Life or the Thing LIke It
Chris IMed me out of the blue... Cory and Nick are having "issues," I haven't talked to Mike in ages, Peter Pan is back in forth with his ex, I've accidentally broken up two couples, Andrew stopped talking to me out of the blue, and to top it off Chris started messaging me tonight to my surprise and to my realization that I wasn't as ready for that as I had thought.
In summation... I think someone is trying to tell me that relationships are maybe not the smartest idea right now for me? I can't speak on that for sure... but it sure seems that way.
For a quick update and disection:
1.) Chris. I thought I was past that. He wants to be buds with me. He says to me "I hate how we went from being so close to hardly even talking." Well... I fell in Love with you bud! I don't know what to do about that! Yes Love... I don't take that bet nor do I regret that... but it doesn't make it easy for me to just be chummy with someone. I want to, I really do. I fell for him for a reason... it's just... not only do I now see many rasons to NOT be with him... when I talk to him... I don't totally feel nothing...
2.) Cory and Nick... *sigh*... long distance relationships... two of my great friends (especially Cor) having some problems... normal i suppose, but problems nonetheless... Everyone who knows me well knows my theory on dating as someone goes into college for the first time.
3.) Mike... my ex... my good buddy... hasn't talked to me in quite the while. We used to work out all the time... He just moved into a new place, but I can't help to wonder if it's because of his feelings toward me... I'm letting that lie for the time being.
4.) Peter Pan... always falling back to his ex... the only problem with that is his ex is extremely jealous of me... and the real downfall is that I really Love hanging out and talkign to Peter Pan and tonight in fact I could have used his advice... but he's nowhere to be found... perhaps because his ex wants Pete to have nothing to do with me. Stellar.
5.) Two couples. One that I rarely talk to, and the other that I'm quite taking to. One, the latter, invovled my friend.... i feel like I need good swift kick to the next sternum.
6.) I finally started talking to my ex Andrew for the first time in over a year only to have him stop out of the blue... I think that is an attribution to his boyfriend, quite like Peter Pan... but this I really have no idea. Letting a sleeping horse suffocate I say.
So this all stems from some deep thinking spurred by Chris telling me I'm "an amazing guy" (as a friend I'm sure I can assure you)... and me thinking... "If I was really that amazing... I would be able to find away to still be an awesome friend to you... instead... I'm stumbling over my heart."
Good heart... Heal... now sit... roll over... play dead.
Good boy.
-Adam-
In summation... I think someone is trying to tell me that relationships are maybe not the smartest idea right now for me? I can't speak on that for sure... but it sure seems that way.
For a quick update and disection:
1.) Chris. I thought I was past that. He wants to be buds with me. He says to me "I hate how we went from being so close to hardly even talking." Well... I fell in Love with you bud! I don't know what to do about that! Yes Love... I don't take that bet nor do I regret that... but it doesn't make it easy for me to just be chummy with someone. I want to, I really do. I fell for him for a reason... it's just... not only do I now see many rasons to NOT be with him... when I talk to him... I don't totally feel nothing...
2.) Cory and Nick... *sigh*... long distance relationships... two of my great friends (especially Cor) having some problems... normal i suppose, but problems nonetheless... Everyone who knows me well knows my theory on dating as someone goes into college for the first time.
3.) Mike... my ex... my good buddy... hasn't talked to me in quite the while. We used to work out all the time... He just moved into a new place, but I can't help to wonder if it's because of his feelings toward me... I'm letting that lie for the time being.
4.) Peter Pan... always falling back to his ex... the only problem with that is his ex is extremely jealous of me... and the real downfall is that I really Love hanging out and talkign to Peter Pan and tonight in fact I could have used his advice... but he's nowhere to be found... perhaps because his ex wants Pete to have nothing to do with me. Stellar.
5.) Two couples. One that I rarely talk to, and the other that I'm quite taking to. One, the latter, invovled my friend.... i feel like I need good swift kick to the next sternum.
6.) I finally started talking to my ex Andrew for the first time in over a year only to have him stop out of the blue... I think that is an attribution to his boyfriend, quite like Peter Pan... but this I really have no idea. Letting a sleeping horse suffocate I say.
So this all stems from some deep thinking spurred by Chris telling me I'm "an amazing guy" (as a friend I'm sure I can assure you)... and me thinking... "If I was really that amazing... I would be able to find away to still be an awesome friend to you... instead... I'm stumbling over my heart."
Good heart... Heal... now sit... roll over... play dead.
Good boy.
-Adam-