my angel, rachel.
well. just got back from that prayer thing. i was so emotional, i couldn't talk. so this is what i wanted to say.
holding rachel's tiny body there in my arms, the thought of her dead never even crossed my mind. rachel is way too beautiful to die. i couldn't cry, cause it felt like a dream. i was hysterical and i was running to the end of the street with the operator on the phone ... trying to find the name of the street. when the EMT's put her in the ambulance, i tried to look at her, and they wouldn't let me. and i thought, it doesn't look good ... they're trying to protect me.
but rachel is my angel. she's my protector. she would take a bullet for anyone. and ... not being able to speak tonight in front of all those people is just ... i've never been speechless. i've never gotten that choked up. and the whole time i was just thinking to myself, if rachel was here ... she'd look me in the eyes, and say ... just do it. it's so easy. that's what she'd done that night. i wanted to talk to a guy cause i'd seen him before, but i didn't wanna look like a stupid dumb kid. so she walked up to him, and said ... "see her? yeah that's my friend karys, she thinks you're REALLY cute. and wants to know if you have a girlfriend" and i was so embarrassed. and no one can embarrass me. so i laughed. and i love her for that. because when i didn't have the strength, she gave it to me. and now that i need her the most, when i need to see her beautiful smile and her bright green eyes light up, i can't. and no matter what the situation, i wanna be like rachel. when she's quiet, i'm quiet. my dad told me in the car ride home, "when you're silent only God hears you" and that's enough for me.
so i keep god close to my side. and as for rachel, she's my best side. there's more to this, she'll make it out. she will live to tell. and it'll just be another chapter in her little story book. i love her so much, and i thank every one of you who came out tonight. and thank you for putting your arms around me ... i needed it. it was the first time i'd been out of the house in a week, with the exception of work. i don't ever stop thinking about her. i know none of us do. but i'm okay with having her on my mind, and i know all of you are too. because i cannot think of a single person who doesn't absolutely adore rachel. even people who hadn't met her were there tonight. and that's gotta mean something.
i love me some RAD.
M3
holding rachel's tiny body there in my arms, the thought of her dead never even crossed my mind. rachel is way too beautiful to die. i couldn't cry, cause it felt like a dream. i was hysterical and i was running to the end of the street with the operator on the phone ... trying to find the name of the street. when the EMT's put her in the ambulance, i tried to look at her, and they wouldn't let me. and i thought, it doesn't look good ... they're trying to protect me.
but rachel is my angel. she's my protector. she would take a bullet for anyone. and ... not being able to speak tonight in front of all those people is just ... i've never been speechless. i've never gotten that choked up. and the whole time i was just thinking to myself, if rachel was here ... she'd look me in the eyes, and say ... just do it. it's so easy. that's what she'd done that night. i wanted to talk to a guy cause i'd seen him before, but i didn't wanna look like a stupid dumb kid. so she walked up to him, and said ... "see her? yeah that's my friend karys, she thinks you're REALLY cute. and wants to know if you have a girlfriend" and i was so embarrassed. and no one can embarrass me. so i laughed. and i love her for that. because when i didn't have the strength, she gave it to me. and now that i need her the most, when i need to see her beautiful smile and her bright green eyes light up, i can't. and no matter what the situation, i wanna be like rachel. when she's quiet, i'm quiet. my dad told me in the car ride home, "when you're silent only God hears you" and that's enough for me.
so i keep god close to my side. and as for rachel, she's my best side. there's more to this, she'll make it out. she will live to tell. and it'll just be another chapter in her little story book. i love her so much, and i thank every one of you who came out tonight. and thank you for putting your arms around me ... i needed it. it was the first time i'd been out of the house in a week, with the exception of work. i don't ever stop thinking about her. i know none of us do. but i'm okay with having her on my mind, and i know all of you are too. because i cannot think of a single person who doesn't absolutely adore rachel. even people who hadn't met her were there tonight. and that's gotta mean something.
i love me some RAD.
M3