Rules for Getting Kelly to Sign Your Petition
1. Do not take up the entire sidewalk so that I have to talk to you just to pass by. This will annoy me. If I don't agree with whatever you're pitching, I want to be able to politely say no and WALK ON, not have to run a gauntlet of your minions.
2. Do not lie to me about what the petition says while holding it at such an angle that I can't see it very well.
3. When I ask to see the actual petition, do not lie to me about what it says while I'm standing there reading it. I have a reading level higher than first grade. I will be able to tell.
4. When I point out what the petition really says, do not then get indignant, raise your voice, and say "You mean you DON'T SUPPORT X???!!!111" People have differing political beliefs. I seriously doubt that a 40-year-old man doesn't understand that, so I will tend to suspect you're trying to intimidate me, not just overreacting out of emotion.
5. When I say that I can't sign the petition until I've done a little reading about the issue, do not continue to shout at me. A well-informed populace is a good thing, isn't it? Oh yeah, unless you're the kind of person who tries to pull the wool over people's eyes by lying to them about what they're signing.
6. When you're done with me, your co-annoyer two feet away should not then demand of me, "Where can I find a BIG group of people today?" It's the freaking Dog Days Sale. You're in the middle of one of the busiest parts of town on one of the busiest days it has every year. The only thing better than this would be the mall (which would kick you out) or the Twilight Festival (which is next month). When you point out the Show-Me Games, do not become annoyed when I have no clue about the schedule of the Games or where they are. I don't follow sports, much less kiddie sports, and I have NO CLUE. I really don't. Look this crap up if you want to go there. I'm not 411.
2. Do not lie to me about what the petition says while holding it at such an angle that I can't see it very well.
3. When I ask to see the actual petition, do not lie to me about what it says while I'm standing there reading it. I have a reading level higher than first grade. I will be able to tell.
4. When I point out what the petition really says, do not then get indignant, raise your voice, and say "You mean you DON'T SUPPORT X???!!!111" People have differing political beliefs. I seriously doubt that a 40-year-old man doesn't understand that, so I will tend to suspect you're trying to intimidate me, not just overreacting out of emotion.
5. When I say that I can't sign the petition until I've done a little reading about the issue, do not continue to shout at me. A well-informed populace is a good thing, isn't it? Oh yeah, unless you're the kind of person who tries to pull the wool over people's eyes by lying to them about what they're signing.
6. When you're done with me, your co-annoyer two feet away should not then demand of me, "Where can I find a BIG group of people today?" It's the freaking Dog Days Sale. You're in the middle of one of the busiest parts of town on one of the busiest days it has every year. The only thing better than this would be the mall (which would kick you out) or the Twilight Festival (which is next month). When you point out the Show-Me Games, do not become annoyed when I have no clue about the schedule of the Games or where they are. I don't follow sports, much less kiddie sports, and I have NO CLUE. I really don't. Look this crap up if you want to go there. I'm not 411.