run away with me
title: run away with me
pairing/s: baekhyun/chanyeol
genre: romance, slight-angst
length: 4,995 wc
rating: g
warning/s: clichés and very vague, weird stuff, unbetaed
summary: chanyeol knows it's crazy but he says it anyway.
an1: written for for_you_i_am for exoforsichuan (omg i finally wrote one; one more to go)
an2: deeply sorry for everything. still, thank you to steph and rei. ily both ♥
His backpack slung over his left shoulder, Chanyeol pastes on a smile as he opens the door to his best friend's room. The tall boy immediately squints, eyes trying to adjust to the gloom he finds inside. All the lights are out and the curtains are closed, only thin slivers of the afternoon sun spilling through the gaps. It takes him a few seconds to locate the boy huddling at the corner of the room in a lump of bedclothes and blankets, a head of messy brown hair peeking out. It's one of those days, Chanyeol thinks fondly before he closes the door behind him, plunging the room in semi-darkness once again.
"Baekhyun? Can I turn on the lights now?"
"No," comes a whispered reply.
"But how can we do homework if we don't?" Chanyeol walks further in, placing his bag by the foot of the bed on the way to where his friend is. He drops down in front of Baekhyun, crosses his long legs, and puts his large hands on the other's thin shoulders. "Baek?"
"I'm not going to do homework anymore. I'm not going to class. I'm just going to rot alone here. That's what my parents want anyway!" Baekhyun says, louder this time but voice still muffled by the bed covers wrapped around him. His head remains bowed and Chanyeol frowns in worry.
He has known Baekhyun forever and he knows what every whimper and every quirk of his lips mean. He knows if his friend’s happy or merely pretending to be with just the way his voice dips or soars. And right now, that tremor he’s hearing means something’s really wrong. He’s crying and probably has been crying all afternoon.
Chanyeol pulls the blanket down enough to reveal Baekhyun’s face. He tilts the other’s head up and traces the corner of Baekhyun’s eyes with the pad of his thumbs. They are damp with tears and he feels new ones sliding against his fingers.
“Hey,” he says softly.
Baekhyun suddenly shrugs off all of the bed covers and launches himself at Chanyeol, grabbing onto his shirt and burying his face against the taller male’s chest. Chanyeol looks down at the weeping boy in surprise and his heart clenches at the sight. His arms go protectively around Baekhyun, pulling him closer and more comfortably on his lap. He rests his chin on top of the smaller boy’s head and he rocks him gently, letting Baekhyun cry all over him. Park Chanyeol is, after all, Byun Baekhyun’s best friend and ruined shirts are part of the deal.
“They’re so unfair,” Baekhyun cries. “I already missed the school trip. Haven’t gone to the fair, either. Now they just told me I can’t go to the Senior dance!”
Chanyeol feels the smaller boy shake with every sob and he tightens his hold on him, wanting to absorb whatever pain Baekhyun’s feeling.
“Why are they like this, Yeol? It’s the last. There’s no more next time. Why won’t they let me? They really don’t care about me!”
“Shhh,” Chanyeol hushes him. “Don’t say that. They love you, Baek. They love you as much as I-” He abruptly cuts himself off, throat closing up with what he almost said.
Baekhyun looks up and their eyes meet, the smaller’s, teary and curious. “What-”
The younger boy shakes his head with a short laugh and tries to distract his friend with a hand on Baekhyun’s waist. It works. With well-practiced moves, he lets his long fingers trail along the other’s ribs and has Baekhyun giggling and squirming against him.
“Stop. S-stop,” his best friend gasps weakly in between laughter.
Chanyeol finally takes pity on him and with a last swipe of his fingers the taller boy stands up carefully, carrying Baekhyun in his arms. He weighs no more than a feather. Chanyeol vaguely remembers a time when it was Baekhyun who carries him on his back when they were younger. His grin falls a little but quickly returns in full when his best friend rests his head against the crook of his neck.
“If you drop me, you’re dead,” Baekhyun threatens.
Chanyeol brings him to the bed and quickly swings him into a big arch, as if he’s about to throw the shorter boy in the middle of the mattress. Baekhyun yelps but Chanyeol slows down at the last second and lays his best friend gently onto the bed. He receives a small punch to the stomach for his prank but it’s okay because Baekhyun’s smiling again. He straightens up and walks over to the windows to open the curtains. Late afternoon sun pours in, driving away the darkness and bathing the room in pleasant warmth.
He turns and his gaze finds Baekhyun on the bed in his oversized shirt and ratty pajama bottoms and Chanyeol thinks he has never seen a more beautiful sight. The light seems to enjoy trifling with the strands of his hair, making it gleam like burnished copper one second and shine like threads of gold the next. He feels that familiar breathlessness attack him again-an affliction he got that day he woke up and realized he was in love with Byun Baekhyun.
Ten years together and counting, he thinks. Somewhere in the middle of their friendship, he discovers that the skipping of his heart beat and the stupid grin on his face every time Baekhyun holds his hand (or smiles or breathes) is him falling in love with his friend; a downward spiral that is equal parts glorious and painful. Glorious when there are times he’s sure Baekhyun feels the same and painful because it remains unsaid.
It’s just that Chanyeol doesn’t know if there will ever be a right time to confess. Because he’s certain doing so is selfish and he can never be selfish with Baekhyun. So although he wants to say it to him a million times over-say it until he marks Baekhyun with his love-he holds his feelings in check. He stops just a fraction of a squeeze from hugging him too tight and pauses a millisecond of a nuzzle from planting a full kiss on his lips.
He just endures the skipping heartbeats and stupid grins for to be beside Baekhyun is enough. He’ll do anything to be close to him as long as he can; do everything to make him happy.
Right now he’s certain he’s doing a poor job of it because under the same light that perfectly sets off his delicate features, Chanyeol sees that Baekhyun’s smile is frayed at the edges, lonely and tired.
“I want to be free, Chanyeol. I want to breathe for just one second,” Baekhyun says quietly. He lets out a sad little laugh that effectively breaks Chanyeol’s heart. “But it will never happen.”
The younger boy opens his mouth but instead of the usual words of reassurance that are always on the ready on his lips, he stutters as a crazy idea catches him in its unrelenting grip. It doesn’t let go even if thinking of the consequences alone leaves Chanyeol staggering. It’s definitely insane and all kinds of impossible yet he steps dazedly forward and the words leave his mouth even before he can stop them.
“Run away with me.”
Baekhyun looks at him startled, his eyes mirroring disbelief. Chanyeol can't believe he said it, too. But he can't make himself take it back.
"What are you saying, Yeol?"
Chanyeol takes the remaining steps towards the bed and promptly sits on it, knees shaking. "Wait, let me just-catch my breath." It's silly. He's panicking, his mind's whirring, but he's still not backing down. "I know it's fast and it makes no sense and-I'm not sure but we can take my dad's old car. We can and we just, I have some money and I can drive. All you need to bring is yourself. And maybe clothes! Yes, clothes and blankets and you can bring a bag. Of course."
He's panting as if he's already running when in truth he's just so nervous. His mind keep repeating that this is surely the mother of all bad ideas and he should stop now but his mouth won't listen to him.
"Let me take you away. Anywhere you want to be. I'll take you there. Anywhere," Chanyeol promises fervently. Anywhere where I can see you smile. "It's crazy, Baek. I know it's crazy but. I-I'm not explaining this properly at all, am I? I'll take care of you just... We can make plans as we go." Chanyeol runs his hand through his hair while the other grabs tightly on the bed covers. "Let me, let me just-"
Let me be the place where you hide. Let me take you away where you'll be free. Let me make you happy. Let me.
He wants to say all of those but he's never good with words so he sighs in frustration. He watches as his knuckles whiten against Baekhyun's dark blue sheets from the stranglehold he has on it. Then he feels a warm hand cover his and Chanyeol glances up at Baekhyun's searching eyes. The smaller boy leans close until their foreheads are touching.
"Baek," he rasps, suddenly so desperate.
Baekhyun smiles. "Let's go."
Chanyeol's palms are sweating as his thumbs anxiously tap on the steering wheel. Baekhyun's taking so long. He knew it. He knows he shouldn't have listened to his friend. He should have fetched Baekhyun right from the Byun's backdoor and shouldn't just have stayed here in the car, waiting and being useless. He shouldn't have let Baekhyun convince him that he can slip from their house easily by midnight, that Chanyeol should just park in front of their lawn with the car engine running so that when he comes out they'll be good to go.
He fidgets again while looking out for Baekhyun, hoping he'd show up any second now. He really shouldn't even have suggested this, he scolds himself angrily. What if Baekhyun got caught? Or what if Baekhyun fell down the stairs with his haste? What if he slipped and was now lying on their kitchen floor with a broken bone or something? What if he's unconscious? What if-
Lost in thought, he jumps in his seat when someone knocks on the car window. It's Baekhyun, grinning but looking pale and cold. Chanyeol immediately goes out and scoops the smaller boy in his arms. He runs to the passenger side and deposits him on the seat then quickly returns behind the wheels. His heart is thumping fast with adrenaline as he steps on the gas and they speed away. He only takes his first easy breath when they round the first corner towards freedom.
"You should've seen your face," Baekhyun says with a faint chuckle. "You looked positively green."
"Shut up," Chanyeol groans. "I was worried, okay?"
"Sorry," the older boy replies in a thready voice. "It was a bit-difficult."
It's just then that Chanyeol notices Baekhyun's bare feet when his best friend pulls his legs up and hugs his knees. He's in his pajamas, a yellow one this time-a little loose on the collar and with sleeves that go past Baekhyun's fingers. The other boy didn't bring anything at all with him except for his smile, albeit a tired looking one right now.
Keeping one eye on the road, Chanyeol reaches at the back seat to pull a blanket from the pile of stuff he brought. He parks the car for a moment, tucking Baekhyun under the blanket and making sure the temperature inside the car is warm enough for his best friend. Baekhyun smiles at him gratefully before leaning against the car door, watching the passing scenery through the window.
"Where are we going, Chanyeol?"
"It's going to be a surprise, Baek. You should sleep first if you can," he replies, absently brushing away his friend's fringe away from his pretty face.
Baekhyun nods and closes his eyes. "Please don't crash us into anything," the shorter male murmurs sleepily.
That startles a laugh from Chanyeol who rolls his eyes at his friend's teasing. "I won't. I promise."
They're now on the highway and he's relieved that there are only a few cars out at this time. He is by no means a great driver and it helps that there are less things to crash the car into. He glances at Baekhyun from time to time, the tightness in his chest easing as time passes. He looks peaceful sleeping curled into a ball in his seat, as if running away with Chanyeol isn't something to be worried about. As if he trusts Chanyeol with his life.
Chanyeol's phone vibrates in his pocket and he takes it out.
He left his shoes.
Chanyeol, please take care of our Baekhyun.
He can almost see Mrs. Byun's face as she typed the message, the sadness that must be etched there. He bites his lower lip to keep them from trembling. I will. I'll take care of him.
Whatever it takes.
He has been doing it for a long time anyway, since that fateful day Baekhyun scraped his knee when their bikes crashed into each other at the park during second grade. He saw the small boy holding back his tears and Chanyeol wanted to protect and take care of him even if was the one who ended up with four stitches and a broken arm.
His best friend doesn't deserve tears because Baekhyun makes him so happy. Whenever the older boy leans his head on his shoulder, Chanyeol has a tendency to thank all the stars that lined up so Park Chanyeol can meet Byun Baekhyun.
Not everyone can be so lucky.
The skies are a few shades lighter when Chanyeol turns into the road that will take them to his surprise. Just in time, he thinks. There isn't much to see at this hour of dawn, but Chanyeol supposes the place will be beautiful when morning comes-as beautiful as Baekhyun is when he wakes up with his hair sticking out this way and that and his mouth spread into a lopsided grin.
How nice it will be if the world looks like Baekhyun, Chanyeol tells himself. If the skies are as dazzling as his best friend's eyes then no one needs to ever feel lonely. If the trees are as slender as Baekhyun's fingers and if each flower is as pretty as Baekhyun's lips. But then again just a world with Baekhyun in it is already a world so wonderful, he can't ask for more.
"Are we there yet?" the boy beside him asks with a yawn, eyelids droopy.
"Almost, just a bit more," Chanyeol answers. "Oh, no. Don't open your eyes yet. You're not allowed to see where we're going."
"But why?" Baekhyun whines but he keeps them shut. "How long 'til we get there?"
"Just a few more minutes, Baek." He sees the elder pout at his reply and he smirks. "Nope, that won't work this time.
"It's worth a try," Baekhyun mutters.
Chanyeol laughs and reaches over to pinch a cute nose. But his hand gets caught by two smaller ones and he finds he can't take it back. It's trapped in Baekhyun's hold and the smaller boy deems it fitting that it stays there on his lap entwined with his as they drive along the quiet road. It's tricky to drive with one hand but it's okay. As his palm connects and merges with Baekhyun's he thinks it's all worth it.
"This is dumb, you know."
Chanyeol shakes his head at his best friend. They left the car a few minutes ago and are now on foot, deliberately making their way towards Chanyeol's surprise. The taller's hand is covering Baekhyun's eyes while his other's wrapped around Baekhyun's waist and is holding one of his hands, supporting him securely against his side. Chanyeol could've just carried him because he's barefoot and all but his best friend insists that he'll walk so here they are.
"Yeol, you don't have to cover my eyes anymore. I already know where we are. I can actually hear the waves from miles away and there's sand in between my toes."
The younger male sighs. "I know, okay. Just pretend it's still a surprise."
Baekhyun laughs suddenly. "Okay. I'm a pest, aren't I?"
"Yup," he answers without hesitation. He gets a weak elbow to his side and he chuckles, feeling happier with every slow progress they're making. Finally reaching the perfect spot, they stop and Chanyeol uncovers his best friend's eyes. He watches in anticipation as they flutter open.
Baekhyun's lips part in awe as he sees the vast ocean in front of him, waves furiously rushing at them only to crash into the shore before they retreat. The air is cold and it nips at their skin, painting Chanyeol's large ears red and dusting Baekhyun's nose with the same hue. His best friend looks up and beams at him and for the billionth time Chanyeol wants to say I love you.
"Surprise?" he tells him instead.
Baekhyun giggles and returns his gaze to the ocean, resting his body against Chanyeol's and wrapping both of Chanyeol's long arms around his middle. "Best surprise," he whispers.
They're standing there for some time when he feels Baekhyun lean tiredly against him. Chanyeol guides him down to sit, making a place for the smaller boy in between his bent legs; arranging their clumsy limbs so that Baekhyun's back is against his chest and the boy can place his head on Chanyeol's shoulder-which he does.
"I give you VIP seats to the best show in town," Chanyeol teases, placing a soft kiss against Baekhyun's temple.
"The best seats," Baekhyun agrees. "This is very nice."
"Now, shush and enjoy the show."
As if on cue, the sun comes out of its hiding, crawling its way up the horizon-a fiery ball of light brightening the sky from a dark blue into a reddish gold, chasing away the chill of the night before and replacing it with something infinitely warmer. Something, to Chanyeol, that feels like hope.
"Yeol, it's so beautiful!" Baekhyun says giddily. "Have you ever seen the sunrise before?"
Chanyeol wants to say that he has. He sees it every time Baekhyun scrunches his nose and every time Baekhyun laughs. He sees it when Baekhyun calls his name or when Baekhyun rolls his eyes at him. He's pretty sure he can name dozens and dozens of things that Baekhyun does that can match the beauty of a sunrise but he's dumb and has never been good with words. Haven't they established that already? So he settles with a simple, "Yeah."
"Where do we go next, Chanyeol?"
Chanyeol holds on to Baekhyun tighter. "There are a lot of places we can go to, Baek. I told you anywhere, right? We can go around the country, from one end to the other. Just tell me and I'll take you there."
Baekhyun laughs. "Okay, and once we're done here, can we go abroad too? I want to see Paris and Spain."
"We'll go there. I'll have to probably sell my arm but I promise to take you to the Eiffel and throw you off from the top," he teases.
Baekhyun pouts. "I'll find a new best friend. Someone who can speak French and can cook me spaghetti."
"I think that's Italian."
"Same difference," the smaller boy answers in a huff.
"Would you really? Find a new best friend?" The question's meant to be teasing but Chanyeol can't quite keep the seriousness from his tone.
"Hmmm. If I find someone really, really tall with bulging eyes and maniacal smile and humongous ears and gigantic hands and gargantuan feet and extra extra large heart whose name is Park Chanyeol," Baekhyun pauses for effect. "Then maybe I'll dump you for him."
"You punk," he says with narrowed eyes before he bursts out laughing. "Do I really look that terrible?"
"Yes but that's good, isn't it? Then no one would take you away from me."
The taller boy doesn't know how to respond so he just buries his face on his best friend's shoulder. No one can take him away from Baekhyun and he desperately wishes the opposite is true, too.
Chanyeol hears his stomach rumble. He has packed some food in his bag and he's about to ask Baekhyun if he wants to eat when he feels his best friend tense in his arms. It's so unexpected that Chanyeol falls back on his elbows, gaping, when Baekhyun suddenly stands and runs towards the ocean. It takes a few seconds to recover from his shock and Chanyeol quickly scrambles to his feet to run after his friend.
"Baekhyun!"
The smaller boy doesn't get far. He stumbles and falls to his knees just as he reaches the edge of the water. Chanyeol stops to hunch over his friend, his face marred with worry and fear. "Hey."
Baekhyun looks up and there's a fresh track of tears running down his soft cheeks and Chanyeol feels like he's failing again.
"Do you know what's scary, Yeol? That no matter how hard I've tried to run from it, I know it will always catch me." The tears fall freely. "And I'm just-I'm so tired, you know?"
Baekhyun sounds so resigned. Chanyeol doesn’t cry but at that point he wants to. He also wants to rage against every unfair thing in the world. Except he can't so he bends down and catches his best friend's face in his palms. "Then don't run." Chanyeol lets go and turns around before he bends back down and gives Baekhyun his back. "Come on, I'll carry you."
"But then you'll be the one tired."
Chanyeol pays no attention to Baekhyun's reply. He reaches for the shorter male's thin arms and wounds it around his neck. Baekhyun doesn't say a word when Chanyeol lifts him on his back. The elder's pajamas are wet and his feet are cold against Chanyeol's waist but the taller boy doesn't mind.
"Chanyeol-"
"I won't get tired, Baek," Chanyeol says. "I'll never ever get tired if it's you."
He feels his friend burrow himself closer against his back. "Then can we-I don't want to go back yet," Baekhyun pleads in a weak voice.
They take a stroll along the shore with Chanyeol still carrying Baekhyun on his back.
"I saw my parents," Baekhyun starts. "They were hiding near the stairs when I went out the backdoor. I was waiting for them to stop me but they didn't."
Chanyeol pauses. He's been found out. "Baek, I'm-"
"And I don't believe your dad will just let you take the car. Knowing you, you'd have made a racket trying to sneak out of your house," Baekhyun continues, a small smile evident in his tone.
"Baekhyun, I-"
"It's okay, Chanyeol." Baekhyun bumps his forehead gently against the back of Chanyeol's head. "For a little while, I still felt free."
"I'm sorry," he replies for he doesn't know what else to say. Asking Baekhyun to run away with him was an impulsive decision and he might've wanted to do it for real but he knows they can't. He's just on the verge of adulthood. Almost but not quite there.
But he's not sure if they have the time to wait for that day, if Baekhyun can wait for him. So he did the next best thing.
He secretly told both their parents his plans. He pleaded and begged and cried to give this sunrise to Baekhyun. It was all worth it when they said yes.
"You always do these things for me," Baekhyun says after a while."You always take care of me. I'd like to do something for you, too."
Chanyeol has to strain his ears because his best friend's voice is getting fainter. "There's no need for that." I'll do anything for you, Baek.
"But I have to because," Baekhyun replies haltingly. "What if you forget about me?"
The younger male chuckles to hide the pinch in his heart. "That's impossible."
"If you say so. But Yeol?"
"Hmm?"
"I love-your voice. Sometimes, well, most of the time I just tune what you're saying out and just listen to it," Baekhyun says, incorrigible as ever.
Chanyeol sighs in exasperation and affection, skipping a little to press Baekhyun closer to him. "I knew it."
"Tell me a story, Yeol. I want to hear your voice."
Chanyeol's hands tremble for he's suddenly so afraid but he swallows the fear and says in his deep and steady voice, "Alright, I will. But you have to promise to hear it until the end, okay?" Baekhyun mumbles.
"Baek, okay?"
"Of course-Dumbdumb."
"Okay then." Park Chanyeol doesn’t cry. He has to remember that. "The story starts out in Seoul-"
"Can't it be in Paris?"
"Baek-"
"Okay, okay."
"So there's this boy. He's a little bit on the chubby side nonetheless he's really cute," Chanyeol starts, lips quirking when he hears his friend mumbles an I think I know where this is going. But he proceeds. "So this cute boy-"
Baekhyun snorts.
"So this cute boy," he repeats. "Owns a very special thing. He has this pair of really, really big ears. That's why he's called-"
"Park Chanyeol," Baekhyun butts in.
"No, he's called Elephant Ears,” The younger boy gets lost for a moment in his memories before he goes on. "Now in his street, there was another boy almost the same age as him but he’s really skinny. Like, so skinny that a strong wind can blow him away.”
“I wasn’t that skinny.”
Chanyeol ignores his best friend’s mumbling. “The other boy was called Pretty Fingers because he has, well, the prettiest fingers. They weren’t exactly friends at first because Pretty Fingers always gave him grief for having humongous ears. He teased him a lot but Elephant Ears didn’t cry. He never cries.”
“Still, they became closer as they grew up together and, in the case of Elephant Ears, grow was an understatement. His ears grew larger but so did the rest of him so it wasn’t so bad. He's at least a head taller than Pretty Fingers and it’s the best. The other boy should really have been called Tiny Boy but then Pretty Fingers grew even more beautiful-from the tops of his head to the tips of his toes.”
“And every year since, it seemed he only got more beautiful that sometimes-Elephant Ears couldn’t take his eyes off him. He liked it most when Pretty Fingers smiled, because when he did, Elephant Ears felt like he was flying. It went on until he woke up one morning and the first thing he thought of was to hold those pretty fingers forever. That would be enough.”
Chanyeol takes a shaky breath. “It's just that, one day, they said that he can't hold on to them forever. When he found out, he felt betrayed. His best friend would be taken away from him and he’s afraid that no matter how fast he runs, there will come a time when he could no longer catch up.”
He feels the slide of hot tears against the side of his neck and Chanyeol can feel his own threatening to fall.
“So he promised that he’d do everything to make pretty Fingers happy because maybe, whoever was up there would change their mind and wouldn’t take his friend away anymore. He’d be a good boy, he’d do everything. But then he saw Pretty Fingers cry and Elephant Ears finally gave in and did something selfish. He said he wouldn’t ever be selfish with his best friend but he’s just so afraid.” Chanyeol tries to blink the tears away. “He snatched those slender fingers and ran away with him. Even if he knew it was bad, even if he knew it wouldn’t change a thing. He just wanted to see Pretty fingers smile again.”
“Thank you,” Baekhyun whispers.
“They reached a magical place where the lights played with Pretty Finger's eyes and made them glow, making Elephant Ears stare in wonder and in awe. But once there, Pretty fingers unexpectedly asked him what he wanted and Elephant Ears couldn’t answer. Though he wanted so much to say, "Don't go to a place where I can't reach you. Stay."'
The tears flow steadily. “I’m… sorry… Yeol.”
Chanyeol shakes his head and pulls Baekhyun ever so closer. "It's not your fault, Baek. Don't cry."
"Chanyeol," and Baekhyun's voice is faint and he almost loses to the crashing waves. "Elephant Ears made Pretty Fingers... really happy. Always."
The taller boy feels a soft kiss against his jaw.
Chanyeol nods and continues to walk, heart heavy inside his chest. He can’t see anything past the tears clouding his vision and his throat hurts so much. He gets the urge to break into a sprint, to take Baekhyun further away. He wants to take him somewhere where there are no shadows and where he can fill him with the same music he has filled Chanyeol’s life with.
He turns his face and he can see the tops of Baekhyun's head resting on his shoulder. "Baekhyun?" The other boy doesn't answer. "The story's not over yet, Elephant Ears still has something to say."
"Baek?" Chanyeol closes his eyes for a second, forcing down a pained sob. He looks forward and starts walking again. His tears meet the earth that now seems so empty. "He wants to say, "I love you. So much.” I love you. You know that, right?"
He knows there’s no one else to hear but he says it again and again. Twice. Thrice. A million times. Now that he has started he won’t ever stop. He'll continue to say it so Baekhyun can perhaps hear him wherever he's going.
"I love you. I love you. I’ll always love you..."
an: im sorry u___u
pairing/s: baekhyun/chanyeol
genre: romance, slight-angst
length: 4,995 wc
rating: g
warning/s: clichés and very vague, weird stuff, unbetaed
summary: chanyeol knows it's crazy but he says it anyway.
an1: written for for_you_i_am for exoforsichuan (omg i finally wrote one; one more to go)
an2: deeply sorry for everything. still, thank you to steph and rei. ily both ♥
His backpack slung over his left shoulder, Chanyeol pastes on a smile as he opens the door to his best friend's room. The tall boy immediately squints, eyes trying to adjust to the gloom he finds inside. All the lights are out and the curtains are closed, only thin slivers of the afternoon sun spilling through the gaps. It takes him a few seconds to locate the boy huddling at the corner of the room in a lump of bedclothes and blankets, a head of messy brown hair peeking out. It's one of those days, Chanyeol thinks fondly before he closes the door behind him, plunging the room in semi-darkness once again.
"Baekhyun? Can I turn on the lights now?"
"No," comes a whispered reply.
"But how can we do homework if we don't?" Chanyeol walks further in, placing his bag by the foot of the bed on the way to where his friend is. He drops down in front of Baekhyun, crosses his long legs, and puts his large hands on the other's thin shoulders. "Baek?"
"I'm not going to do homework anymore. I'm not going to class. I'm just going to rot alone here. That's what my parents want anyway!" Baekhyun says, louder this time but voice still muffled by the bed covers wrapped around him. His head remains bowed and Chanyeol frowns in worry.
He has known Baekhyun forever and he knows what every whimper and every quirk of his lips mean. He knows if his friend’s happy or merely pretending to be with just the way his voice dips or soars. And right now, that tremor he’s hearing means something’s really wrong. He’s crying and probably has been crying all afternoon.
Chanyeol pulls the blanket down enough to reveal Baekhyun’s face. He tilts the other’s head up and traces the corner of Baekhyun’s eyes with the pad of his thumbs. They are damp with tears and he feels new ones sliding against his fingers.
“Hey,” he says softly.
Baekhyun suddenly shrugs off all of the bed covers and launches himself at Chanyeol, grabbing onto his shirt and burying his face against the taller male’s chest. Chanyeol looks down at the weeping boy in surprise and his heart clenches at the sight. His arms go protectively around Baekhyun, pulling him closer and more comfortably on his lap. He rests his chin on top of the smaller boy’s head and he rocks him gently, letting Baekhyun cry all over him. Park Chanyeol is, after all, Byun Baekhyun’s best friend and ruined shirts are part of the deal.
“They’re so unfair,” Baekhyun cries. “I already missed the school trip. Haven’t gone to the fair, either. Now they just told me I can’t go to the Senior dance!”
Chanyeol feels the smaller boy shake with every sob and he tightens his hold on him, wanting to absorb whatever pain Baekhyun’s feeling.
“Why are they like this, Yeol? It’s the last. There’s no more next time. Why won’t they let me? They really don’t care about me!”
“Shhh,” Chanyeol hushes him. “Don’t say that. They love you, Baek. They love you as much as I-” He abruptly cuts himself off, throat closing up with what he almost said.
Baekhyun looks up and their eyes meet, the smaller’s, teary and curious. “What-”
The younger boy shakes his head with a short laugh and tries to distract his friend with a hand on Baekhyun’s waist. It works. With well-practiced moves, he lets his long fingers trail along the other’s ribs and has Baekhyun giggling and squirming against him.
“Stop. S-stop,” his best friend gasps weakly in between laughter.
Chanyeol finally takes pity on him and with a last swipe of his fingers the taller boy stands up carefully, carrying Baekhyun in his arms. He weighs no more than a feather. Chanyeol vaguely remembers a time when it was Baekhyun who carries him on his back when they were younger. His grin falls a little but quickly returns in full when his best friend rests his head against the crook of his neck.
“If you drop me, you’re dead,” Baekhyun threatens.
Chanyeol brings him to the bed and quickly swings him into a big arch, as if he’s about to throw the shorter boy in the middle of the mattress. Baekhyun yelps but Chanyeol slows down at the last second and lays his best friend gently onto the bed. He receives a small punch to the stomach for his prank but it’s okay because Baekhyun’s smiling again. He straightens up and walks over to the windows to open the curtains. Late afternoon sun pours in, driving away the darkness and bathing the room in pleasant warmth.
He turns and his gaze finds Baekhyun on the bed in his oversized shirt and ratty pajama bottoms and Chanyeol thinks he has never seen a more beautiful sight. The light seems to enjoy trifling with the strands of his hair, making it gleam like burnished copper one second and shine like threads of gold the next. He feels that familiar breathlessness attack him again-an affliction he got that day he woke up and realized he was in love with Byun Baekhyun.
Ten years together and counting, he thinks. Somewhere in the middle of their friendship, he discovers that the skipping of his heart beat and the stupid grin on his face every time Baekhyun holds his hand (or smiles or breathes) is him falling in love with his friend; a downward spiral that is equal parts glorious and painful. Glorious when there are times he’s sure Baekhyun feels the same and painful because it remains unsaid.
It’s just that Chanyeol doesn’t know if there will ever be a right time to confess. Because he’s certain doing so is selfish and he can never be selfish with Baekhyun. So although he wants to say it to him a million times over-say it until he marks Baekhyun with his love-he holds his feelings in check. He stops just a fraction of a squeeze from hugging him too tight and pauses a millisecond of a nuzzle from planting a full kiss on his lips.
He just endures the skipping heartbeats and stupid grins for to be beside Baekhyun is enough. He’ll do anything to be close to him as long as he can; do everything to make him happy.
Right now he’s certain he’s doing a poor job of it because under the same light that perfectly sets off his delicate features, Chanyeol sees that Baekhyun’s smile is frayed at the edges, lonely and tired.
“I want to be free, Chanyeol. I want to breathe for just one second,” Baekhyun says quietly. He lets out a sad little laugh that effectively breaks Chanyeol’s heart. “But it will never happen.”
The younger boy opens his mouth but instead of the usual words of reassurance that are always on the ready on his lips, he stutters as a crazy idea catches him in its unrelenting grip. It doesn’t let go even if thinking of the consequences alone leaves Chanyeol staggering. It’s definitely insane and all kinds of impossible yet he steps dazedly forward and the words leave his mouth even before he can stop them.
“Run away with me.”
Baekhyun looks at him startled, his eyes mirroring disbelief. Chanyeol can't believe he said it, too. But he can't make himself take it back.
"What are you saying, Yeol?"
Chanyeol takes the remaining steps towards the bed and promptly sits on it, knees shaking. "Wait, let me just-catch my breath." It's silly. He's panicking, his mind's whirring, but he's still not backing down. "I know it's fast and it makes no sense and-I'm not sure but we can take my dad's old car. We can and we just, I have some money and I can drive. All you need to bring is yourself. And maybe clothes! Yes, clothes and blankets and you can bring a bag. Of course."
He's panting as if he's already running when in truth he's just so nervous. His mind keep repeating that this is surely the mother of all bad ideas and he should stop now but his mouth won't listen to him.
"Let me take you away. Anywhere you want to be. I'll take you there. Anywhere," Chanyeol promises fervently. Anywhere where I can see you smile. "It's crazy, Baek. I know it's crazy but. I-I'm not explaining this properly at all, am I? I'll take care of you just... We can make plans as we go." Chanyeol runs his hand through his hair while the other grabs tightly on the bed covers. "Let me, let me just-"
Let me be the place where you hide. Let me take you away where you'll be free. Let me make you happy. Let me.
He wants to say all of those but he's never good with words so he sighs in frustration. He watches as his knuckles whiten against Baekhyun's dark blue sheets from the stranglehold he has on it. Then he feels a warm hand cover his and Chanyeol glances up at Baekhyun's searching eyes. The smaller boy leans close until their foreheads are touching.
"Baek," he rasps, suddenly so desperate.
Baekhyun smiles. "Let's go."
Chanyeol's palms are sweating as his thumbs anxiously tap on the steering wheel. Baekhyun's taking so long. He knew it. He knows he shouldn't have listened to his friend. He should have fetched Baekhyun right from the Byun's backdoor and shouldn't just have stayed here in the car, waiting and being useless. He shouldn't have let Baekhyun convince him that he can slip from their house easily by midnight, that Chanyeol should just park in front of their lawn with the car engine running so that when he comes out they'll be good to go.
He fidgets again while looking out for Baekhyun, hoping he'd show up any second now. He really shouldn't even have suggested this, he scolds himself angrily. What if Baekhyun got caught? Or what if Baekhyun fell down the stairs with his haste? What if he slipped and was now lying on their kitchen floor with a broken bone or something? What if he's unconscious? What if-
Lost in thought, he jumps in his seat when someone knocks on the car window. It's Baekhyun, grinning but looking pale and cold. Chanyeol immediately goes out and scoops the smaller boy in his arms. He runs to the passenger side and deposits him on the seat then quickly returns behind the wheels. His heart is thumping fast with adrenaline as he steps on the gas and they speed away. He only takes his first easy breath when they round the first corner towards freedom.
"You should've seen your face," Baekhyun says with a faint chuckle. "You looked positively green."
"Shut up," Chanyeol groans. "I was worried, okay?"
"Sorry," the older boy replies in a thready voice. "It was a bit-difficult."
It's just then that Chanyeol notices Baekhyun's bare feet when his best friend pulls his legs up and hugs his knees. He's in his pajamas, a yellow one this time-a little loose on the collar and with sleeves that go past Baekhyun's fingers. The other boy didn't bring anything at all with him except for his smile, albeit a tired looking one right now.
Keeping one eye on the road, Chanyeol reaches at the back seat to pull a blanket from the pile of stuff he brought. He parks the car for a moment, tucking Baekhyun under the blanket and making sure the temperature inside the car is warm enough for his best friend. Baekhyun smiles at him gratefully before leaning against the car door, watching the passing scenery through the window.
"Where are we going, Chanyeol?"
"It's going to be a surprise, Baek. You should sleep first if you can," he replies, absently brushing away his friend's fringe away from his pretty face.
Baekhyun nods and closes his eyes. "Please don't crash us into anything," the shorter male murmurs sleepily.
That startles a laugh from Chanyeol who rolls his eyes at his friend's teasing. "I won't. I promise."
They're now on the highway and he's relieved that there are only a few cars out at this time. He is by no means a great driver and it helps that there are less things to crash the car into. He glances at Baekhyun from time to time, the tightness in his chest easing as time passes. He looks peaceful sleeping curled into a ball in his seat, as if running away with Chanyeol isn't something to be worried about. As if he trusts Chanyeol with his life.
Chanyeol's phone vibrates in his pocket and he takes it out.
He left his shoes.
Chanyeol, please take care of our Baekhyun.
He can almost see Mrs. Byun's face as she typed the message, the sadness that must be etched there. He bites his lower lip to keep them from trembling. I will. I'll take care of him.
Whatever it takes.
He has been doing it for a long time anyway, since that fateful day Baekhyun scraped his knee when their bikes crashed into each other at the park during second grade. He saw the small boy holding back his tears and Chanyeol wanted to protect and take care of him even if was the one who ended up with four stitches and a broken arm.
His best friend doesn't deserve tears because Baekhyun makes him so happy. Whenever the older boy leans his head on his shoulder, Chanyeol has a tendency to thank all the stars that lined up so Park Chanyeol can meet Byun Baekhyun.
Not everyone can be so lucky.
The skies are a few shades lighter when Chanyeol turns into the road that will take them to his surprise. Just in time, he thinks. There isn't much to see at this hour of dawn, but Chanyeol supposes the place will be beautiful when morning comes-as beautiful as Baekhyun is when he wakes up with his hair sticking out this way and that and his mouth spread into a lopsided grin.
How nice it will be if the world looks like Baekhyun, Chanyeol tells himself. If the skies are as dazzling as his best friend's eyes then no one needs to ever feel lonely. If the trees are as slender as Baekhyun's fingers and if each flower is as pretty as Baekhyun's lips. But then again just a world with Baekhyun in it is already a world so wonderful, he can't ask for more.
"Are we there yet?" the boy beside him asks with a yawn, eyelids droopy.
"Almost, just a bit more," Chanyeol answers. "Oh, no. Don't open your eyes yet. You're not allowed to see where we're going."
"But why?" Baekhyun whines but he keeps them shut. "How long 'til we get there?"
"Just a few more minutes, Baek." He sees the elder pout at his reply and he smirks. "Nope, that won't work this time.
"It's worth a try," Baekhyun mutters.
Chanyeol laughs and reaches over to pinch a cute nose. But his hand gets caught by two smaller ones and he finds he can't take it back. It's trapped in Baekhyun's hold and the smaller boy deems it fitting that it stays there on his lap entwined with his as they drive along the quiet road. It's tricky to drive with one hand but it's okay. As his palm connects and merges with Baekhyun's he thinks it's all worth it.
"This is dumb, you know."
Chanyeol shakes his head at his best friend. They left the car a few minutes ago and are now on foot, deliberately making their way towards Chanyeol's surprise. The taller's hand is covering Baekhyun's eyes while his other's wrapped around Baekhyun's waist and is holding one of his hands, supporting him securely against his side. Chanyeol could've just carried him because he's barefoot and all but his best friend insists that he'll walk so here they are.
"Yeol, you don't have to cover my eyes anymore. I already know where we are. I can actually hear the waves from miles away and there's sand in between my toes."
The younger male sighs. "I know, okay. Just pretend it's still a surprise."
Baekhyun laughs suddenly. "Okay. I'm a pest, aren't I?"
"Yup," he answers without hesitation. He gets a weak elbow to his side and he chuckles, feeling happier with every slow progress they're making. Finally reaching the perfect spot, they stop and Chanyeol uncovers his best friend's eyes. He watches in anticipation as they flutter open.
Baekhyun's lips part in awe as he sees the vast ocean in front of him, waves furiously rushing at them only to crash into the shore before they retreat. The air is cold and it nips at their skin, painting Chanyeol's large ears red and dusting Baekhyun's nose with the same hue. His best friend looks up and beams at him and for the billionth time Chanyeol wants to say I love you.
"Surprise?" he tells him instead.
Baekhyun giggles and returns his gaze to the ocean, resting his body against Chanyeol's and wrapping both of Chanyeol's long arms around his middle. "Best surprise," he whispers.
They're standing there for some time when he feels Baekhyun lean tiredly against him. Chanyeol guides him down to sit, making a place for the smaller boy in between his bent legs; arranging their clumsy limbs so that Baekhyun's back is against his chest and the boy can place his head on Chanyeol's shoulder-which he does.
"I give you VIP seats to the best show in town," Chanyeol teases, placing a soft kiss against Baekhyun's temple.
"The best seats," Baekhyun agrees. "This is very nice."
"Now, shush and enjoy the show."
As if on cue, the sun comes out of its hiding, crawling its way up the horizon-a fiery ball of light brightening the sky from a dark blue into a reddish gold, chasing away the chill of the night before and replacing it with something infinitely warmer. Something, to Chanyeol, that feels like hope.
"Yeol, it's so beautiful!" Baekhyun says giddily. "Have you ever seen the sunrise before?"
Chanyeol wants to say that he has. He sees it every time Baekhyun scrunches his nose and every time Baekhyun laughs. He sees it when Baekhyun calls his name or when Baekhyun rolls his eyes at him. He's pretty sure he can name dozens and dozens of things that Baekhyun does that can match the beauty of a sunrise but he's dumb and has never been good with words. Haven't they established that already? So he settles with a simple, "Yeah."
"Where do we go next, Chanyeol?"
Chanyeol holds on to Baekhyun tighter. "There are a lot of places we can go to, Baek. I told you anywhere, right? We can go around the country, from one end to the other. Just tell me and I'll take you there."
Baekhyun laughs. "Okay, and once we're done here, can we go abroad too? I want to see Paris and Spain."
"We'll go there. I'll have to probably sell my arm but I promise to take you to the Eiffel and throw you off from the top," he teases.
Baekhyun pouts. "I'll find a new best friend. Someone who can speak French and can cook me spaghetti."
"I think that's Italian."
"Same difference," the smaller boy answers in a huff.
"Would you really? Find a new best friend?" The question's meant to be teasing but Chanyeol can't quite keep the seriousness from his tone.
"Hmmm. If I find someone really, really tall with bulging eyes and maniacal smile and humongous ears and gigantic hands and gargantuan feet and extra extra large heart whose name is Park Chanyeol," Baekhyun pauses for effect. "Then maybe I'll dump you for him."
"You punk," he says with narrowed eyes before he bursts out laughing. "Do I really look that terrible?"
"Yes but that's good, isn't it? Then no one would take you away from me."
The taller boy doesn't know how to respond so he just buries his face on his best friend's shoulder. No one can take him away from Baekhyun and he desperately wishes the opposite is true, too.
Chanyeol hears his stomach rumble. He has packed some food in his bag and he's about to ask Baekhyun if he wants to eat when he feels his best friend tense in his arms. It's so unexpected that Chanyeol falls back on his elbows, gaping, when Baekhyun suddenly stands and runs towards the ocean. It takes a few seconds to recover from his shock and Chanyeol quickly scrambles to his feet to run after his friend.
"Baekhyun!"
The smaller boy doesn't get far. He stumbles and falls to his knees just as he reaches the edge of the water. Chanyeol stops to hunch over his friend, his face marred with worry and fear. "Hey."
Baekhyun looks up and there's a fresh track of tears running down his soft cheeks and Chanyeol feels like he's failing again.
"Do you know what's scary, Yeol? That no matter how hard I've tried to run from it, I know it will always catch me." The tears fall freely. "And I'm just-I'm so tired, you know?"
Baekhyun sounds so resigned. Chanyeol doesn’t cry but at that point he wants to. He also wants to rage against every unfair thing in the world. Except he can't so he bends down and catches his best friend's face in his palms. "Then don't run." Chanyeol lets go and turns around before he bends back down and gives Baekhyun his back. "Come on, I'll carry you."
"But then you'll be the one tired."
Chanyeol pays no attention to Baekhyun's reply. He reaches for the shorter male's thin arms and wounds it around his neck. Baekhyun doesn't say a word when Chanyeol lifts him on his back. The elder's pajamas are wet and his feet are cold against Chanyeol's waist but the taller boy doesn't mind.
"Chanyeol-"
"I won't get tired, Baek," Chanyeol says. "I'll never ever get tired if it's you."
He feels his friend burrow himself closer against his back. "Then can we-I don't want to go back yet," Baekhyun pleads in a weak voice.
They take a stroll along the shore with Chanyeol still carrying Baekhyun on his back.
"I saw my parents," Baekhyun starts. "They were hiding near the stairs when I went out the backdoor. I was waiting for them to stop me but they didn't."
Chanyeol pauses. He's been found out. "Baek, I'm-"
"And I don't believe your dad will just let you take the car. Knowing you, you'd have made a racket trying to sneak out of your house," Baekhyun continues, a small smile evident in his tone.
"Baekhyun, I-"
"It's okay, Chanyeol." Baekhyun bumps his forehead gently against the back of Chanyeol's head. "For a little while, I still felt free."
"I'm sorry," he replies for he doesn't know what else to say. Asking Baekhyun to run away with him was an impulsive decision and he might've wanted to do it for real but he knows they can't. He's just on the verge of adulthood. Almost but not quite there.
But he's not sure if they have the time to wait for that day, if Baekhyun can wait for him. So he did the next best thing.
He secretly told both their parents his plans. He pleaded and begged and cried to give this sunrise to Baekhyun. It was all worth it when they said yes.
"You always do these things for me," Baekhyun says after a while."You always take care of me. I'd like to do something for you, too."
Chanyeol has to strain his ears because his best friend's voice is getting fainter. "There's no need for that." I'll do anything for you, Baek.
"But I have to because," Baekhyun replies haltingly. "What if you forget about me?"
The younger male chuckles to hide the pinch in his heart. "That's impossible."
"If you say so. But Yeol?"
"Hmm?"
"I love-your voice. Sometimes, well, most of the time I just tune what you're saying out and just listen to it," Baekhyun says, incorrigible as ever.
Chanyeol sighs in exasperation and affection, skipping a little to press Baekhyun closer to him. "I knew it."
"Tell me a story, Yeol. I want to hear your voice."
Chanyeol's hands tremble for he's suddenly so afraid but he swallows the fear and says in his deep and steady voice, "Alright, I will. But you have to promise to hear it until the end, okay?" Baekhyun mumbles.
"Baek, okay?"
"Of course-Dumbdumb."
"Okay then." Park Chanyeol doesn’t cry. He has to remember that. "The story starts out in Seoul-"
"Can't it be in Paris?"
"Baek-"
"Okay, okay."
"So there's this boy. He's a little bit on the chubby side nonetheless he's really cute," Chanyeol starts, lips quirking when he hears his friend mumbles an I think I know where this is going. But he proceeds. "So this cute boy-"
Baekhyun snorts.
"So this cute boy," he repeats. "Owns a very special thing. He has this pair of really, really big ears. That's why he's called-"
"Park Chanyeol," Baekhyun butts in.
"No, he's called Elephant Ears,” The younger boy gets lost for a moment in his memories before he goes on. "Now in his street, there was another boy almost the same age as him but he’s really skinny. Like, so skinny that a strong wind can blow him away.”
“I wasn’t that skinny.”
Chanyeol ignores his best friend’s mumbling. “The other boy was called Pretty Fingers because he has, well, the prettiest fingers. They weren’t exactly friends at first because Pretty Fingers always gave him grief for having humongous ears. He teased him a lot but Elephant Ears didn’t cry. He never cries.”
“Still, they became closer as they grew up together and, in the case of Elephant Ears, grow was an understatement. His ears grew larger but so did the rest of him so it wasn’t so bad. He's at least a head taller than Pretty Fingers and it’s the best. The other boy should really have been called Tiny Boy but then Pretty Fingers grew even more beautiful-from the tops of his head to the tips of his toes.”
“And every year since, it seemed he only got more beautiful that sometimes-Elephant Ears couldn’t take his eyes off him. He liked it most when Pretty Fingers smiled, because when he did, Elephant Ears felt like he was flying. It went on until he woke up one morning and the first thing he thought of was to hold those pretty fingers forever. That would be enough.”
Chanyeol takes a shaky breath. “It's just that, one day, they said that he can't hold on to them forever. When he found out, he felt betrayed. His best friend would be taken away from him and he’s afraid that no matter how fast he runs, there will come a time when he could no longer catch up.”
He feels the slide of hot tears against the side of his neck and Chanyeol can feel his own threatening to fall.
“So he promised that he’d do everything to make pretty Fingers happy because maybe, whoever was up there would change their mind and wouldn’t take his friend away anymore. He’d be a good boy, he’d do everything. But then he saw Pretty Fingers cry and Elephant Ears finally gave in and did something selfish. He said he wouldn’t ever be selfish with his best friend but he’s just so afraid.” Chanyeol tries to blink the tears away. “He snatched those slender fingers and ran away with him. Even if he knew it was bad, even if he knew it wouldn’t change a thing. He just wanted to see Pretty fingers smile again.”
“Thank you,” Baekhyun whispers.
“They reached a magical place where the lights played with Pretty Finger's eyes and made them glow, making Elephant Ears stare in wonder and in awe. But once there, Pretty fingers unexpectedly asked him what he wanted and Elephant Ears couldn’t answer. Though he wanted so much to say, "Don't go to a place where I can't reach you. Stay."'
The tears flow steadily. “I’m… sorry… Yeol.”
Chanyeol shakes his head and pulls Baekhyun ever so closer. "It's not your fault, Baek. Don't cry."
"Chanyeol," and Baekhyun's voice is faint and he almost loses to the crashing waves. "Elephant Ears made Pretty Fingers... really happy. Always."
The taller boy feels a soft kiss against his jaw.
Chanyeol nods and continues to walk, heart heavy inside his chest. He can’t see anything past the tears clouding his vision and his throat hurts so much. He gets the urge to break into a sprint, to take Baekhyun further away. He wants to take him somewhere where there are no shadows and where he can fill him with the same music he has filled Chanyeol’s life with.
He turns his face and he can see the tops of Baekhyun's head resting on his shoulder. "Baekhyun?" The other boy doesn't answer. "The story's not over yet, Elephant Ears still has something to say."
"Baek?" Chanyeol closes his eyes for a second, forcing down a pained sob. He looks forward and starts walking again. His tears meet the earth that now seems so empty. "He wants to say, "I love you. So much.” I love you. You know that, right?"
He knows there’s no one else to hear but he says it again and again. Twice. Thrice. A million times. Now that he has started he won’t ever stop. He'll continue to say it so Baekhyun can perhaps hear him wherever he's going.
"I love you. I love you. I’ll always love you..."
an: im sorry u___u