Where did my peace go?
Fewer breaks leave me feeling much less peaceful than I have been of late. Seriously, I've been feeling more peaceful lately than ever before in my *entire* life. Even with a go-go-go toddler. While the hurricane of life swirled around me, I felt unbelievably in-touch with the inner calm of the eye.
But nothing lasts forever...
misslynx's crazy work schedule, plus her being sick, quite short on sleep and low-energy, meant that we all opted for her to come here to visit with psychic fire child, instead of her taking him to her place or wherever, which is what she usually does. This alone meant that I didn't get my mid-week, three-hour break from parenting that I have grown accustomed to.
Add in the fact that the boy's naps have been 30 minutes shorter than they used to be (as of a week ago), without those 30 minutes being tacked onto his nighttime schedule, and you end up with a mama who isn't getting the rest she's used to getting.
And with him not going to sleep this evening when he normally does (between 9:30 and 10:30 -- he's STILL AWAKE AS I TYPE), I feel swept up into the hurricane, where I have been for most of my life. I don't like it here. I like it in the calm zone. That was oh so nice! And now I feel like I'll be striving to get back to that happy place for the rest of my life. That place where I accomplished things like making dinner and washing dishes and doing laundry, all during the day (most of it during A's naps), so that I could mostly relax when N got home. Those days have vanished.
Maybe they'll return once A's cold has subsided. But he's started teething again -- canines this time, as the first molars have all broken through -- so I somehow doubt that things will get better.
Things have kicked into high-stress mode at optimystik's work, due to the combination of month-end and semi-annual reporting. That fun should last until mid-January. We get a small blip of a wholly different kind of stress during the week of xmess, when we fly south to KC to visit with my family. With the exception of my mother, they haven't seen me in four years (some of them, not for six years), nor have they met N or A. Oh, the fun that awaits.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really don't like this time of year. Part of me loves it, but the reality of life at this time of year and all the stress that it holds makes it so impossible to find peace.
I've tasted it, though. It's creamy and soft and delightful and satisfying. I'm glad I savoured it while it lasted. I hope I can remember it well enough to get me through the rough waters ahead.
But nothing lasts forever...
misslynx's crazy work schedule, plus her being sick, quite short on sleep and low-energy, meant that we all opted for her to come here to visit with psychic fire child, instead of her taking him to her place or wherever, which is what she usually does. This alone meant that I didn't get my mid-week, three-hour break from parenting that I have grown accustomed to.
Add in the fact that the boy's naps have been 30 minutes shorter than they used to be (as of a week ago), without those 30 minutes being tacked onto his nighttime schedule, and you end up with a mama who isn't getting the rest she's used to getting.
And with him not going to sleep this evening when he normally does (between 9:30 and 10:30 -- he's STILL AWAKE AS I TYPE), I feel swept up into the hurricane, where I have been for most of my life. I don't like it here. I like it in the calm zone. That was oh so nice! And now I feel like I'll be striving to get back to that happy place for the rest of my life. That place where I accomplished things like making dinner and washing dishes and doing laundry, all during the day (most of it during A's naps), so that I could mostly relax when N got home. Those days have vanished.
Maybe they'll return once A's cold has subsided. But he's started teething again -- canines this time, as the first molars have all broken through -- so I somehow doubt that things will get better.
Things have kicked into high-stress mode at optimystik's work, due to the combination of month-end and semi-annual reporting. That fun should last until mid-January. We get a small blip of a wholly different kind of stress during the week of xmess, when we fly south to KC to visit with my family. With the exception of my mother, they haven't seen me in four years (some of them, not for six years), nor have they met N or A. Oh, the fun that awaits.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really don't like this time of year. Part of me loves it, but the reality of life at this time of year and all the stress that it holds makes it so impossible to find peace.
I've tasted it, though. It's creamy and soft and delightful and satisfying. I'm glad I savoured it while it lasted. I hope I can remember it well enough to get me through the rough waters ahead.