What I Miss
So last night was "Kelly & Joe's Halloween Extravaganza 2006!" That was a lot of fun, needless to say.
YET
Looking at all my friends who showed up, it just seems weird not to have one there.
I miss having my male best friend who I did everything w...shopping..concerts...just hanging out...anything.
A guy who you could talk to about ANYTHING and he would listen. I heard his stories and he heard mine.
A guy who you could cuddle w and not have to worry about anything going anywhere. Just relax and not worry about a thing.
And now since he has gone to Japan I have recieved maybe two phone calls and maybe a handful of emails. I did see him once when he was back for a little bit - and something didn't feel right then; but I didn't question it. For the longest time I didn't question anything b/c I figured, shit, he's in Japan,I doubt he has the time to talk. But let me mention I did get one wonderful phone call telling me he is getting married and that I am invited to the wedding, but the wedding rolled by and I didnt even know. Which is highly upsetting. BUT who knows, maybe he could only invite so many ppl or something...I can understand that....
I feel like something is wrong, that I did something to make him not want to talk to me and hang out like we used to.
I miss Ricky so much. I look at him like family and I feel like suddenly my brother hates me and I don't know y. I don't even know if I should ask him what happened or if I did something wrong. I wanna tell him about everything I've been doing, and about my dad and just talk about life in general like we always did - but I don't think I can. Something just doesn't feel right and it scares me to feel like I lost someone who means so much to me.
This hurts my heart so much. I miss him w an unexplanable passion. Oh, what to do. :(
I hope I didnt somehow fuck things up-b4 he left, at his going away party/birthday party things were fine.
Basically, I feel like I did something and I dunno if I did or if he really just is super busy. If thats the case, thats cool, and I understand...I just have that feeling.
YET
Looking at all my friends who showed up, it just seems weird not to have one there.
I miss having my male best friend who I did everything w...shopping..concerts...just hanging out...anything.
A guy who you could talk to about ANYTHING and he would listen. I heard his stories and he heard mine.
A guy who you could cuddle w and not have to worry about anything going anywhere. Just relax and not worry about a thing.
And now since he has gone to Japan I have recieved maybe two phone calls and maybe a handful of emails. I did see him once when he was back for a little bit - and something didn't feel right then; but I didn't question it. For the longest time I didn't question anything b/c I figured, shit, he's in Japan,I doubt he has the time to talk. But let me mention I did get one wonderful phone call telling me he is getting married and that I am invited to the wedding, but the wedding rolled by and I didnt even know. Which is highly upsetting. BUT who knows, maybe he could only invite so many ppl or something...I can understand that....
I feel like something is wrong, that I did something to make him not want to talk to me and hang out like we used to.
I miss Ricky so much. I look at him like family and I feel like suddenly my brother hates me and I don't know y. I don't even know if I should ask him what happened or if I did something wrong. I wanna tell him about everything I've been doing, and about my dad and just talk about life in general like we always did - but I don't think I can. Something just doesn't feel right and it scares me to feel like I lost someone who means so much to me.
This hurts my heart so much. I miss him w an unexplanable passion. Oh, what to do. :(
I hope I didnt somehow fuck things up-b4 he left, at his going away party/birthday party things were fine.
Basically, I feel like I did something and I dunno if I did or if he really just is super busy. If thats the case, thats cool, and I understand...I just have that feeling.