(no subject)
Do you want to hear something really strange/ridiculous?
For the last 4 years, I have been wishing to get down to the weight that I currently am at this exact moment. I have and ideal "goal weight" that is about 10 pounds less than I am at this time, but it's not comletely realistic. So yeah... The point is, I haven't been this size since about 9th grade, and it's something I've been wishing to achieve for a really long time.
Funny thing is, now that I am this weight/size, I'm still completely dissatisfied with my body. I still think I'm far to big, and I have a terrible "I look fat" complex whenever I put on ANYTHING. I can't understand why I'm not happy at this weight, since it's really exactly what I've been trying to achieve for years now.
I'm insane- there's nothing more to it.
School is really kicking my ass. Infact, life in general is kicking my ass. I know I promised not to do it, but for the last three weeks I have been living in this trippy fantasy world where nothing exists besides Scott.
I gave the balancing thing a try, but I'm not even nearly motivated enough to make it work. With Scott it's just so easy and uncomplicated. Or it was for a while at least...
I'm learning so much lately... it's good when there's someone else besides just you to think about and worry about and be considerate towards.
Well, I'm running ridiculously late for class, so I should go now.
<3
For the last 4 years, I have been wishing to get down to the weight that I currently am at this exact moment. I have and ideal "goal weight" that is about 10 pounds less than I am at this time, but it's not comletely realistic. So yeah... The point is, I haven't been this size since about 9th grade, and it's something I've been wishing to achieve for a really long time.
Funny thing is, now that I am this weight/size, I'm still completely dissatisfied with my body. I still think I'm far to big, and I have a terrible "I look fat" complex whenever I put on ANYTHING. I can't understand why I'm not happy at this weight, since it's really exactly what I've been trying to achieve for years now.
I'm insane- there's nothing more to it.
School is really kicking my ass. Infact, life in general is kicking my ass. I know I promised not to do it, but for the last three weeks I have been living in this trippy fantasy world where nothing exists besides Scott.
I gave the balancing thing a try, but I'm not even nearly motivated enough to make it work. With Scott it's just so easy and uncomplicated. Or it was for a while at least...
I'm learning so much lately... it's good when there's someone else besides just you to think about and worry about and be considerate towards.
Well, I'm running ridiculously late for class, so I should go now.
<3