my thoughts
so let's see; i've been doing a lot of thinking and writing down my thoughts in my journal i keep at home. I'm trying to decide on colleges and let me say it is a tough decision. I want to have my cake and eat it too, but it's not looking too good. I now am exploring asl interpreting as a side career and art history as my major. Rachel changed my life forever. She has shared with me a lot of her experiences and i am so grateful to have met her. but i am sad. i feel like her little sister and i want more; idk what it is but i love who i am when i'm around her or when she talks to me; however, i know she doesn't feel the same way and it hurts; it's like a dagger going through my heart. i know this sounds really stupid but it's the truth and oh well. sometimes i wish i was deaf. i really want to be one of her good friends and would love to travel Europe with her; however, i'm very doubtful she would do it with me. uhh it's just so hard i wish i was older. i found this quote on one of her friend's entries but it's the only way to describe how i feel..."Everytime you talk to me or even look at me my heart skips a beat and it begins to smile, but for some odd reason i feel like crying because i know deep down inside that you don't feel the same way when i look at you or talk to you."