innocence Lost: 6/?
Title: Innocence Lost
Author: kellou24
Based On: TV Series
Rating: R/NC-17
Pairings: Eventually Nate/Jenny
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Something traumatic happened to Jenny Humphrey and she doesn't quite know how to deal with it.
Warning: Story contains VERY dark subject matter.
I woke to the sounds of horns blaring outside the window. I groggily sat up, smacking my lips and grimacing at the crusty taste of morning breath.
Or more appropriately, night breath since the only light pouring through the windows is that of the street lights outside.
I felt my eyes narrow as the light hit my eyes. I rubbed the back of my neck and I dimly realized that I was no longer lying in the hard tub waiting for my high to hit. Instead I was tangled up in fine black satin sheets in a bedroom that was neither mine nor one of the Waldorf's.
My breathing accelerated as I felt the panic start to creep through my system. I looked down and saw that I was, thankfully, still wearing the clothes from Nate's party.
My eyes drifted to the wall in front of me where I was met with an oversized framed picture of Chuck Bass. My head tilted in wonder at the image of Chuck wearing his trademark scarf and smirk playing with a chimp.
It'd be laughable if the drugs hadn't apparently already worn off and that I'd just realized that I was in Chuck Bass' bed.
I wrenched the sheets off my body and jumped off the bed, moving to the door as I tried not to think about the diseases that are most likely inhabiting the bed and trying instead to come up with a way to get out of here as quickly and as non confrontational as possible.
I opened the door and stuck my head out, looking both sides to check for any sign of anyone inhabiting the apartment. Seeing no one I hesitantly crept my way down the hallway and towards the elevators. Silver doors in sight, I walked faster towards them and had almost reached the buttons when a voice cut through the silence in the room, stopping me where I stood.
"Where do you think you're going?" drawled Chuck as I turned around to see him leaning against the bar with a glass of scotch in his left hand. He took a sip never letting his brown eyes leave my blue ones as he waited for a response.
"Home," I answer for lack of anything better to say as I hesitantly eye him. He nods accepting this yet I feel a sense of dread as I stare in his eyes. "Well you know it's getting pretty late and I really need to get home so I don't miss my curfew, and since it's already, oh 10:32, I should be going. But thanks for letting me crash here for whatever reason and I'll see you later, okay." I say practically stumbling over my words as I turn around and hurry to the elevator. I'd almost made it when his next words stopped me dead in my tracks.
"I know."
He'd said it so casually yet with an ever present seriousness to it that implied that I should know exactly what he was telling me. And I was pretty sure I did know but I didn't want to draw the wrong conclusions and end up letting something slip that he really has no business knowing. That no one else has no business knowing, which I was about 55% sure that if he ever found out he would let it slip to the whole world.
Blair, Serena, Nate, Eric, Dan, dad and Lily. Hell he'd probably even send out the story on gossip girl's blog to let the whole world know what happened to me.
I was getting ahead of myself, I knew. He probably just thinks that I've picked up a bit of drug habit since my relationship with Damien ended and is threatening to tell Lily and dad.
I turn back around to face him, keeping my face carefully blank so I didn't give away the panic that was threatening to show on my face.
"You know what?" I asked casually.
"I know what happened to you." He said eyes watching mine to decipher any emotion that would give away my inner-turmoil. I wouldn't let him.
"You might want to be a bit more specific because your cryptic little comments are getting annoying." I managed to snark back adding in an eye roll at the end.
"Did you know that when you get high you tend to start babbling about your life? Bet you didn't." He paused for a second to let that sink in before continuing, not giving me a chance to respond to that. "Well anyway you start prattling on and complaining about what an ass your dad is and how no one understands what you're going through right now because their heads are shoved so far up each others asses that they only listen to the shit they say about you instead of listening to you, hearing you out like they should."
"So what if I'm a complainer. Its part of the rich girl with problem's routine that I've adopted to fit in with people like you, Blair and Serena. It's not like it's illegal to complain about shit that's bothering you." I said hoping he was through.
"Stop trying to change the subject," He said giving me an annoyed look.
"Look I don't know what you're talking about and I really don't have the time or patience to listen to your annoying assumptions, so I'm going to go." I said backing away from him and moving as steadily as I could to the elevators.
"You told me you were raped."
I couldn't help but let my eyes fall shut when the words fell upon my ears, hanging stiffly in the air the moment after they'd abruptly left his mouth.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I weakly replied back, my breath hitching pathetically on the last word. I heard a scoff behind me and the sound of his footsteps coming closer to me.
"Sure you don't." He said now standing behind me, his body heat making me uncomfortably aware of how close we were standing."You can talk to me." He said sincerely, resting a hand on my tense shoulder. I abruptly stepped away from him and turned so I was facing him when I was a good distance away from him.
"I don't know where you've come up with this but-."
"Will you stop that?" He shouted at me, the volume and exasperation in his voice making me flinch. He grimaced when he saw me flinch, which seemed to make him compose himself before continuing. "You told me everything about your dad and Nate and all that happened to you so why don't you stop denying it and talk to me about it. Or better yet if you're scared to tell your dad then why don't I just go tell him about this and then you can talk to him about it." He said his face clearly showing how much happier and more comfortable he'd be with that option.
"No one would believe you." I said feeling anger start to overcome the panic that was streaming through my veins as I gave up on the notion of lying in the face of the cold heartless little boy who'd once almost committed the same act on me and who's now trying to get me to confess all my feelings and sit in some weird circle with him as he carried on this charade to make him seem not like the cold asshole he really is and so that he can pretend to be this better person who feels sympathy for someone who he'd once tried to brand with the same label that is now branded across my forehead following me around wherever I go.
Victim.
"Why do you say that?" He asked his forehead crinkling in confusion at my last statement.
"Because if you ever tried to say anything to my dad, I'll tell him what you would of done to me at the kiss on the lips party two years ago if Dan and Serena hadn't showed up to stop you." I watched him swallow and look down guiltily at the reminder of what kind of person he really is. I only felt a small moment of satisfaction at making him unsettled. "Think about it. You'd no longer be invited to the functions they host or get to come to be there Christmas morning when we all unwrap gifts. But I think you should especially think about the looks of disappointment Lily would send you every time you saw her." I'd walked closer to him so that I could whisper the last part in his ear. I pulled back to look into his eyes so he could see that I was completely serious.
I heard him swallow, his own eyes reflecting the internal battle he seemed to be having with himself over what decision he should make and if he was willing to pay the consequences that would follow if he made the wrong one.
"Well I better be going. My new curfew is at eleven thirty." I announce perkily as I walked backwards towards the elevators. He watched me, eyes never leaving mine, as I got on the lift. I gave him my best game show host smile, empty with no real emotion behind it, as the doors started to close, cutting off my view of his conflicted face.
I sighed as I dropped my smile and banged the back of my head against the back wall in the elevator, feeling like all of my energy had left my body, leaving me drained and tired.
The worst part is that I only felt a little bit of satisfaction when I threatened him.
What has happened to me?
A/N: Thank you guys so much for all of your encouragement and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Reviews are like candy to me;P