holla.
well since I'm bored again I'll write you all another long pointless journal entry.
I went to my physcologist today, I actually cryed she knew I was crying, when I was little really everyone left me it was just me and my grandpa we always talk about my "losses" which in other words is my mom and dad because of the relationship I have with them now my mom which is about a 10 minute phone call a week my dad a fight. I've been sucha bitch to everyone I'll admit it and say sorry for it, I'm honestly overwhelmed with this move and alot of shit with my family everyone wants me somewhere all the time I can't be going to 20000 fucking family functions a week when I am moving out how the hell does that work!?, my family is constantly on my ass. I'm actually really excited to be moving in with Jen. She text me today shes on vaca once she gets home and if I go to the cape I get home, I know its crunch time time for school time for moving time for everything fun to end. I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to manage a boyfriend, school and job.
I know that 2-5102-5 people do it but I'm not one to deal with alot of stress easily. I can't even deal with mean shit people say to me lol. My physcologist told me something informative today. 5 percent of people will hate you no matter what you do another 5 percent will love you no matter what. the others are aquantances and really couldnt give a shit which put a good spin on things for me, cause if someone doesnt like me I do all I can to make it so they do cause I hate having people hate me I hate being a bitch I hate being mean and flipping out, its not who I am making fun of people is alright just the other shit. Not me.
I found out that people actually read this, even if their arnt pictures in it which is nice to know Meg n Matt made a comment to me about it. Which is nice to know even if no one read it I think I'd stil write its nice to vent all of this, my mom told me that if I went to my cousins birthday party she'd meet me there her birthday is in NY I'm in CT why she just cant come here idk but whatever, captiva and sanibel are sucha mess from the hurricane if I had to pick one place to be for the rest of my life it would have been on one of those Islands one of my ex-stepdads was a real estate agent on Captiva we went and saw a house one day going for about 3.1 million it was my dream house I remember ever detail of it. Some people put money away to save up for a car or new stero or some shit, I'm saving up for that house. I don't know what I want to do yet, they said we should know by the end of this year.
Do you think anyone as a junior honestly knows what profession they want to have when their popin out kids and being dads and moms SCARY thought, but no, none of us know and some computer program at school isnt going to help us, seeing that it told Kar she should be a dental something when she hates blood I mean your trusting fuckin micro chips with your life here, reason some people wont buy shit offline ANYWAYS I have no clue what I want to do and I'm fine with that I don't think I need my life plan at 16 all I know is I wanna be as happy as possible I let to much shit get me down I'm sad to often if you make me pissed off or angry or sad I wont say anything to you about it. So I come off as "fake" cause I don't want to start anything. In conclusion when I grow up, I want to be having twice as much fun as I'm having right now, and be happy. I want to prove my family wrong.
That I'm not sucha POS and can actually do something, my dad called me tonight while I was out I have no idea why and then was up when I got home sitting waiting on the couch and than again when I went up and got food. Idk whats up with all of that I wonder if they'll miss me when I go to Jen's I'd miss me I'm not that bad to live with lol.
me and chel almost got kicked out of walmart tonight for riding the bikes around whats wrong with that.? when I have kids I'm gunna let them test drive it. LOL this guy was like "LADY off the bike" so..lol thats what had to happen and then I crashed her into the shoes, I haven't used my new digital too much I'm afriad of it getting stolen, I burnt my boobs today in the tanning bed. My nipples have been hard ever since, which was a sure site tonight at the gym when I was wearing a white tank top AWESOME have seriously got to love it. lol, I really wanna join health trax its effing awesome, me and chel we're singing Gloria Gainer lol. I have to figure out tommrow weather or not I can go with Kar to the Cape, anyways hope everyone has a good night.
<3