[Dizzy.]
I hate what excedrin does to me. I hate migraines more, though. Feel like throwing up...
Brighter side of things, I am feeling okay emotionally. God, so much in such a short time. I don't realize how dizzy I am until I sit still long enough to see things still spinning.
But I came out okay. I wobbled on my feet at first, I stumbled a few times in the beginning, but when the toughest points came I was able to hold fast. I am happy that the right words came at the right time when mom needed them. Still sad, but at peace on deeper levels about Vovo. I was scared that what would be left of my memories of him would be the ones where he was sick... It might not be the most appropriate comparison, but when I saw Ren dying, that image stuck stronger than the better ones did. I was terrified that would happen again. I am indescribably thankful that it didn't. I really am.
My school schedule sucks really hard this quarter, I kind of want to punch things when I think about it. I don't (to my knowledge) have any difficult classes (Vocab can't be too hard, right?) but just the hours suck ass. I got accustomed to having my transcription period last, meaning I could go home just after typing up my transcript (which typically takes me 15 mins tops) so I could go home an hour early, but now I don't have that luxury. I have it first period now, which means I get to show up an hour early, type for 15 minutes, and then fucking wait an hour in my car for the next class to start. *grumbles* Fucking assholes! >:|
I should try to stay optimistic... I did do really well on my Anatomy final last quarter and the shit storm has blown over, so if I'm lucky, I'll have some time to let things calm down. Considering I had one of the toughest classes last quarter, got stuck on my 100's, had a huge falling out with my friends (I left the cosplay group a few weeks ago, I think I neglected to mention that), and then Vovo passing away all at the same time... I somehow scrambled out of that mess keeping my grades up, finally passing, gaining stability with the friends that were important, and then trying to help the family as much as any Keika could... x.x Definitely the two hardest weeks I've braved. I feel really happy that I didn't give up or throw a fit or anything like that. I kept my head on the entire time, even when I was scared shitless. I'm exhausted... but okay.
Still I don't want to get cocky. I have a lot more changes to cope with and a head to keep screwed on in the process. x.x Wish me luck, if you are not the praying sorts...!
Brighter side of things, I am feeling okay emotionally. God, so much in such a short time. I don't realize how dizzy I am until I sit still long enough to see things still spinning.
But I came out okay. I wobbled on my feet at first, I stumbled a few times in the beginning, but when the toughest points came I was able to hold fast. I am happy that the right words came at the right time when mom needed them. Still sad, but at peace on deeper levels about Vovo. I was scared that what would be left of my memories of him would be the ones where he was sick... It might not be the most appropriate comparison, but when I saw Ren dying, that image stuck stronger than the better ones did. I was terrified that would happen again. I am indescribably thankful that it didn't. I really am.
My school schedule sucks really hard this quarter, I kind of want to punch things when I think about it. I don't (to my knowledge) have any difficult classes (Vocab can't be too hard, right?) but just the hours suck ass. I got accustomed to having my transcription period last, meaning I could go home just after typing up my transcript (which typically takes me 15 mins tops) so I could go home an hour early, but now I don't have that luxury. I have it first period now, which means I get to show up an hour early, type for 15 minutes, and then fucking wait an hour in my car for the next class to start. *grumbles* Fucking assholes! >:|
I should try to stay optimistic... I did do really well on my Anatomy final last quarter and the shit storm has blown over, so if I'm lucky, I'll have some time to let things calm down. Considering I had one of the toughest classes last quarter, got stuck on my 100's, had a huge falling out with my friends (I left the cosplay group a few weeks ago, I think I neglected to mention that), and then Vovo passing away all at the same time... I somehow scrambled out of that mess keeping my grades up, finally passing, gaining stability with the friends that were important, and then trying to help the family as much as any Keika could... x.x Definitely the two hardest weeks I've braved. I feel really happy that I didn't give up or throw a fit or anything like that. I kept my head on the entire time, even when I was scared shitless. I'm exhausted... but okay.
Still I don't want to get cocky. I have a lot more changes to cope with and a head to keep screwed on in the process. x.x Wish me luck, if you are not the praying sorts...!