asylumproject: Guardian Something-Or-Others
Title: Guardian Something-Or-Others
Series: Crossover universe (inspired by asylumproject).
Character(s): Badou Nails [DOGS], Jan Valentine [Hellsing], Orihime Inoue [Bleach]
Rating: PG-13? Maybe?
Warnings: Vulgar language and general retardation and crack.
Summary: No one understood why or how a sweet girl like Orihime would befriend the school's two biggest jerks/perverts/disgustingly awesome dudes in the whole universe.
Author's note: I still have mixed feelings about this.
Guardian Something-Or-Others
by Spooky (machinator).
The sun filtered in through the windows, particles of dust catching and reflecting the light in that weird way that particles of dust often did. Orihime leaned forward in her seat, her elbows digging into the top of the desk. Her pink lips pressed outwards in a kissing motion as she expelled a puff of air, the action disturbing the dust in the air and causing it to swirl. Satisfied, she sat back in her seat, smiling brightly. She was like God to dust particles and she could giveth and taketh away and something else that ended with "eth" that made her sound super powerful.
Now, Orihime wasn't known for being the brightest girl in school. Even so, one would have to wonder why she was still seated in the same spot since the school bell had rung no less than thirty minutes before. Certainly she had places to be?
Orihime sighed and a tiny smile crossed her features. Truthfully, there had once been a time where Orihime couldn't honestly say she had anywhere she needed to be. Her brother had passed on, her friends had all gone to different schools... Despite her kindness, she wasn't exactly the most popular girl. She had time to waste. Everyone always wondered, but never enough to invite her to go along with them.
That all changed, of course, upon entering high school for her freshman year. Another smile caught her lips and her heart gave a little flutter in her chest. She closed her eyes and her head bowed forward just a fraction.
She was far from popular. In fact, she was probably even despised by some. And yet... She didn't find that it filled her with ache anymore. All the people that had watched her walk home alone without asking to join her, all the people that didn't even try to catch her if she'd stumble in the hallways... No. Orihime was a stronger girl now, and she knew she didn't need people like that in her life.
And she was stronger because...
Before her thoughts could drift much further along this path, she was alerted to the loud barking sounds of laughter from just outside the door. Her heart gave another flutter in her chest and this time she put a hand over the fast-beating organ.
"Any minute now..."
Just as she thought these words, the door burst open so violently that the wood splintered and the hinges groaned. Another loud bark of laughter and the smell of smoke assaulted her senses.
And her heart was beating so, so fast now. Not even God could slap the look of pure happiness that completely lit her face like a Christmas tree on fire.
"FUCK! That took way too goddamn long!"
"If you didn't dick around so much, you stupid slut, it wouldn't have taken so long."
Orihime couldn't suppress the airy giggles that slipped through her lips as she fixed fond eyes upon the two most unlikely people to have pushed-shoved-swore their way into her life.
Every school had their dead-beat. Orihime's school had two. Badou Nails and Jan Valentine.
And Orihime adored them both.
When Badou wasn't skipping class to see how many packs of cigarettes he could burn through before the next bell rang, he was sitting at the back of the class, harrassing teachers and students alike. More than one class was cut short because the teacher broke down sobbing from the mental anguish.
When Jan wasn't skipping class to shove band geeks into lockers, he was in the back of the classroom, fondling himself inappropriately whenever he didn't know the answer to a question. More than one class was cut short because Jan had exposed himself for everyone to see.
Orihime never skipped class to smoke or pick on people. She never picked on her peers or teachers and never exposed herself inappropriately... And yet she sat at the back of the room with Badou and Jan in her cozy little seat located directly between them.
No one had expected her to last long, sitting between such devils. Like all the poor souls before her, eveyone expected her to break into tears and request a new seat before the first day even ended.
What a surprise it was when a month had passed and Orihime seemed to shine brighter than ever under the attention of those two weirdos.
So people began to hate Orihime just like they hated Badou and Jan. They thought she was sick and twisted just like them and shot her terrible glares in the hallway. But Orihime didn't mind. She would simply smile back because she knew that she'd soon be seeing those same people swinging from the flag-pole by their underpants after school.
Jan and Badou didn't take too well to people picking on their Orihime. Because she was one of them, and she didn't have to change anything about herself to be one of them. They protected her when nobody else seemed to even pay her a second glance. They wanted her around just because she was Orihime and she didn't have to be anybody else.
They were truly her guardian ange--
"You're a fucking retard! That's fucking nasty! Knock it the fuck off!" Orihime's head snapped up from where her eyes had originally been zoning out. She blinked rapidly, her eyes trying to take in everything faster than her brain was processing it.
Badou was currently stumbling back over desks, a look of pure irritation with the slight undertone of fear etched over his face. Jan advanced, laughing evilly with his hand outstretched.
Orihime laughed again, not even wanting to know what was on Jan's hand that was making Badou react in such a way. Sometimes it was just better to let them play like children for a little while.
Except when Badou's fist swung around and caught Jan under the chin, she knew playtime was over. With a startled yelp, Orihime propelled herself from her desk, flailing her hands above her head to get their attention.
Jan was in mid-swing when he caught sight of her in his peripheral vision. He stopped, his eyes immediately falling straight down to her ample chest. The fabric of her uniform was pulled taut across her breasts as she waved her arms around. This was the perfect opening for Badou to throw his head foreward, bringing their hard skulls together with such a horrible noise that Orihime actually faltered and had to cover her ears as she shuddered.
It was silent.
She could imagine the dust swirling around them, trying to fall back into its lazy pattern after the commotion.
Then there was a tiny whimpering sound, and it had come from one of the boys. Hime let out a heavy breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Things were okay again, she knew, and as soon as she thought it, the three of them broke out into laughter.
Anyone standing close enough to hear would have found the noises frightening or deranged. Badou and Jan laughed like madmen. It was made even more bizarre by the light little chiming giggles that could only come from a girl like Orihime. The three of them stood in the abandoned classroom just laughing like mental patients that were more suited to an asylum filled with zombies, not a public high school.
So yeah, they were truly her guardian ange--
"Fuck you, you dirty cunt," Jan was laughing and Orihime knew there wasn't any hostility in his words. "That fucking hurt like a bitch." She smiled and put her hand on his arm. He flinched and pulled away, and she soon realized why when he began wiping his hand off on one of the random jackets from the 'Lost & Found' box by the door. She hid a grin behind her fingertips. He didn't want to get her messy.
"Oh, yeah, you're so fucking classy," Badou replied, his nose wrinkling when Jan walked back over. The taller redhead looked down at Orihime and extended his arm for her to take. "Let's ditch this retard, you think?"
"Oh!" Orihime laughed and shook her head, hooking her arm around his. "Don't be mean!" She held out her other arm which Jan latched onto immediately, his expression that of a wounded puppy. He pouted at Badou, his bottom lip jutting out so far that he looked almost like a chimp.
"He's really fucking mean to me, Hime. You know what he did while we were in detention?" He leaned in close, his face so serious that Hime knew he was playing around. "The bastard spit down the back of my shirt! What the fuck! Who does that?"
"Well who the fuck rubs his balls and then tries to put it in another dude's face? You fucking fuh-reeeek."
"Fuck! I would never do that, Hime, you gotta believe me, this dude's a fucking psycho."
As the two bickering brutes began leading her towards the exit, Orihime found herself drowning out their silly argument to get lost in her own thoughts again.
Like she was saying, these two were her guardian--... She glanced up at the sharp faces that were now laughing about something that was most likely extremely vile. Her face softened at the sight. They were far from angels.
... Well, they were her guardian something-or-others.
---
Disclaimer: I don't own Jan, Badou, or Orihime.
Series: Crossover universe (inspired by asylumproject).
Character(s): Badou Nails [DOGS], Jan Valentine [Hellsing], Orihime Inoue [Bleach]
Rating: PG-13? Maybe?
Warnings: Vulgar language and general retardation and crack.
Summary: No one understood why or how a sweet girl like Orihime would befriend the school's two biggest jerks/perverts/disgustingly awesome dudes in the whole universe.
Author's note: I still have mixed feelings about this.
Guardian Something-Or-Others
by Spooky (machinator).
The sun filtered in through the windows, particles of dust catching and reflecting the light in that weird way that particles of dust often did. Orihime leaned forward in her seat, her elbows digging into the top of the desk. Her pink lips pressed outwards in a kissing motion as she expelled a puff of air, the action disturbing the dust in the air and causing it to swirl. Satisfied, she sat back in her seat, smiling brightly. She was like God to dust particles and she could giveth and taketh away and something else that ended with "eth" that made her sound super powerful.
Now, Orihime wasn't known for being the brightest girl in school. Even so, one would have to wonder why she was still seated in the same spot since the school bell had rung no less than thirty minutes before. Certainly she had places to be?
Orihime sighed and a tiny smile crossed her features. Truthfully, there had once been a time where Orihime couldn't honestly say she had anywhere she needed to be. Her brother had passed on, her friends had all gone to different schools... Despite her kindness, she wasn't exactly the most popular girl. She had time to waste. Everyone always wondered, but never enough to invite her to go along with them.
That all changed, of course, upon entering high school for her freshman year. Another smile caught her lips and her heart gave a little flutter in her chest. She closed her eyes and her head bowed forward just a fraction.
She was far from popular. In fact, she was probably even despised by some. And yet... She didn't find that it filled her with ache anymore. All the people that had watched her walk home alone without asking to join her, all the people that didn't even try to catch her if she'd stumble in the hallways... No. Orihime was a stronger girl now, and she knew she didn't need people like that in her life.
And she was stronger because...
Before her thoughts could drift much further along this path, she was alerted to the loud barking sounds of laughter from just outside the door. Her heart gave another flutter in her chest and this time she put a hand over the fast-beating organ.
"Any minute now..."
Just as she thought these words, the door burst open so violently that the wood splintered and the hinges groaned. Another loud bark of laughter and the smell of smoke assaulted her senses.
And her heart was beating so, so fast now. Not even God could slap the look of pure happiness that completely lit her face like a Christmas tree on fire.
"FUCK! That took way too goddamn long!"
"If you didn't dick around so much, you stupid slut, it wouldn't have taken so long."
Orihime couldn't suppress the airy giggles that slipped through her lips as she fixed fond eyes upon the two most unlikely people to have pushed-shoved-swore their way into her life.
Every school had their dead-beat. Orihime's school had two. Badou Nails and Jan Valentine.
And Orihime adored them both.
When Badou wasn't skipping class to see how many packs of cigarettes he could burn through before the next bell rang, he was sitting at the back of the class, harrassing teachers and students alike. More than one class was cut short because the teacher broke down sobbing from the mental anguish.
When Jan wasn't skipping class to shove band geeks into lockers, he was in the back of the classroom, fondling himself inappropriately whenever he didn't know the answer to a question. More than one class was cut short because Jan had exposed himself for everyone to see.
Orihime never skipped class to smoke or pick on people. She never picked on her peers or teachers and never exposed herself inappropriately... And yet she sat at the back of the room with Badou and Jan in her cozy little seat located directly between them.
No one had expected her to last long, sitting between such devils. Like all the poor souls before her, eveyone expected her to break into tears and request a new seat before the first day even ended.
What a surprise it was when a month had passed and Orihime seemed to shine brighter than ever under the attention of those two weirdos.
So people began to hate Orihime just like they hated Badou and Jan. They thought she was sick and twisted just like them and shot her terrible glares in the hallway. But Orihime didn't mind. She would simply smile back because she knew that she'd soon be seeing those same people swinging from the flag-pole by their underpants after school.
Jan and Badou didn't take too well to people picking on their Orihime. Because she was one of them, and she didn't have to change anything about herself to be one of them. They protected her when nobody else seemed to even pay her a second glance. They wanted her around just because she was Orihime and she didn't have to be anybody else.
They were truly her guardian ange--
"You're a fucking retard! That's fucking nasty! Knock it the fuck off!" Orihime's head snapped up from where her eyes had originally been zoning out. She blinked rapidly, her eyes trying to take in everything faster than her brain was processing it.
Badou was currently stumbling back over desks, a look of pure irritation with the slight undertone of fear etched over his face. Jan advanced, laughing evilly with his hand outstretched.
Orihime laughed again, not even wanting to know what was on Jan's hand that was making Badou react in such a way. Sometimes it was just better to let them play like children for a little while.
Except when Badou's fist swung around and caught Jan under the chin, she knew playtime was over. With a startled yelp, Orihime propelled herself from her desk, flailing her hands above her head to get their attention.
Jan was in mid-swing when he caught sight of her in his peripheral vision. He stopped, his eyes immediately falling straight down to her ample chest. The fabric of her uniform was pulled taut across her breasts as she waved her arms around. This was the perfect opening for Badou to throw his head foreward, bringing their hard skulls together with such a horrible noise that Orihime actually faltered and had to cover her ears as she shuddered.
It was silent.
She could imagine the dust swirling around them, trying to fall back into its lazy pattern after the commotion.
Then there was a tiny whimpering sound, and it had come from one of the boys. Hime let out a heavy breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Things were okay again, she knew, and as soon as she thought it, the three of them broke out into laughter.
Anyone standing close enough to hear would have found the noises frightening or deranged. Badou and Jan laughed like madmen. It was made even more bizarre by the light little chiming giggles that could only come from a girl like Orihime. The three of them stood in the abandoned classroom just laughing like mental patients that were more suited to an asylum filled with zombies, not a public high school.
So yeah, they were truly her guardian ange--
"Fuck you, you dirty cunt," Jan was laughing and Orihime knew there wasn't any hostility in his words. "That fucking hurt like a bitch." She smiled and put her hand on his arm. He flinched and pulled away, and she soon realized why when he began wiping his hand off on one of the random jackets from the 'Lost & Found' box by the door. She hid a grin behind her fingertips. He didn't want to get her messy.
"Oh, yeah, you're so fucking classy," Badou replied, his nose wrinkling when Jan walked back over. The taller redhead looked down at Orihime and extended his arm for her to take. "Let's ditch this retard, you think?"
"Oh!" Orihime laughed and shook her head, hooking her arm around his. "Don't be mean!" She held out her other arm which Jan latched onto immediately, his expression that of a wounded puppy. He pouted at Badou, his bottom lip jutting out so far that he looked almost like a chimp.
"He's really fucking mean to me, Hime. You know what he did while we were in detention?" He leaned in close, his face so serious that Hime knew he was playing around. "The bastard spit down the back of my shirt! What the fuck! Who does that?"
"Well who the fuck rubs his balls and then tries to put it in another dude's face? You fucking fuh-reeeek."
"Fuck! I would never do that, Hime, you gotta believe me, this dude's a fucking psycho."
As the two bickering brutes began leading her towards the exit, Orihime found herself drowning out their silly argument to get lost in her own thoughts again.
Like she was saying, these two were her guardian--... She glanced up at the sharp faces that were now laughing about something that was most likely extremely vile. Her face softened at the sight. They were far from angels.
... Well, they were her guardian something-or-others.
---
Disclaimer: I don't own Jan, Badou, or Orihime.