fan fiction: finding home chapter 6
Chapter Six-Situation Normal, All Fouled Up
In spite of his pretty-sounding words, Daniel wasn't around any more often over the next few days. By this point, Vala had careened past frustration, disappointment, and hurt. She was bloody furious.
It didn't help matters that she was slowly going wonko.
After four and a half years living in New York, after being able to go wherever she wanted whenever she wanted to do whatever she wanted, it was quite the blow to be stuck back underground like some kind of damn prisoner. Why should she need permission to leave the base? She wasn't a child. She hadn't been a child for a very long time.
She was restless and bored and just wanted to go somewhere. Somewhere with green grass and blue sky and fresh air and sunshine. Somewhere that wasn't solid gray walls keeping her trapped. Even the long weeks on the Odyssey hadn't driven her to this level of hut fever.
At least SG-1 had a mission coming up. That would help as far as getting her off base. But it was her first mission with the team in five years. Between that fact, the tense situation with Daniel, and the overall confinement, Vala didn't think there were enough words in any language to describe the conflicting emotions roiling around in her gut.
She glared at the computer screen on her desk. Clearly she wasn’t getting any work done now. Grumbling under her breath, she headed for the commissary.
Cameron was there with Dr. Lam. Or would it be Dr. Mitchell now? Dr. Lam-Mitchell? Oh, whatever. Carolyn. Vala plopped in the seat next to her and spoke in a chirpy tone. “Hello, you two. How are you today?”
“Better than you are, it would seem,” Carolyn said.
Vala flashed her biggest, toothiest smile. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”
Carolyn raised an eyebrow and pinned her with an I-am-so-not-buying-your-bullshit look. “I’m sure that you do. What gives?”
Vala didn’t answer, and Cameron leaned forward. “C’mon, princess. Talk to us. I may be a few years out of practice, but you know I’m good at solving all your problems.”
That made her laugh. Oh, she’d missed him! “Why, yes, Cameron, you solved every single one of them.”
“Hey, that’s how I remember it.” He grinned at her. “Now come on. Spill.”
“I want to live off base.” It might not actually solve all of her problems, but it would at least be a start.
Cameron whistled and sat back. “Damn, girl, going for broke right outta the gate, dontcha think?”
“You asked. What's the matter? Don't you think General Landry will allow it?”
“General Landry’s not your problem. He’ll go for it for sure. The IOA? Them I'm not so sure about.”
Carolyn bristled. “You must be joking. Why would they care? There's no reason to say no other than to cause trouble.”
“Honey, have you met the IOA? Causing trouble is what they do. And they had a helluva mess when T tried to live off-base years ago. I don't think they're going to jump at lettin’ another off-worlder out in the open.” Cameron shrugged. “Still, that was ages ago. And you lived in New York for four years with no incidents. It doesn't hurt any to ask. I'll talk to the general. And maybe see if I can get O'Neill in our corner”
“Thank you, Cameron.”
“Yeah.” Suddenly he groaned and dropped his head. “Aw, man, this’ll mean I've gotta move all your crap again.”
“Sorry, that's the price you pay as an expert problem-solver,” Vala said innocently. Cameron shot her a dark look while Carolyn smirked.
###
Cameron had said that the ill-fated mission years ago would be a vacation and had been proven disastrously wrong. No one said anything this time, but the newly reunited SG-1's first mission turned out to be the easy holiday that their last one had not been.
Vala loved every minute of it. She sipped overly sweet homemade wine, danced with villagers around a bonfire, and listened to Daniel carry on philosophical discussions with the various leaders. It was perfect.
The good feelings carried her through the next few days. And when General Landry informed her that her request to live off base had been approved, Vala thought she might just burst from happiness. She called Bryce and nearly broke his eardrum squealing over the phone. Cameron promised they'd all celebrate with a dinner out soon.
Now she walked into Daniel's office. It still seemed weird not coming here every day, and she still missed him with an almost physical ache. Funny how it was much harder to deal with missing him here at the SGC than it had been all those years apart.
“I need your help,” she told him.
He looked up. “Okaaay...”
“I've gotten permission to live off-base. I need to find an apartment.”
“And you need me for that why?”
“I need to actually see the apartments, Daniel! And it might help to have someone who knew what to look for as far as lease agreements. I never had to deal with that in New York. I just lived in shelters and then I moved in with Bryce.”
“Right.” Daniel grimaced. “I'm awfully busy, Vala. Can't Mitchell do it?”
“He's helping as much as he can, but you might recall he does have a rather pregnant wife who takes a little of his time.”
“Oh. Yeah. Well...”
Vala handed him a printout. “We've narrowed it down to this list. If you could drive me to these places?”
“What, now?”
“As soon as possible! Cameron said the good ones go quick. And General Landry already okayed it.”
“Of course he did.” Daniel sighed heavily.
Why in the worlds did she keep trying with him? Could he possibly make it any more plain that he didn't want her around? Honestly, it hadn't been this bad back when they had those blasted kor mak bracelets on. “Forget it. I shouldn't have even asked you. Go back to work, and I'll find an SF to drive me. Sorry to bother you.”
“No, Vala, wait. I'm sorry.” He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I told you I didn't know how to do this.”
“I don't actually think that's the problem, Daniel. I think you don't want to do this. And I'm not going to force you to be my friend. Not this time.”
“You didn't force me last time! And I know I'm being an ass. And I really am sorry. Come on, let's go look at apartments.”
She eyed him suspiciously. “Are you sure?”
“I'm sure. Mitchell's right; the good ones go fast. Hand me that list again, and we'll plot a route.”
Still not convinced, she put her printout back on his desk. Daniel studied it, researching locations and making notes. Finally he looked up. “All right, let's go. Just let me grab coffee on the way.”
That made her smile. At least some things didn't change.
###
The first apartment they saw was a little too small and run down. The next one had already been rented. Then they saw an adorable little house for rent that might have been perfect...if Vala could afford it. Unfortunately, she didn't think she could. The one after that seemed to falling completely apart. Another apartment was too far from the mountain. Daniel could sense Vala's growing frustration. “It shouldn't be this hard,” she muttered unhappily.
“It’s always this hard,” Daniel said. “Finding the right place is a royal pain the ass. Come on, I’ll buy you lunch, and then we’ll tackle a few more on your list. But, Vala, you probably aren’t going to find something in one day!”
Her lower lip thrust out in a pout. “But I wanted to choose one today!”
“Why? So you could rush into something and then be stuck with a place you hate and a lease you can't get out of? Not a good idea.”
The pout deepened. “But I might not be able to come looking again! I barely talked you into it today! And Carolyn's apparently building a nest, so she and Cameron don't have much free time.”
Daniel sighed, realizing again just how much his reticence had hurt her feelings. He didn't bother to correct her turn of phrase. “I'm sorry for how I acted. I promise I won't be such a grump the next time you need to go house hunting. Now come on. I'm hungry.”
To his relief, Vala tucked her arm through his. It felt like old times. He tried not to think about all the reasons it was a bad idea to let her do that. For a few minutes, he just wanted to enjoy her closeness. For a few minutes, he wanted to forget the last five years and all the things that had changed between them.
He took her to King's Chef Diner for lunch. Vala had developed an affinity for diners after Sol's. They had been making the rounds through various diners in the area, and he'd always enjoyed her childlike excitement far more than the food.
But today she spent most of the meal frowning at her list of potential rentals. Wanting her feel better, Daniel said, “How about we look at Cobblestone Ridge and Cheyenne Creek next? And maybe the Willows. Those are all fairly close to the mountain. And the prices aren't bad. There were even a couple of two bedroom places available.”
“Okay.” But she sounded far too subdued for Daniel's taste-not at all his exuberant Vala.
Not that she was really his Vala anymore-she hadn't been for a long time now. Biting back another sigh, he stabbed his food with the fork.
After lunch Vala made a liar out of him by finding a perfect two-bedroom apartment at the perfect price and perfect location. Daniel couldn't decide if he was amused or exasperated. Only Vala would have such luck.
He helped her look over the lease, which seemed fairly standard. He tried (unsuccessfully) to keep her from haggling with the apartment manager. She didn't get her monthly rent lowered like she wanted, but she did get her deposit reduced. He admitted to feeling a glimmer of pride over that-that's my girl. Eventually Vala signed her name and paid the security deposit and made plans for moving in.
The manager left them, and Vala did an excited sideways bounce. “Look at it, Daniel! Isn't it beautiful?”
He watched her twirl happily. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
Still beaming, she launched herself at him. For a moment he was too stunned to respond, but he recovered quickly and wrapped her in a congratulatory hug.
This was dangerous territory. He knew it, and he still allowed it to happen. He wasn't her Daniel anymore, she wasn't his Vala, but he'd missed her-missed this-so damn much. He closed his eyes, briefly savoring the closeness before she pulled back.
She did so a moment later, her eyes still shining. “Thank you, darling. I know you didn't want to come, but I'm glad you did. I love this, and it seems...right that you were with me.”
It did seem right. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
Daniel was never a hundred percent sure what happened next. Vala placed a hand on one side of his face and stretched forward-probably to kiss his other cheek. That seemed reasonable. But he turned his head at the wrong (right?) moment and caught her lips with his instead.
It was like coming home. He slid his hands up her back, pulling her closer. She made a soft little noise in the back of her throat, and he was a goner. He deepened the kiss, tongues tangling, her hands fisting in his hair.
He heard a sound off to the side and came to his senses enough to pull back. Vala either didn't hear the sound or didn't care; she began working her way along his jaw and down his throat, kissing and nibbling. His eyes drifted shut again. They couldn't do this, he needed to stop it, but-oh, hell, how was he supposed to do that?
“Vala.” The word came out as a croak. Daniel cleared his throat and tried again. “Vala. Honey, please.”
“Mm.” She had found his pulse point and nipped lightly. “Please what, darling?”
“We have to stop.”
“Why?” Her lips were back at his, soft and tantalizing. He groaned and lost the battle again. This time their mouths almost collided, painful and bruising. Vala hitched up a leg, pushing herself closer. She was going to kill him, he just knew it. He'd spontaneously combust any minute now. Calling on every ounce of willpower he possessed, Daniel pulled away again. “Vala, stop.”
“Why?” she repeated, her voice low and breathy.
“We can't do this.”
“Oh, but I've missed this, Daniel.”
“I...missed it too. But Vala, we can't just pick back up where we left off. We aren't the same people we were then. We aren't together anymore. And we aren't...free. We can't be together anymore. You know that. You know this is all kinds of wrong.”
Something froze in her expression. “Oh. No, no, of course. Of course you're right. I'm sorry, Daniel. I just got...carried away.”
“We both did,” Daniel said. He took a deep breath and tried to think of something, anything he could say to make this better. Nothing came. Words failed him right when he needed them most.
Vala flashed that too-bright smile he'd always hated. “Well, then, let's head back to base. We can tell the others the good news and start planning my move-in day.”
Her voice was all wrong-cheerful, chirpy, yet brittle. Daniel hated it, hated that he'd hurt her feelings, hated that they'd lost control like that. Just swept up in the moment, and only for a moment, but just look at what it had done.
This was why he'd stayed locked in his office all the time. He was avoiding this.
The ride back to base was silent, the tension hanging thick and heavy in the air. Daniel could almost taste it. He and Vala had bickered and bantered and sometimes raged. They'd laughed and joked and bumped and nudged. They'd kissed and caressed and made love, sometimes tenderly, sometimes explosively.
Never once in the years they'd known each other had they been awkward with other. Even in the early days, when he'd thought he despised her, it had never been awkward.
This sucked. So much.
They arrived back at base, and Vala finally spoke. “Thank you for helping me today, Daniel. I'm sorry for how it ended. I wish...I wish things could be different.”
She was gone before he could tell her he wished the very same thing.
Continue on to Chapter 7.