Rustic Woman: Chapter 5
Summary: After graduation many people must find their way in life. This is their story of love, loss, ups, and downs while searching for a bright future. Features AmixMakoto, MinakoxRei, HarukaxMichiru and more. A long song fiction story. Many chapters, still being worked on to this day. Mostly Yuri, some Yaoi in later chapters.
NOTE: Before I go any further with this fiction I feel I must state one thing. The Hino family name is not actually from the maternal side of the family. It is from the Paternal. This means that Rei's grandfather does not actually have the last name of Hino and the only reason he was left with that name is because no one really knows what Rei's mothers maiden name was. So in effect, he is not a Hino, but Rei, having had to take her father's last name is. (My, isn't family relations confusing.) Thus pay careful mind to that fact that while reading. I will still refer to him as 'Grandfather Hino' for simplicities sake. Just remember that Rei's grandfather is actually on the mother's side.
Song: I love you This Much.
By: Jimmy Wayne
Song lyrics in italics.
Normal story like this.
I do not own Sailor Moon. I am only a fan and nothing more.
Chapter Five: A Families Past: Part 1
Tuesday rolled around faster than Makoto had realized and at the crack of dawn she was in a dilapidated car headed for the countryside. Now, this on its own wasn't odd. It was the fact that Rei was the one driving with an irritated look on her face. She clearly wasn't fond of this idea. She really didn't want to see this woman for multiple reasons. Many of them were uncalled for. She really was a nice woman, it was the fact that this person had ties to a man she absolutely loathed that had caused the aversion in the first place. Ironically it was due to the topic of the man in question that her grandfather had thought of it as good idea for her to go visit, driving Makoto had been the perfect excuse.
Who was this man? Simple, it was Rei's one and only father. The man who hadn't raised her after her mother passed on. He was the man who left her alone for her grandfather to take care of. She felt as if she had every right to hate him. To fully detest his very existence. Why was it that she was the only one who hated him so much? No one else had such a vengeful dislike for the man. Only her. "This was a stupid idea. Of all the times he wants me to go it's to take you to work. Why now of all times?"
"Like I would know." Makoto sighed sarcastically as she used the dashboard as a footrest. The car was very small and as a result this was the next best thing to sitting in a ball. "Don't get me wrong, but I really don't know your dad. I don't even remember mine enough to know what a father should be to their daughter so you're barking up the wrong tree asking me."
"This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of." She turned down one of the dirt roads that led out of the main cities. The drive was long and after over an hour already stewing she still had about thirty minutes to go provided traffic stayed light. "Last time I saw the woman was a year ago. Now he wants me to visit." She looked at the instructions she had taped to her steering wheel.
"Why does he want you to do this exactly?" That was the one thing she hadn't told Makoto. The brunette didn't mind listening to the ranting; she didn't understand the cause of it though. She popped the top on her soda enjoying the caffeine as she awaited her answer.
"Well, he thinks it would be good for me to speak with her. He says he thinks I'm old enough to know the truth." Rei reached over to the cup holder where her coffee sat. "Personally think I know the truth well enough. Dad ditched me." She took her drink then to help hide the real hurt in her voice and replaced the beverage. "Anyway, I figure this has been a long time coming. It would have to come up someday. I just thought he would be the one to want to talk to me. Not want to send me to speak with my grandmother."
"I didn't even know you had family outside of Gramps." That had been something everyone one of Rei's friends called him. After all, he had been the only real adult to show interest in her life and as a result Rei's friends found a deep respect for that man. He had done well to look out for all of them in one way or another. "Shows you what I know." Makoto took another gulp of soda before she said anything else looking out her window absentmindedly.
"That's because my family doesn't come around often. I'm not sure why that is. I know they're angry with grandpa but I don't really know why. Like I said we don't talk about my family much. I have a few cousins I see every now and then, but that is pretty rare." Rei threw another curve ball as she looked again at the directions before making a left down a road that began to get bumpy. This one was obviously leading into areas that were out in no man's land. "I never even knew I had a large family until I happen to stumble across a letter in the mail one day. It's pointless now really. I don't see why we need to kick up old dirt."
"Agreed." Makoto had to agree with that. Then again when it came to their friends it was her and Rei that were not only the most consumed with their past, but also the most willing to let sleeping sandstorms stay strictly that. Perhaps conflicting in terms, be that as it may, it had worked out for them for the most part. "So do you have any idea what it is I'm going to be doing?"
"Zoisite will already be there doing something. You'll be helping him I guess. I don't really know." Rei answered honestly as she drove past yet more field and what looked to be a few old abandoned properties. It was kind of odd her grandmother lived in such a place. Rei's grandfather had told her that at one point it had been a small town with a fairly decent community. Over the years it dwindled and only the old-timers remained. She could see why now almost all too clearly.
A few old farm houses looked like the paint had been chipped. Fences were rotted and some weren't even finished. The scenery was pretty bland to say the least. There were a few shops that looked to be mom and pop style. Without much in the way of new renovation it was quite an odd sight. A few houses were more traditional, so much so in fact that the people, both men and women alike were dressed very traditionally. Perhaps not in a fancy way, but it was clear that who ever lived here just screamed history. The clothing reminded Rei of the history books looking as if it was the same styles from back in the nineteen-fifties. In her mind that was being blasted into a memory she hadn't even lived through let alone understood.
She knew that a lot of Japan wasn't as advanced once you left the major cities and districts moving outward into the areas that less equaled more. Still, even if she had lived in a shrine, she was very much a city girl compared to this. Some people were selling things in nearby stands while other people used carts with wheels to transport and sell many things. Rice fields were known to be grown out here since that was a standard staple in many households. There were other sights and sounds that seemed to also have a level of normality out here but needless to say Rei and Makoto both found it all to be too much to focus on.
Finally they reached the driveway of their destination. The house was small, and looked to be extremely old just like most of the buildings in the area. Zoisite waved to Makoto from his place that he had been using a hand saw to cut wood. She went over to him while Rei walked up the steps and to the front door. She still didn't know what to expect as she lightly knocked. It was solid and the brass door knocker was slightly tarnished from years of use. The porch around her was concrete, but it had been around a while, the wear and tear very vivid. The wood that made up the railing had been logs by the looks of it. Cracked and splintered in a few places gave it charm, but, one couldn't exactly call it safe. When the door finally opened a short elderly woman greeted Rei. As she invited her granddaughter to join her in the kitchen she made sure to keep a positive outlook on things. It wasn't easy keeping in mind the nature of the discussion ahead.
The kitchen had a more western style and Rei found a morning tea already freshly set on the table awaiting her arrival. It was a black tea, one of her favorite types. Surely Rei could blame her grandfather for that one. He had already meddled enough, and now this. They both took their seats as an awkward silence took over them. Then Rei saw something. A letter sat on the counter with a different last name with this address. 'Karasuma?' Rei thought confused and worried, this didn't go unnoticed by the older woman. She had planned this after all; Rei had been a very inquisitive child and she hadn't seemed to grow out of it.
"Does it look odd?" The woman asked softly. Rei looked at her confused. She didn't want to say something rude; it wasn't this woman who had caused her grief after all. "The last name being Karasuma I mean. That is my last name after all." She said taking a sip of her own tea.
"I thought you were my dad's mom. Doesn't that make you the name of Hino?" Rei was soft spoken and worried. What had she walked into? "I mean it's not weird, but I am confused."
"As you would be I'm sure." Akane placed her cup down on the table and folded her hand into her lap. She allowed her eyes to show sympathy as her voice was sure to clam. "I'm well aware that your grandfather had motives for sending you by. I'll admit I don't think I should be the one to explain things but he was adamant that I do it." She paused to collect her thoughts. "Either way, your old enough now to comprehend what has gone on in this family since you were a child and the air has a right to be cleared."
"Alright." Rei was slow in her speech. Testing the waters of things she hadn't heard. She knew she was going to be having a tense discussion, but this seemed ridiculous. "What is it really about? My father isn't the only topic of debate is he?"
"No. He is not." Akane affirmed. "He is however a good enough topic to start as any." She placed her glasses up further on her face and the replaced her hands in her lap once again. "Perhaps we should start with why you hate him. You wouldn't mind telling me would you?" she saw Rei tense up, anger in her eyes. "I want to know what you think of him. Not as my son, but as your father."
"I could tell you many things I think about him." Rei said harshly. "However I will not be so lewd in your presence." She took a sip of tea and then she took a breath. Thinking of the right words without sounding over the top became hard. "He left me. He's a pig of a man who cares more about his own political standing than his own family. First he left me with my grandfather, and then he stopped coming to visit. It leaves me wondering if he even loved my mother. If he could ever love me at all took a back seat to the fact that my grandpa was the only one who was really here for me. My dad, he should feel ashamed. Does he? Well I guess I'll never know, will I?"
"Strong feelings towards a negative standing and yet the fruit still doesn't fall far from the tree." Akane sighed thinking about a similar conversation with her son when he was just a boy. Funny how history can repeat in slightly different ways. "Your father said the same things to me about his father when he was your age. His reasons were far different though."
"What exactly do you mean?" Rei didn't believe that. How could she? "You can't tell me that. No father would ever do that to his child only to repeat the process over with their own child." Rei hadn't ever been a parent so of course she wouldn't know how herd being one could actually be.
"I will explain." Akane replied softly. "Please understand though. This was long ago, part of why he acts the way he does I assume. Anyway, do not say anything until you hear it all. It will be important for you to know…" Akane started as Rei nodded.
He can't remember
The times that he thought
Does my daddy love me?
Probably not
That didn't stop him
From wishing that he did
Didn't keep him from wanting
Or worshipping him
"My last name is Karasuma because I never married. I did fall in love with a man though. One I'm ashamed to say didn't love me or his children the same way. His last name was Hino and our son, Takashi the very man you hate as a father, took that name on his birth certificate as was tradition. In those days it wasn't proper to have a child out of wedlock, and yet he refused to marry me. It was probably best that we hadn't now that I have had the years to reflect. That man wasn't a man who could father a child correctly even if he had wanted too. Takashi idolized his father. He wanted to be a man just like him as a small child. He would pretend to smoke using rolled up paper. He would pretend that his juice was cheep whiskey and he would pretend to be a thug out on the street. I wasn't fond of this and told his father as much. The man walked out on both of us, leaving me as a single mother and leaving his son thinking that he was unloved."
He guesses he saw him
About once a year
He could still feel the way he felt
Standing in tears
Stretching his arms out
As far as they'd go
Whispering daddy
I want you to know
"Sure he would come around every now and then. Asking for money or help with something. He used his son as an excuse to visit and I still held that faint hope that perhaps his father would be a real dad to my little Takashi. That was a false hope, it wouldn't ever happen. I knew that in my head, but my heart wanted so much for my son to be happy, and he was happy, when his dad was around. One day he came up to the house, that familiar tobacco in his mouth leaning on that very door frame and told me he was headed out of town and he wouldn't be back. When I had asked why all I got in response was that he had no money and was on the run. I couldn't believe that, nor could I tell that to a five year old. Instead I had said daddy would be gone for a while. I didn't say how long. I felt guilty, but how do you say to a child that your father doesn't want you?" Akane looked at Rei inquisitively as she didn't say a word. Her eyes hardened though.
Rei was mad, livid at that facts being told to her. Her father walked out on her. Her father hated her. His dad hated him and she was being punished. Was that it? If that was really true then why did this woman seem so intent on rubbing it in? She was pulled out of her momentary thoughts as Akane continued.
I love you this much
And I'm waiting on you
To make up your mind
Do you love me too?
How ever long it takes
I'm never giving up no matter what
I love you this much
"His dad never came back. Over time he realized that the man he wanted to be wasn't going to come back. He was growing up wishing to be the man his father was only to realize that that very man wasn't going to ever come home. After that, your father threw out all of his normal street clothes and decided that he wanted to not be him. He wasn't, he was so far from it, I wish he could only see that, even today all these years later. Anyway, he stopped the street talk tough guy act he often had. He was just a teen around that time. He was still wayward and still very much hurt. He met a young woman at that time, your mother, when he was in high school. She was near him all the time. She had fallen in love with him even that far back, although he didn't see it that way. I think looking back he felt like he had wanted to be his father so much that he didn't realized he had never been anything like the man in the first place. That woman took care of him all through high school. She chased him, and fought for him instead of against him. It was a rare sight to see. Your grandfather wasn't pleased about him in the slightest."
"You're mother was a kinda and gentle woman of a Shinto faith. She never spoke out rudely. She was always properly dressed and had a deep faith in the Catholic Church just like my son and I. One day she started to attend church with my son feeling that she should have knowledge of both faiths if she was to love him. She was truly one of a kind."
He grew to hate him for what he had done
'cause what kind of father
Could do that to his son?
He said 'damn you daddy'
The day that he died
The man didn't blink
But the little boy cried
"When Takashi was in his first year of collage he found out about what his father had really done in life. He was so angry that he decided he was going to be a law maker. He was going to change the world. He was going to make sure the things his father did could never happen again. In the events proceeding Takashi finding out about the true nature of his father we also were told that he had passed on. Needless to say, Takashi was broken. I remember what he said to me that day. 'I'll never know if even loved me.' That's what my son had said that day. He was so hurt, so very upset. Even so, life had to move on sooner or later. Takashi made sure to dive into his classes head first after that. He also dived head first into something else, blind faith."
I love you this much
And I'm waiting on you
To make up your mind
Do you love me too?
How ever long it takes
I'm never giving up no matter what
I love you this much
"He went after your mother. Told her he loved her and they married. The boy didn't have a penny to his name and so he moved into the shrine. He wanted so much to be a family man, and while it was hard he was learning what it was like to be a husband, more so than that, I saw him become attached to your grandfather. Ever since he was given the blessing to marry your mother he had found himself learning what it was like to have an older male around, even if it seemed many years late. They were happy for the most part. Still though, it hadn't filled the void and he still found the time to have deep hate for the man who had abandoned him as a child. He was still very deep in his Catholic faith even after marring your mother. As a result they had made a choice that any child they would have should also be able to know of both so that they could openly decide one day for themselves."
Half way through the service
While the choir sang a hymn
He looked up above the preacher
And he sat and stared at him
He said
'forgive me father'
When he realized
That he hadn't been unloved
Or alone all his life
His arms were stretched out
As far as they'd go
Nailed to the cross
For the whole world to know
"A few years later he sat back in one of the church pews and he had decided he wanted a family. That he felt ready to be a father. He had made amends to his past that day for whatever reason. Happy to just let it lie. Your mother wanted children as well, and since your father was now able to support a family they moved to a small apartment with two bedrooms. You're mother became pregnant with you later that year. I was happy for them both of course. As you know, time went on and you were born and grew up as a child with two parents. One was a man who wasn't home often due to his work. The other you knew as your loving mother who was a full time parent. When you were a small girl your mother became ill and passed away. It's at those times that things were hard for you. You blamed him back then for your mother's death and ran to your grandfather, the very man who raised you. You wanted to stay with him, and Takashi didn't deny you that request."
Rei spoke up at that. "But why? I was a little kid back then. Why did he just leave me there? Little kids get upset all the time saying they want something. It doesn't mean it's handed to them like candy."
"No, you're right. Many people don't know why. He didn't tell your grandfather the real reason. It's true he said you'd be better off staying with your grandfather, but that doesn't mean there aren't underlying things." Akane sighed looking back to those days. "He wanted to be with his dad, and his dad didn't want him. You didn't want him either. You wanted your mom back, but, he couldn't give you that so he gave you the next best thing he could think of. He walked out of your life because honestly he didn't think you'd ever like him. He said he couldn't blame you for disliking him, he felt like he should have been home more often than just one or two days a week. He would get home late when you were finally asleep for the night. Funny how a small child can see that as her father hating her, that was how you viewed it back then. You went so far as to tell him that as well."
I love you this much
And I'm waiting on you
To make up your mind
Do you love me too?
How ever long it takes
I'm never giving up no matter what
I love you this much
"I know you think that all of those political lunches and gatherings are for him to save face. He goes on letting you think as much, giving you a target to hate so very much. In reality that just simply isn't true. He does it to see you." Akane finished her tea as she stood and cleared the table.
"Why didn't he tell me?" Rei inquired.
"He felt like you wouldn't believe him." Akane sighed. "The fact of the matter is you're a grown woman now, plenty old enough to know the truth."
"Is that all of the truth?" Her voice was apprehensive. "There should be something more than just that. Right?"
"That all depends on you." Akane explained. "He wanted to be involved in your life, but as always that choice is yours and yours alone. Now that you're older do you still detest him so?"
"I'm not so sure anymore." Rei answered honestly. "I didn't know about all of that before. I just don't know."
"Just think about it." Akane said softly. "That's all I ask you to do."
She had spent the rest of the afternoon alone and let Makoto to hitch a ride home with her brother for the day. The two of them looked rather busy at the time. She spent her day driving around the country side. Seeing the sites her father had once known as home. It was funny really, in some sort of cruel irony just how much she felt at home here. Just how much she thought that she'd like to live out there one day. She arrived home at the shrine where her grandfather looked like he was talking to a blond girl. That was odd Rei realized until she saw who it was. Minako.
"Hey grandpa." Rei said putting her keys on the kitchen counter. Drained she went over to the table. "What's up Minako? What happened to your clothes?" Rei asked forgoing her normal manners and slouching in her seat.
"I'm wearing them. I've decided that I want to undertake part of the work at the shrine. Your grandfather says that he and Yūichirō can't fully keep up and they could use another to help with the duties. I want to be the one to do it. Please Rei."
"If my grandfather allows it, then I can't deny you anything. He's still head of the shrine after all." Then a thought came to mind. "Are you going to be moving in here as well?"
"Yes. I do believe it would be for the best." Minako explained. "I've lived with my family long enough. I'll earn my keep here."
"Yes." Grandfather Hino agreed. "And it saves Rei's cousins the trip of having to come all the way out here to lend a hand. This is indeed for the best."
"Alright then." Rei started slowly "You know I never really pegged you to want to become a miko." She said addressing Minako.
"I have always wondered about it, but really, for right now I just want to lend a helping hand." Minako blushed lightly, she hadn't expected Rei to be home yet.
"That's fine with me." Rei agreed one final time. "But for now I'm rather tired and I to sleep." She stood and said her good nights. "See you at four."
"Yep." Minako agreed. Her voice turning somewhat flirty. "I'll be the one with the broom by the steps." It was meant to be a joke.
Meanwhile the poor elderly man sighed as the exchange continued, finally with Minako following Rei too her bedroom. Looking to the tall man with straggly hair he deadpanned. "Why do I have a feeling that this entire thing is just asking for trouble." He got his answer a few moments later when he heard an all too familiar voice yell in what sounded like mock anger. He sighed again. "Yep. Trouble isn't even the half of it." All the taller man could go was laugh.
Onto Next Chapter.
NOTE: Before I go any further with this fiction I feel I must state one thing. The Hino family name is not actually from the maternal side of the family. It is from the Paternal. This means that Rei's grandfather does not actually have the last name of Hino and the only reason he was left with that name is because no one really knows what Rei's mothers maiden name was. So in effect, he is not a Hino, but Rei, having had to take her father's last name is. (My, isn't family relations confusing.) Thus pay careful mind to that fact that while reading. I will still refer to him as 'Grandfather Hino' for simplicities sake. Just remember that Rei's grandfather is actually on the mother's side.
Song: I love you This Much.
By: Jimmy Wayne
Song lyrics in italics.
Normal story like this.
I do not own Sailor Moon. I am only a fan and nothing more.
Chapter Five: A Families Past: Part 1
Tuesday rolled around faster than Makoto had realized and at the crack of dawn she was in a dilapidated car headed for the countryside. Now, this on its own wasn't odd. It was the fact that Rei was the one driving with an irritated look on her face. She clearly wasn't fond of this idea. She really didn't want to see this woman for multiple reasons. Many of them were uncalled for. She really was a nice woman, it was the fact that this person had ties to a man she absolutely loathed that had caused the aversion in the first place. Ironically it was due to the topic of the man in question that her grandfather had thought of it as good idea for her to go visit, driving Makoto had been the perfect excuse.
Who was this man? Simple, it was Rei's one and only father. The man who hadn't raised her after her mother passed on. He was the man who left her alone for her grandfather to take care of. She felt as if she had every right to hate him. To fully detest his very existence. Why was it that she was the only one who hated him so much? No one else had such a vengeful dislike for the man. Only her. "This was a stupid idea. Of all the times he wants me to go it's to take you to work. Why now of all times?"
"Like I would know." Makoto sighed sarcastically as she used the dashboard as a footrest. The car was very small and as a result this was the next best thing to sitting in a ball. "Don't get me wrong, but I really don't know your dad. I don't even remember mine enough to know what a father should be to their daughter so you're barking up the wrong tree asking me."
"This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of." She turned down one of the dirt roads that led out of the main cities. The drive was long and after over an hour already stewing she still had about thirty minutes to go provided traffic stayed light. "Last time I saw the woman was a year ago. Now he wants me to visit." She looked at the instructions she had taped to her steering wheel.
"Why does he want you to do this exactly?" That was the one thing she hadn't told Makoto. The brunette didn't mind listening to the ranting; she didn't understand the cause of it though. She popped the top on her soda enjoying the caffeine as she awaited her answer.
"Well, he thinks it would be good for me to speak with her. He says he thinks I'm old enough to know the truth." Rei reached over to the cup holder where her coffee sat. "Personally think I know the truth well enough. Dad ditched me." She took her drink then to help hide the real hurt in her voice and replaced the beverage. "Anyway, I figure this has been a long time coming. It would have to come up someday. I just thought he would be the one to want to talk to me. Not want to send me to speak with my grandmother."
"I didn't even know you had family outside of Gramps." That had been something everyone one of Rei's friends called him. After all, he had been the only real adult to show interest in her life and as a result Rei's friends found a deep respect for that man. He had done well to look out for all of them in one way or another. "Shows you what I know." Makoto took another gulp of soda before she said anything else looking out her window absentmindedly.
"That's because my family doesn't come around often. I'm not sure why that is. I know they're angry with grandpa but I don't really know why. Like I said we don't talk about my family much. I have a few cousins I see every now and then, but that is pretty rare." Rei threw another curve ball as she looked again at the directions before making a left down a road that began to get bumpy. This one was obviously leading into areas that were out in no man's land. "I never even knew I had a large family until I happen to stumble across a letter in the mail one day. It's pointless now really. I don't see why we need to kick up old dirt."
"Agreed." Makoto had to agree with that. Then again when it came to their friends it was her and Rei that were not only the most consumed with their past, but also the most willing to let sleeping sandstorms stay strictly that. Perhaps conflicting in terms, be that as it may, it had worked out for them for the most part. "So do you have any idea what it is I'm going to be doing?"
"Zoisite will already be there doing something. You'll be helping him I guess. I don't really know." Rei answered honestly as she drove past yet more field and what looked to be a few old abandoned properties. It was kind of odd her grandmother lived in such a place. Rei's grandfather had told her that at one point it had been a small town with a fairly decent community. Over the years it dwindled and only the old-timers remained. She could see why now almost all too clearly.
A few old farm houses looked like the paint had been chipped. Fences were rotted and some weren't even finished. The scenery was pretty bland to say the least. There were a few shops that looked to be mom and pop style. Without much in the way of new renovation it was quite an odd sight. A few houses were more traditional, so much so in fact that the people, both men and women alike were dressed very traditionally. Perhaps not in a fancy way, but it was clear that who ever lived here just screamed history. The clothing reminded Rei of the history books looking as if it was the same styles from back in the nineteen-fifties. In her mind that was being blasted into a memory she hadn't even lived through let alone understood.
She knew that a lot of Japan wasn't as advanced once you left the major cities and districts moving outward into the areas that less equaled more. Still, even if she had lived in a shrine, she was very much a city girl compared to this. Some people were selling things in nearby stands while other people used carts with wheels to transport and sell many things. Rice fields were known to be grown out here since that was a standard staple in many households. There were other sights and sounds that seemed to also have a level of normality out here but needless to say Rei and Makoto both found it all to be too much to focus on.
Finally they reached the driveway of their destination. The house was small, and looked to be extremely old just like most of the buildings in the area. Zoisite waved to Makoto from his place that he had been using a hand saw to cut wood. She went over to him while Rei walked up the steps and to the front door. She still didn't know what to expect as she lightly knocked. It was solid and the brass door knocker was slightly tarnished from years of use. The porch around her was concrete, but it had been around a while, the wear and tear very vivid. The wood that made up the railing had been logs by the looks of it. Cracked and splintered in a few places gave it charm, but, one couldn't exactly call it safe. When the door finally opened a short elderly woman greeted Rei. As she invited her granddaughter to join her in the kitchen she made sure to keep a positive outlook on things. It wasn't easy keeping in mind the nature of the discussion ahead.
The kitchen had a more western style and Rei found a morning tea already freshly set on the table awaiting her arrival. It was a black tea, one of her favorite types. Surely Rei could blame her grandfather for that one. He had already meddled enough, and now this. They both took their seats as an awkward silence took over them. Then Rei saw something. A letter sat on the counter with a different last name with this address. 'Karasuma?' Rei thought confused and worried, this didn't go unnoticed by the older woman. She had planned this after all; Rei had been a very inquisitive child and she hadn't seemed to grow out of it.
"Does it look odd?" The woman asked softly. Rei looked at her confused. She didn't want to say something rude; it wasn't this woman who had caused her grief after all. "The last name being Karasuma I mean. That is my last name after all." She said taking a sip of her own tea.
"I thought you were my dad's mom. Doesn't that make you the name of Hino?" Rei was soft spoken and worried. What had she walked into? "I mean it's not weird, but I am confused."
"As you would be I'm sure." Akane placed her cup down on the table and folded her hand into her lap. She allowed her eyes to show sympathy as her voice was sure to clam. "I'm well aware that your grandfather had motives for sending you by. I'll admit I don't think I should be the one to explain things but he was adamant that I do it." She paused to collect her thoughts. "Either way, your old enough now to comprehend what has gone on in this family since you were a child and the air has a right to be cleared."
"Alright." Rei was slow in her speech. Testing the waters of things she hadn't heard. She knew she was going to be having a tense discussion, but this seemed ridiculous. "What is it really about? My father isn't the only topic of debate is he?"
"No. He is not." Akane affirmed. "He is however a good enough topic to start as any." She placed her glasses up further on her face and the replaced her hands in her lap once again. "Perhaps we should start with why you hate him. You wouldn't mind telling me would you?" she saw Rei tense up, anger in her eyes. "I want to know what you think of him. Not as my son, but as your father."
"I could tell you many things I think about him." Rei said harshly. "However I will not be so lewd in your presence." She took a sip of tea and then she took a breath. Thinking of the right words without sounding over the top became hard. "He left me. He's a pig of a man who cares more about his own political standing than his own family. First he left me with my grandfather, and then he stopped coming to visit. It leaves me wondering if he even loved my mother. If he could ever love me at all took a back seat to the fact that my grandpa was the only one who was really here for me. My dad, he should feel ashamed. Does he? Well I guess I'll never know, will I?"
"Strong feelings towards a negative standing and yet the fruit still doesn't fall far from the tree." Akane sighed thinking about a similar conversation with her son when he was just a boy. Funny how history can repeat in slightly different ways. "Your father said the same things to me about his father when he was your age. His reasons were far different though."
"What exactly do you mean?" Rei didn't believe that. How could she? "You can't tell me that. No father would ever do that to his child only to repeat the process over with their own child." Rei hadn't ever been a parent so of course she wouldn't know how herd being one could actually be.
"I will explain." Akane replied softly. "Please understand though. This was long ago, part of why he acts the way he does I assume. Anyway, do not say anything until you hear it all. It will be important for you to know…" Akane started as Rei nodded.
He can't remember
The times that he thought
Does my daddy love me?
Probably not
That didn't stop him
From wishing that he did
Didn't keep him from wanting
Or worshipping him
"My last name is Karasuma because I never married. I did fall in love with a man though. One I'm ashamed to say didn't love me or his children the same way. His last name was Hino and our son, Takashi the very man you hate as a father, took that name on his birth certificate as was tradition. In those days it wasn't proper to have a child out of wedlock, and yet he refused to marry me. It was probably best that we hadn't now that I have had the years to reflect. That man wasn't a man who could father a child correctly even if he had wanted too. Takashi idolized his father. He wanted to be a man just like him as a small child. He would pretend to smoke using rolled up paper. He would pretend that his juice was cheep whiskey and he would pretend to be a thug out on the street. I wasn't fond of this and told his father as much. The man walked out on both of us, leaving me as a single mother and leaving his son thinking that he was unloved."
He guesses he saw him
About once a year
He could still feel the way he felt
Standing in tears
Stretching his arms out
As far as they'd go
Whispering daddy
I want you to know
"Sure he would come around every now and then. Asking for money or help with something. He used his son as an excuse to visit and I still held that faint hope that perhaps his father would be a real dad to my little Takashi. That was a false hope, it wouldn't ever happen. I knew that in my head, but my heart wanted so much for my son to be happy, and he was happy, when his dad was around. One day he came up to the house, that familiar tobacco in his mouth leaning on that very door frame and told me he was headed out of town and he wouldn't be back. When I had asked why all I got in response was that he had no money and was on the run. I couldn't believe that, nor could I tell that to a five year old. Instead I had said daddy would be gone for a while. I didn't say how long. I felt guilty, but how do you say to a child that your father doesn't want you?" Akane looked at Rei inquisitively as she didn't say a word. Her eyes hardened though.
Rei was mad, livid at that facts being told to her. Her father walked out on her. Her father hated her. His dad hated him and she was being punished. Was that it? If that was really true then why did this woman seem so intent on rubbing it in? She was pulled out of her momentary thoughts as Akane continued.
I love you this much
And I'm waiting on you
To make up your mind
Do you love me too?
How ever long it takes
I'm never giving up no matter what
I love you this much
"His dad never came back. Over time he realized that the man he wanted to be wasn't going to come back. He was growing up wishing to be the man his father was only to realize that that very man wasn't going to ever come home. After that, your father threw out all of his normal street clothes and decided that he wanted to not be him. He wasn't, he was so far from it, I wish he could only see that, even today all these years later. Anyway, he stopped the street talk tough guy act he often had. He was just a teen around that time. He was still wayward and still very much hurt. He met a young woman at that time, your mother, when he was in high school. She was near him all the time. She had fallen in love with him even that far back, although he didn't see it that way. I think looking back he felt like he had wanted to be his father so much that he didn't realized he had never been anything like the man in the first place. That woman took care of him all through high school. She chased him, and fought for him instead of against him. It was a rare sight to see. Your grandfather wasn't pleased about him in the slightest."
"You're mother was a kinda and gentle woman of a Shinto faith. She never spoke out rudely. She was always properly dressed and had a deep faith in the Catholic Church just like my son and I. One day she started to attend church with my son feeling that she should have knowledge of both faiths if she was to love him. She was truly one of a kind."
He grew to hate him for what he had done
'cause what kind of father
Could do that to his son?
He said 'damn you daddy'
The day that he died
The man didn't blink
But the little boy cried
"When Takashi was in his first year of collage he found out about what his father had really done in life. He was so angry that he decided he was going to be a law maker. He was going to change the world. He was going to make sure the things his father did could never happen again. In the events proceeding Takashi finding out about the true nature of his father we also were told that he had passed on. Needless to say, Takashi was broken. I remember what he said to me that day. 'I'll never know if even loved me.' That's what my son had said that day. He was so hurt, so very upset. Even so, life had to move on sooner or later. Takashi made sure to dive into his classes head first after that. He also dived head first into something else, blind faith."
I love you this much
And I'm waiting on you
To make up your mind
Do you love me too?
How ever long it takes
I'm never giving up no matter what
I love you this much
"He went after your mother. Told her he loved her and they married. The boy didn't have a penny to his name and so he moved into the shrine. He wanted so much to be a family man, and while it was hard he was learning what it was like to be a husband, more so than that, I saw him become attached to your grandfather. Ever since he was given the blessing to marry your mother he had found himself learning what it was like to have an older male around, even if it seemed many years late. They were happy for the most part. Still though, it hadn't filled the void and he still found the time to have deep hate for the man who had abandoned him as a child. He was still very deep in his Catholic faith even after marring your mother. As a result they had made a choice that any child they would have should also be able to know of both so that they could openly decide one day for themselves."
Half way through the service
While the choir sang a hymn
He looked up above the preacher
And he sat and stared at him
He said
'forgive me father'
When he realized
That he hadn't been unloved
Or alone all his life
His arms were stretched out
As far as they'd go
Nailed to the cross
For the whole world to know
"A few years later he sat back in one of the church pews and he had decided he wanted a family. That he felt ready to be a father. He had made amends to his past that day for whatever reason. Happy to just let it lie. Your mother wanted children as well, and since your father was now able to support a family they moved to a small apartment with two bedrooms. You're mother became pregnant with you later that year. I was happy for them both of course. As you know, time went on and you were born and grew up as a child with two parents. One was a man who wasn't home often due to his work. The other you knew as your loving mother who was a full time parent. When you were a small girl your mother became ill and passed away. It's at those times that things were hard for you. You blamed him back then for your mother's death and ran to your grandfather, the very man who raised you. You wanted to stay with him, and Takashi didn't deny you that request."
Rei spoke up at that. "But why? I was a little kid back then. Why did he just leave me there? Little kids get upset all the time saying they want something. It doesn't mean it's handed to them like candy."
"No, you're right. Many people don't know why. He didn't tell your grandfather the real reason. It's true he said you'd be better off staying with your grandfather, but that doesn't mean there aren't underlying things." Akane sighed looking back to those days. "He wanted to be with his dad, and his dad didn't want him. You didn't want him either. You wanted your mom back, but, he couldn't give you that so he gave you the next best thing he could think of. He walked out of your life because honestly he didn't think you'd ever like him. He said he couldn't blame you for disliking him, he felt like he should have been home more often than just one or two days a week. He would get home late when you were finally asleep for the night. Funny how a small child can see that as her father hating her, that was how you viewed it back then. You went so far as to tell him that as well."
I love you this much
And I'm waiting on you
To make up your mind
Do you love me too?
How ever long it takes
I'm never giving up no matter what
I love you this much
"I know you think that all of those political lunches and gatherings are for him to save face. He goes on letting you think as much, giving you a target to hate so very much. In reality that just simply isn't true. He does it to see you." Akane finished her tea as she stood and cleared the table.
"Why didn't he tell me?" Rei inquired.
"He felt like you wouldn't believe him." Akane sighed. "The fact of the matter is you're a grown woman now, plenty old enough to know the truth."
"Is that all of the truth?" Her voice was apprehensive. "There should be something more than just that. Right?"
"That all depends on you." Akane explained. "He wanted to be involved in your life, but as always that choice is yours and yours alone. Now that you're older do you still detest him so?"
"I'm not so sure anymore." Rei answered honestly. "I didn't know about all of that before. I just don't know."
"Just think about it." Akane said softly. "That's all I ask you to do."
She had spent the rest of the afternoon alone and let Makoto to hitch a ride home with her brother for the day. The two of them looked rather busy at the time. She spent her day driving around the country side. Seeing the sites her father had once known as home. It was funny really, in some sort of cruel irony just how much she felt at home here. Just how much she thought that she'd like to live out there one day. She arrived home at the shrine where her grandfather looked like he was talking to a blond girl. That was odd Rei realized until she saw who it was. Minako.
"Hey grandpa." Rei said putting her keys on the kitchen counter. Drained she went over to the table. "What's up Minako? What happened to your clothes?" Rei asked forgoing her normal manners and slouching in her seat.
"I'm wearing them. I've decided that I want to undertake part of the work at the shrine. Your grandfather says that he and Yūichirō can't fully keep up and they could use another to help with the duties. I want to be the one to do it. Please Rei."
"If my grandfather allows it, then I can't deny you anything. He's still head of the shrine after all." Then a thought came to mind. "Are you going to be moving in here as well?"
"Yes. I do believe it would be for the best." Minako explained. "I've lived with my family long enough. I'll earn my keep here."
"Yes." Grandfather Hino agreed. "And it saves Rei's cousins the trip of having to come all the way out here to lend a hand. This is indeed for the best."
"Alright then." Rei started slowly "You know I never really pegged you to want to become a miko." She said addressing Minako.
"I have always wondered about it, but really, for right now I just want to lend a helping hand." Minako blushed lightly, she hadn't expected Rei to be home yet.
"That's fine with me." Rei agreed one final time. "But for now I'm rather tired and I to sleep." She stood and said her good nights. "See you at four."
"Yep." Minako agreed. Her voice turning somewhat flirty. "I'll be the one with the broom by the steps." It was meant to be a joke.
Meanwhile the poor elderly man sighed as the exchange continued, finally with Minako following Rei too her bedroom. Looking to the tall man with straggly hair he deadpanned. "Why do I have a feeling that this entire thing is just asking for trouble." He got his answer a few moments later when he heard an all too familiar voice yell in what sounded like mock anger. He sighed again. "Yep. Trouble isn't even the half of it." All the taller man could go was laugh.
Onto Next Chapter.