*It's day three. This is the longest I've ever gone without a cigarette in over 2 years*
And this people, is why I am cranky. I'm past being Oscar the Grouch angry. I'm past Archie Bunker on "All in the Family" angry. I'm full blown nuts right now. And I can feel it in the back of my brain pissing me off.
What's pissing me off right now? My toes. I feel like I want to crack them right? But I can't. And thus, I am in a really bad mood.
I've been reading Dooce.com for the past few days, and am amazed at how well this woman writes. I'd love to read some of her fiction. And I've never really had a favorite female author, but this is one I could grow to enjoy.
It's cold today too. That's another thing that is pissing me off. It's cold and rainy. Those two things combined should have me pissed off real bad. But uber pissing me off is cold, rain and wind blowing on you all at the same time, so that way you get a cold rain soaking from different directions, and are continuously soaked even with the umbrella. And you're body is tired, and you're cranky because you haven't had a cigarette in three days, and you want to shoot someone if they open their mouth one more goddamned time to ask you for something because for some fucking reason they just can't do it themselves. Like for instance, "Hey Kevin, can you come here for a second and try to fix my fucking computer?" You know what, it's called the fucking internet. I used it to learn about most of the stuff I've done to fix computers. Some of it is just intuitive anyhow. It's not that fucking hard. Learn bitch, and quit asking me for favors.
Another thing that is pissing me off is the fact that all my smoker buddies from the past are now complete and utter assholes. I shaved my head right, giving myself a haircut and taking away the three pounds of hair that adorned my head, and one of them was like "oooh, I wanna rub it!" This of course, was while I was on the phone with my mom trying to pay attention to what she was talking about, which had to do with the recent passing of a family member and how other family members were upset, etc.
So yeah. I'm a bit pissed off about everything right now. Even with the Wellbutrin.
But I'm fighting the fight. I'm going to do this, even if it mames me. Not killing, but maming is OK.
Oh, and another thing that pisses me off is that now when I have the urge to smoke, I have to remind myself that I don't have any cigarettes, no fucking car to get them with, a half-ass lighter to light them with, and of course, am trying to quit so my body is confused as hell while my mind is going "we don't need one anyomre." And my body, if it could communicate, is saying something along these lines, "Well, we're so used to having one every two hours, what are we supposed to do now? Relax? We forgot how to do that."
So yeah, everything is tense right now. And hard. And well, just nuts. I should have locked myself in my room with enough supplies to last three days and told everyone to fuck off. Or waited until Spring Break to do that. Either way, I'm quitting now, and it is well, not fun. Because no one like a fucking quitter.
I'm hungry now. Food.
What's pissing me off right now? My toes. I feel like I want to crack them right? But I can't. And thus, I am in a really bad mood.
I've been reading Dooce.com for the past few days, and am amazed at how well this woman writes. I'd love to read some of her fiction. And I've never really had a favorite female author, but this is one I could grow to enjoy.
It's cold today too. That's another thing that is pissing me off. It's cold and rainy. Those two things combined should have me pissed off real bad. But uber pissing me off is cold, rain and wind blowing on you all at the same time, so that way you get a cold rain soaking from different directions, and are continuously soaked even with the umbrella. And you're body is tired, and you're cranky because you haven't had a cigarette in three days, and you want to shoot someone if they open their mouth one more goddamned time to ask you for something because for some fucking reason they just can't do it themselves. Like for instance, "Hey Kevin, can you come here for a second and try to fix my fucking computer?" You know what, it's called the fucking internet. I used it to learn about most of the stuff I've done to fix computers. Some of it is just intuitive anyhow. It's not that fucking hard. Learn bitch, and quit asking me for favors.
Another thing that is pissing me off is the fact that all my smoker buddies from the past are now complete and utter assholes. I shaved my head right, giving myself a haircut and taking away the three pounds of hair that adorned my head, and one of them was like "oooh, I wanna rub it!" This of course, was while I was on the phone with my mom trying to pay attention to what she was talking about, which had to do with the recent passing of a family member and how other family members were upset, etc.
So yeah. I'm a bit pissed off about everything right now. Even with the Wellbutrin.
But I'm fighting the fight. I'm going to do this, even if it mames me. Not killing, but maming is OK.
Oh, and another thing that pisses me off is that now when I have the urge to smoke, I have to remind myself that I don't have any cigarettes, no fucking car to get them with, a half-ass lighter to light them with, and of course, am trying to quit so my body is confused as hell while my mind is going "we don't need one anyomre." And my body, if it could communicate, is saying something along these lines, "Well, we're so used to having one every two hours, what are we supposed to do now? Relax? We forgot how to do that."
So yeah, everything is tense right now. And hard. And well, just nuts. I should have locked myself in my room with enough supplies to last three days and told everyone to fuck off. Or waited until Spring Break to do that. Either way, I'm quitting now, and it is well, not fun. Because no one like a fucking quitter.
I'm hungry now. Food.