early

[kharmanova]

Even after reading earlier posts from other journals - NOTHING has changed! How I thought I had made such progress - NOTHING exists.. I still feel the same way, hate the same way, love the same way. Why  has this not changed? Thoughts from 2005 are just as disturbing as thoughts of 2009. Or earlier. What the hell have I REALLY learned? ANYTHING?

Please - if you know me - PLEASE tell me I've learned something from then?????

I'm not sure I can handle this feeling...................