's semblance. As she silently looks at him sideways, he perceives her expression as being… more alive.
And she has no need to talk to him through his mind. He sees her eyes, and knows exactly what she wants to say. That little word that reminds him that everything has changed, and yet at the same time nothing has changed at all.
“Hush.”
Found an image that goes with the above story on accident looking through the gallade tag on Tumblr. This expresses the mood perfectly.
Japanese kid on Twitter drawing my favorite pairing doing a bit of naughty role playing:
Dark energy (oh my, look at the time *cue rapin' time clock*):
Moar bondage, yay!
Now for my *other* favorite awkward pairing. It's been slow for gallade porn lately (surprise) so I'm just posting a bit of suggestion with our hero possibly using Dream Eater on a bisharp. It's a psychic attack used when a Pokemon is asleep to drain their energy. On Tumblr, someone called used this idea and made it not fun. Why do people
This ship first shown in the old porn post didn't turn out so well. The artist lost interest for the most part, but he/she uploads some ev'ry so often on Twitter. -Seems that the blue guy is mostly abusive towards the green who seethes with resentment.
Someone elses art of green done per artist's request.
Two lifelong friend gallades being gay with each other. Besides that one other artist discussed above, there's not many that ship gallade-on-gallade.
*looks uncomfortable* Wait a minute....what are you doing?! I'm only supposed to use that with a female in Pokemon daycare!
I have never laughed so hard over something so stupid in my life. The little frownie-face peeking out makes it. It must suck not being an apex predator and having so many things bigger than him. If the image wasn't enough, someone left a description in the comments that was as follows: Nidoqueen- *Pressing her foot on the Gallade's crotch* Poor boy, never stood a chance against us~
Rhydon- *Relaxing her full weight on his face, slowly wiggling her booty* We're gonna have lots of fun today.
Gallade- *Trying to push Rhydon off his face* MMMPPHH!!
Right after I saw this, I got a call from a Jehovah's Witness, and I was so full of mirth, I actually let him give me his spiel and direct me to his website. I was still wiping tears. The only related thing that was almost that funny was on FA when someone uploaded arts of gallade blasting a huge fart cloud. Then someone on DA did one better. They drew an enormously fat gardevoir with a gallade standing in her fart cloud behind her back with an expression of ecstasy on his face. Weirdos be into a fetish, but I laughed like a pre-schooler. That poor guy will have to drag his sorry ass back into a tree and think about being more careful coming down next time. -Or if they break both his arms stepping on them, he'll have to lie at the side of a heavily traveled human path and hope some kind person would come along and carry him to a Pokemon center.
Another scenario...gone wrong? He pretends to be shocked, but he bangs trapdevoir all the time.
Meet Rinto. He managed to form a deep psychic bond with a gallade while also managing to be a douchebag. I lol-ed when he told Ash he had to 'learn to fight in unison with Farfetch'd'...as if it's possible for Ash to have the same sort of relationship with a duck that he has with a psychic. I thought it was interesting he's the only character with oddly illuminated pupils. Hopefully he gets more episodes. Here's some fan art that looks like a lewd, as if they're 'Netflix and chilling' while he shows him what flexible human hands can do.
Rinto's Gallade shows us how it feels to have a Heart of Justice.
Here's our hero being a whore in the actual anime. It's now canon. Damn...he loses one fight and assumes the position
-And finally, here's a pin-up of mega in an absol costume. It's the kind of exotic underwear a guy wears when he's in the amorphous egg group...compatible to breeding with all sorts of creepy ghosts and demon witches.