rating: pg (this chapter); nc-17 overall
pairing: yoochun/changmin
length: ~8100 wc (this chapter)
summary: Yoochun was born and raised in the U.S. and had never traveled outside of it. That changes when he graduates high school and he goes on a trip with his mom to Korea where he meets family, friends, and the boy-next-door named Shim Changmin.
CHAPTER TWO
Aunt Mina woke the boys up at seven in the morning. “Breakfast is ready, sleepyheads! If you wanna go sightseeing, you’ll have to start early or else stuff will start closing before you can get it all in.”
Yoochun groaned but managed to get up. Jaejoong just whined and pulled the blanket over his head.
Rising groggily, Yoochun wrestled on a pair of loose jeans that didn’t look too ratty and the only v-neck t-shirt he had. A lot of guys were wearing those when he was out yesterday. He tied a flannel around his waist. He’d seen that yesterday a lot, too. He hoped he looked okay, but honestly he had no idea. He’d have to ask Jaejoong. Speaking of which…
“Ow!” Jaejoong groaned. “Dude, why’d throw a pillow at me?”
Yoochun grinned from ear to ear. “Wake up! We have to eat and then go sightseeing. I’m already ready!”
Jaejoong looked at him. “Do you really not own any skinny jeans?”
“No…if you wear those in America people think you’re gay.”
“Aren’t you though?”
Yoochun’s face went as red as the flannel around his waist. “NO!”
Jaejoong fell over his bed, cackling. “You know what, we might actually be the same size, hang on.” He got up and rummaged through his closet, pulling out a black pair of jeans.
“Here, wear these.”
“Ugh, actually, maybe I should wear shorts. It was really hot yesterday and we’re going to be walking around.”
Jaejoong shoved the jeans into Yoochun’s arms. “Fashion hurts, darling. Wear it!”
“…Fine.”
Of Jaejoong’s eight older sisters (Yoochun still couldn’t get over that number), only three of them were willing to wake up before noon and go out for the day: Yusoon, Sunhee, and Minkyung. Of course, Aunt Mina scolded the rest of them for being lazy bums, but it was all bark and no bite.
Jaejoong asked the grown-ups if they wanted to come along as well, but they declined.
“No way, we’ve already seen all those boring monuments a million times.”
Yoochun stared at his mother. “Seriously, mom, even you?” Inju only shook her head. “You guys have fun, I’m going to go shopping with your grandparents today. And I want to spend time with my cute nieces that I never get to see!” she added, pinching the cheek of a half-dead looking Ahyoung who had just sat down at the table for breakfast, hair still a mess and pajamas still wrinkled from too many hours of sleep.
“Well…if you’re sure then.”
“Aww, Inju, your son is so well-mannered. What a cutie,” Yoochun’s aunt squealed.
His mom smiled-a huge, genuine smile. It had been a while since she’d looked like that; proud, happy and at ease.
“Thank you. Go on now, kids. Be safe.”
Yoochun, Jaejoong, Yusoon, Sunhee, and Minkyung walked to Changmin’s house to retrieve the boy before heading to their first sightseeing destination of the day. The boy came out of his house, greeting everyone politely and asking how they were, but only sparing a glance and a curt nod for Yoochun. Great, Yoochun thought bitterly, today’s going to be fun and not awkward at all!
The subway ride was fine. In just a few days, Yoochun had gotten the hang of using the Seoul subway system. It wasn’t rocket science, but coming from a sleepy town that had nearly no public transportation as well as having limited Korean skills, Yoochun wasn’t expecting himself to pick it up so fast.
He conversed with Jaejoong and Minkyung, while Sunhee, one of the more responsible Kim children, planned out their day in her notebook. From the corner of his eye, Yoochun noticed Changmin and Yusoon, his most timid cousin, sitting together in comfortable silence, exchanging pleasantries every few minutes. He tried not to scowl.
As they disembarked, Jaejoong whispered into Yoochun’s ear “did you apologize yet?”
Yoochun sighed. “Haven’t really gotten a chance to.”
“Well you better do it sometime today because it’s not going to sound sincere if you do it any later!”
“Jaejoong, where are you going? Exit C is this way, it’s the closest to the entrance of the palace museum!”
Jaejoong eyed Yoochun one last time. “Coming!” he called, and dragged Yoochun back toward the rest of the group.
Gyeongbokgong palace was astonishingly beautiful. Yoochun had never seen anything like this, save for the times he saw his mom watching Korean dramas on the living room TV. The elegant curves of the rooftops glistening bright red under the summer sun adorned intricately designed buildings, laid out one after another after another, and Yoochun found himself thinking that this place was truly fit for king.
Tourists and Seoul natives alike milled around the vast grounds, some in huge guided tour groups and some by themselves or in couples. Yoochun tried not to let himself get carried away from the group as he wandered about, jaw hanging loose while snapping pictures of everything. He wanted to peer into each of the thousands of rooms, but settled for being shown the major parts by a tour guide. Jaejoong and his sisters giggled at Yoochun’s dumbfounded expression. Even Changmin’s mouth twitched toward a smile.
Eventually Minkyung brought out her selfie stick and yelled at the group to gather around her. “Get closer!” she demanded, and Yoochun felt Changmin’s arm-warm and smooth-line up against his own as they followed the order. Jaejoong slung his arm around Yoochun’s shoulders and then they all smiled for the camera.
The crowds thinned considerably as the group of teenagers walked deeper into the palace. It was quieter and more tranquil in the grounds of what the inner court, where the Queen’s quarters once were. Further beyond that were the rooms of the crown princes and princesses. Yoochun could hardly quell his excitement, and his imagination ran wild with fantasies of royal romances unfolding in the quiet enclaves of this virtually undisturbed part of the palace.
“Hey, Jaejoong, do you think-” Yoochun began to ask, but then turned around to discover his cousin wasn’t there. “Huh..? Where’d he go…” he wondered aloud.
“Yusoon was looking extremely dehydrated and was feeling faint, so they went back to the front to get her water and food.” Changmin said.
Yoochun blinked and looked around. It was just the two of them.
“Oh, I see. Oh god, yeah that’s right…I don’t even think she ate breakfast this morning because we were in a hurry to leave, and she didn’t want to get left behind.”
“Hmm.”
“Should we go to them?”
Changmin only shrugged. “They said they’d be back soon. We can continue looking around, I guess.”
“Alright, then,” Yoochun said, his tone still cautious. Now was his chance to apologize for his poor behavior last night.
They wandered around the silent quarters. The only other person in sight was a security guard dressed in traditional clothes to add to the illusion of having gone all the way back in time to the Joseon era. Eventually, they happened upon a pond with a small bridge over it leading to a gazebo with benches.
“Wanna sit and wait for them?” Yoochun asked.
“Sure, my legs could use a break.”
They took their time crossing the bridge. Yoochun paused halfway over it to take more pictures, admiring the lilies and lotus flower blossoms that were floating across the waters. The humid air weighed down around them and Yoochun knew this was probably a perfect breeding ground for mosquitos. He’d probably be covered in bites later, but he didn’t care. This place was beautiful, and it was worth every drop of sweat shed that day.
Changmin sat in the corner of the gazebo, elbow resting on the wooden ledge behind the bench and chin resting on his hand as he looked out at the scenery around them. Yoochun joined him and sat across, shifting uncomfortably.
“Listen, Changmin…um…”
The younger boy turned to him, disinterest obvious on his face.
“About last night, I was out of line. I snapped at you and I’m sorry.”
“…”
“I, uh, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m not a bad person or anything so I’m hoping we can be friends this summer.”
Changmin sighed. “I know you’re not. I’m sorry, too. It’s not my place to judge people’s habits.”
Yoochun smiled. “Thanks.”
Changmin nodded and fished out his water bottle and an apple from his backpack. “You thirsty?”
“Uh, yes. I should’ve brought my own,” Yoochun said a little sheepishly.
“It’s fine, but waterfall please.”
Yoochun nodded and accepted the bottle. He poured a generous amount down his throat and then handed it back with a satisfied smile. Changmin’s eyes were fixated on him for a long moment and then he snatched his bottle back.
“Why is your Adam’s apple so freakishly huge?” he mumbled under his breath.
“What was that?”
“Hey guys, sorry we took so long!” Jaejoong called from across the bridge.
Yoochun and Changmin walked back to them. “Yusoon, are you okay?” Yoochun asked, voice full of brotherly concern.
She smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry for the scare. That was stupid of me to have left without eating.”
“Yeah it was!” Sunhee scolded, still holding her sister’s hand. “Never do that again! I thought you were going to pass out for real!”
“Sorry, sorry!”
“Anyways,” Sunhee huffed, “I think we’re done here, right? Do you guys wanna go to another tourist spot or are you done for the day?”
Yoochun glanced at Changmin, whose eyes no longer looked distant, whose body language was no longer stiff and uncomfortable, and whose hair and shirt was sticking to his body with sweat from walking around all day in the heat.
“I think I’m good for today,” Yoochun answered his cousin softly.
“Me too,” Changmin said. “I think I should get home soon.”
After dropping Changmin at his house, the cousins all walked home together, tired and ready for the delicious home-cooked meal that was surely waiting for them in their house.
They were greeted with a loud chorus of “you’re back!” and “you stink! Go shower!” Yoochun grinned and raced his cousins to the bathroom, but let Yusoon win since she probably needed the relaxation of it the most.
While waiting he found his mom in the living room, sitting on the floor while his cousin Ahyoung sat on the couch behind her. She was braiding his mother’s hair and chatting about school life, her hopes and dreams of becoming a politician, boys, and whatever else. Yoochun saw his mother laugh and reach behind her to pat Ahyoung’s leg. She was conversing so enthusiastically that Yoochun almost felt jealous. Mostly he was just happy to see her having such a nice time.
“Oh, Yoochun-ah! Welcome back.”
“Hey mom, how was your day?”
“It was lovely, thank you for asking. Come here and show me your pictures!” she said, patting the space on the floor next to her.
“I’m all sweaty and gross though…”
She just rolled her eyes. “When have I ever cared about that? I raised two boys, I’m used to grossness.”
Yoochun laughed and then sat down to show her his pictures. She kept adding comments like “oh, my baby looks so handsome~” and “wow, my nieces are so pretty,” and “you take such great pictures!” and then she’d pinch his cheek. Yoochun flicked his screen again to show a group photo and she admired it. “Oh, so that boy must be Changmin!”
“Yup, that’s him.”
“Are you two friends?”
“Hmm? Oh, I don’t know, I mean we just met yesterday.” Even as he said the words they sounded strange-could he really have only met Changmin the day before? It already felt like so much had happened between them: meeting, a dispute over differences, and then moving past that conflict to make up.
Then Yusoon came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, and Ahyoung shoved Yoochun’s back with her toe. “Okay, your turn. You seriously smell.”
The next day was a lazy one. Sunhee was a bit grumbly about it because she’d worked pretty hard to plan out their schedule to get as much sightseeing done as possible in as little time as possible, but Yoochun made it up to her by giving her some of the snacks he’d bought at the convenience store that first night.
Her eyes practically had stars in them as he offered her his unhealthiest junk food.
“Oh my god, my parents never let me eat this crap. Thank you!” she said, giving him a big hug.
He laughed because her hair tickled his neck and strained to get out of her grip. “It’s fine. We’ll go out again tomorrow, okay? I wanna see everything. Just…not today,” he said, yawning.
“Fair enough. I’m going to go watch dramas and eat these like the potato I am, and you can’t judge.”
Yoochun held up his hands in defeat. “No judgements.”
He lazed around in Jaejoong’s room, working on a song when he thought his cousin wasn’t looking. He wrote a line, crossed out a word, wrote a verse, then suddenly ripped out the whole page and threw it in the trash when he caught himself trying to describe a certain boy-next-door in his lyrics.
“Creative block?”
Yoochun shut his notebook and looked over at Jaejoong who was still immersed in his computer game.
“Uh, I guess so.”
“It’ll come back,” Jaejoong said confidently.
“You should show me some of yours.”
“No way in hell, buddy.”
Yoochun frowned. “Pleeease? I’ll love you forever.”
“Tempting, but no, you’re family. You’re obligated to love me anyways.”
Yoochun smiled. Family. Of course they were related, but to already be considered as part of the family he’d only spent a few days with was somewhat of an honor.
“Please please please?”
“No.”
“I won’t plagiarize lyrics! I value originality,” Yoochun said rather pretentiously.
“Dude, I said no! It’s embarrassing, they all suck.”
“I won’t judge. Mine are all shit, too. Here, take a look.”
Jaejoong shut his laptop and looked over with interest. He took Yoochun’s notebook and looked through it, eyes running back and forth as he read.
“They’re all in English.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah.”
“They’re good.”
“Really?!”
Jaejoong snapped the notebook shut and looked at him with mock anger. “Yes, damn it! Now I’m definitely never going to show you mine. You’ll laugh.”
Yoochun clutched his notebook of songs to his chest. “I won’t. I hope you’ll show me before I go back.”
“We’ll see, Park!” he shouted, then returned to his game.
That evening, Yoohwan called Yoochun.
“Hey Rickster, what’s up?”
“Uh, not much I guess. The program is cool, everyone’s really nice.”
“I’m happy to hear that. Are you doing okay at Dad’s house?”
Yoohwan was silent for a moment. “Hyung…”
“Tell me honestly, Ricky. Don’t hide anything.”
His brother sniffled on the other end of the line. “Why doesn’t he love us?”
Yoochun felt his heart shatter like glass. His insides twisted painfully and filled him with grief before the thought of his father mistreating his brother replaced that grief with red-hot anger.
“What did he say?”
“You know, the usual stuff. Mom’s a bitch who didn’t understand him, we’re ungrateful for all he’s done for us. I actually was so confused when he said that that I couldn’t even get sad, haha. What has he ever done for us? And then the usual crap about how he wants to kill himself because his life sucks, and so on and so forth…”
“Oh god. I’m so sorry I’m not there for you right now. He’s crazy. I love you, okay? I love you and mom loves you and all these relatives here in Korea-they’ve never met you but they love you too. I showed them pictures and they ask about you every day and why you’re not here, too. You are so, so loved and valued in this world. Please don’t think you aren’t.”
The sniffles on the other end quieted and drew to a close. “Okay, thanks. Are you having fun over there?”
It was so like Ricky to ask about others well-being even when he was going through something tough. He was such an angel and didn’t deserve all the crap their dad gave them.
“Yeah, I am. Our cousins are so great, Rick. You’d love them. It would’ve been so fun if you came too.”
“Next time, then.”
“I’ll hold you to it!”
It was hard for Yoochun to fall asleep that night. He tossed and turned in his bed and tried to think of anything but his poor brother stuck in their father’s house. He hoped and prayed that his dad wouldn’t go beyond verbal abuse. He prayed to every god he could think of that their father wouldn’t lay a single finger on Yoohwan because if he did Yoochun would gladly become a murderer without regret or guilt.
He stared out the open window and tried to calm his thoughts, but to no avail. His heart was frustrated and his head pounded with unwanted worries. He cried out in frustration into his pillow and then the tears spilled over, hot and numerous.
“Yoochun-ah?” Jaejoong mumbled sleepily.
Yoochun clamped his hand over his mouth and nose, trying not to breathe so as not to wake his cousin. It was too late, though.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing-I…” he tried to say, but his voice was thick with tears.
“Oh my god,” Jaejoong said, sitting up in his bed. “You’re crying? Dude, what happened?”
Now that Jaejoong had already seen him there was no point in trying to hold back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” he sobbed.
“Shut up, don’t apologize. What’s wrong?”
“S-so uh, you know my mom and dad are divorced, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well it’s ‘cause my dad’s always been a giant dick. I mean, he’s absolutely crazy and needs to get help but won’t, so he just gets crazier and my brother’s staying with him this summer and I just feel so fucking awful that he has to live with that bastard and I’m not there to protect him.”
Jaejoong listened and nodded and let him cry it out. He didn’t respond much or try to fix anything, he just listened.
“He’ll be okay.”
“I wish he was here. I miss him so much.”
Jaejoong handed Yoochun some tissues. “Let’s video call him in the morning, okay? I’m sure he wants to see you too.”
Yoochun sniffed a few more times and blew his nose. “Okay. Thanks, Jaejoong.”
“Idiot. No need to thank me.”
They did video call Yoohwan in the morning and it brought a smile to everyone’s face. Inju almost teared up because of how much she missed her youngest child.
“Are you doing okay, baby?”
“I’m fine, mom.”
All the cousins tried to crowd behind the view of Yoochun’s phone at once, trying to say hello. Yoohwan laughed at the ridiculous picture of it and tried his best to greet them in Korean.
Eventually, he had to go to bed as it was getting really late in the states and he still had volunteering in the morning. They hung up and Yoochun felt just a bit better.
The long summer days passed none too quickly. Some days Yoochun lazed about with his cousins, other days they went out to do more sightseeing, eating, or shopping with Changmin and sometimes Junsu and Yunho or some of Jaejoong’s other friends from school.
In a short two weeks, Jaejoong had improved Yoochun’s dressing so much that his mom hugged Jaejoong and then went so far as to call him a godsend.
“I’ve been trying to get him to wear cute stuff like this for ages, thank you Jaejoong.”
“It’s no problem, Auntie.”
Yoochun huffed in embarrassment, but he was still happy. Anything that made his mom happy made him happy, too.
It was a hot, humid evening and Yoochun was playing soccer with Jaejoong and Changmin against Junsu, Yunho, and Sunhee. Yoochun’s team was losing by a lot but he didn’t care at all, he was having a good time. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten to do something like this-so carefree and fun and not involving sitting at a desk and doing something related to academics. He felt alive.
“Hey, time out! My mom’s calling me,” Jaejoong said.
Junsu caught the pass from Sunhee under his cleats and caught his breath. Changmin bent at the waist and put his hands on his knees as he tried to get his panting under control. Yoochun grinned and went to his side, allowing the younger boy to lean against him. He was sweating like crazy but for some reason he still smelled good to Yoochun.
“Mom? What’s up?”
The others listened in silence, trying to hold back their laughter at the memory of Yunho falling on his face earlier. At least he was okay physically; only his ego was bruised.
“What?!” Jaejoong shrieked into his phone. Yoochun jerked his head in Jaejoong’s direction and saw his shocked expression. He ran over to him and asked what was wrong.
“O-okay,” Jaejoong said, eyes watering, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
He hung up and looked at Yoochun, eyes frenzied with worry. “M-my dad f-fell off a ladder when he was organizing stuff at our st-st-store. He’s in the hospital right now for some broken limbs and maybe a concussion. We have to go to the ho-hospital. N-now.” As he finished the sentence his tears broke loose and Yoochun grabbed his hand.
“Guys, did you hear that? Let’s help Jaejoong and Sunhee get there,” Yoochun called to the rest. Sunhee had tears in her eyes, but the boys had determined looks on their faces. Junsu put his arm around Sunhee’s shoulders and they all began to walk to the bus stop. It was probably an odd site-five sweaty teenage boys and one sweaty girl, trying to get on the bus to go to the hospital. They didn’t care. They were friends and they were going to help each other no matter what.
On the bus people wrinkled their noses at them. There were only two empty seats and the group forced Jaejoong and Sunhee to sit while the other four stood around them so the brother and sister could cry without worrying about attracting attention.
At the hospital, the four waited outside while Jaejoong and Sunhee went in to see their dad. “Yoochun, you can come in, too.” Jaejoong said, his voice small and quivering.
It wasn’t a pretty sight. His uncle was wrapped in casts on one leg and one arm. There were probably several more bandages under the blankets and hospital night gown. He was drugged up on pain medications so he wasn’t really conscious, either.
But it wasn’t anything life threatening. It would be okay.
After a while Jaejoong went back outside, and after a few more minutes Yoochun followed. He saw Yunho’s arms wrapped around Jaejoong’s waist and Jaejoong’s head buried in Yunho’s shoulder. Jaejoong was no longer shaking with sobs; instead, he just wanted the comfort of being held. People gave them odd glances as they passed by but Yunho glared at them intensely, as if he was giving a whole speech on you don’t his situation so leave him the fuck alone with just his eyes.
Changmin walked to Yoochun timidly. “He’ll be fine, right?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. It’s just hard to see him like that, though.”
Jaejoong turned around, still holding onto Yunho’s hand. “I’ll probably have to start working at our store now that dad can’t. Some of my sisters, too, if they want.”
“I’ll do it. I wanna help if I can,” Yoochun blurted.
“You can’t. You don’t have a working visa and you could get in trouble if we were caught. But thank you for offering,” Jaejoong said, smiling sadly. “I just feel bad, though, because I won’t be able to hang out with you as much anymore.”
Yoochun shook his head. “Don’t feel bad, please. You’ve already taught me how to use the transportation here, showed me where the good eats are, and gotten me a hot new wardrobe. I’ll be fine. I’ll hang out with these guys if I get bored of bothering you at work.” He grinned.
Jaejoong allowed himself a small laugh. “Yoochun-ah…thank you.”
Things were a little different from that day on. Jaejoong woke up several hours before Yoochun to get ready and go work at their family’s gardening store. It was kind of an ironic business because they lived in the middle of a concrete jungle, but they were successful enough. Every household wanted their own precious garden, even if it was just a basin of dirt with a few flowers on the outside of a windowsill. They all wanted something they could grow themselves with care and attention and to enjoy the reward of a job well done in the form of a beautiful living thing.
True to his word, Yoochun bothered Jaejoong on the job at every given opportunity. He even brought Jaejoong lunch on some days, and during his break they’d eat together and smoke for a while.
“I miss hanging out with you,” Jaejoong said sadly.
“I miss you too, hyung.”
“I miss hanging out with all of you. You’re the only one that visits. Yunho came a couple times but he was kind of weird.”
Yoochun fought back a knowing giggle. “Oh, he did? Interesting.”
“By the way, I want to ask you something. But don’t get offended, okay?”
“Shoot.”
“Are you gay?”
Yoochun choked on nothing and spluttered out half-formed denials. “What? No way!”
“Chill! I was just wondering.”
“What led you to think that? Have I ever expressed interest in a guy here?”
“Not really, but you haven’t expressed interest in any girls either. And we’ve seen a lot of pretty girls. And a lot of them have checked you out and flirted with you. And you don’t live with girls in the states so you’re not used to them so you should have some kind of reaction.”
Damn, that’s good logic, Yoochun thought. “Well the same happens to you and you don’t have a girlfriend!”
“Yeah, that’s because I am gay.” Jaejoong stated plainly.
“Oh.”
“That’s not a problem, right?”
Yoochun laughed. “No, it’s not, I promise. Does your family know though?”
Jaejoong grimaced. “No, they don’t. Only two of my sisters do. My parents and grandparents have no idea.” He sighed.
Yoochun nodded in silent understanding. “One day, buddy. It’ll be okay.”
Jaejoong looked off to the side. “I wish I could believe you.”
After a few more minutes, Jaejoong’s break was over and it was time for him to get back to work. “Yoochun,” he said, “do me a favor.”
“What’s up?”
“Hang out with Changmin when you’re not busy. That kid is going through some rough shit right now and I don’t want him to feel alone when he doesn’t need to.”
“Yeah…okay, you’re right. I will. Do you know what he likes to do?”
Jaejoong smiled. “No idea. You should ask him and find out.”
And so, the following day, Yoochun woke up bright and early and headed over to Changmin’s house after a light breakfast.
He opened the door, still wearing pajamas, and raised an eyebrow. “Hey Yoochun. No Jaejoong today?”
“Nope, he’s working again. But uh, I was wondering. Do you wanna hang out today? I’m getting kind of bored staying at home while Jaejoong works.”
“So you just asked me to hang out because you were bored.” Changmin asked, unimpressed. Yoochun swallowed. Changmin’s pajamas were made of really thin, worn cotton and they clung to his slender frame. His hair was still disheveled and his voice was rough with residual sleepiness.
“Yeah-wait, no. No, I actually want to hang out with you.”
Changmin burst into laughter. “I was just messing with you, but thanks, I’m flattered.”
“Why you little…!”
“Sure, I can hang out. What do you want to do?”
“Oh, uh, actually, I was going to ask you what you wanted to do since Jaejoong and I have kind of been dragging you around since the summer started.”
“Yes, you have.”
“Sorry…” Yoochun mumbled.
“Just hang on for a bit while I get ready. You can come wait inside if you want.”
Yoochun thanked him and took off his shoes to step inside the house. He looked around and the first thing he noticed was how neat it was compared to Jaejoong’s place. Which was expected, of course, considering the difference in family size. But still, there was no mess at all. It was pleasing to the eye, but it felt cold somehow.
A woman, Changmin’s mother, came out of her bedroom and regarded Yoochun with careful eyes.
“Um, hello. I’m Park Yoochun, the cousin of Jaejoong who lives next door. Nice to meet you.”
“Hello,” was all the response she gave.
Just when the awkward silence was about to cause Yoochun to break into a sweat, Changmin came down the stairs, cap on his head and bag on his shoulders.
“Let’s go, Yoochun.”
“Where are you going, Changmin?”
“Oh, mom. Yoochun and I are going out today for a while.”
“Do you really think it’s appropriate for you to be going out so much in this situation?” his mother pressed icily.
Changmin tensed visibly. Yoochun felt out of place-he shouldn’t have come in. Whatever was going on was a family matter that he had no part in.
“I’ll be back in a few hours.” Changmin bit out. “Let’s go, Yoochun.”
Yoochun bowed his way out and followed Changmin out the door. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Changmin’s shoulders were tense as he forged ahead.
“Everything okay?”
“Fine.”
“Oookay. So where are we going?”
“Anywhere. Give me a second. I’ll decide in a minute just…” he trailed off. Yoochun decided not to press. Instead, he walked alongside Changmin, and, after a few minutes, hesitantly slung an arm around his shoulders. They were trembling.
They ended up at the movies. Changmin bought two tickets for the action-packed summer blockbuster before Yoochun could even pull his wallet out of his pocket. To get him back for that, Yoochun bought Changmin the biggest bucket of buttery popcorn there was. He’d barely have enough money to get home, but seeing Changmin’s eyes light up was worth it. He looked his age when he smiled like that.
The movie was perfectly paced with action, suspense, car chases and mystery. Yoochun and Changmin were on the edge of their seats at some parts, tensed in anticipation. During other parts they were laughing so hard their stomachs hurt. Changmin ate the popcorn continuously and halfway through realized he was being rude and offered some to Yoochun. Then Changmin offered Yoochun his drink, too, and this time he didn’t tell Yoochun to waterfall the drink like he did when they were at Gyeongbeokgong.
At the end of the movie, Changmin disposed of the empty popcorn bag and made a quick stop in the restroom before he and Yoochun left the theatre. Yoochun had a fleeting thought of following him in but then slapped his forehead with his palm and shook his head vigorously. What’s wrong with me?
By the time they finally exited, the day had turned to dusk. The heat of the day withered away, leaving a cool breeze and an enchanting purple sky in its place. The clouds moved swiftly through the dimming sky, and the moon was extraordinarily bright for so early in the evening.
“I didn’t realize it had gotten this late…” Changmin said.
“Do you need to be home soon?” Yoochun asked, but he found himself hoping the answer would be no.
“I do, but…I don’t want to go home.”
“Changmin-ah…”
“S-sorry…”
“What are you apologizing for? I understand that feeling.”
Changmin looked to Yoochun. “You do?”
Yoochun nodded. “I understand…when there’s a situation at home that’s not pleasant to be around.”
“It sucks.”
“That it does.”
They boarded the bus in silence and found empty seats in the back to sit in. It would be a twenty minute ride to get back to their homes. Yoochun sneaked a glance at Changmin. The younger was slouched inward and he wore a defeated, saddened expression. The bus rolled to a slow stop, and Yoochun made a decision. Suddenly, he grabbed Changmin by the wrist and pulled him up.
“We’re getting off here.”
“What? It’s not our stop yet.”
“I know. But you said you didn’t want to go home yet, and I don’t have to be home until late, so let’s stay out for a while longer.”
“But Yoochun, my mom will get so mad,” Changmin protested.
“Don’t worry, I’ll think of something!” Yoochun said, eyes sparkling with mischief. The bus’s doors opened with a loud whoosh, and Yoochun dragged Changmin off before the younger boy could say anything else.
Yoochun had been taking this bus route frequently during the few weeks he’d been in Korea. He knew there was a huge park nearby somewhere. Not the lame kind with only a few slides and swings but the really beautiful, expansive kind with flower gardens, soccer fields, basketball hoops and even food trucks in the corners.
The sky grew steadily darker with the approaching night and the streetlamps began to light. Changmin trailed behind Yoochun by a few steps, asking where they were heading every few minutes.
“We’re almost there!”
“Are you sure you’re not getting us lost?”
“Aha! Here we are.” Yoochun announced proudly. They had come up by the back entrance of the park, where there was a large expanse of green and a trail leading down the middle lined by bushes that were decorated with all kinds of flowers. Much further in, benches and a playground were visible. In the far corner there was an ice cream truck with the ‘OPEN’ sign still lit.
“Let’s take a walk.”
“We have been walking,” Changmin argued.
“Then let’s walk and talk.”
“Talk about what?” Changmin asked, but he followed Yoochun onto the park trail anyways.
“About whatever you want to talk about.”
Changmin glanced at the bushes of gardenias on the side of the trail. He leaned down to smell the fragrant white flowers, now in full bloom, and inhaled deeply. He picked one off, then plucked another.
“For my sisters.”
“That’s nice of you. You guys get along well?”
“Yeah, we do. The two of them bicker a lot, but they’re best friends. And the older one tries to argue with me sometimes, sometimes she even tries to wrestle me.” Changmin laughs. “When we were all younger I’d let her win sometimes.”
“They like flowers?”
“Hmm? Oh, I don’t actually think they care. But, since the situation is what it is, they can’t get out much. I just want to do something for them.”
“What is the situation?”
Changmin eyed Yoochun warily as they continued walking. The cicadas hiding in the trees all around them chirped loudly and the breeze rustled the leaves. Yoochun’s long hair swished around his face in the wind, covering his eyes every few seconds. Their shoes clapped against the stone pathway as they walked.
“Your cousins haven’t told you?”
Yoochun shrugged. “They might have mentioned something, but I’d like to hear you talk about your own situation. Only if you want to share, though.”
Changmin sighed. They came to a bench and Yoochun stopped in front of it. “Let’s sit,” he suggested.
“He’s sick. My dad. Cancer.” Changmin looked down at his shoes, seeing nothing but the images inside his head of his grey-haired father. “He refuses all modern treatment. No chemotherapy, no surgery.”
“…”
“That’s why things are kind of tense at home.”
As he spoke, Changmin’s head lowered. His hair wasn’t as long as Yoochun’s, but it still fell around his face, covering his expression.
“Wait here,” Yoochun said. Changmin looked up to see Yoochun jog towards the ice cream truck. He couldn’t hear too clearly over the wind and cicadas, nor did he have enough energy left in him to try to hear, but it looked like Yoochun was arguing with the ice cream truck vendor. He looked kind of funny, using hands in exaggerated motions and stamping his foot like a child throwing a tantrum. Eventually the vendor rubbed his temples with his hands and Yoochun grinned in what appeared to be victory.
As he waited, Changmin smelled the flower in his hand for the nth time. It was an intense fragrance, heavy and dense in the midst of its summertime full bloom. He hoped his sisters would like it.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” came Yoochun’s voice as he jogged back to the bench with one ice cream cone in each hand.
“How much was mine?” Changmin asked, already pulling out his wallet.
“Not telling. It’s my treat. Take it.” Yoochun said, grinning from ear to ear.
“…Thanks.” Changmin gave in, accepting the ice cream cone from Yoochun. “Why did it look like you were arguing with that guy?” he asked as he took a lick. It was mint chocolate chip flavor, definitely one of his favorites.
“I told him to add fudge at the bottom and he tried to make it way more expensive than it should be so I had to bargain the price down.”
“Oh? I’m impressed, the American is fluent enough to bargain.”
Yoochun laughed and shoved his shoulder against Changmin’s playfully. “Shut up and eat it before it melts.”
“Hah. Am I a kid or what? Getting me ice cream to make me feel better.” Changmin looked down again.
For a few moments, Yoochun was silent. Then he put a hand on Changmin’s shoulder and looked Changmin in the eyes. Those eyes reflected the bright moon above and stared back at Yoochun, wide open and wondering. “You’re allowed to be a kid, Changmin-ah.”
“…It’s good ice cream.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
“Hey, you’re welcome, I’m just happy that-woah, hey, what? You’re already finished?!”
Changmin wiped his hands on Yoochun’s pants and then belched loudly. “I said it was good ice cream.”
Yoochun sputtered confused babble for another minute until Changmin asked “are you going to keep mumbling hysterical nonsense or are you going to eat that, because seriously it was really good and I’ll eat more.”
“I’m eating it!” Yoochun huffed, and then took a bit bite out of his ice cream. “Oh, fuck, brainfreeze!”
“Language, Yoochun, there are kids around here!”
“Brat.”
“Since you said I could be a kid, I’m going to those swings over there. Race you?”
“I’m not finished with my ice cream!”
“Not my problem.” Changmin shrugged, then took off. Yoochun ran as fast as he could with an ice cream cone in one hand, so naturally Changmin won and got the cleaner-looking swing.
“I suppose you want me to push you too,” Yoochun grumbled.
“No, these legs aren’t painted on. I can use them.”
And what legs they were. Yoochun hadn’t really noticed before but as Changmin swung back and forth, extending his legs to go higher and higher, Yoochun realized that those legs went on for miles. They were slender and elegant and they were the longest legs Yoochun had ever seen.
“I’m going to jump off.” Changmin said.
“What? No, that’s dangerous!”
“Relax, I know what I’m doing.”
“Seriously Changmin, don’t. You don’t want to get injured.”
Changmin jumped. And he landed neatly on his feet, knees bent and arms out.
“Ta-dah.”
“HEY, WHAT THE HELL MAN?” Yoochun yelled, but Changmin only laughed in response. Yoochun tossed his ice cream cone in the trash can and then slung an arm around Changmin’s neck and brought him in for a good old-fashioned noogie.
“Stop!” Changmin whined, but he was laughing the whole way through.
“Okay, kid, you’ve had your fun.”
“We have to go back now?” Changmin asked, and he was pouting.
“Ugh, when did I become the responsible one? Yes, I think we do.”
“Okay.” All of a sudden, Changmin’s voice was small again. They walked to the bus stop and began to wait.
“You think you’ll be okay going back home?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
Yoochun sighed. This was reminding him too much of Yoohwan. His heart felt heavy. Why did parents always have to take out their shit on their kids?
“Give me your phone, Changmin-ah.”
Yoochun put his number into the younger boy’s phone and then handed it back to him.
“Let’s hang out again soon, okay?”
The bus pulled up to the sidewalk. Changmin stared at the new number in his phone. Park Yoochun <(^_^)> <3, it read. Unable to help himself, Changmin smiled. He bumped his side against Yoochun’s playfully. “Sounds good, hyung.”
Back at home, after a big dinner of hot pot with his family, Yoochun was scrolling through his texts in his room. Jaejoong walked in soon after, toweling off his hair which was still wet from a suspiciously long shower.
“So, how was the date with Changmin?”
“Wasn’t a date.”
“Uh-huh.”
Yoochun could hear the smile in Jaejoong’s voice without turning around to see it. “It was good. We had a good time.”
“I’m really glad to hear it.”
Yoochun tossed his phone into a corner and laid back on his sheets. “Yeah it was…really fun. We went to the movies, the park, had ice cream.” His voice sounded far-off. “But enough about it. How was work? Did Yunho come by again today?”
Jaejoong flopped onto his bed. “No.”
“Someone sounds disappointed.”
“I’m not disappointed, okay!”
Now it was Yoochun’s turn to say “Uh-huh.”
“Look,” Jaejoong sighed. “I just got used to him coming by, that’s all. He’d been coming by pretty much every other day or so, so I just…kind of…”
“You were expecting him.”
“Yeah…and then you were with Changmin today, and I don’t know, some customers were really rude and also I dropped a potted plant and had to clean it up and I guess it’s just kind of been not the greatest day and on the way home a bird took a shit on my new shoes, so that’s why I was so long in the bathroom, ‘cuz I was trying to clean bird shit off of it and-”
“Hey,” Yoochun interrupted softly, “sounds like you had the worst day ever.”
“Yeah, I did, thanks,” Jaejoong said thickly.
“You know what might make you feel better?”
Jaejoong sniffed and looked up. “What?”
“I think Yunho’s calling you.”
“What-oh!” Jaejoong grabbed his phone, which he hadn’t noticed was vibrating, and answered it. “Hey, Yunho, what’s up?”
In their small, quiet room, Yoochun could hear Yunho speaking on the other end.
“Jaejoong, hey, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make it to the store today, I really wanted to.”
“O-oh, that’s okay. Um, it was busy anyways.”
“Oh, I see…”
There was a pregnant pause. Yoochun motioned frantically for Jaejoong to speak again.
“Actually, it was a pretty sucky day at work. And, uh, I guess…I found myself wishing I could see you.”
“R-really?”
Jaejoong chuckled. “Yeah, really. I like when you visit me. I need a break from Yoochun’s ‘how do you say this in Korean?’ questions anyways.” Yoochun threw a pillow at Jaejoong for that one.
“Aah, haha, I see. Well, um, to make it up to you then, could I take you out for dinner sometime?”
Jaejoong’s jaw dropped. He looked at Yoochun and mouthed ‘ohmygodwhatthehell didhejustaskmeoutwhatdoisay???” Yoochun waved his arms up and down and mouthed emphatically: ‘hello!!! Say yes!!!’
“Sure, I’d like that. Um, could you pick me up from work on Friday?”
“Yes, absolutely! I will do that. See you then.”
“Great. Yeah, see you then. Bye.”
“Good night, Jaejoong.”
Jaejoong clutched at his chest dramatically and pretended to swoon. Yoochun clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter.
“Good night, Yunho.” Jaejoong hung up the phone and looked at Yoochun with a huge smile on his face. Yoochun went in for a fist bump which Jaejoong met and then he flung his arms around Yoochun in his excitement.
“Oh my god Yunho asked me out!”
Yoochun shrieked at the sudden assault and tried to fight his cousin off. “Yes, he did. What are you going to wear?”
“Shit, why’d I tell him to pick me up from work? I’ll be wearing that ugly orange apron and functional, baggy clothes! Yoochun! What do I do?”
“Take off the apron and change like an hour before he gets there?”
“Oh, you’re a genius. I’ll do that.”
“Alright then can you get off of me?”
Jaejoong only laughed and fell onto the bed next to Yoochun. “Let’s call your brother.”
“Okay.” Yoochun dialed Yoohwan and after a few rings, the younger Park picked up, gretting Yoochun enthusiastically. “Hey there, Rickster. How was your day?”
“It was good. Yours?”
Jaejoong snatched the phone. “YOUR BROTHER WENT ON A DATE TODAY!”
“I DID NOT! I HUNG OUT WITH HIM. IT’S NOT A DATE.” Yoochun reached for his phone but Jaejoong kept it just out of grasp, telling Yoohwan all about Yoochun’s outing with Changmin. “Jaejoong, give it to me!”
“Fine, fine! Here you go.”
“Hey, Yoohwan-ie, sorry about that. He’s a bit excited because he actually just got asked out.”
“Good, because I mean…I know you’re hanging out with Jaejoong and everyone these days, and I’m not with you, but I still hope…that if there was something going on in your life-like if you liked someone or wanted to go out with someone-I’d still want to be the first to know. I’m your brother.”
“Oh, Ricky, of course. You’d be the first one I tell. Same goes to you.”
“So it really wasn’t a date? The one you went on today?”
“Huh? No, of course not! It was with a guy. We just hung out. He’s Jaejoong’s neighbor.”
“Dates are still dates when they’re with guys.”
“What?” Yoochun couldn’t really comprehend what he was hearing. “Yoohwan, what are you talking about? I don’t go on dates with guys. I date girls. I like girls, remember?”
“I know. I’m just saying, if something like that were to happen…I just want to be the first to know. Not Jaejoong or Sunhee or Ahyoung. I’m your brother.”
Yoochun still couldn’t wrap his head around the conversation he was having. “Well, yeah, I’ll tell you. But so far, nothing’s new.”
“Okay, hyung. I’ll talk to you again soon. Gotta go to bed.”
“Alright, Rick. Hey, how is it with Dad?”
Yoohwan sighed on the other end of the line and Yoochun’s heart clenched as a reflex. “I wish I was in Korea with you.”
Yoochun tried not to tear up. “I’ll be home soon. I love you.”
“You too, hyung. Sleep well.”
“Have a good day at the hospital.”
Yoochun hung up the phone and Jaejoong hugged him. He stroked Yoochun’s hair gently. Three weeks ago, this would have been weird, but now, Yoochun curls into the comfort and clings to his cousin-his second brother.
“He’ll be rewarded.”
“What?”
“Because he made a sacrifice,” Jaejoong said. “He chose to undergo a tough living situation in order to work towards his future. He will definitely be rewarded.”
Yoochun sniffed quietly. “By who?”
“The universe. God. Karma. Whatever you believe in. But whatever force is out there, it doesn’t let these things go unnoticed. I promise. His reward for enduring this will be worth every minute tenfold.”
“You really think so, Jaejoong-hyung?”
Jaejoong smiles. Yoochun had starting using the word ‘hyung’ when he was feeling particularly vulnerable or helpless. It was one of his quirks that Jaejoong had learned to love over the past few weeks together with his cousin. “I know so. Go to sleep.”
“Wait.” Yoochun fished out his phone from between the pillows. “Changmin texted me so I’d have his number. He said ‘I had fun today. See you next time.’”
“Ooh, you guys are cute.”
Yoochun shoved at him. “What should I text back?”
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Because…I don’t know.”
“You wouldn’t ask that if you didn’t like him.”
“SHUT UP, JAEJOONG.”
“YOU SHUT UP, EVERYONE’S TRYING TO SLEEP.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll just…” Yoochun trailed off as he typed a quick: ‘Same here. I really enjoyed today with you. Good night.’ and then turned his phone off. He yawned, and it made Jaejoong yawn too. Exhausted from a long day, they closed their eyes and dozed off together on the bed. Outside their open bedroom window, the cicadas chirped and the stars twinkled brightly in the navy ink sky. It was the first time they shared a bed that summer, and far from the last.
a/n: here's chapter two. i hope you like it. if you did, please leave a comment.
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