Sad
My mom's best friend's daughter (long connection) has cancer and was only given 6 - 12 months about 4 months ago. She's only in her early 30's and has a daughter in her teens. Today, her kidneys failed and her tumors have started to grow again. Luckily, the doctors were able to stabilize her kidneys and are keeping her comfortable.
For some reason, this situation has been consuming me. I don't know if I've ever even met this woman but the idea of this happening to someone I have a distant connection with makes everything too real. It's hard to have faith in something greater than yourself when a woman is dying and her daughter and mother have to watch it happen.
I hate anything that makes me think about mortality. I panic at the fact that I will never have solid proof of an afterlife, a heaven. I believe there's a heaven but that faith doesn't help me sleep any easier. I can't help but think that when I die I'll completely cease to exist in any form. I know that brings up the fact that I wouldn't know I wasn't existing since I would, of course, not exist. This thought terrifies me.
For some reason, this situation has been consuming me. I don't know if I've ever even met this woman but the idea of this happening to someone I have a distant connection with makes everything too real. It's hard to have faith in something greater than yourself when a woman is dying and her daughter and mother have to watch it happen.
I hate anything that makes me think about mortality. I panic at the fact that I will never have solid proof of an afterlife, a heaven. I believe there's a heaven but that faith doesn't help me sleep any easier. I can't help but think that when I die I'll completely cease to exist in any form. I know that brings up the fact that I wouldn't know I wasn't existing since I would, of course, not exist. This thought terrifies me.