Dealing with Reality. 1/?
Title: Dealing with reality.
Author: Kel_085
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Callie and Arizona talk after their break up and about their future.
disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N Just thought I'd try to write what was going through my head. Little nervous posting among such amazing writers. But here it is. :)
It had been just over a week since Callie and Arizona broke up. They both tried to avoid each other as much as possible. Not in the ‘I don’t ever want to see you way’, but the ’ it hurts too much to see you way’. Callie’s shift was over in just under 15 minutes, so she was walking towards the locker room when she turned the corner and saw the person she’s been trying to avoid all week.
Her heart sunk deep into her chest the pain was still unbearable, but what was worse than just seeing her, was watching her flirt with the cute nurse. They were chatting and laughing together, before the nurse lightly touched Arizona on the arm, before walking off. Callie was furious.
1 week, just 1 week is all it took her to get over me. Callie thought. She was so angry she wanted to confront her, she wanted to yell at her and tell her how much pain she’s in, and how much she’s missing her. But obviously she doesn’t feel the same.
Just as Callie was about to turn around and walk away she noticed a change in Arizona. Her shoulders had slumped, there was no longer anything close to a smile on her face, and she was running her fingers over something that was hanging from her neck, Callie realized instantly that it was her heart pendant. Callie’s heart broke all over again in that moment. She felt guilty for thinking Arizona would move on that quickly. She stood there staring at the blonde wondering whether to approach her or not. It was then that she noticed a drop hit Arizona’s chart, she was crying.
Callie took a step towards where Arizona was standing just as she turned to leave. It was in that moment that Arizona noticed Callie standing there; she quickly placed the necklace back under her scrub top hoping Callie hadn’t seen it and wiped her face. She didn’t want Callie to see her like this. Before she knew what was happening Callie had walked the distance between them and had grabbed her by the arm and started leading her away. She tried to pull away but Callie just tightened her grip.
“Callie let go.” Arizona said between gritted teeth. Callie just gave her a determined look and continued her path down the hall. Before Arizona knew what was happening Callie had lead them into the nearest empty on call room and closed the door and locked it.
Before Arizona could argue she felt Callie wrap her strong arms around her and hold her tight. Her body was overcome with the intoxicating scent that was Callie. That’s all it took for Arizona to break down in the safe arms that belonged to Callie. The tears were falling thick and fast. Callie kissed the top of her head to try and sooth her. They stayed like this for a few minutes.
“I’m so sorry.” Arizona mumbled into Callie’s neck before pulling back out of the hug. Callie moved a hand up to Arizona’s cheek and wiped some tears away with her thumb.
“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about.” Callie said looking deeply into Arizona’s eyes. “You were there to hold me the night we broke up; you were strong for me, because you knew that’s what I needed, so right now I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I know what you’re feeling, I know the pain and I’m here for you okay?” Callie asked just to make sure it was okay. Arizona slowly nodded allowing more tears to fall.
“I didn’t think you wanted to be anywhere near me. You’ve been avoiding me for the last week.” Arizona said allowing a small sob to escape.
“I think we’ve both been avoiding each other. And it’s not that I don’t want to be near you Arizona, it’s just that I don’t know what to say, or how to act around you.” Callie said. “It’s hard to be near you and not want to touch you, to not want to kiss you, I mean right now it’s taking everything in my will power not to throw you on that bed and lose myself in you, and I know that sounds bad because you’re standing here crying.” Callie explained looking down at the ground. Callie felt a soft finger on her chin lifting it up, her eyes locked with the beautiful blue orbs standing across from her.
“I know the feeling.” Arizona said staring into Callie’s big brown eyes, before allowing her eyes to trail down to Callie’s lips, she instinctively licked her lips out of habit, her body was buzzing and even though her heart was broken she still had needs and this girl sure knew how to provoke those needs.
She was pulled out of her trace when she felt Callie’s warm hands near her neck. She felt her soft fingers running down towards the top of her scrub top, the smallest touch was sending shockwaves through her body. It soon dawned on her where Callie’s fingers were travelling and her eyes flew quickly to Callie’s. She tried to pull away, but Callie’s other hand was now on her shoulder holding her there.
Callie’s finger tips tingle. Just the slightest touch of Arizona’s skin sent shivers down her spin. Callie found what she was looking for and softly brought it into view, it was the pendant that she had given her, except it was hanging on a longer chain, one that hung lower below her scrubs. Arizona’s face started to show signs of panic. Callie just smiled at her and ran her fingers over the heart.
“I was going to take it off… I just” Arizona stumbled over her words she didn’t know how to explain it. Did she just tell her the truth? Or should she just try and lie her way out of it.
Callie let the small heart drop back onto Arizona’s chest. “You don’t have to explain Arizona.” Callie said softly before she brought her hand to her own neck and pulled out from under her scrub top the heart pendant that Arizona had given her.
Arizona followed Callie’s hand and was shocked to see that Callie was still wearing her heart pendant also. What shocked her most was that Callie had also replaced the smaller chain with a longer one in an attempt to hide it from view. Arizona looked at Callie and all she could do was show her a small smile. Callie placed her hand on the side of Arizona’s face; she instinctively leaned into it loving the feeling of Callie’s strong soft hand.
“I wasn’t ready to take it off.” Callie stated while running her thumb over Arizona’s cheek. “We may have broken up, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less. Or that I’m ready to completely extract every part of you from my life. It’s hard enough falling asleep at night without you by my side; it’s hard not seeing you first thing in the morning. It’s hard enough just not being able to sit and talk to you about how my day was. I needed to hold onto this.” Callie explained her fingers now running over the small shape hanging from her chest. “I got a new chain because I didn’t know if you’d still have yours on and I didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t know whether it’d be weird.” Callie said a small tear falling down her cheek.
Arizona placed her hands on either side of Callie’s face and looked into her eyes. “It’s not weird. It’s normal. It takes time to get over someone that you love. I took mine off for the first 3 days, but I couldn’t handle not having something of yours close to me. This is all I have. Except your old college shirt that I stole. “Arizona said through a chuckle.
Callie smirked at her. “So that’s where it went?” Callie asked. Shocked at the fact that Arizona had taken it. Arizona just nodded with a cheeky grin plastered across her face. “Who would’ve thought that one Ms Arizona Robbins was a thief?” Callie giggled.
Arizona laughed at that and moved her hand to Callie’s arm and started to run her fingers lightly up and down it, loving the fact that it brought goose bumps to Callie skin. “Well I thought it was rightfully mine since you stole my heart.” Arizona stated.
Callie’s heart started to beat fast at the feeling of Arizona’s light touches up her and down her arm, but more than that it was the blonde’s last statement that made her heartbeat increase. She looked into Arizona’s eyes and couldn’t help but get lost in them. “You look better in it anyway.” Callie told her before taking a step closer to Arizona. “I’ve missed you, and not just in the physical sense. I’ve missed just talking and laughing. Do you think we’ll be able to get that back?” Callie asked before quickly adding. “The talking and the laughing that is. Can we try and be friends?”
Arizona placed her hands on Callie’s hip before looking at her. “I’d like that. I’ve missed you too Calliope.” She said while slowly running her hands up and down Callie’s side. “I miss your laugh, you have a beautiful laugh. And your eyes, I miss them, especially when you’re happy, they sparkle.” Arizona whispered as she leaned in closer to Callie stopping an inch from Callie’s face. “Most of all, I’ve missed your lips.” Arizona said before capturing Callie’s lips in a passionate kiss.
Callie barely had time to register what Arizona had said before she felt warm soft lips upon hers in a passionate fiery kiss full of tongue and teeth clashing. She lost all control she had within her and pushed Arizona roughly up against the locked door, she heard the small girl moan at the pressure of their bodies slamming into the door.
Callie ran her hands down Arizona’s hips and massaged the skin just above the waist band of Arizona’s scrubs. Callie felt like she was on fire, she couldn’t get close enough to the blonde that was pressed between her and the door; she snaked her hands around behind Arizona’s ass and picked her up. Arizona instantly wrapped her legs around Callie. Allowing even more contact.
Callie pulled back from the kiss needing air. She rested her forehead on Arizona’s shoulder before taking a deep breath and lowering Arizona back to a standing position and taking a step back. Arizona looked at Callie with a worried and hurt look on her face.
“Arizona Robbins, you are an evil person. But I’m thinking if this friendship of ours is going to work, it has to remain platonic. I couldn’t sleep with you and not want more than friendship, its hard enough now. I’m thinking we should probably leave this on call room and go get a coffee as friends? And probably make it a rule that we don’t come into any on call room alone.” Callie said.
Arizona bit her bottom lip, she was too worked up for coffee right now, or to worry about the logistics of this friendship. “You’re right Calliope; we ‘should’ leave this room.” Arizona said before taking a step closer to Callie. She leaned in and whispered into Callie’s ear. “But trust me, you don’t want to leave.” Arizona told her.
Callie stood there in shock, the breath caught in her throat and once again before she knew what was happening Arizona had spun them around and pushed Callie up against the door kissing her hard. Callie once again lost all resolve and will power she had. She kissed Arizona back with more force and passion. They were making up for a weeks worth of missed kisses. Tongue clashing for dominance against each other, hands running all over each other’s body. Callie slowly pushed herself and Arizona towards the bed; she heard a small squeal from Arizona as they fell onto it.
Arizona wrapped a leg around Callie’s hip; trying to get better contact she ran her hands up and down Callie’s back underneath Callie’s scrubs. The kiss had now turned to a soft loving kiss, each savoring the feeling of the others mouth on theirs, tasting and reminding themselves what it felt like to kiss each other. “Calliope.” Arizona said into Callie’s mouth.
Callie moved her kisses down along Arizona’s jaw line to her neck just below her ears. She instantly felt Arizona’s hands in her hair pushing her mouth harder into her neck, Callie obliged and continued kissing and biting the sensitive skin. “We should stop.” Arizona managed to mutter out between gasps.
Callie slid off Arizona and laid next to her still kissing her neck softly. “We ‘should’ but do you really want to?”Callie whispered into Arizona’s ear as she ran her hand slowly down Arizona’s body. Before her hand could get too far it was halted but Arizona’s. Callie leaned on one arm and looked at Arizona pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I’m sorry.” Arizona said all flustered. “I should’ve had more control. But around you Calliope all I can think about are those succulent lips all over my body.” She told her, a small blush making its way to her face. “I don’t want to do the friends with benefits. And as much as I want to continue this, and I mean I really do, I agree with you. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with you and just remain friends either.” She told her before sighing.
Callie sat up and pulled Arizona with her so that they were both leaning against the wall. “Don’t apologise. This is hard on both of us right now; we just need to figure out what works best for the both of us. If that’s us being friends and it doesn’t hurt too much for us to have lunch and coffee, sitting around and talking, then great. If its us just working together and seeing each other in passing, then we’ll deal. But I think we at least know what not to do.” Callie giggled and bumped shoulders with Arizona who smiled.
“I’m scared.” Arizona said staring straight ahead. Callie turned to look at her but before she could say anything Arizona continued. “I’m scared that I won’t find anyone like you. I know I could find someone one, that’s easy, but its finding someone I love like you, some who loves me like you love me. I was telling you the truth when I said I wasn’t broken. I’m not, I don’t want my life to change, I was happy with it. I had everything I thought I’d ever need. I had you. I didn’t have the desire to share you, to give up any time with you for a child. Maybe that’s selfish, but I wanted to be able to pick up, and leave for a dirty weekend away with you, without worrying about a kid. I wanted to be able to come home and have hot sex, in every room of the house, and not have to worry about kids. But now… I’m not happy. And I don’t know what to do. I didn’t want my life to change and ironically now it has. I don’t know whats worse giving up the girl I love more than anything in this world.” Arizona turned to look Callie in the eyes so that she could see that she was meaning everything that she was saying. “Or changing my decision. A decision I made over 10 years ago. I never thought I’d find someone I’d love so much. And when you said you wanted kids, I was still thinking selfishly. I was thinking for me, and not for the future I’d have with you.” Arizona sighed. “I don’t know what to do Calliope. I always thought I didn’t want kids, but I don’t want to lose you more than I don’t want kids. I wish there was a simple compromise, a simple answer on how to fix this. I’m sorry, I’m rambling.” Arizona said a small tear escaping.
“Its ok, I’m scared too. I want kids Arizona so much. But since we’ve broken up, the future I see still has kids in them but I don’t get excited about it anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about ‘having’ kids one day, but it was you, that was making my desire for children stronger, it was my desire to spend the rest of my life with you, that made me want a family. I wish there was a simple answer. I wish there was an equal compromise. I promise you that if one comes to mind you’ll be the first to know. But till then how about some dinner and a coffee?” Callie asks leaning over and placing a soft kiss on Arizona’s cheek.
Arizona smiled and stood up holding out her hand towards Callie. “Sounds good, and I promise you that if I think of something or re-evaluate my decision about children you’ll be the first to know.” Arizona answered with a smile. Callie stood up and took Arizona’s hand in hers and pulled her into a hug.
“I love you, Arizona always and forever. Even if we can’t be together in the relationship sense I’m here for you.” Callie said holding her tighter.
“I love you too, Calliope and same goes for you. If you need me for anything I’ll always be here.” Arizona told her pulling out of the hug and pulling Callie towards the door. “Your shifts over right?” She asked.
Callie looked at her watch. “Yep 30 minutes ago.” Callie answered with a smile.
“Pizza?” Arizona asked with a massive grin on her face.
Callie laughed. “How can I say no to that face… or pizza for that matter.” Callie replied.
They walked down the hall talking and laughing, with hope that maybe one day they’ll figure out a way back to each other.
Author: Kel_085
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Callie and Arizona talk after their break up and about their future.
disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N Just thought I'd try to write what was going through my head. Little nervous posting among such amazing writers. But here it is. :)
It had been just over a week since Callie and Arizona broke up. They both tried to avoid each other as much as possible. Not in the ‘I don’t ever want to see you way’, but the ’ it hurts too much to see you way’. Callie’s shift was over in just under 15 minutes, so she was walking towards the locker room when she turned the corner and saw the person she’s been trying to avoid all week.
Her heart sunk deep into her chest the pain was still unbearable, but what was worse than just seeing her, was watching her flirt with the cute nurse. They were chatting and laughing together, before the nurse lightly touched Arizona on the arm, before walking off. Callie was furious.
1 week, just 1 week is all it took her to get over me. Callie thought. She was so angry she wanted to confront her, she wanted to yell at her and tell her how much pain she’s in, and how much she’s missing her. But obviously she doesn’t feel the same.
Just as Callie was about to turn around and walk away she noticed a change in Arizona. Her shoulders had slumped, there was no longer anything close to a smile on her face, and she was running her fingers over something that was hanging from her neck, Callie realized instantly that it was her heart pendant. Callie’s heart broke all over again in that moment. She felt guilty for thinking Arizona would move on that quickly. She stood there staring at the blonde wondering whether to approach her or not. It was then that she noticed a drop hit Arizona’s chart, she was crying.
Callie took a step towards where Arizona was standing just as she turned to leave. It was in that moment that Arizona noticed Callie standing there; she quickly placed the necklace back under her scrub top hoping Callie hadn’t seen it and wiped her face. She didn’t want Callie to see her like this. Before she knew what was happening Callie had walked the distance between them and had grabbed her by the arm and started leading her away. She tried to pull away but Callie just tightened her grip.
“Callie let go.” Arizona said between gritted teeth. Callie just gave her a determined look and continued her path down the hall. Before Arizona knew what was happening Callie had lead them into the nearest empty on call room and closed the door and locked it.
Before Arizona could argue she felt Callie wrap her strong arms around her and hold her tight. Her body was overcome with the intoxicating scent that was Callie. That’s all it took for Arizona to break down in the safe arms that belonged to Callie. The tears were falling thick and fast. Callie kissed the top of her head to try and sooth her. They stayed like this for a few minutes.
“I’m so sorry.” Arizona mumbled into Callie’s neck before pulling back out of the hug. Callie moved a hand up to Arizona’s cheek and wiped some tears away with her thumb.
“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about.” Callie said looking deeply into Arizona’s eyes. “You were there to hold me the night we broke up; you were strong for me, because you knew that’s what I needed, so right now I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I know what you’re feeling, I know the pain and I’m here for you okay?” Callie asked just to make sure it was okay. Arizona slowly nodded allowing more tears to fall.
“I didn’t think you wanted to be anywhere near me. You’ve been avoiding me for the last week.” Arizona said allowing a small sob to escape.
“I think we’ve both been avoiding each other. And it’s not that I don’t want to be near you Arizona, it’s just that I don’t know what to say, or how to act around you.” Callie said. “It’s hard to be near you and not want to touch you, to not want to kiss you, I mean right now it’s taking everything in my will power not to throw you on that bed and lose myself in you, and I know that sounds bad because you’re standing here crying.” Callie explained looking down at the ground. Callie felt a soft finger on her chin lifting it up, her eyes locked with the beautiful blue orbs standing across from her.
“I know the feeling.” Arizona said staring into Callie’s big brown eyes, before allowing her eyes to trail down to Callie’s lips, she instinctively licked her lips out of habit, her body was buzzing and even though her heart was broken she still had needs and this girl sure knew how to provoke those needs.
She was pulled out of her trace when she felt Callie’s warm hands near her neck. She felt her soft fingers running down towards the top of her scrub top, the smallest touch was sending shockwaves through her body. It soon dawned on her where Callie’s fingers were travelling and her eyes flew quickly to Callie’s. She tried to pull away, but Callie’s other hand was now on her shoulder holding her there.
Callie’s finger tips tingle. Just the slightest touch of Arizona’s skin sent shivers down her spin. Callie found what she was looking for and softly brought it into view, it was the pendant that she had given her, except it was hanging on a longer chain, one that hung lower below her scrubs. Arizona’s face started to show signs of panic. Callie just smiled at her and ran her fingers over the heart.
“I was going to take it off… I just” Arizona stumbled over her words she didn’t know how to explain it. Did she just tell her the truth? Or should she just try and lie her way out of it.
Callie let the small heart drop back onto Arizona’s chest. “You don’t have to explain Arizona.” Callie said softly before she brought her hand to her own neck and pulled out from under her scrub top the heart pendant that Arizona had given her.
Arizona followed Callie’s hand and was shocked to see that Callie was still wearing her heart pendant also. What shocked her most was that Callie had also replaced the smaller chain with a longer one in an attempt to hide it from view. Arizona looked at Callie and all she could do was show her a small smile. Callie placed her hand on the side of Arizona’s face; she instinctively leaned into it loving the feeling of Callie’s strong soft hand.
“I wasn’t ready to take it off.” Callie stated while running her thumb over Arizona’s cheek. “We may have broken up, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less. Or that I’m ready to completely extract every part of you from my life. It’s hard enough falling asleep at night without you by my side; it’s hard not seeing you first thing in the morning. It’s hard enough just not being able to sit and talk to you about how my day was. I needed to hold onto this.” Callie explained her fingers now running over the small shape hanging from her chest. “I got a new chain because I didn’t know if you’d still have yours on and I didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t know whether it’d be weird.” Callie said a small tear falling down her cheek.
Arizona placed her hands on either side of Callie’s face and looked into her eyes. “It’s not weird. It’s normal. It takes time to get over someone that you love. I took mine off for the first 3 days, but I couldn’t handle not having something of yours close to me. This is all I have. Except your old college shirt that I stole. “Arizona said through a chuckle.
Callie smirked at her. “So that’s where it went?” Callie asked. Shocked at the fact that Arizona had taken it. Arizona just nodded with a cheeky grin plastered across her face. “Who would’ve thought that one Ms Arizona Robbins was a thief?” Callie giggled.
Arizona laughed at that and moved her hand to Callie’s arm and started to run her fingers lightly up and down it, loving the fact that it brought goose bumps to Callie skin. “Well I thought it was rightfully mine since you stole my heart.” Arizona stated.
Callie’s heart started to beat fast at the feeling of Arizona’s light touches up her and down her arm, but more than that it was the blonde’s last statement that made her heartbeat increase. She looked into Arizona’s eyes and couldn’t help but get lost in them. “You look better in it anyway.” Callie told her before taking a step closer to Arizona. “I’ve missed you, and not just in the physical sense. I’ve missed just talking and laughing. Do you think we’ll be able to get that back?” Callie asked before quickly adding. “The talking and the laughing that is. Can we try and be friends?”
Arizona placed her hands on Callie’s hip before looking at her. “I’d like that. I’ve missed you too Calliope.” She said while slowly running her hands up and down Callie’s side. “I miss your laugh, you have a beautiful laugh. And your eyes, I miss them, especially when you’re happy, they sparkle.” Arizona whispered as she leaned in closer to Callie stopping an inch from Callie’s face. “Most of all, I’ve missed your lips.” Arizona said before capturing Callie’s lips in a passionate kiss.
Callie barely had time to register what Arizona had said before she felt warm soft lips upon hers in a passionate fiery kiss full of tongue and teeth clashing. She lost all control she had within her and pushed Arizona roughly up against the locked door, she heard the small girl moan at the pressure of their bodies slamming into the door.
Callie ran her hands down Arizona’s hips and massaged the skin just above the waist band of Arizona’s scrubs. Callie felt like she was on fire, she couldn’t get close enough to the blonde that was pressed between her and the door; she snaked her hands around behind Arizona’s ass and picked her up. Arizona instantly wrapped her legs around Callie. Allowing even more contact.
Callie pulled back from the kiss needing air. She rested her forehead on Arizona’s shoulder before taking a deep breath and lowering Arizona back to a standing position and taking a step back. Arizona looked at Callie with a worried and hurt look on her face.
“Arizona Robbins, you are an evil person. But I’m thinking if this friendship of ours is going to work, it has to remain platonic. I couldn’t sleep with you and not want more than friendship, its hard enough now. I’m thinking we should probably leave this on call room and go get a coffee as friends? And probably make it a rule that we don’t come into any on call room alone.” Callie said.
Arizona bit her bottom lip, she was too worked up for coffee right now, or to worry about the logistics of this friendship. “You’re right Calliope; we ‘should’ leave this room.” Arizona said before taking a step closer to Callie. She leaned in and whispered into Callie’s ear. “But trust me, you don’t want to leave.” Arizona told her.
Callie stood there in shock, the breath caught in her throat and once again before she knew what was happening Arizona had spun them around and pushed Callie up against the door kissing her hard. Callie once again lost all resolve and will power she had. She kissed Arizona back with more force and passion. They were making up for a weeks worth of missed kisses. Tongue clashing for dominance against each other, hands running all over each other’s body. Callie slowly pushed herself and Arizona towards the bed; she heard a small squeal from Arizona as they fell onto it.
Arizona wrapped a leg around Callie’s hip; trying to get better contact she ran her hands up and down Callie’s back underneath Callie’s scrubs. The kiss had now turned to a soft loving kiss, each savoring the feeling of the others mouth on theirs, tasting and reminding themselves what it felt like to kiss each other. “Calliope.” Arizona said into Callie’s mouth.
Callie moved her kisses down along Arizona’s jaw line to her neck just below her ears. She instantly felt Arizona’s hands in her hair pushing her mouth harder into her neck, Callie obliged and continued kissing and biting the sensitive skin. “We should stop.” Arizona managed to mutter out between gasps.
Callie slid off Arizona and laid next to her still kissing her neck softly. “We ‘should’ but do you really want to?”Callie whispered into Arizona’s ear as she ran her hand slowly down Arizona’s body. Before her hand could get too far it was halted but Arizona’s. Callie leaned on one arm and looked at Arizona pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I’m sorry.” Arizona said all flustered. “I should’ve had more control. But around you Calliope all I can think about are those succulent lips all over my body.” She told her, a small blush making its way to her face. “I don’t want to do the friends with benefits. And as much as I want to continue this, and I mean I really do, I agree with you. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with you and just remain friends either.” She told her before sighing.
Callie sat up and pulled Arizona with her so that they were both leaning against the wall. “Don’t apologise. This is hard on both of us right now; we just need to figure out what works best for the both of us. If that’s us being friends and it doesn’t hurt too much for us to have lunch and coffee, sitting around and talking, then great. If its us just working together and seeing each other in passing, then we’ll deal. But I think we at least know what not to do.” Callie giggled and bumped shoulders with Arizona who smiled.
“I’m scared.” Arizona said staring straight ahead. Callie turned to look at her but before she could say anything Arizona continued. “I’m scared that I won’t find anyone like you. I know I could find someone one, that’s easy, but its finding someone I love like you, some who loves me like you love me. I was telling you the truth when I said I wasn’t broken. I’m not, I don’t want my life to change, I was happy with it. I had everything I thought I’d ever need. I had you. I didn’t have the desire to share you, to give up any time with you for a child. Maybe that’s selfish, but I wanted to be able to pick up, and leave for a dirty weekend away with you, without worrying about a kid. I wanted to be able to come home and have hot sex, in every room of the house, and not have to worry about kids. But now… I’m not happy. And I don’t know what to do. I didn’t want my life to change and ironically now it has. I don’t know whats worse giving up the girl I love more than anything in this world.” Arizona turned to look Callie in the eyes so that she could see that she was meaning everything that she was saying. “Or changing my decision. A decision I made over 10 years ago. I never thought I’d find someone I’d love so much. And when you said you wanted kids, I was still thinking selfishly. I was thinking for me, and not for the future I’d have with you.” Arizona sighed. “I don’t know what to do Calliope. I always thought I didn’t want kids, but I don’t want to lose you more than I don’t want kids. I wish there was a simple compromise, a simple answer on how to fix this. I’m sorry, I’m rambling.” Arizona said a small tear escaping.
“Its ok, I’m scared too. I want kids Arizona so much. But since we’ve broken up, the future I see still has kids in them but I don’t get excited about it anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about ‘having’ kids one day, but it was you, that was making my desire for children stronger, it was my desire to spend the rest of my life with you, that made me want a family. I wish there was a simple answer. I wish there was an equal compromise. I promise you that if one comes to mind you’ll be the first to know. But till then how about some dinner and a coffee?” Callie asks leaning over and placing a soft kiss on Arizona’s cheek.
Arizona smiled and stood up holding out her hand towards Callie. “Sounds good, and I promise you that if I think of something or re-evaluate my decision about children you’ll be the first to know.” Arizona answered with a smile. Callie stood up and took Arizona’s hand in hers and pulled her into a hug.
“I love you, Arizona always and forever. Even if we can’t be together in the relationship sense I’m here for you.” Callie said holding her tighter.
“I love you too, Calliope and same goes for you. If you need me for anything I’ll always be here.” Arizona told her pulling out of the hug and pulling Callie towards the door. “Your shifts over right?” She asked.
Callie looked at her watch. “Yep 30 minutes ago.” Callie answered with a smile.
“Pizza?” Arizona asked with a massive grin on her face.
Callie laughed. “How can I say no to that face… or pizza for that matter.” Callie replied.
They walked down the hall talking and laughing, with hope that maybe one day they’ll figure out a way back to each other.