(no subject)
i just dont know about much of anything anymore. everything has become so confusing and complex. its just not really fair. its not fair to anyone. i dont want to fight or do some of things i have to do. this court date is kinda buggin me. its so hard to stay on top when everyone expects you to be this perfect person. i dont like it one bit. i dont want to be put in aany position where i dont know whats going to happen. my best friend is kinnd of going through the same thing and i dont know what to do about me or her. i love her like my little sister and pains me so bad to see her like this. and most of the time im upset because i dont know what she is going to and i worry about her. but of course i cant tell her that i love her way to much to see her worry about me. and not to mention i have my own problems worry about as well. i dont know what to do. about anything anymore everything is getting difficult. i miss jessi but i dont wanna be put in that position where i set myself up for a chance to get hurt agai. ive never done that and i dont plan on doing that anymore. i miss her but im not going downt hat road again. i cant. and this one girl likes me in my first hour. i dont know what i should do because i have my own problems and i dont wanna burden her right now. you know shes nice and cute and everything. but its not right to burden her. with my stuff. plus college is right around the corner and i dont wanna miss out on that opportunity i need to do something with my life. im not doing nothing this is becoming a little much at times. but i need to hold it together. someone please help me.