first day of my new year........
Its been awhile since my last post. A lot has happened. Not a lot to anyone else, just alot in my head. Most of it has happened in the past hour. I had a moment of clarity, but it wasn't one clear thought. Maybe you would call it a feeling......no, better yet: a way of being. As my experience wasn't clear, neither will this post. So here it goes......
This is the beginning of my new year.
I need to be happy with myself before he can EVER make me happy.
Some burned bridges can be repaired, or, at least should be attempted to be repaired.
I'm tired of being my own worst enemy.
I need to make every day a good day.
"I need to tell you I am truely sorry. I'm going to leave you alone. Whatever you do, be happy."
It's true; I am young and mistakes happen. But I need to learn form the mistakes i have already made.
Its been exactly a year since I thought I could never be happier.
In that year, I have thought I could never be unhappier.
When you hit rock bottom, be careful of the earthquakes. They part the earth and you could fall much further.
In the past year, I have found my beauty.
In the past year, I have found beauty in my flaws.
I have lost my way a thousand times since March 19, 2005.
I have found new paths and old along the way.
I have tried to outrun my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
I have tried to drink away my worries.
I have tried to drink you away.
I have tried to drink you into my arms.
I have drank.
I took pills trying to forget you.
I took pills trying to find you.
I fell in love with music.
I fell in love with wanting you. I fell in love with my imagined you.
I have decided to let you go 3 times.
once for him, twice for me.
I have succumbed to peer pressure and done things I told myself I would never do 4 times.
I had a moment of clarity and now I know what must be done.
I have made many new friends.
I have lost friends.
I have found old friends.
"you may trod me in the very dirt, but still, like dust, I'll rise."
This is the first day of my new year............
This is the beginning of my new year.
I need to be happy with myself before he can EVER make me happy.
Some burned bridges can be repaired, or, at least should be attempted to be repaired.
I'm tired of being my own worst enemy.
I need to make every day a good day.
"I need to tell you I am truely sorry. I'm going to leave you alone. Whatever you do, be happy."
It's true; I am young and mistakes happen. But I need to learn form the mistakes i have already made.
Its been exactly a year since I thought I could never be happier.
In that year, I have thought I could never be unhappier.
When you hit rock bottom, be careful of the earthquakes. They part the earth and you could fall much further.
In the past year, I have found my beauty.
In the past year, I have found beauty in my flaws.
I have lost my way a thousand times since March 19, 2005.
I have found new paths and old along the way.
I have tried to outrun my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
I have tried to drink away my worries.
I have tried to drink you away.
I have tried to drink you into my arms.
I have drank.
I took pills trying to forget you.
I took pills trying to find you.
I fell in love with music.
I fell in love with wanting you. I fell in love with my imagined you.
I have decided to let you go 3 times.
once for him, twice for me.
I have succumbed to peer pressure and done things I told myself I would never do 4 times.
I had a moment of clarity and now I know what must be done.
I have made many new friends.
I have lost friends.
I have found old friends.
"you may trod me in the very dirt, but still, like dust, I'll rise."
This is the first day of my new year............