I think it might be a story...
Deep in the depths of space floated the Ankh. A massive space station, honeycombed with miles and miles of corridors, storage facilities, manufactories, and residential hab-blocks. Preposterously, in Wing A, Customs Port 19B, entry point 7's interrogation room sat an 8 year old little girl named Cindy Lou. Her charge? Being an intergalactic organized crime figure.
Lord Officer-Investigator Silas J. Ompvilan, a tall man of middling years and stern countenance, as well as lead investigator watched her on the monitors, while junior officers ran the actual 'interview'.
"You need to let me go, Snuffy is getting mad." Cindy said, while holding up her stuffed Olisian Rompa. Its bedraggled appearance indicated long hours of being hard-used and well-loved. "We just need to ask a few questions, dear." Indicated the young woman in the stark black uniform of a Confederation of Allied Planets peace keeper. "It's better to cooperate at this point, honey." Said the (very flamboyantly gay) advocate from the Office of Sentient Rights. While the representative from the Galactic Bureau of Cidivism merely leaned against the wall, the white helm of his riot armor impenetrable to normal vision.
"Evidence has been collected and presented, indicating that you have an affiliation with the Syndicate De Lores. Under Confederation Senate laws, you may be subject to sentence up to and including execution by star." A barbaric process whereby criminals were placed in a rocket powered coffin and launched into the nearest star. "Now first, do you need a parent present?"
"I am a emancipated citizen, with a IQ of 212 and my own money." Cindy said, popping her finger out of her mouth and wiping it absent-mindedly on Snuffy.
"Ah, Gene-gineered. Very good citizen. Now, on or about A7.203.12 C.A.P.-standard date there was a full scale assault on the planet of Abercrombie, by the Stultian Red Guard mercenary company. Arrested and detained former officers of that regiment indicated that they'd been hired by a Mr. Storm. A known fixer for the De Lores, to take the narcotic fields and manufactories from the Red Corsairs syndicate. And that they'd been paid directly from your personal accounts. Would you like to explain?"
Cindy peered myopically at the peace keeper, "I reported to the office of fraud that someone had hacked my account 3 days before that." Her 8 year old temper rising. "Snuffy is getting mad. This is stupid. I am bored of you and your dumbness."
"Now now dear, just a little bit longer. They can only hold you for another 20 minutes without charging you." The O.S.R. rep patted her arm, failing to notice the look of annoyance the adorable 8 year old little girl shot him.
"Charges are what we're hear to talk about" said the woman, trying to re-track the conversation. While joining Cindy Lou in shooting the well-intentioned man a look of annoyance. "That same day, four different leaders of the Red Corsairs were found dead. Poison, las-beam, imploder charge, and beaten to death with a zero-g bowling ball, are the listed causes of death. Three more sentients from the Xiang-Gonzalez syndicate were also found dead. One assassinated by an illegal Mark-17 Combat Droid modified for stealth and infiltration. Per Confederation of Allied Planets judicial code 1.A.19.19.7.Z the modification of a combat droid by civilian persons carries a sentence up to and including total asset forfeiture and/or personality erasure. Another was killed by an exploding recycling hover truck, while the third was sucked into a booby-trapped credit terminal. We still haven't positively identified that one. If you know anything about these crimes, it would behoove you to come clean now, and plead for mercy from the court. We have evidence linking you to every one of these homicides, my Legal Expert ™ implant tells me you have an 87.657% chance of being convicted of these crimes should you not."
Cindy Lou, however, had begun a conversation with the white-armored cividism officer, and apparently, Snuffy too. "Why don't you talk. Are you stupid? You should get me some juice." She informed him. "Snuffy says that you smell. And look like Rompa dung. And Snuffy would know. Because he is a Rompa. Well, not really, he is a stuffy. But, he is a stuffy Rompa. So he'd know better than you. And besides, you are stupid anyway."
The man didn't stir however, and the woman decided to continue her interrogation. "Six banks were robbed, as well as four jewelry stores. 19 different millionaires were kidnapped, and sources tell us that five new illegal gambling dens were all developed that same day, can you explain--"
Lord Officer-Investigator Silas J. Ompvilan threw open the door to the interrogation room and strode in, cape fluttering. "Ms. Cindy Lou. Please accept the sincerest apologies of the Confederation of Allied Planets. There has been a tragic mistake. It is my duty to plead with you not to sue, while informing you of your right to do so. Please, your shuttle waits for you in docking bay 92, wing A, port 54."
Carefully masked looks of surprise flitted across the personnel in the room, as they moved to let the little girl out. A long, quiet, and thoughtful march lead all four of them to the monitoring station above her shuttle bay. And, within the hour, they watched her shuttle debark, to re-join the majestic Void Princess pleasure cruiser on its tour of the galaxy.
"Sir, we had her! I had a conviction. We have the evidence--" the earnest young lady from the peace keepers.
"Sergent, scanners were finally able to penetrate the inner shield of her doll. 'Snuffy' was a 97 gigagoogle-ton Star Snuffer. Capable of extinguishing all life in this solar system." Which instantly changed the mood in the room from one of outrage to solemn contemplation of the nature of life. And death.
Finis
K.